Asking Good Questions

Weekly Thought – March 12, 2019

Fred challenged everyone’s thinking. He mentally prepared for every conversation, meeting, and phone call. Unless they really knew Fred and his disciplined thought life they marveled at his reservoir of spontaneity. Questions like these stimulated his thinking and that of others. These brief answers were like a pop quiz, but a lifetime of thought allowed him to respond with depth.

Asking Good Questions:

1. Question: Is work my sickness or my cure? Fred Smith (FS): If our work is the fulfillment of our responsibilities then it can be a great force for health and maturity. Work that is addictive is detrimental. We know scripture says to do our work with all our might and it even admonishes those who are unwilling to work and provide for themselves and their families. Genuine accomplishment is a great benefactor; it gives meaning to life.

2. Q: Do I live an examined life? FS: One of our respected philosophers said that the unexamined life is an unworthy existence. Trying to live an unexamined life is like a doctor trying to cure an illness he has not diagnosed. Examination should have a practical limitation. Its purpose is to point out the elements most beneficial to our living a correct existence.

3. Q: What are the recurring themes in my life? FS: C.S. Lewis said that every person should have two or three major themes. Pursuing these gives us a reason for being. I believe major themes direct our accomplishments. Personally, I have found great satisfaction in studying human nature and how this knowledge interplays with our life decisions and actions. For example, I accept the Biblical theme of the fallen nature of man and its implications for the way our world works.

4. Q: Do I accent my rights over my responsibilities? FS: It is human for most of us to guard our rights more than fulfilling our responsibilities. It is part of our ego structure. We feel more arrogant when we accent our rights and more humble when we accept our responsibilities. Rights make us feel like we are the captain of our fate. When we demand our rights we separate ourselves from others. When we operate from a responsibility base we are pulled together. I like to say rights laminate, or press seal together. Part of our humility is the willingness to be accountable and not a “law unto ourselves.”

5. Q: Do I make good decisions? FS: No one I know has the ability to make all good decisions. That is one of the reasons I have specific individuals help me, using their areas of expertise. Here are a few principles for decision making: 1) I ask myself if I have a choice. If I have none, then I don’t have to bother myself about making a decision; 2) I ask if this is a major or minor decision; 3) Then I consider the short term benefit versus the long term liability. I have found short term benefits have a way of obscuring the long term liabilities.

This week think about: 1) How is Fred spurring me to develop questions? 2) What is my process for decision making? 3) How can I instill responsibilities rather than rights thinking into my family, work, friendships?

Words of Wisdom: “Trying to live an unexamined life is like a doctor trying to cure an illness he has not diagnosed.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For each one will carry his own load.” (Galatians 6:5 NET Bible)

Probing Questions

Weekly Thought – March 5, 2019

Fred asked questions much more frequently than he gave opinions and advice. On the Breakfast With Fred website there are over 300 questions he asked. This list is certainly not exhaustive, but gives everyone an effective help in mentoring others and in personal development. Before his death, daughter Brenda asked him many of the questions and captured his top of mind answers.

Fred’s files are replete with speech memos, “middle of the night” thoughts, correspondence, and articles. In 2019 we are going to begin another phase of uncovering and organizing the material to continue providing his timely and timeless wisdom. Thank you for supporting our efforts through your prayerful and financial support.

