Weekly Thought – September 15, 2020

Fred-in-the-Bed was a weekly event drawing anywhere from 17 to 36 participants who listened to his accumulated “dialysis university” thinking. Chairs were placed around his hospital-style bed and he held court. He taught for 90 minutes, enjoying every single minute! The binder of notes from 2004 and 2005 assembled by Donna Skell and JoyLynn Hailey Reed reflect the breadth of his thinking. The cover of the binder bears a metal plate with the words: “a teacher inspires.” This is the third of five excerpts featured in September, his birthday month.

November 27, 2004 Fred in the Bed, part 3

“We should have the feeling of progressing in life,” There are five disciplines in life:

a) Financial – Money is important because it gives you options, Money is like blood in the body. “I make blood to live; I don’t live to make blood.” It is healthy to live on 80% of annual income. When Mary Alice and I married we had $5.00. I always kid her saying if she wanted more, she should have saved more! We committed to living on 50% of our income until we had a year’s income in the bank. We believed in giving 10% as a minimum and definitely saving at least 10%.

Learn the difference between saving, investment, and speculation. Investment is playing WITH the odds, Speculation is playing AGAINST the odds. Make friends of compound interest. Don’t spend interest, invest it.

We used the rule of putting deposits in our “memory bank…” We invested in experiences through travel, associating with interesting people, and education. We knew that children learn financial management based on what they see their parents do.

b) Physical – I laughingly say my favorite form of exercise is stopping by my favorite donut shop, parking on Willow Lane, and watching my friends run the track at The Cooper Center. I have been blessed with good health until my kidneys decided they needed extra attention 3x a week. Childhood exposure to lead based paint slowly deteriorated their functioning. I am not disabled by dialysis, but only “delightfully dependent.”

c) Mental and associations – My good friend Charlie “Tremendous” Jones likes to say “Except for the people you meet, the places you go, and the books you read, you will be the same person in 5 years as you are today.” I know travel, reading, and associations are the pillars of my development plan.

d) Emotional – Maturity is stretching your wheelbase. Think of going over a road bump in a Smart Car then think about going over in a stretch limousine…what a difference. In the Smart Car you almost climb the bump with front and back wheels simultaneously. The limo gives a long space between front and back. Children’s emotions change from laughing to crying in just moments… they have a very short wheel base. My grandson Jeff Horch and his wife have a baby son named Jack. When he starts fussing they say to him, “Jack, SYW!” meaning stretch your wheelbase.

e) Spiritual – Know what you believe. Know what your standard of belief and truth is. I accept the Bible as the compass which indicates true north. I can wander through various intellectual forests, but still find my way home if the Bible is my source and guide. Have a clear answer for “who do you say I am?”

This week carefully think about: 1) Which of the disciplines requires significant thought? 2) How do I build memories with my family? 3) How would I measure my life progress?

Words of Wisdom: “I never think of myself as disabled, just delightfully dependent.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, will give you spiritual wisdom and revelation in your growing knowledge of him.” (Ephesians 1:17 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 8, 2020

Fred experienced four hospitalizations which were predicted to usher him from earth to heaven. Each time he recovered, returned home, and continuing stretching and blessing. After an early one he spent a restless, frustrating weekend. His daughter in whose house he lived realized this pattern would drive the both crazy. She called dear friend Ed Yates saying, “Dad is definitely not satisfied with no activity. Would you invite some friends and come by next Saturday?” Ed began a Saturday tradition which continued until his death. Because chairs were placed around him as he lay elevated, but horizontal, it became known as Fred in the Bed. Donna Skell and JoyLynn Hailey Reed compiled their notes for two years as a gift for his 90th birthday. During his birthday month of September the compilation will be excerpted.

August 21, 2004 Fred in the Bed, part two

Fred talked about stress quoting St. Avalon “The imagination is the fool of the house.” So much of our stress comes from imagination, My ancient mystic friend Francois Fenelon says when we move away from gratitude for today and imagining a better tomorrow we are “insulting the opportunities of today.”

How do you maintain inner strength during stressful periods?

A helpful metaphor is a submarine. As the ship goes down the pressure (strength) inside needs to increase to counter-balance the pressure outside. When we are in stressful seasons we must make sure our internal strength is adequate to offset the external forces pushing against us.

