Decide Well

Weekly Thought – January 3, 2017

Fred commented on New Year’s Resolutions: “They are usually last year’s regrets.” He was a proponent of healthy decision making, not emotional short-term reactions.

2017 is a year of promise for BWF. In addition to three campus events, we will be planning for a conference in 2018 titled “What’s Next.” More details will follow. Please pray for us as we start quickly with leadership institutes in February and April.

Decide Well

Our life is a network of decisions. A few are vital, but many more are more mundane. For example, the choice of a spouse and the decision to have children are two of the most critical, long-ranging. Buying a new suit is shorter term and less important – unless it results in a major fashion faux pas! And I have personal experience with this. A waitress once welcomed me to breakfast in a familiar place with a smile and, “Good morning, Mr. Smith, I see you dressed yourself today!”

Decision making is both an art and a science. I have known men and women who have the intuition for excellent decisions. They usually have the capacity to both see problems and solution possibilities. Charles Kettering, the automotive genius, once said, “A problem well-defined is half solved.” Other friends have said, “Knowing the options is the secret of good decision making.”

Executive and cabinet leader Robert McNamara had a regular management practice. Before he would accept a recommendation he would ask, “What other options did you reject before you chose this one?” When the answer was a sheepish admission that this was the first option, they would be sent back to reconsider and bring other options.

In order to pick the best option, you must know what the object of the decision is. Is this decision to solve a problem or open up a possibility? A key element of good decision making is recognizing the reality of the environment. I work to set aside all but the facts of the situation. When I have moved away all the emotional factors I can look rationally at the work that needs to be done. Too many people consider what they wish the situation were, what they hope it will be, without holding to the reality of what is.

Then I think through the ramifications of each option, as unemotionally as possible. I want to consider how each possibility would be implemented and executed. To make a decision without understanding the implications is poor leadership. So, I travel down the road with each option looking for potholes, faulty assumptions, and undesired outcomes. Good decision making is a satisfactory experience and worth the effort.

When this isn’t done, policies can be put in place which end up very ineffective, making management look weak. A good decision is structurally sound and effectively executed.

This week carefully consider: 1) What decision needs to be made this week? 2) How do I connect faith and decision making? 3) Who models good decision making?

Words of Wisdom: “Too many people consider what they wish the situation were, what they hope it will be, without holding to the reality of what is.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you decide on a matter, it will be established for you, and light will shine on your ways.” (Job 22:28 NET Bible)

Life Blood

Weekly Thought – December 27, 2016

Fred did not trumpet his good deeds. He believed in quiet philanthropy and giving without fanfare. He gave to operations because “nobody likes to give to paperclips, but organizations need them.” He was generous in his giving and supported many without any thought of a charitable deduction.

Thank you for partnering with BWF this year. We appreciate your prayer encouragement, and your financial gifts. We look forward to another year of stretching and blessing.

Life Blood

Sometimes you keep stories to yourself because they are very personal. Sometimes the deep satisfaction that they reflect keeps them private. This is a story out of my early manhood I have never told before, simply because it was very personal and a very satisfying experience. It didn’t need any broadcasting.

When I was a young man in this life insurance business I went into a lawyer’s office where he and his daughter practiced together. As I spoke to them, they were obviously upset and asked me what my blood type was. Although it was a strange question, I knew that they earnestly needed my answer. When I told him he said, “That is exactly what we need.” And then he continued, “My brother is dying in St. Thomas Hospital (in Nashville, TN) and must have blood immediately. Will you give him some of yours?” I happily agreed.

We got into the car and headed straight for the hospital. Without doing anything other than taking off my coat, I stretched out on a cot beside the man. They transferred the blood directly from me to him because his need was that great. He lived and was very grateful for the transfusion. He wanted to pay me, but I told him his gratitude and his survival were thanks enough. Financial payment would be inappropriate.

I never saw him again but the experience produced total satisfaction.

When our souls were in need of a donation for our salvation, Christ shed His blood. When our souls were perishing, Christ provided a way for eternal lie. Christ gave us something that we cannot buy – we can only receive it by faith… namely, His grace. “Would you be free from the burden of sin? There’s power in the blood.”

This week think about: 1) How sensitive am I to needs of those around me? 2) What triggers my desire to give? 3) Who needs to hear about the life-giving blood of Jesus?