Probing Questions

Q: Do I drag difficult experiences from the past into the future? Fred Smith (FS): Certainly the past can become a real drag on the future. The remembered past is often made up of mistakes and sins. The human mistakes we can do our best to correct. The sins must be confessed and then forgiven by God. Putting the past into proper perspective may be a difficult, but worthwhile discipline. To take the Apostle Paul’s advice, “forgetting the past, I press forward.”
Q: Do I basically motivate or manipulate people? FS: It all depends on one’s definition of each. I have the simple rule that motivation is recognizing mutual interest and manipulation is concerned with only my advantage in mind. Many times leaders who claim to be motivators are in reality manipulating for selfish purposes. Serving the other person or the business isn’t their primary concern. I know one writer who said he was writing a book on motivation titled, “How to get others to do what you want.” That is manipulation, not motivation.
Q: How do I separate spirituality from superstition? FS: I had a friend who formed a corporation and promised to give 15% of the profits to Christian causes. As I talked with him I felt this was an act of superstition, rather than spirituality. Without accusing him, I felt he was almost bribing God to bring success to the enterprise. The CEO of a nationally traded company told me the SEC should investigate a company he knew because they claimed Christ served on their board. My response was to seriously doubt this claim when the stock dropped precipitously. We cannot manipulate and maneuver God with gestures which are actually forms of bribery. He is interested in our obedience, not just our success. We must be careful to make judgments and assessments, though. One person’s act of spirituality can be another’s superstitious behavior.
Q: How do I view respect tradition and view change? FS: I certainly respect meaningful traditions which exemplify scriptural principles. Change should always be aimed at improvement and not simply the avoidance of boredom. There can never be progress without change. However, change just for its sake doesn’t assure progress.
Q: Do I pray to change God or change me? FS: I do not believe I have any power to change God. My talking with Him aligns my will to His. Loving cars I use an automotive way of thinking about this. When I am getting ready to talk with God I get myself into neutral gear without turning off the engine. This allows me to go in whichever direction He chooses. It is on His itinerary and schedule, not mine. Christ in the garden was the example: “Thy will be done, not mine.” I believe God can act differently in various circumstances without changing His character. Because God is immutable He can adjust the appropriate action to the circumstances.

This week think about: 1) How much time am I spending asking questions? 2) Which of these spurs my thinking? 3) What mental disciplines do I need to be pursuing?

Words of Wisdom: “There can never be progress without change. However, change just for its sake doesn’t assure progress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible).

Taking Care of Business

Weekly Thought – February 26, 2019

Fred thought in visuals, and translated those visuals into words so others could capture the ideas. He often likened his process to the handle on a pot. The purpose of the handle was to enable someone to safely and easily manipulate the pan. He believed his ability to take complex thoughts and make them communicable was like putting a handle on them.

BWFLI is deepening the relationships with the colleges and universities with which we have partnered in the last 11 years. We will be doing this through personal input, written materials, and campus visits. Thank you for helping us in this crucial work. Please pray with us each month. Sign up for the prayer network and stand with us as we lift up our Christian institutions of higher learning.

Taking Care of Business

As I have said before, during the first weeks of each year I did in-depth evaluation of the prior year and planning for the new one. One area was focused on my business. I began this when I was a corporate executive looking at my management responsibilities. And then when I began Fred Smith Associates in 1955 I continued the practice, deepening the considerations year by year.

I started by reviewing the past year, bringing forward any items which remained on the accomplishment list. First, I looked at the organization’s personnel. I wish back then I would have had Jim Collins’s visual metaphor of the bus: putting the right ones in the right seats and the wrong ones off the bus. Without his picture, that is exactly what I did each year.

In organizations I was utilizing and maximizing strengths and buttressing weaknesses, trying to get extraordinary results from ordinary people. I always made sure I had a few extraordinary people in key leadership positions. My constant reminder was to make people decisions with my head, and not with my heart. Of course, there is a healthy interplay between the two. One thing I learned early on in owning my own business was to trust the counsel of a few talented, insightful individuals whose gifts were different from mine in making key personnel hires. I found Mary Alice had an innate, impeccable ability to read character. Therefore, any high level hires were always done with a candidate/spouse dinner with Mary Alice and me. She could read people!

Next, I wrote a vision statement to guide the organization. I reviewed, revised (when needed), and implemented the vision statement each year. In this process I evaluated our corporation’s position relative to our competition, considering new services or new products.

Of course, I looked at cash flow and profit potential. I took an overall look at capital requirements and budget items. The facilities and equipment requirements were reviewed with an eye to any needed additions. Technological changes are moving so rapidly it became a primary point of interest. I also reviewed legal, accounting, and benefit plans. I wanted to make sure we were meeting competitive standards.

Peter Drucker’s outstanding model of having efficiency at the bottom and effectiveness at the top was uppermost in the evaluation of my own performance. I had two major channels: public speaking (then writing) and business ownership. For years my personal measurement has been delegating everything from the “things that only I can do.” Some of these were looked at as annual items, other as long range corporate culture ones.

Then, I looked at the potential for flexibility in the organization because surprises come and I never want to be at their mercy.

