Weekly Thought – October 10, 2017

Fred answered these mentoring questions as a website exercise. He didn’t spend days or months preparing and crafting answers. He demonstrated his own principle: “speak from the overflow.” His disciplined thought life enabled him to engage in this activity because his life was preparation.

BWFLI will be initiating our Mentoring Roundtables in 2018. These questions will be foundational to a curriculum consisting additionally of articles, Fred Saids, You and Your Network, and conversation starters. Continue praying for us as we firm up our schedule, team members, and materials.

What Are You Thinking?

(The AM/PM group asked Fred to capture some of the mentoring questions they discussed monthly. Later on, the BWF Project asked him to give his thumbnail answers to them. Fred had no preparation – these are his top of mind responses while lying in his hospital bed.)

1) Do I put people in my life who personify desirable traits? I have found personifying desirable traits a valuable tool. Early in my business life I picked out six traits I thought would be helpful. I found six individuals who personified each of them. I hung a picture of these six on my office wall. I hung a picture of Christ at the top with a mirror for me to reflect my own image at the bottom. You should be looking for people who exemplify positive traits. For example, I had one picture of a man who personified graciousness; and another intellectual integrity. I found I could sit in front of these pictures and evaluate my growth in these areas. I think it was helpful for these men to know what their picture meant to me.

2) What are bad habits that may be building into reflexes? I have made a list of bad habits that I should try and eliminate. Some are temper, financial irresponsibility, cynicism, untruthfulness among others. I have to remember that unless it is prominent enough to be destructive, I don’t make it a primary concern. One that needs to be monitored and managed is the desire to be liked by my peers.

3) Do I have a friendly critic and what are their qualifications and responsibilities? I am more concerned that a critic is truthful than their being friendly. I imagine I used the word “friendly” to mean objective and interested in my development. Anytime I am criticized I should ask if the criticism is true. This is difficult since we tend to demean our critics. I like the old adage: “My critics are the guardians of my soul.” Be sure that any critic is skilled in the area of their criticism. I believe Proverbs indicates that a genuine, skilled critic will be more helpful than one who flatters you. One of my most successful friends says “I will accept no criticism from anyone who does not have something to gain from my success.”

4) How do I promote constructive criticism? Appreciation of valid criticism and changing as a result of it is generally enough to create another’s freedom to offer constructive observations.

5) To whom am I really accountable? I am only accountable to those who are expert enough to be helpful. Generally, we should be accountable to an outside source rather than ourselves. If we declare ourselves to be the only authority we have a great tendency to make exceptions favoring our behavior.

This week consider these: 1) What analysis have I done to identify my strengths and weaknesses? 2) Who are the people who personify the traits I consider important to my personal development? 3) If I chose six characteristics, what would they be?

Words of Wisdom: “Be sure that any critic is skilled in their area of criticism.”

Wisdom from the Word: “With God are wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his.” (Job 12:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 3, 2017

Fred would agree with our Christian higher educational leaders who value character as the foundation of a God-honoring life. Many of the questions Fred asked explored personal integrity.

Ideas to Ponder

(The AM/PM group asked Fred to capture some of the mentoring questions they discussed monthly. Later on, the BWF Project asked him to give his thumbnail answers to them. Fred had no preparation – these are his top of mind responses while lying in his hospital bed.)

1) Am I a follower as well as a leader? Until we follow well we certainly cannot be effective leaders. I have never wanted a leader who had not had successful experience in following. In fact, seldom in life do we have complete and sole responsibilities for leadership only. Someone well disciplined in following understands well the principles in leadership. For example, in sports the quarterback follows the coach but leads the team.

2) What are the key relationships in my life? We need to relate well to our immediate family and honor our parents. We also need to commit to the relationships with worthwhile friends because they can be a lifetime asset. It is also healthy to develop good relations with our role models and our mentors. And of course, our spiritual relationship is primary and foundational.

3) Can I define my philosophy of life? Our philosophy, like our character, is the source of most of our important decisions. A good philosophy will make you useful. I have often said a right philosophy of life will see you successfully into the grave while a right theology will you successfully through the grave. To me a correct philosophy is one of stewardship not ownership. The Scripture says we have nothing but what we have received and so we are responsible for our gifts without having a right to them.

4) How do I value my time? Someone has said “show me your date book and your check book and I will tell you who you really are.” As we grow older we particularly understand the importance of investing time, not just spending it.

5) What am I currently doing for personal development? Our thoughts, actions, and decisions will largely determine who we will become. The more balanced we are in each area of our life (for example, career, family, faith, finances, physical, emotional, mental) the more productive we can be. No one other than Christ was truly balanced but that doesn’t mean we should neglect any areas. I find writing down my personal development plan is effective for accomplishment.

6) Do I learn chiefly by reading or hearing? Generally we are more proficient in one or the other. I have worked with and for highly effective executives who have a clear tendency toward one learning style. It is important to know your own style. Personally, I am a very slow reader but I retain a great deal. I take notes on almost everything I hear which works well for me in processing and applying the principles.

