Weekly Thought – August 9, 2016

Fred’s belief in rhythm was well-known to his friends. He eschewed the philosophy of “every day and every day I am getting better and better.” He held to the belief of seasons and periods which allowed for growth and assimilation. He called them plateaus.

Please continue praying for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute as the two fall events are coming in September and October. Gratitude is certainly felt for those who stand with us.

Pit Stops

Sound development requires a program that provides plateaus in which our information is turned into knowledge through experience and then another climb. Personal growth is not a series of nonstop climbs. Plateaus allow for assimilation before starting the next ascent. Each person has his or her own pattern and must become adept at reading their graph of climbs and plateaus. Those who try to go up too fast either run out of steam or poorly assimilate their experiences. They develop hollow spots.

All of life doesn’t evenly and systematically move through the pattern. From a distance, a graphed line may look like a consistent incline. However, when studied up close, the viewer sees it is a pattern, up, down, and flat places. The macro view often looks different from the micro experience.

We have natural divisions in our life, such as family, career, spirit, finances, emotions, friends, acquaintances, and physical health. A friend of mine who consults with executives on personal development likens these segments of life to subsidiaries of a corporation. Each one “reports” quarterly to the individual who monitors and supervises the performance of each.

I like to think of the divisions as interrelated but distinct in their focus. Clearly, each has its own particular life cycle of climbs and plateaus. Therefore, it is important to track all areas of our life and keep time tables charted for each. As we undertake this exercise, we can measure the condition of each division. I do not attempt to have each area in the same mode. Ideally, each has its season for climbs and plateaus. For example, when one is climbing in one’s career, energy and positive stress are redirected to that subsidiary. To strive with equal energy and focus to each of the other areas hoping for marked climbs is asking for burnout and poor production.

Understanding the syncopation of life’s development rhythm keeps us in sync with progress.

This week consider: 1) What are the major areas of focus for me? 2) Which area of my life is receiving the greatest attention toward climb mode right now? 3) How am I avoiding burnout?

Words of Wisdom: “To strive with equal energy and focus to each of our life areas, hoping for marked climbs in each is asking for burnout and poor production.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For he has spoken somewhere about the seventh day in this way: ‘And God rested on the seventh day from all his works.’”(Hebrews 4:4 NET Bible)

Fred seriously considered the use of his time and energy, especially as his physical condition deteriorated. He carefully weighed each activity, measuring the “emotional output” each required. His wise use of time and resources enabled him to be productive to the very end of his life.

Powered Up

We are always warned by the electric company to avoid overloading the circuits. This is right, although I noticed that I have six plugs on one outlet, there is no potential danger because I only use one thing at a time. Each one alone doesn’t come close to maxing out the circuitry. We get in overload trouble by using more than one or two – that maxes it out.
The same thing happens in our lives. We get overloaded by having too many demanding involvements, emotional experiences, or commitments of time all at once. When we do so, we blow a fuse. It isn’t how many connections you have on a circuit; it is how much potential there is for an overload. Sometimes we can take on multiple activities so long as none of them requires too much or is plugged in simultaneously with too many other demands. When they compete for our energy current, we are in danger.

We draw different amounts of current depending on the emotional output require by any particular commitment. I used to speak to very large audiences, and it took practically no energy because the input was matched by the output. If there had been no positive input, such friendly reactions, laughs, agreements, interest, and so on from the audience, it would have take a great deal more output from me.

The power draw is not static. There are times when it takes much more energy to complete a task or go through an experience. I find my physical and spiritual condition greatly affect the flow. When I try to overreach in a weakened condition, I run out of energy more quickly. And when I am feeling the current strongly, I accomplish the tasks with less energy cost.

You must reach a balance where the amount that you give and the amount that you receive are equivalent – a zero sum game. We burn out when we are not sharing the energy load in the task, whether intellectual, emotional, physical, or spiritual. It is not the number of tasks, but the net energy required that determines the point of overload.

This week think about: 1) What draws power from me? 2) What gives me energy? 3) How do I measure the give and take in order to stay balanced?