This week think about: 1) I am two months into 2019, how am I doing with my plan? 2) What are the things that “only I can do?” 3) Who is a good model for organizational planning?

Words of Wisdom: “For years my personal measurement has been delegating everything from the ‘things that only I can do.’”

Wisdom from the Word: “The Lord’s decisions stand forever; his plans abide throughout the ages.” (Psalm 33:11 NET Bible)

Servant Leadership

Weekly Thought – February 19, 2019

Fred believed in evaluating current thinking in terms of Biblical principles. He always measured popular ideas, whether in the general culture or the church, specifically. He consistently measured ideas before espousing them.

Thank you for praying and financially supporting BWF. We want Fred’s wisdom to continue strengthening and stretching. Your tax-deductible gifts allow us to have a web, facebook, and campus presence. You are greatly appreciated.

Servant Leadership

When I went into business (over 60 years ago), I began reading the Harvard Review published by the Harvard Business School. I remember an article written by Mr. Robert T. Greenleaf of A.T.&T titled “Skyhooks.” It became one of their most highly read articles. He was one of the first mainstream authors to tackle a spiritual theme in business. In 1970 he introduced an idea he called “servant leadership.” Max DePree, Steven Covey, and Ken Blanchard all quickly adopted the concept and have greatly popularized not only the phrase, but the application.

I certainly believe it is a Biblical principle if we clearly understand the difference between the spirit and the function. Some leaders take it to mean they are expected and even “called” to do even the most menial jobs in their organizations. I know one executive who has taken it to mean he should stay and literally turn out the lights in his building at night. One believed he should operate as a literal servant of the employees to be true to servant leadership.

To me, this is a misunderstanding. I am convinced servant leadership is about the attitude of serving. The old paradigm of building a pyramid with the lowest paid employees on the bottom and the CEO at the pinnacle doesn’t exemplify my understanding. I like to think of turning the pyramid upside down. The CEO still bears more responsibility and receives higher compensation, but has the attitude of carrying the organization, not riding it.

The CEO in this new configuration sacrifices ego to the organization rather than deriving satisfaction from the organization. Christ washed the disciples’ feet once to illustrate his humility but I do not think he would have taken this up as His daily duty.

This week think about: 1) How am I thinking about servant leadership? 2) Who exemplifies the appropriate attitude of servanthood? 3) What excites me about learning to lead better?

Words of Wisdom: “The CEO in this new configuration sacrifices ego to the organization rather than deriving satisfaction from the organization.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Here is my servant whom I have chosen, the one I love, in whom I take great delight. I will put my Spirit on him, and he will proclaim justice to the nations.” (Matthew 12:18 NET Bible)

Ritual Versus Reality

Weekly Thought – February 12, 2019

Fred wrote and spoke often about the necessity of living in the present. He urged young ones to develop a work ethic, not a wish ethic. He consulted with numerous Christian ministries, pointing out the power of reality. And as he aged he regularly engaged his contemporaries in the need to jettison “used to” thinking.

As the research for the What’s Next book continues, please pray for fruitful interviews and clarity in developing the material. Also, as unpacked boxes of Fred’s material are uncovered, pray for an effective strategy for using the “new gems.”

Ritual Versus Reality

I recently had an interesting discussion of ritual versus reality. We acknowledged that the ritual was originally established to perpetuate the reality. However, we humans have a tendency to keep this ritual, letting the reality slip away. Theologically, this may be a subtle attempt on man’s part to take human control what initially was seen as divine.

When we do this we feel free to augment the ritual to please ourselves. This way we can make the ritual so elaborate it becomes what we would want it we were God. The outcome is often far from the sandals and seamless robe.

I have heard about (but never watched) TV shows that redo houses by tearing down walls, replacing simple design with upscale features. They take basic residences and bring them up to current tastes. Sometimes it seems like we want to do this with the fundamental rituals of the church which had a viable base. As I look at it, I see people who add color, sound, and video to make church more “relevant” and acceptable. We take the ordinary and overlay it with flash, thinking it will attract.

