Weekly Thought – April 3, 2018

Fred always thought beyond the box, not just out of it. When given a subject, he plumbed the depths uncovering content no one expected. A 1983 speech delivered to a Fort Worth, Texas audience in 1983 illustrates this ability. He was asked to do “a stewardship talk” in a church. He did talk about money, but it was the last point of a well-developed and delivered talk. He used the word “relations” rather than “relationships.” Staying true to his voice, we keep the Fredism.

More than Money

The Stewardship of Relations- The early church was known for their relations with each other: “How they love one another.” They were not known for how they grew, or even for a balanced budget. I have long felt that any success the church claims which can be stated numerically approaches being unscriptural. The church and other Christian ministries have borrowed from business the language of figures because it is so much easier than to define it by relations.

I can take an inventory of your assets and give you a precise figure. I cannot take an inventory of your relation with your wife and put it into numerical values. Did you ever hear anybody say, “We have a marriage that is about a 76%?” Once I was foolish enough to try and put a quantitative measure on the morale in our plants. We soon saw how totally impractical that was. Words like healthy, productive, improving versus unhealthy, unproductive, and deteriorating made more sense. I think as Christians measuring ourselves scripturally is the proper approach.

I once spoke to a prestigious church group whose theme was “Leadership for Growth.” It made me think about a great statement I once heard: “It isn’t about his height, but his depth that really matters.”

Before I sound self-righteous I have to tell you I am a new convert to this “relation over production” concept. Until five or six years ago I was almost totally production oriented in my personal life. I certainly hoped for good relations, but they were not primary. I think my executive experience trained me to look for production. The organization was designed and measured quantitatively.

I parented like an executive. For example, I never watched TV with the family. After dinner I would go into my study to “get some work done.” I would hear them laughing and a few times during the evening I found it necessary to walk through the house, passing in between the family and the television, making remarks about people who wasted time. Of course, they ignored my barbs and went right on enjoying their program. I didn’t improve the production, but I certainly impeded the relations.

My son Fred helped me change my approach. I will tell you about that another time. It has been exciting at times and at others frustrating to rethink how I live in relation to my family, but it has been the most valuable shift I have ever made. I still don’t sit and watch TV, but I don’t make snide remarks, either. Progress!

This week think carefully about: 1) How am I doing in building and developing relationships? 2) When do I fall into attempting to measure impact and influence only by metrics? 3) Which relationships need tending this week?

Words of Wisdom: “The church and other Christian ministries have borrowed from business the language of figures because it is so much easier than to define it by relations.”

Wisdom from the Word: “They help one another; one says to the other, ‘Be strong!’” (Isaiah 41:6 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 27, 2018

Fred chose to have his annual physicals at Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, because his long-time physician and friend practiced there. An extra bonus were the evenings spent in the doctor’s home with others for exciting conversation. He returned home in high spirits. When he required surgery, he returned to Mayo knowing their skill and the opportunity to recover in that environment.

We are continuing this week with several of the ideas he put together as interesting thoughts to start the mental engine in the morning with his coffee.

Morning Mental Jolts

1) Beware of the Exception – We have to be careful not to be caught up by the exceptions. I remember reading as a child of a man who picked up a page out of the Bible blowing down the street and became a Christian. That doesn’t mean that every windy day in Dallas we should rip pages out of our Bibles and throw them into the street as an evangelistic strategy. Many get rich quick schemes are built on the belief that we can be the exception – that we don’t have to follow the ordinary rules of wealth accumulation. Thinking of ourselves as an exception is dangerous and foolish.

2) Asking for Advice – When asking someone to help you make a decision never assume they will see the situation as you do. Avoid an opening statement such as “This is terrible – I don’t see any way out – you probably won’t have an answer for me.” Just state the facts with an air of optimism to give the other person confidence. And a key to asking advice: don’t give your opinion unless they ask for it.

3) Heroes – Heroes are not necessarily people without weaknesses, but are most often people who have overcome weaknesses and difficulties to accomplish great things. If our heroes are public figures we should guard against letting the media destroy them by exposing their weaknesses in a tabloid way. Instead, we should continually look to their achievements in light and in spite oftentimes, of their weaknesses. We are not looking for god-like figures – there is only One.

4) Transition – Many people lose the process of transition, making them less effective than they could be. Transition always follows three steps: 1) Letting loose of the past; 2) Entering into the neutral zone when one is between trapezes; and 3) adapting and accepting the new. We often fail to proceed to stage three because we are afraid of the release in the neutral zone. Even worse, we realize we are still carrying the past on the trapeze with us, making a clean and successful shift uneasy.

This week think about: 1) How well do I make transitions? 2) When I ask for advice how hard is it for me to avoid giving my unsought opinion? 3) Who is trying to live as an exception and could benefit from Fred’s quick thought?