Words of Wisdom: “It is not the number of tasks, but the net energy required that determines the point of overload.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now the Lord energized Elijah with power; he tucked his robe into his belt and ran ahead of Ahab all the way to Jezreel.” (1 Kings 18:46 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 26, 2016

Fred’s ability to distill information into memorable wisdom bites. Most people who knew him quickly remember beneficial phrases. He called them “one-liners.” We now call them “Fred Saids.” This week’s thought features one of those well-known pithy statements: ritual versus reality.

Uncovering the Meaning

I recently had an interesting discussion about ritual versus reality, recognizing ritual was originally established to perpetuate reality. However, we humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away. Theologically, this may be a subtle attempt on our part to put ourselves in control of what is actually divine.

When we do this, we feel free to augment the ritual to please ourselves. This way we can make the ritual so elaborate that it becomes what we would want it to be if we were God… not bearing much resemblance to the sandals and seamless robe exemplified by Jesus.

Often I have asked husbands if they still kiss their wives as they leave for work. Almost indignantly, they will say “yes, of course.” I usually then ask them if they have ever considered the difference between the first kiss on the honeymoon, and the one they now give each morning. The first one was probably a pretty mushy one – even a double dip! The husband might have even thought about calling in sick! Now his wife gets a little peck as he hurries through the door on the way to the car. Occasionally, they may even miss, but at least they tried – and the ritual goes on, while the reality suffers.

Then we ask: “Should vacant ritual be discarded?” Not at all. We need, instead, to return the reality to the ritual.

When I was chairman of the Youth for Christ board I asked a young man why they were trying to destroy the traditions of the church with contemporary music and casual dress. He replied, “Mr. Smith, we are not trying to destroy the traditions of the faith, but we’re not willing to perpetuate them without the experience that created them.”

Excellent answer and well said. Let’s uncover the ritual to discover the reality.

This week think about: 1) What rituals have I bought into and lost the reality? 2) How can I bring more meaning to my daily activities? 3) When does status quo hinder fellowship?

Words of Wisdom: “We humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be careful not to allow anyone to captivate you through an empty, deceitful philosophy that is according to human traditions and the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” (Colossians 2:8 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 7, 2016

Fred loved cars. He understood them and treated them with great care. It is not surprising, then, that he used them as an illustration of principles. One of his bucket list items was being “in the pit” at the Indy 500. While working as a consultant for Mobil he enjoyed fulfilling this wish and meeting Sam Hanks.

Thank you for your interest in our campus work. Keep praying for us. And sign up for the BWFLI Prayer Network as we lift up specific requests monthly.

Avoiding the Up and Down

So many people live their emotional life like a yo-yo, going from high to low and back again. A Sufi parable alleges that a powerful king challenged his wise men to create a ring for him that would bring stability to his reign. The sages put their heads together and came back with a gold ring engraved with the phrase, “This, too, shall pass.” We need to realize that this motto applies to all of us, as well. When our children were young, Mary Alice often repeated those words when some teenage trauma seemed to bring total disaster.

As we mature, we learn to lengthen our emotional wheelbase. We take the bumps with less jolting. I often tell people to think of themselves as a Rolls Royce limo, rather than a VW bug. When you go over the bumps almost simultaneously the jarring is far greater than having a period (however short) of recovery before hitting the bump again. Our grandchildren perfectly illustrate this. One minute they are smiling and the next they are crying when something doesn’t go their way. Soon that moment is forgotten and they are happy again. That is a bumpy ride for their parents.

This realization brings equilibrium to our life. I find pessimists extrapolate the bad too far into life and the hyper optimist extrapolates good too far. Time and opportunity change conditions, so that Smith’s maxim says, “Extrapolate objectively.”

Whatever our condition, we need to keep in focus what we are trying to accomplish. An aim without a target is worthless. Part of keeping focus is to keep the machinery well oiled. To me, this means developing a sense of humor. I see some people running around with excessive heat who are doing damage to the engine simply because they don’t have that little shot of oil which dissipates the heat. I am convinced there is no better lubricant for life than a sense of humor.

Yo-yos are good for children and for friends like Bunny Martin who as the Duncan World Champion traveled the world. But yo-yo lives are not productive for most adults. In fact, they make even the most sure-footed sea sick.

This week think about: 1) What situations put me behind the wheel of a very small car? 2) How am I practicing the art of extrapolating objectively? 3) How do I keep my sense of humor well oiled?