But I was taught a good lesson about other young ones who are serious about the reality. When I served as chair of the national Youth for Christ board why they were trying to dismantle the traditional church. This is what I saw happening with the changes in music and casual dress. To my surprise he replied, “Mr. Smith, we are not trying to destroy the traditions of the faith, but we are not willing to perpetuate them without the experience that created them.” Excellent answer.

How do we capture the initial reality? How do we avoid doing things by rote? Sometimes I hear people repeating the Lord’s Prayer in such a mindless state I wonder if they are even hearing themselves? Think of the disciples as they received the instructions from Christ? This was not a droning sound.

I submit we refill the ritual with the reality that gives it life.

This week think about: 1) Where have I substituted ritual for a vital reality? 2) What can I do to enliven my faith experience? 3) How can I connect with liturgy and form to bring the reality of Jesus into my life?

Words of Wisdom: “We acknowledged that the ritual was originally established to perpetuate the reality.”

Wisdom from the Word: “these are only the shadow of the things to come, but the reality is Christ!” (Colossians 2:17 NET Bible)

Personal Development Planning

Weekly Thought – February 5, 2019

Fred assumed God gave him gifts, not just for his enjoyment, but for he good of others – and to His glory. The concept of stewarding his “uniqueness” remained uppermost throughout his life, even to the last days. (Note: when Fred used the words “I am convinced” friends and family paid attention because it was always the preamble for a Fred truth.)

BWF is undertaking a writing project using several of Fred’s principles for effective living: mentoring, networking, and persevering. Please pray for the ideas to form into a usable, helpful shape. Your prayerful support and your financial gifts enable us to continue bringing Fred’s lifework forward. Thank you.

Personal Development Planning

I am convinced I am responsible for my own personal development. Only I know who I want to become. Only I know my real strengths and weaknesses; my passion and my talent. Only I know the price I am willing to pay to become who I can be.

On January 1st each year I look at what personal progress I made the year before and then importantly, what possible progress I can make in the coming year. For effective analysis I divided my development program into four areas: 1) physical, 2) emotional, 3) mental, and 4) spiritual. I do audits of my business, and family, as well, but this particular analysis is for my personal development.

I then measure four elements: 1) association, 2) reading, 3) writing, and 4) travel.

Association: when I was young I was always told, “Birds of a feather flock together.” I wanted to associate with individuals who would be my mentors and role models. Early in my business career I chose six qualities I wanted to build into my life. I asked individuals who personified each to give me an autographed picture. I framed them, along with a print of Hoffman’s head of Christ, and a mirror. I hung them with Christ at the top and the mirror at the bottom, surrounded by the others. It was an informal way to measure my progress.

Reading: I do prescriptive reading. What do I mean? Just as everyone doesn’t have the same prescription of their glasses, not everyone is helped by reading the same subjects. I read no fiction. I concentrate on certain authors who can give me what I need. I read on philosophy, theology, mentoring, and psychology – subjects for which I have a natural affinity.

Writing: Until I began working with Maxey Jarman, chairman of GENESCO, I was totally verbal. Once as I reported on activity in one of the manufacturing plants, he said, “Fred, write it.” When I told him I couldn’t, he said, “The reason you can’t write it is that you don’t know it. Anything you know you can write.” He required writing as a way of developing the discipline in me. Later in life I adopted Bacon’s quote: “Writing makes an exact man.”

Travel: Travel expands my viewpoint. Growing up in the mill district of North Nashville my world was very limited. But, I knew there was more. I would sit in the attic of our house with a crystal radio set searching for broadcasts from the outside world. Dreams became realities and I experienced all those places.

My friend Charlie “Tremendous” Jones always says: “Except for the books you read and the people you meet, you will be the same person in five years as you are today.” So true!

This week think about: 1) How well am I growing in Fred’s categories? 2) What are my measures for personal development? 3) Who can help me be much stronger in five years?

Words of Wisdom: “I am convinced I am responsible for my own personal development.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Take pains with these things; be absorbed in them, so that everyone will see your progress.” (1 Timothy 4:15 NET Bible)

Defining Impact

Weekly Thought – January 29, 2019

Fred didn’t remember wasting time as a child. He was ridiculed by others because he would sit and think, sometimes hiding in the attic or behind bushes to have alone time. Fred knew his goals were different from those around him. Serious thinking became the keystone of his giftedness.