Anger also produces stress. Have you ever known people whose lives seemed to have a thin veneer of civility and calm yet once the surface was scratched anger bubbled up like a volcano? Because of my love for food I also like the picture of Crème Brulee. The crust is thin and fragile. Once punctured the custard is exposed (and in my case, quickly consumed). Stress and anger go hand in glove.

I am convinced there are two types of stress: vertical and horizontal. The vertical is healthy because it pulls you up, Think of a flower on a stem. Without turgor pressure the stem droops. Without the fluids pushing through the cells the flower dies, We can grow limp, as well, One of the best examples is the sense of awe (reverential fear) of God.

Horizontal stresses pull us apart and create damage. Designing our lives to meet others’ demands and standards is horizontal. All the current talk about self-image leads to horizontal stress. We want to have a clear definition of self-worth because we were bought by God through the work of Christ. That is settled and doesn’t change just by what others think or say.

In our competitive society there is a prevailing stress – the fear of losing. The losing by our choosing stresses us. When we make one decision we give up other options. These are the “Y”points. Marriage and career are two of the biggest examples. One of the pitfalls of our current day is buyer’s remorse. “If I choose the left fork and it grows dull, I opt out and choose another road.” The stress of always looking around for the better option steals the joy of commitment.

This week carefully consider: 1) If I were immobilized how would I use my time to benefit others? 2) How clear am I on the differentiation between vertical and horizontal stress? 3) What is creating unhealthy stress in my life right now?

Words of Wisdom: “Scripture emphasizes shelter, refuge, and shadow as roles of God… great antidotes for stress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one true God acts in a faithful manner; the LORD’s promise is reliable; he is a shield to all who take shelter in him.” (2 Samuel 22:31 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 25, 2020

Fred encouraged pastors for he knew the pressures they faced. He watched his pastor Father minister to suffering men and women throughout the Depressions of the 1920s and 30s. He and Mary Alice were never members of a congregation without befriending the pastor and his family. This final excerpt from the address to a large Pastors’ Conference summarizes his last points.

A Layman Looks To His Pastor, part four

Depression is a natural ailment in the ministry. I have great compassion for this struggle. The nearer one gets to God the ore Satan fights. The sharpest arrows come to the most potent soldiers.

I have spoken to you about the pastoral responsibilities to the congregation. Encouraging you all is a primary responsibility of each congregant. Charles Spurgeon urged each member to include the pastor in daily prayer.

I was told a pastor’s wife once spoke to Mother Teresa when she was in Washington, DC. “What can I do to make a difference in my husband’s life and ministry?” The Sister with great compassion took the woman’s face between her gnarled hands and sweetly said to her, “Love your husband and children.”

Sometimes pastors just need enough encouragement to take the next step. Don’t you think we often need a pit stop more than a pep rally?

For good measure I am going to give you a 10th point:

10) I want my pastor to have a spirit of participating in the Body of Christ, not as an organization, but as an organism. I am a proponent of denominations because they decentralize power. A centralized church tends to become a political church. Control leads to ownership, not to stewardship.

However I want him to have fellowship with those who bear different denominational badges. I like the picture of heaven with John Wesley, John Calvin, Martin Luther gathered around a table sharing stories.

I don’t want my pastor creating tribal loyalties which exclude other faith traditions. When I hear Christian leaders criticizing others I like to ask, “Are they going to be in heaven?” Their positive response prompts me to say, “What right do you have to beat up on another member of the Body of Christ?” When there is legitimate need for doctrinal discussion in love we should try to be corrective, but not destructive.

Like the English priest who guided me through the Roman catacombs said, “My brother, it is not the form that separates us but the blessed hope of the resurrection which unites us.”

This list isn’t designed to create the “total pastor,” rather stimulate thought and conversation. I believe such conversation can contribute to a pastor’s finding accomplishment, meaning, and challenge enough for a lifetime of faithful ministry.

This week think about: 1) How can I encourage my pastor this week? 2) What would I add to Fred’s list? 3) As a pastor, what can I do to strengthen my congregation?