Words of Wisdom: “When our souls were in need of a donation for our salvation, Christ shed His blood.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not withhold good from those who need it, when you have the ability to help.” (Proverbs 3:27 NET Bible)

Viewing Our Values

Weekly Thought – December 20, 2016

Fred and Mary Alice grew up in the depression. Their Christmases were very lean, particularly Mary Alice’s. As they raised their family, the idea of lavishing their children with luxurious gifts didn’t enter their minds. They wanted the children to appreciate a life that didn’t lead to extreme materialism. They wanted them to understand what a healthy life meant. Merry Christmas to you from BWF Project, Inc.

Viewing Our Values

The simple life is balanced. It is not necessarily devoid of tensions, but they are held in healthy tension. The wife of my good friend John Bullock used to say that she always wanted him to have two irritations at a time because, while having one drove him crazy, with two he could oscillate between them and keep his balance. She was a wise woman.

If our core values were manifested physically, we could see the grotesqueness of imbalance. Years ago I saw a man with elephantitis. It was hard not to notice his distorted features. I started thinking about the impact on people if we wore our value systems externally and others could see a tangible representation of who we are internally. What would a man given over to greed look like? How difficult would it be for others to look past the deformed extremity? How would your value system appear? What deformities would exist?

Great sculpture has to be balanced. Skilled artists can look at a mass of stone or clay, and see where the center of gravity is – where the balance exists. A mistake can result in destruction of that balance – and artistic disaster. Purpose is shown through the balanced life, just as the purpose of the artist’s material is displayed through his perfected work.

Remember the great story of the statue of David? When Michelangelo was asked how he carved such a splendid work out of the massive piece of marble, he replied, “Simple. I just cut away everything that wasn’t David.” A simple life has cut away everything that isn’t real to reveal true purpose. It is beautiful because it is in balance.

Think about: 1) How am I ensuring my life is in balance? 2) Where are my value distortions? 3) What is a good values focus for 2017?

Words of Wisdom: “If our core values were manifested physically, we could see the grotesqueness of imbalance.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Then he looked at wisdom and assessed its value; he established it and examined it closely.” (Job 28:27 NET Bible)

Who’s Calling

Weekly Thought – December 13, 2016

Fred respected clarity. He thoroughly enjoyed listening to people with “immaculate vocabularies.” He lived wanting to use his gifts effectively and productively. To do this required understanding and application.

Thank you for praying with us for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute. We are an intergenerational ministry of conversation and connection. We serve Christian higher education by stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God. Your end of year financial gifts to continue our work are sincerely appreciated and well used.

Who’s Calling

There is a difference between a mandate and a call. A call is personal – it comes to the individual. A mandate is collective. While a call is an individual’s reason for service, a mandate is an organization’s reason for being.

A leader needs to have a sense of call to serve effectively. Prison evangelist and former All-Pro football player Bill Glass emphasizes this when training his prison counselors. He says, “You have volunteered to be a counselor, but you have dedicated your life to personify Christ in this prison.” He goes through a litany of experiences that a volunteer might find offensive and off-putting. But he knows the true volunteer will hang in, despite the possibility of being uncomfortable. The call is greater than convenience.

A call might change. A person might sense a calling to a different organization or a different form of service. Sometimes I think the call may actually lead someone out of the ministry. Recently, I talked with a pastor in Iowa whose primary ministry was Bible teaching. I asked him how he was doing, and he admitted he was unhappy. So were his people. I asked him, “What is your true love?”

“Winning people to Christ,” was his answer. “In your saint-saturated congregation, there is nobody who hasn’t responded to the gospel. And whenever you get up to teach, you don’t see a single soul who needs the message of salvation. You are by nature an evangelist. Have you considered leaving the pastoral ministry?”

“What did you do before surrendering to preach?” “I sold cars and I loved it because I got to tell people about Jesus. I loved it. But people around me said I would be a good preacher and my wife wanted to be the wife of a pastor, so here I am.”

He allowed church pressure and his ego to get in the way, and he ended up in the pastorate… and in the slough of despond as John Bunyan described it.

When I checked back he had graciously resigned, gone back to sales and enjoying his evangelistic opportunities. He misunderstood the nature of the call and stepped into a place for which he was ill-designed.
His heart to win people to Jesus did not match the mandate of the organization he served, so he altered the call. Now he has harmony.

This week think about: 1) How clear is my call? 2) What is the mandate of the organization I serve? 3) Who needs me to help them clarify their call?

Words of Wisdom: “A leader needs to have a sense of call to serve effectively.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The Lord came and stood there, calling as at the other times, ‘Samuel! Samuel!’ Then Samuel said, ‘Speak, for your servant is listening.’” (1 Samuel 3:10 NET Bible)

Knowing People

Weekly Thought – December 6, 2016

Fred’s discernment enabled him to consult effectively, mentor wisely, and contribute thoughtfully. His ability to study people allowed him to grasp situations quickly. It also gave him the clarity to ask insightful questions.