Words of Wisdom: “As we mature, we learn to lengthen our emotional wheelbase.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 8, 2016

Fred was never without paper and pen. He was constantly thinking, processing, analyzing, and jotting. Thousands of these thoughts ended up on 3 x 5 cards sorted according to topic. He thoroughly enjoyed taking a topic and trying to exhaust it by following logical trains of thought.

Thank you for responding to the invitation to join our Prayer Network. Please come pray with us for Christian higher education.

Emotional Stability

* The present is more than a down payment on the future – it is part of the future and should be as you would like the future to be. If you are sincere in wanting the future to be different then you prove it by making today different.

* The best solution for many of our problems is to simply outgrow them.

* Sometimes the only antidote for fear or pessimism is to do something outrageously optimistic.

* Some people become isolated because they have a fear of random events which they might not be able to handle.

* Not everyone is willing to go through the pain of being cured.

* People have a potential for happiness as they have a potential for greatness, but often they are not attained because discipline is lacking.

* Those who are surveyed as to happiness show that the happiest are those who are less guilty and more conscious of love. All the other things seem to be less significant.

* A happy life includes commitment and involvement. The more involved a person is the greater his capacity for pleasure, but also for pain.

* Those who pride themselves on their hardness of heart are emotional cowards.

* Mental health professionals can isolate the factors that go into happiness, but they cannot always come up with the recipe with the correct elements and proportions for its development. The recipe for happiness varies from person to person.

Think about this week: 1) What makes me happy? 2) How do I define emotional stability? 3) When do I experience commitment and involvement?

Words of Wisdom: “The best solution for many of our problems is to simply outgrow them.”

Wisdom from the Word: “As your words came to me I drank them in, and they filled my heart with joy and happiness because I belong to you, O Lord, the God who rules over all.” (Jeremiah 15:16 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – January 12, 2016

Fred’s ability to ask himself questions with toughness and objectivity set him apart from most others. He regularly assessed his progress. He didn’t trust the idea of achieving integrity then putting himself on “auto pilot.” He took his emotional, spiritual, and intellectual temperature to maintain accuracy.

Asking Questions

Here are a few questions I use in a personal search for integrity:

1) Do my motives have integrity? Rationalization does more to pollute integrity of motive than any other factor. Ends never justify illegal, unjust, or unethical means.

2) Am I ego-driven or responsibility motivated? Ego-driven people satisfy their ego from the cause while responsibility motivated people sacrifice their ego to the cause.

3) Do I want the truth? It takes a tough mind and a strong heart to love truth. Integrity demands trying to know and love truth for its own sake.

4) Does my will control my feelings? Leadership demands a strong will, not a selfish or stubborn will. It demands a will that does what needs doing. By our will we overcome our yen for pleasure and our satisfaction with mediocrity.

5) What is my source of joy? Hope expresses itself in joy. My personal definition of joy is “adequacy.” The struggle is finding true security and complete adequacy in authentic, not synthetic sources.

6) Is my passion focused? Passion brings purpose, unity, intensity, and concentration, assuring accomplishment. Passion gives depth, keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity. Our lives become a welder’s torch rather than a grass fire.

7) How grateful am I? Integrity in leadership demands gratitude. Gratitude exposes our vulnerability and our dependence on others.

8) Am I the pump or the pipe? God is the pump and I am the pipe. The pipe never gets tired. When I try to substitute my power for God’s, I become powerless, dissatisfied, even frantic, and depressed.

9) Is grace real for me? When I refuse grace, I am playing God and trying to punish myself. Grace brings freedom. If only we accept the gift, we face the failure and move on.

This week think about: 1) Which question hits home in my own measure of integrity? 2) How can I use these questions to benefit others? 3) Which question created a surprise?

Words of Wisdom: “The struggle is finding true security and complete adequacy in authentic, not synthetic sources.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Majestic splendor emanates from him; he is the source of strength and joy.” (1 Chronicles 16:27 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 13, 2015

Fred valued the gifts of others. He spent time thinking about his friends and colleagues, considering ways to grow them – or as he said, “stretch others.” He understood his own gifts, but was not concerned with his own ego-centered footprint.