Defining Impact

When I was 28, I sat in a cemetery and decided what I wanted as an epitaph. “He Stretched Others” was the phrase back then – and still is. This became a driving mission as I wanted to be a productive, helpful piece in the development of others.

Thinking of our mortality is important. I read we have an entire generation who is trying to outrun old age through health care, exercise, cosmetic surgery – and fooling themselves. Considering the end helps us bring clarity and reality to the present.

Our son, Fred, asked me “Dad, if you had only one more to talk to make, what would be the subject?” An intriguing question, don’t you think? The importance of our choices increases as we age. We know our time to impact others is limited. Just as Fred asked me, I started asking questions of others.

That became a challenge to describe the process the answering the “final” question. “Fred, everyone doesn’t think about these things as deeply as you do. Help me figure out a process so I can answer my question.” Here are just four of the many questions I asked which may be helpful as you construct your own last words:

1) What fact do I feel has affected my life the most?
2) What one thing would I want to say to my children and grandchildren?
3) What is the one statement that most deeply stirs me?
4) What could I say that would affect my hearers the most?

Whether it would be one last speech to make, one last song to sing, or one last book to write it makes a difference to know what your final expression would be. In defining this you find out a lot about who you are and what your life purpose is.

Oh, just in case you wondered about my answer to Fred… “The True Nature of Man.” Is mankind basically good with a tendency toward sin or basically sinful with a possibility for good?

(Note: on Fred’s tombstone in the Dallas cemetery which he is buried, the headstone says “He Stretched Others.”)

This week think about: 1) What is my “one last” word? 2) How am I evaluating my life in light of the future? 3) Who needs to engage in this conversation with me?

Words of Wisdom: “Considering the end helps us bring clarity and reality to the present.”

Wisdom from the Word: “With God are wisdom and power; counsel and understanding are his.” (Job 12: 13 NET Bible)

The Memory Game

Weekly Thought – January 22, 2019

Fred considered his memory as part of his gifting. Even at the very end of his life he had extraordinary capacity. His ability to not only pull back, but put into context enabled him to speak, write, and teach broadly.

During 2019 BWF is expanding its content through additional written materials. Prayer support as undertake the updating of You and Your Network, and produce a book on transition and change inspired by the What’s Next Roundtable.

The Memory Game

Friends of mine who are being dragged into their 50s complain of “losing their mind” when it is only their recall that is slowing down. (Note: Fred lived to 92 with memory intact). They still have strong reasoning power and good decision making skills.

They are experiencing a weakening of their recall system. As I grew older I felt the same frustration and anxiety.

When I thought it through I realized I have a mind, a memory, and a recall system. The mind does the thinking, the memory does the warehousing of data, and the recall is the retrieval method.

Now that my short-term memory is very capricious, I developed a game which defeats frustration. In fact, I have learned to greatly enjoy it!

The warehouse of my memory still contains all of my experiences. When I cannot bring a name or a word to mind I don’t lay the blame on my memory. Memory hasn’t failed – the warehouse is still in fine shape. And, if the recall element were in top working order, everything would be clear.

Here is how my warehouse works: I decided the building is divided into shelving units with workers whose responsibility was to retrieve and race to the front desk where the request lay. When they were young, they challenged each other to see who could answer my call with the speediest response. No matter what item I required, the answer was found and returned. Sometimes the warehousemen actually ran into each other bringing thoughts, names, and places to mind. Sometimes the warehouse whirred around with unlimited activity.

As I aged the process slowed down. At first I couldn’t understand it and was frustrated. “What was happening?”

Then the lightbulb went on: the warehouse workers were aging as I did. Some have arthritis, have failing eyes, and even misconstrue my request. Some workers have retired so several units are unattended. The pep in their step drags a bit.

The other day I waited and waited for the worker to return. When he arrived he reported he forgot what I ordered. I laughed and said, “So did I!”

When I realized I have not lost my mind I understood the process… and cut the workers some slack. And I wrote out bonus checks for those warehousemen who faithfully serve me for all these years! And prepared myself to hear from them about 3 am for that is their time of choice to deliver the information!

This week think about: 1) How can I change my view of memory loss? 2) What can I do to keep my warehousemen in good shape? 3) Who needs to be encouraged by Fred’s game?