The Breakfast with Fred Leadership Institute is actively planning for 2017. The February event at LeTourneau University as well as the April trip to Greenville College are both in high gear. Please pray for the teams and the schools. Pray for the glory of God to shine brightly.

Knowing People

Here are three simple things I have learned about people:

1) I have learned that I waste time in trying to correct other people’s mistakes and helping them become stronger in their soft spots. I should use the time to utilize their strengths and buttress their weaknesses. A lot of training program I have seen are geared to overcoming deficiencies – what a waste of time!

2) I have learned that you can’t change anybody else. Each person has to change himself or herself – you can’t do it for them. You can set up pressures or you can be there to encourage, but action can’t be taken for another. You might even create fear that will cause a temporary change but nothing permanent. We spend too much time affecting short-term behavior thinking we have made long-term alterations. It usually doesn’t take long to see if the change is real or not. If we forced it through artificial and external means, it won’t last. Think about a rubber band which can be stretched to a new shape, but once released will spring back to its original.

3) I have learned that people are the way they are because they want to be that way. I haven’t always believed this. In fact, early in my life I wanted to be a social worker. It didn’t take long for me to become disillusioned. When I recognized the true nature of man and the impact of our choices, I understood the power of personal choice. Now I am totally convinced each of us is the way we are because we want to be. We rationalize and think of all kinds of reasons that this isn’t true but the bottom line is: we choose to be who we are.

When an opportunity for change comes and we don’t take it (out of fear, comfort level, disinterest) we are choosing to stay right where you are. And, neutral is not a normal gear – we either put it in drive or end up in reverse.

When you choose to move through personal challenges, you are opting for growth and becoming who you want to be. One of the key elements of serious growth is a plan. Too often a lack of a plan is a way of rationalizing the unwillingness to change.

Think about this week: 1) What growth pains am I experiencing? 2) How am I evaluating my opportunities for change? 3) Where do I want to grow?

Words of Wisdom: “We spend too much time affecting short-term behavior thinking we have made long-term alterations.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this reason we also, from the day we heard about you, have not ceased praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” (Colossians 1:9 NET Bible)

Into the Father’s Presence

Weekly Thought – November 29, 2016

Fred believed in the power of prayer. He was often asked to offer public prayer because of his speaking skills and his resonant voice. He accepted but often deferred because he shrank away from any hint of performance. Until he was bed-bound, he knelt by their bed nightly. This picture highly influenced his children who saw this strong leader in a posture of total submission.

Into the Father’s Presence

Prayer is both marvelous and mysterious. How marvelous that a sinner saved by grace can at any time commune with the Lord Almighty, creator of heaven and earth. In the night when I awaken and am tempted by frustration, it is so comforting to talk to the Lord about it.

I am not alone in my experience. One of the psychiatrists who helped select the first team of astronauts told me about testing them in absolute isolation to see how much they could endure. He said some could go indefinitely and when they interviewed them they found the “withstanders” were the ones who could pray. If we would only realize our opportunity for direct communication with the Lord, how much more we would do it.

I have found expressing gratitude to God gives me great satisfaction. Surprisingly, I found it increased my self-respect. It is so much better to live with and as a grateful person, rather than as a complainer.

Mysterious is the nature of intercessory prayer. How can my appeal affect God’s action toward another? Yet in scripture we are instructed to pray for one another. Realistically, I would be so frustrated if prayer weren’t an alternative when there is absolutely nothing else I could do for someone. “At least I can pray for you” is often heard. I want to remind them prayer is the MOST they can do for me.

Further, I have never believed that the number praying is the vital point. I just do not think God is swayed by mass numbers. And even more, I do not think God is any more impressed by celebrity prayer than others. I think of those I knew growing up in the mill district of North Nashville who were fervent prayer warriors. Their names were never going to be in lights, but their lives shone with the light of Jesus.

When we say “I am praying for you” we are joining the community of the committed. We are saying “I will meet you in the throne room.” We are together in the marvel and the mystery of the communing with God we call prayer. Keep on praying for one another – it is the source of obedience and joy.

This week think about: 1) How active is my prayer life? 2) What am I specifically talking to God about this week? 3) Who am I joining with at the throne?

Words of Wisdom: “If we would only realize our opportunity for direct communication with the Lord, how much more we would do it.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now, my God, may you be attentive and responsive to the prayers offered in this place.” (2 Chronicles 6:40 NET Bible)

Steadfastness

Weekly Thought – November 22, 2016

Fred was consulting with a manufacturing firm in northern Ohio on November 22, 1963. He drove to Granbury, Ohio where their elder daughter was a student at Denison University. He visited and talked about the implications of the Kennedy death. He returned on Sunday to take her out to lunch with a group of friends. Walking through the lobby of the Holiday Inn in Newark they watched the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald in Dallas. So much changed that weekend, but Fred was there – she could count on him.