The BWFLI Prayer Network is beginning this month. Our single purpose is to lift up Christian institutions of higher education. We commit to be gap-standers holding them up before our Father God. If you want to join this group, receiving monthly emails please send your name and email address to brenda@bwfli.com

Ego Capital

Folk singer Joan Baez talked on television about American friends who had too much “psychological investment” in socialism to be able to criticize any left-leaning government, no matter how cruel.

Each group finds themselves invested so deeply they are committed often to a logical fault. Many a capitalist is obviously corrupted by wealth – by investment in that system. The intellectual gets corrupted by Marxism or Liberalism or Secular Humanism. The years spent acquiring the knowledge becomes personal, portable property. Each becomes protective of a position where notoriety has been gained. We become immovable at times because our egos are invested.

Sadly, we can confuse our personal interests with the objective truth.

I was once so unkind as to ask a doctors’ group what their reaction would be to a universal pill capable of curing all diseases without any bad side effects. Some laughed. Others questioned the practicality. But others suggested it should be researched until after their retirement. They had a great deal of ego invested in the current system.

I am convinced many leaders hold to thinking which is counterproductive for their organizations because it embodies their ideas, their methodologies, and their histories.

When asked to consult in business conflicts my first statement is “Follow the egos.” Undoubtedly, this will lead to the source of the trouble. I am not suggesting this results in resolution, but it does uncover the headwaters of the quarrel.

Ego, like stress, can be positive and negative. Certainly nothing is accomplished without the clear sense of self. But the pollution of the purpose by the desire for personal gain corrupts. A leader must know his/her gifts and operate from strength. But the true leader disciplines the ego, using the gifts to guide the organization.

This week think about: 1) Where am I allowing my ego to throw me off track? 2) How can I look at myself objectively? 3) What does a disciplined ego look like?

Words of Wisdom: “When asked to consult in business conflicts my first statement is ‘Follow the egos.’”

Wisdom from the Word: “For by the grace given to me I say to every one of you not to think more highly of yourself than you ought to think, but to think with sober discernment, as God has distributed to each of you a measure of faith.” (Romans 12:3 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 28, 2015

Fred spoke to singles’ retreats and sometimes received unusual requests. After one presentation a woman came up and waited patiently while others spoke to him. Finally, her turn came and she simply said, “I need you to find me a husband.” “Pardon, me, ma’am, but we have never met so why do you think I am to do this?” “I was told older men have the responsibility to find proper men for single women… and you are old.” He graciously declined. His practical wisdom helped many singles throughout the country. This 2002 article gives an insight into his thinking.

The Stress of Singleness

Mary Alice and I will be married 66 years June 25, 2003. We haven’t been single for a long time, but I have been asked a lot throughout my life to speak to singles groups. Here are a few of the common stressors.

1) Time pressures – too many confuse the fast track and the frantic track. But what a significant difference there is! I believe in the energy and excitement of the former, but distrust and deny the latter. Unfortunately, some singles equate inactivity with loss of inclusion. They say “yes” to every invitation seeking belongingness. And, singles just pushed by time when others assume they are available “because they don’t have families at home.”

2) Peer pressures – the stress of adolescent peer pressure should lessen as we age, but I see too many who still fall into the trap of giving too much control away. When they let others set their direction, goals, and definition of accomplishment, they open the door to unhealthy stresses. There are no age limits (or even marital status) which keep us from looking to others for approval, but I see many singles who put too much emphasis on the acceptance of friends and colleagues. Because of this stress, it is critical to carefully analyze and appraise those who are influencers.

3)Money – I notice when I talk with singles groups I find a particular weakness for advertising claims…and it eats them up. Madison Avenue invests big bucks to reach this particular demographic. Sporting activities are a prime example. Have you ever considered how much it costs to “look like a golfer? Tennis player? Bike rider?” No one just takes up a hobby without all the proper accoutrements. Living the lifestyle often squeezes singles into a tough spot which creates debt and stress. A plan and financial strategy are necessary elements in anyone’s life, but particularly for those who are targeted for impulse and emotional buying.

4) Relationships – Developing healthy relationships can be difficult. Many times when I speak to groups I find informal discussions coming around to the loneliness of singleness. Finding people to trust isn’t easy. Growing in a spiritual relationship doesn’t come more readily just because there is no spouse and children to consider. Being single doesn’t automatically create spiritual depth. The stress of being Mother Teresa or Apostle Paul can lay heavy on single shoulders.