Words of Wisdom: “Just state the facts with an air of optimism to give the other person confidence. And a key to asking advice: don’t give your opinion unless they ask for it.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And do everything in a decent and orderly manner.” (1 Corinthians 14:40 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 20, 2018

Fred’s answer to “what are you thinking about?” was never “nothing.” He thought constantly and consistently. He made lists of ideas, prayer items, and future projects. Life without thought was inconceivable to him. Therefore, when he gathered 17 pages of “daily warm-ups for the race of life,” it was a practical exercise. Here are several more quick thoughts which Fred used as conversation starters.

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Stretching Out Before the Race

1) Corroded Connections. The cares of life often corrode our connections with other people. Hate, spite, revenge, and pettiness cause spiritual corrosion. The other day I noticed that one of the headlights was out on one of our daughters’ cars. I looked at the fuse and saw that it was intact, but noticed some corrosion on the connection. I cleaned it and the light came on. Corrosion had interfered with the current. Harmony and goodwill are more than just pleasantries in the environment, they are vital to our spiritual connection.

2) The Power of Passion. Martin Jurow, the movie producer, told an interviewer that the thing that makes the difference is passion. This works even in a negative context. For example, the dictator Juan Peron said, “Only the fanatics accomplish.” I do not advocate hurtful, hateful passion. But I do believe the idea of balance may be oversold. Those who accomplish greatly do not give equal attention to all areas. A good question always to ask is, “What are you passionate about?”

3) Bridges. How foolish it would be to believe that a bridge would hold whatever load you put on it. Bridges are designed and built for load limits. Similarly, our moral strength won’t be whatever we want it to be, but what we train and build into our character. Therefore, to put ourselves into situations which exceed our moral load limits is unwise and unhealthy.

4) Talented Humility. To me, Pavarotti is a truly humble person. By that I mean he sees his talent as a gift and refers to it as “She.” When someone asked him when he would quit singing he said, “She will tell me.’ By taking the talent which he has and holding it like a Tiffany setting holds a shining diamond, he can be humble toward other people without disparaging his own exceptional gift.

5) Life and Death. In the Christian life there are two principles at work. One is the principle of life which comes at the new birth. The other is the principle of death, which is the old nature as it dies away. The new man of the Spirit is to increase and the old man of the flesh is to decrease.

This week think about: 1) How can I use these quick thought starters in my family, business, and church life? 2) What shows me my new nature is growing and my old nature is diminishing? 3) Who can I engage in meaningful, stimulating conversation this week?

Words of Wisdom: “To put ourselves in situations which exceed our moral load limits is unwise and unhealthy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Seek the Lord and the strength he gives! Seek his presence continually!” (1 Chronicles 16:11 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 13, 2018

Fred’s ability to fashion a principle-based thought from everyday experiences distinguished him from others. His writings gathered into “daily warm-ups for the race of life” demonstrated his appreciation of quick thoughts which would stimulate conversation.

BWFLI update: Please pray for the two April events at Alice Lloyd College (April 6,7) and Lindsey Wilson College (April 27,28). Your consistent encouragement is appreciated and felt by all.

Warm-ups for Healthy Living

How much I enjoy conversation which starts with an idea and then fires up into something beneficial for all engaged. Here are a few suggestions which might be enjoyable starts:

1) Power. Power is the ability to get things done. It is active, not passive. A thought may be powerful but its power comes from the action it evokes, not just in mental stimulation. We hear about power seats, power ties, and power drinks. But none of them is really power – they are simply images of power and shadows of reality. True power gets things done.

2) Envy or Contempt. Once in a business conference I became a little uncharacteristically pompous, possibly even self-righteous, and one of the other executives with a keen sense of humor said, “Smith, speaking as an outsider, what do you think of the human race?” We may feel that we are stirring up envy when we are really stirring up contempt.

3) Helpful Eavesdropping. Yogi Berra was reported to have said, “You can hear a lot by listening.” I have learned many helpful things over the years by innocent eavesdropping. I was sitting in the Lobby of the Gibson Hotel in Cincinnati listening to two women talking. One was an older lady; the other younger. When the younger asked the older a question I was interested to know the answer. “If you had your life to live over, what would you do with yourself?” The older woman didn’t hesitate but responded quickly, “I would find something big enough to give myself to.”

4) Keeping Your Concentration. One of the in a college basketball game made a particularly good shot and grinned at the crowd. The commentator said to his radio audience, “It’s too early to smile, there is too much game left.” In the Winter Olympic Games, a U.S. figure skater made the difficult jumps and then fell on a very easy maneuver late in his performance. The commentator said “He relaxed too much. He assumed he had done the hard things and the easy things would take care of themselves.” We must concentrate right up to the end.

This week think about: 1) When did I lose my concentration and it caused a fall? 2) How would I answer the older woman’s question? 3) What symbols of power have I substituted for power that gets things done?

Words of Wisdom: “True power gets things done.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NET Bible)