Steadfastness

Frankly, I was surprised to find in my study that loyalty is one of the key elements in love. I always thought of spontaneity and extravagance as demonstrations, but now I have to add loyalty. Of course, when I think back on my life I realize how important it truly is, even without recognizing and naming it.

For example, during one of my hospital stays I woke up to see a paper taped to the wall with the letters YTCO printed. One of our granddaughters had made the sign because she knew the story behind them and how much they meant to me. Confederate Cavalry Officer Jeb Stuart always closed his correspondence to General Robert E. Lee with these words, “Yours To Count On.”(YTCO) When I told my family the story, they all adopted it.

Every time I woke up and saw those letters I knew she was saying, “We are with you, Grandfather, and we love you.”

I am a connoisseur of donut shops. I have given them my expert opinion from coast to coast. One time in Grand Saline, TX I was in one of the best. Across from my table sat a rural couple. She was dressed in what I think women call “gingham.” He was dressed in his best “go to town” overalls. He got up to pay, but she didn’t get up. I wondered why. Then he came back and gently, but firmly, picked her up. I then saw she was in a full body brace.

He carried her to their pickup while everyone in the shop watched them through the front window. The waitress turned to me and said, “He took his vows seriously, didn’t he, Mister?” Yes, he did.

When I think about God, His love always comes to mind. God’s love for us is evidenced through his loyalty to us. “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Our names are permanently engraved on the palms of His hand. He takes his covenant seriously.

This week think about: 1) How do loyalty and love work together for me? 2) What behaviors represent loyalty? 3) How loyal am I to those who love me?

Words of Wisdom: “God’s love for us is evidenced through his loyalty to us.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8:38,39 NET Bible)

Money Talk

Weekly Thought – November 15, 2016

Fred often told his children he and Mary Alice were not interested in leaving large sums of money to them. “I don’t want you to expect something that isn’t coming. Your Mother and I want to leave a legacy, not an estate.” Their children learned the value of saving, buying quality, and staying out of debt. Money was never the measure of a person’s value. He appreciated the options it brought, and respected the responsibilities, but never worshipped at the altar of wealth.

Money Talk

The truth about money has been known for a long time. Aristotle called it “barren” – not because it doesn’t bring benefits, but because the emotions it evokes are among the lowest on the hierarchy of values. These feelings don’t measure up to the nobler, finer emotions drawn out by patriotism and faith. The man or women whose greatest emotional energy is reserved for money knows nothing of the higher emotional life.

Money can bring fun – even happiness – but not joy if it is only “money for money’s sake.” It has no intrinsic ability to elevate the intellect or spirit. In fact, the love of gold often blocks the love for all else that is higher and more meaningful. How pale the struggle for wealth becomes when compared to the struggle for freedom, the search for truth, the war for principles, or the fulfillment of the noblest passions.

However, money is one of life’s greatest necessities. To disparage money per se is to demonstrate an ignorance of life and its rules. I often say that I think about money like I think about blood. I make blood to live – I don’t live to make blood. The same thing is true about money for me. I make money to live, but I certainly don’t live to make money.

In my view, money has always represented option. I have been poor and I have been financially comfortable – I prefer the latter. But having money and loving money are poles apart.

The options money make possible are part of its utility. Without it, there are limited choices; with it, choices are opened up. The interesting thing about money and choices is that having many options doesn’t necessarily mean we are capable of always making good choices.

And having money doesn’t necessarily create good character. When someone comments, “Do you know Joe? He’s worth millions!” I always respond: “He may have accumulated millions, but that doesn’t determine his worth.” The stewardship of great wealth requires discipline and the recognition that what you have isn’t the same as who you are.

This week think carefully about: 1) What is my relationship to money? 2) Do I have money or does money have me? 3) How can I use my financial resources to multiply God’s work?

Words of Wisdom: “Having money and loving money are poles apart.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Of what use is money in the hand of a fool, since he has no intention of acquiring wisdom?” (Proverbs 17:16 NET Bible)

Pain and Gain of Tribulation

Weekly Thought – November 8, 2016

Fred read deeply in devotional writing. He appreciated Gratian’s Manual, Practicing the Presence of God, The Seeking Heart, and My Utmost For His Highest, among many others. His copies were heavily noted and annotated with thoughts prompted by these ancient writers. Fred’s long-time and valued friend Harold Myra is currently working on a devotional based on the writings of Brother Lawrence. Fred would have thoroughly enjoyed “thinking on those things.”