Words of Wisdom: “Sometimes pastors just need enough encouragement to take the next step.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For everything that was written in former times was written for our instruction, so that through endurance and through encouragement of the scriptures we may have hope.” (Romans 15:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 18, 2020

Fred believed life’s changes were built around what a person reads, where they travel, and their associations. He spent his life desiring to stretch others, but also being stretched. This excerpt from a speech to a pastors’ conference displays Fred’s ability to distill key principles, delivering them in a manner which motivated much note-taking. This week we cover points eight and nine.

As our friends in Christian higher education prepare to return to school, please pray with them. They face challenges beyond the normal ones of semester transition. The students are working on their education during a time of cultural upheaval and social disarray. The administrators, faculty, and staff are joined together to provide excellence in academics and faith development.

A Layman Looks To His Pastor, part three

8) I want my pastor to lead the development of community within the local church. Ray Stedman, pastor of Peninsula Bible Church in California introduced the policy of unanimity for elder decisions. When he first told me I thought it wasn’t necessary, but the closer I got to the situation I understood the wisdom of his policy. This was a solid way to build community within the elder board and the congregation.

We live in such a fractured world. Our cities are not friendly, oftentimes our workplaces are unfriendly (and even toxic), and sadly our homes are not safe haven but seriously dysfunctional. The fellowship of believers should provide a harmonious environment where no one has to play politics or join cliques. I am convinced churches which operate like this will attract people who see the Gospel creates a group who accept and bless.

In my experience each organization needs someone who serves as the glue and the leader of community building. I want my pastor to consider community a high priority.

9) I would like for my pastor to be a resource to the membership… and not just a resource to rehash current reading materials, TV shows, or movies. I don’t go to church to be caught up on cultural trends. I want my pastor to be a resource for spiritual refueling. I want to be responsible for using my gifts and look to my pastor to enable me to maximize my effectiveness. A pastor friend who is very mechanical identifies his role as knowing his congregation and the tools necessary for them to live out their callings. He verbalizes his role as knowing the tools in the garage well enough to put them in the hands of each congregant for each particular job that needs to be done. He calls himself an equipper.

These points demonstrate a key principle: I want my pastor to be in the “hope business.” The world is desperately in need of our pastors to preach the light and life of Christ. We hear from commentators about how lost the world is and how subject we are to disillusionment and depression. I want my pastor to know the reality of faith and transmit that to the congregation week by week. I want the God he serves to be bigger than any world government, or malevolent regime.

This week think carefully about: 1) How can I participate in building community within my church? 2) What can I do this week to speak hope to others? 3) Who can I join with to bring growth to my church?

Words of Wisdom: “In my experience each organization needs someone who serves as the glue and the leader of community building. I want my pastor to consider community a high priority.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well.” (Philippians 2:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 11, 2020

Fred respected the office of pastor. His desire to include his pastors in the personal goal of stretching others created long-term relationships. This week we continue our excerpting of Fred’s A Layman Looks To His Pastor. It is our prayer pastors and other ministry leaders in our BWF community experience growth and blessing as they read.

A Layman Looks To His Pastor, part two

(Fred spoke to a pastors’ conference and outlined nine ideas he shared with his pastor. The masculine pronoun is used by Fred. The editor recognizes the role of women in ministry, but did not change it to stay true to Fred’s writing in a different historical context).

4) I would like my pastor to trust me enough to let me be myself around him so that he can be himself around me. Maintaining images can alienate us from one another. A layman recently commented, “I cannot believe how my friends change when they are with the pastor.” Certainly I am not advocating total intimacy and transparency with everyone for this is dangerous. But I do support reality in relationships and wisdom in what is shared and with whom.

5) I would hope my pastor would maintain personal spiritual vitality so that his sure belief would be a candle in any darkness we all face. But also, that he would recognize when I let down on my spiritual disciplines and stopped growing. Spiritual vitality cannot be gained through osmosis. We all want to have associations with vibrant Christians, but we can’t lean on them for our own life of faith. There was a time in my early adulthood I depended on the Christian experience of a friend, even though my own experience was real. I vividly remember when he confronted me saying, “Fred, get off my spiritual back!” I was sucking him dry because my own walk was arid. God doesn’t want us to live through others, but through the Spirit driven relationship.