God calls each of us to our own walk. Whether married or single, our focus is to be on Him and in Him. He is the answer to the stresses. He gives the peace. He moves us toward maturity.

This week think carefully about: 1) How can I serve those who are single? 2) What does singleness mean in the Christian community? 3) Who is struggling with loneliness as well as aloneness?

Words of Wisdom: “Money is a tool, not an idol. It gives option. It is a stewardship.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs him down, but an encouraging word brings him joy.” (Proverbs 12:25 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – May 19, 2015

Fred thoroughly enjoyed challenges. He moved a refrigerator by himself once just to see if he could figure out the principles of leveraging. He accepted mental experiments, as well. In his later years when he was bed-bound, he stayed awake all night thinking of punch lines to jokes. At 2:00am, he finally fell asleep.

Your ongoing support and encouragement mean much to us. We gratefully accept the challenge to bring you bite-sized portions of Fred’s wisdom week by week. Please pray for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute teams as they begin their preparation for the 2016 schedule.

Tongue Management

Historians credit the discovery of fire as one of the most critical for civilization. Its positive properties are many, but unmanaged it is destructive. Scripture refers to the tongue as similar to fire. Management of this organ starts with the heart. Our speech comes from our inner thoughts and desires.
For the tongue to have freedom, the spirit must have purity. It must be purged of ego, greed, hostility. The poisonous word comes from the toxic heart.

Years ago I was asked to be interim music director for a small church in suburban Nashville. When I agreed, the pastor asked me to sign a covenant stating I would not criticize anyone while I was there. I agreed to do it almost as an experiment, for it was so contrary to my general disposition. After a few months I realized I never felt more community than I did there. As I look back, I realize it was the fact of refusing to say anything negative about anyone that made the difference. I could face any person there with complete freedom because I had never said a hurtful word about anyone.

The Wrong Question

How tired I get of hearing people question the goodness of God by saying, “How could a loving God let my dear one die with cancer?” Disease came with the fall, not the callousness of God. The question is, “What evil did we bring on ourselves when Adam and Eve sinned?” We live in a fallen world bearing the consequences of disease, disastrous choices, and disabling habits. To question the character of God because we either don’t understand or don’t accept is immature thinking. We can struggle with the outcomes, but we must correctly ask the questions. Too seldom do I hear Satan blamed. He has become the practitioner of transference, ascribing to God his nefarious activities. Out eternal enemy is Satan but he, like some of our political leaders, is a great spinmeister and gets us to perceive either God or other believers as our enemy. The question we must always be asking is, “How can we know God for who He is?”

This week think about: 1) How well do I manage my tongue? Do “tongues of fire” defeat me more than I like? 2) What would a week without a critical remark look like? 3) What am I learning about the nature of God right now?

Words of Wisdom: “For the tongue to have freedom, the spirit must have purity. It must be purged of ego, greed, hostility. The poisonous word comes from the toxic heart.”

Wisdom from the Word: “If someone thinks he is religious yet does not bridle his tongue, and so deceives his heart, his religion is futile.” (James 1:26 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 28, 2015

Fred enjoyed taking an idea and chasing it down. As we enter into his “blogosphere” with his mini-essays, we get a glimpse of this mental exercise. Golf was one of his great loves, so inspiration from this sport is very natural.

We appreciate all who are part of the BWF community. Your interest, your encouragement, and your support are gratefully received.

Political Positioning

To place an individual in a position outside his gift for political purposes is leadership prostitution.
God has endowed each person with gift that will glorify Himself. When we use the person for our own political security without regard for their gifting we are taking something that should be honoring God and taking it for our own benefit.

I refuse to work outside my gift even though I have received a great deal of pressure to assume work expectations out of loyalty to my friend, the leader.

I have listened to many Sunday School teachers who definitely lacked the gift of teaching. They were organizational loyalists and caved into the pleadings of a friend who needed to fill the teaching roster. Sadly, even religious associations promote some to leadership out of expediency or “they deserved it” thinking. When they have none of the gifts necessary they either flail or fail. Or, they carry the title and someone else does the work. (more…)