The BWFLI schedule for 2016 is completed – with great joy and thanksgiving. Please pray for LeTourneau University and Greenville College which are actively in the planning stages currently for 2017.

Pain and Gain of Tribulation

Until I spent several months on my back, unable to move, I didn’t really appreciate patience. Perhaps I could have given you “three points of managing a patient attitude,” but I didn’t experientially understand. Now I know that true patience reduces unhealthy distress without diminishing healthy stress. Patience brings poise to our life, enabling us to discern between the important and the less important. It gives us tolerance for the point of view of others. Patience promotes meditation. The Scripture confirms the ancient saint’s belief that patience develops character. “Tribulation brings about perseverance and perseverance, proven character, and proven character hope” is the way Paul said it. Here we see that hope is in the direct line of blessing with tribulation and patience.

Brother Lawrence said that he prayed for tribulation in order to become stronger so that he might endure even more tribulation. He saw suffering as “God’s gymnasium.” When you are an A-type personality, everything has to happen quickly. Yet tribulation has its own pace – its own rhythm. I have found patience to be the only antidote for my frustrations, most of which have been seated in my ego. I get irritated because I wanted my own way and at my speed. Today my immobility and total dependence on others have made patience so valuable in avoiding testiness. (My family may think I have more work to do to completely operate with my irenic spirit!)

Tribulation can be either positive or negative. The choice is yours to make and as you want it, so it shall be. A national magazine picked up a phrase I have begun to use: “I am not disabled; I am delightfully dependent.” The “delightful” is my way of being patient.

Patience, like many of our most valued qualities, is slow growing. Patience is an oak tree, not a cornstalk. Patience is available to all of us who are willing to pay the price. It is not an inherited quality that comes in the genes – it is the result of tribulation and our disciplined response.

Sweating it out in God’s gymnasium is hard work, but the Coach knows best.

This week think about: 1) What do I really think about tribulation? 2) How do I adjust my attitude in patience-building circumstances? 3) Who models patience in a healthy way for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Patience is not an inherited quality that comes in the genes – it is the result of tribulation and our disciplined response.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Not only this, but we also rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance, character, and character, hope.” (Romans 5: 3,4 NET Bible)

Keeping the Engine in Gear

Weekly Thought – November 1, 2016

Fred loved cars. Getting to sit in the pit area with the Sam Hanks team was definitely a life thrill. He loved the sound of finely tuned engines. And, he worked diligently to make sure his three children all understood the value of mechanical devices.

Thank you for praying with the BWFLI team at Palm Beach Atlantic University. The conversations and connections were abundant and invigorating. We have men and women of great character being trained to lead.

Keeping the Engine in Gear

During times when we have no great career accomplishments, it is important to have outside achievements. This is the way we re-attach our egos.

I suggested that a friend who was going through a low time after selling his company find personal satisfaction in a non-career arena. Several months later I saw him. To my surprise he had lost 40 pounds. He said, “I took your suggestion and it is working. Not only have I lost the weight that I badly needed to lose, but I’ve also won the doubles tennis championship at the club.” He had rediscovered the joy of achievement.

Every career has its dead spots. Inevitably there are idling times as we hit plateaus on the climb. It is important to remember that we haven’t failed; only our plans have. Rather than letting it throw us off track, we can redirect our productive energies in an avocational direction. We can channel our need for productivity into charitable or ministry outlets. We can develop new skills and broaden our current interests. It is important to acknowledge the importance of useful development.

The lull in the career won’t kill the proper use of ego gratification. It is important, of course, that these ancillary accomplishments do not become an escape, nor that we let our avocation supersede our vocation. The principal idea is to keep experiencing a productive life – which we continue to contribute and know a sense of accomplishment. It is important to keep our engine clean, in good repair, and our gears meshing.

If we miss the opportunity to grow in the plateau, we end up circling round and round without forward progress. The proper use of plateaus can strengthen us as we begin again. When we put ourselves into gear, we can move smoothly down the road.

The productive man or woman recognizes that achievement breeds achievement. Low times give us time to slow down for the next climb. Parking the car in the garage is not the answer. Revving the engine and developing new outlets is the way to go.

This week think about: 1) What is my way to handle the plateaus? 2) How can I help others deal with these times? 3) Who do I know right now that needs this word?

Words of Wisdom: “If we miss the opportunity to grow in the plateau, we end up circling round and round without forward progress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3:12 NET Bible)

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