6) I want my pastor to know truth, not just the facts of faith. Just as information is not knowledge, and knowledge is not wisdom, so facts and word studies do not adequate express the truth of the revelation God gave in Christ. Father Hesburgh when President of Notre Dame was asked to sit on the board of Chase Manhattan Bank by David Rockefeller. When Father Hesburgh laughed, saying he didn’t even have a bank account, Rockefeller responded “There will be times when we will need to know the truth and for that we will turn to you.” He accepted the position.

7) I would want my pastor to not act humble, but actually be humble. I have always used the definition of humility as: “not denying the power, but admitting it comes through you and not from you.” My son, Fred, recently gave me another one that I like very much: “Accepting your strength with gratitude.” I like to see my pastor receive compliments with graciousness that bespeaks humility. Francois Fenelon said to his friend “Accept the compliments of worthy people as the blessing of God.”

This week carefully consider: 1) Which idea would be a good conversation starter with your pastor? 2) As a pastor or ministry leader, which point most interests you? 3) How can we use Fred’s idea to truly encourage our pastors?

Words of Wisdom: “God doesn’t want us to live through others, but through the Spirit drive relationship.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The fear of the LORD provides wise instruction, and before honor comes humility.” (Proverbs 15:33 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 4, 2020

Fred grew up as a PK (preacher’s kid). His father pastored small Baptist churches, attending to the spiritual and physical needs of men and women throughout the dark days of the depression. Fred befriended pastors throughout his life. Even in his death he demonstrated his respect as he asked five ordained men to preach his memorial service. For the next weeks excerpts from a piece written with the title “A Layman Looks To His Pastor” will be the selections.

Please pray for Christian higher education. Many of those serving as Presidents retired during the last few years. Those assuming the responsibility of the role are facing great challenges. We need men and women trained in excellence, academically and spiritually.

A Layman Looks To His Pastor

When asked to speak to a pastors’ conference at a large denominational university I was given the title: “A Layman Looks At The Pastor.” I felt this was judgmental, since scripture tells us not to judge another’s servant. Pastors are the servants of God. Sometimes they forget this and behave like they are servants of the laity.
I changed the title and it made a big difference in the tone and content: A Layman Looks TO His Pastor. This is a personal view of what I have shared with my pastors during the years. It is not inclusive, of course, and not a dissertation on pastoral responsibilities to the church at large.

1) I want my pastor to teach me how to think about God more than just what to think about Him. Plato said the great teachers awaken the teacher within the pupil and then the pupil becomes his own teacher for his entire life. My pastor is not responsible for my spiritual health any more than my doctor is held responsible for my physical health. He is to help and guide me, but I must assume the final responsibility. To transfer that charge to my pastor would be wrong.

2) I would like for my pastor to be my spiritual dietician, based on my gifts, opportunities, and situation When I go to Mayo, the dietician studies my medical records and recommends specific intake which will optimize my opportunities and health. I have tried different “menus” over the years finding what fits. Currently I emphasize: the awe of God, the understanding and use of prayer, and the presence of the Spirit. I stopped calling my morning time “Devotions” and now speak of it as my “Spiritual feeding time.” This includes the Bible, the ancient saints, and renowned preachers of the past. These six or eight sources provide a balanced diet. Not every day is a spiritual high any more than every meal is a memorable one, yet each is necessary and useful. Hopefully, spiritual feeding produces what Chambers calls “conscious repentance and unconscious holiness.”

I am grateful for the pastoral care of those who were concerned for my development, giving me observations, articles, books, and recommendations, all of which nudged me along the right path.

3) I ask my pastor to remind me he is not my agent tasked with making a better deal with God then I can get. Too often we are tempted to ask the preacher to pray because we think God will listen to Him more than He will to us – that is not scriptural. I want my pastor to tell me it is my responsibility. This is good for the pastor to avoid the temptation of subconsciously believing in substitutionary grace or at least tacitly letting followers believe in it.

This week carefully consider: 1) What do I want my pastor to know? 2) Which of these points stands out as applicable to me? 3) How can I encourage my pastor?

Words of Wisdom: “I stopped calling my morning time ‘Devotions’ and now speak of it as my ‘Spiritual feeding time.’”

Wisdom from the Word: “We proclaim him by instructing and teaching all people with all wisdom so that we may present every person mature in Christ.” (Colossians 1:28 NET Bible)