Words of Wisdom: “The mind does the thinking, the memory does the warehousing of data, and the recall is the retrieval method.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will remember the works of the Lord. Yes, I will remember the amazing things you did long ago!” (Psalm 77:11 NET Bible)

Challenges and Disturbances

Weekly Thought – January 15, 2019

Fred’s ability to capture the essence of culture and his discernment about the nature of mankind gave him a timeless view of the world. This week’s post is truly solid gold as it is excerpted from a 1954 speech. In the talk he mused about the challenging conditions of the world, listing some disturbing contributions of his generations. Fred was 39 at the time of these observations.

Challenges and Disturbances

My generation has given to the new generation (editor’s note: new generation at that time comprised of those born 1927-1944):

1) Religion without conviction
2) Science without conscience
3) Kinsey without marriage
4) Excitement without achievement
5) Security without effort
6) Knowledge without wisdom
7) Nightmares instead of dreams
8) Techniques without principles
9) Precepts without examples
10) Freedom without responsibility
11) The present without promise
12) The future without fruition
13) Marching orders without marching songs
14) Education without motivation
15) Prosperity without peace
16) War without reason
17) Art without beauty
18) Brotherhood without Godhood
19) Songs without souls
20) Enterprise without enthusiasm
21) Fission without feeling
22) Fusions without faith

This week think about: 1) Nearly 60 years ago Fred saw these trends. What am I seeing and passing on to the next generations? 2) How clear am I on my challenges and contributions? 3) Who am I influencing in the next generations?

Words of Wisdom: “We are giving the new generation knowledge without wisdom.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And regard the patience of our Lord as salvation, just as also our dear brother Paul wrote to you, according to the wisdom given to him. (2 Peter 3:15 NET Bible)

Enough?

Weekly Thought – January 8, 2019

Fred considered personal growth a serious responsibility. His paraphrased life verse was Proverbs 18:16: “Take the gift God has given you, and use it, and you will stand before great men.” An evangelist gave this verse to Fred when he was a teenager, and it became a driving force.

This month our BWFLI team will be gathering at LeTourneau University in Longview, TX. Please pray for them as they begin conversations and create connections about their “What’s Next” decisions. 2019 will be a year for publishing. You and Your Network will be getting a facelift with new styling and additional bonus content. The What’s Next curriculum will be featured in a book sharing stories of people with their transition and change strategies.

Enough?

Adequacy is our ability to cope – no matter what the situation. Adequacy is both a fact and a feeling. A lot of people have the fact, but lack the feeling. Consequently, they go around with negative thoughts and fears. For example, when problem situations arise, they handle them capably, but don’t tap into the capacity to enjoy the feeling of adequacy. Therefore, they brush off the success and miss out on the complete experience of being adequate.

I know a young female executive who “leaks.” She handles difficulties easily, then moves on without taking even a moment to process the success. She seems incapable of retaining the feeling of doing well. Instead, she can recite a litany of misses while totally missing out on the feeling of success.

However, there is no reason to say that you are adequate when you are not. This is fantasy and will get you into a great deal of trouble. When your inadequacy is revealed, you will look like a fraud. But a legitimate feeling of accomplishment is important for it contains elements of hope, faith, confidence, and good past experiences.

The ability to think is far greater than the ability to store information. The willingness to act is more important than the data involved with processing the action. Too often we have all the information we need to make a good decision, but failure and subsequent inadequacy come in the inability to take action.

Adequacy is a combination of sufficient information matched with the skill and willingness to take appropriate action. And as we experience this pairing in our lives we gain the fact and feeling of adequacy. In Texas we have a fitting expression “fixin’ to.” To be truly adequate we need to move beyond that to doin’ it.

And for Christians, we know that the fundamental ingredient is the humility to know our gifts don’t come from us, but through us.

This week think of: 1) When do the fact and feeling of adequacy come together for me? 2) How can I hone my decision making skills? 3) Where are my areas of intended growth for 2019?

Words of Wisdom: “Adequacy is a combination of sufficient information matched with the skill and willingness to take appropriate action.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as if it were coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God.” (2 Corinthians 3:5 NET Bible)

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