This week think about: 1) How prepared am I to answer these questions? 2) What helps me the most about Fred’s questioning process? 3) What question would I ask Fred if I could?

Words of Wisdom: “To me a correct philosophy of life is one of stewardship not ownership.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The Lord values the lives of his faithful followers.” (Psalm 116:15 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 26, 2017

Fred practiced mentoring by listening, asking questions, and applying principles. His ability to ask astute questions was part of his discernment gift which he developed through discipline and focus. We continue to provide questions he proposed to one of his monthly breakfast groups.

Thank you for praying for BWFLI. As we develop our 2018 and 2019 schedules, we do solicit your support.

Asking Myself

(The AM/PM group asked Fred to capture some of the mentoring questions they discussed monthly. Later on, the BWF Project asked him to give his thumbnail answers to them. Fred had no preparation – these are his top of mind responses while lying in his hospital bed.)

1) What are my areas of greatest discipline? We are most disciplined in the area in which we desire the most progress. For example, we can be highly disciplined in particular areas of our lives while remaining relatively undisciplined in others. I know musicians who are serious about their practice, but care little about their personal appearance! Or sadly, a singer may strive to perfect the singing skills while remaining a moral reprobate. Greatness always requires strict discipline. Exceptions and the desire to live that way are the enemy of discipline.

2) What do I learn and retain easily? I learn and retain those things that are most natural to me. I am convinced this is one of the indicators of our uniqueness. What I learn (and want to continue to learn) is a sign of my giftedness.

3) What destructive weaknesses do I have and how am I trying to buttress them? There are two things I need to know about myself – my constructive strengths and my destructive weaknesses. If the weakness does not work against the strength, I do not spend much time correcting it. I believe in developing my strengths and buttressing my weaknesses. I find a person will work much harder to improve strengths than correcting weaknesses. They have more energy displaying strengths than overcoming or improving weaknesses.

4) Do I expect more perfection from others than I do from myself? Generally we expect more perfection from others than ourselves because we understand our own limitations and not those of others. However, there are those who impose such high expectations on themselves they become difficult to work for and work with.

5) Am I willing to share credit easily? One of Canada’s most successful construction CEOs had this sign on his wall: “I can accomplish almost anything so long as I don’t care who gets the credit.” I find a great many problems in business are caused by those who want credit. Generally, they end up in competition with everyone.

This week think about: 1) Which question hits me hardest? 2) How can I use these questions in mentoring others? 3) What is God teaching me through Fred’s words?

Words of Wisdom: “I want to know two things: my constructive strengths and my destructive weaknesses.”

Wisdom from the Word: “After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.” (Luke 2:46 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 19, 2017

Fred met monthly with men named “The AM/PM Group.” They met in the morning (AM) and Peter McNally (PM) organized it. The purpose was challenge and growth. The members gave Fred a photo-shopped picture of themselves as taller than real life with the inscription: “You stretched us.”

BWFLI has the privilege of relationships which continue beyond the campus events. During the hurricane disasters we have joined in prayer with several of our schools affected by the destruction. What a privilege to connect with these institutions of Christian higher education during these times.

Mentoring Questions

(The AM/PM group asked Fred to capture some of the mentoring questions they discussed monthly. Later on, the BWF Project asked him to give his thumbnail answers to them. Fred had no preparation – these are his top of mind responses while lying in his hospital bed. They will be featured for the next three weeks.)

1) How do I define integrity? To me, integrity is when all the parts do well what they are supposed to do.

2) What are my allergies (things that turn me off emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically)? I want to have an allergy to error, superficiality, and elements of a weak character. As my friend Steve Brown says, “The things that God dislikes I should dislike. The things He likes I should promote.”

3) What equally touches my head and heart? One of the most difficult things emotionally is to get the thoughts from our head into our hearts. Yet out of the heart are the issues of life. This means we must have our emotions join our mind before we are effective in what we do.

4) When do I feel guilty? A Christian should never feel guilty, but repentant in response to conviction. Once we confess we can be assured of His forgiveness. Sin should not be met with guilt, but with confession and forgiveness. One of the mystics said often our guilt is worse than our sin. This is because our guilt is self-imposed.

5) What can I concentrate on at length? Our passion should be for that which needs doing, is worth doing, and is do-able. If I can’t do it, then it is foolish to spend time thinking about it. I am strong on concentration because it is a discipline. I find focused concentration is one of the hallmarks of successful men and women. Solutions come through long term concentration.

6) How much change can I comfortably undergo? Change is always necessary for improvement. But change is not always improvement. Evaluation is required by comparing past, present, and consideration of the future to determine its value.

7) What necessary disciplines do I have (or lack)? Discipline is the ultimate result of habit. We must first decide what habits are necessary in every area of our life, and then we must practice until they becomes reflexes. Once they are reflexes then they easily become the disciplines which we do automatically. We should occasionally review our disciplines to make sure they are applicable to our progress and development.

Think carefully about this week: 1) Which of these questions should I think about this week? 2) Who needs me to ask them one of these questions? 3) How can I develop the skill of self-examination?

Words of Wisdom: “We must practice our habits until they become reflexes.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible)