Weekly Thought – September 19, 2017

Fred met monthly with men named “The AM/PM Group.” They met in the morning (AM) and Peter McNally (PM) organized it. The purpose was challenge and growth. The members gave Fred a photo-shopped picture of themselves as taller than real life with the inscription: “You stretched us.”

BWFLI has the privilege of relationships which continue beyond the campus events. During the hurricane disasters we have joined in prayer with several of our schools affected by the destruction. What a privilege to connect with these institutions of Christian higher education during these times.

Mentoring Questions

(The AM/PM group asked Fred to capture some of the mentoring questions they discussed monthly. Later on, the BWF Project asked him to give his thumbnail answers to them. Fred had no preparation – these are his top of mind responses while lying in his hospital bed. They will be featured for the next three weeks.)

1) How do I define integrity? To me, integrity is when all the parts do well what they are supposed to do.

2) What are my allergies (things that turn me off emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically)? I want to have an allergy to error, superficiality, and elements of a weak character. As my friend Steve Brown says, “The things that God dislikes I should dislike. The things He likes I should promote.”

3) What equally touches my head and heart? One of the most difficult things emotionally is to get the thoughts from our head into our hearts. Yet out of the heart are the issues of life. This means we must have our emotions join our mind before we are effective in what we do.

4) When do I feel guilty? A Christian should never feel guilty, but repentant in response to conviction. Once we confess we can be assured of His forgiveness. Sin should not be met with guilt, but with confession and forgiveness. One of the mystics said often our guilt is worse than our sin. This is because our guilt is self-imposed.

5) What can I concentrate on at length? Our passion should be for that which needs doing, is worth doing, and is do-able. If I can’t do it, then it is foolish to spend time thinking about it. I am strong on concentration because it is a discipline. I find focused concentration is one of the hallmarks of successful men and women. Solutions come through long term concentration.

6) How much change can I comfortably undergo? Change is always necessary for improvement. But change is not always improvement. Evaluation is required by comparing past, present, and consideration of the future to determine its value.

7) What necessary disciplines do I have (or lack)? Discipline is the ultimate result of habit. We must first decide what habits are necessary in every area of our life, and then we must practice until they becomes reflexes. Once they are reflexes then they easily become the disciplines which we do automatically. We should occasionally review our disciplines to make sure they are applicable to our progress and development.

Think carefully about this week: 1) Which of these questions should I think about this week? 2) Who needs me to ask them one of these questions? 3) How can I develop the skill of self-examination?

Words of Wisdom: “We must practice our habits until they become reflexes.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 14, 2016

Fred and Mary Alice were married on June 25, 1937. Although they met in 7th grade English class, they didn’t date until they graduated from Hume Fogg High School in Nashville, TN. She worked at S.H. Kress at the candy counter. Fred saved up his money, bought a few pieces of sweets, stood and talked with her regularly. At age 21 they married. Until her death in 2004 they remained faithful and true.

BWFLI was an idea which developed from one event to over a dozen. Thanks for standing with us.

Mind-full-ness

I asked the Senior Vice President of a billion dollar oil company: “John, what do you know now that you wish you had known when you got out of school?”

Very quickly he responded, “Fred, I wish I had had the humility of an open mind.” Have you ever tried to talk with someone whose mind was tightly closed because they thought they had all the ideas of value?

A common denominator I have discovered among eager learners is that they are not far from a paper and pen (or the modern equivalent). Watch for this! Engage highly energetic, ambitious achievers in a stimulating conversation, and suddenly you will see them record an idea that has crossed their mind. Note-taking achievers can throw away their recorded ideas later if they don’t want them (and smart folks do evaluate and discard bad ideas). But, if they want to remember an idea and haven’t jotted it down, how can they recapture it? Howard Hendricks, distinguished professor at Dallas Theological Seminary has trained thousands of men and women to carry 3 x 5 cards with them to catch what Dr. Haddon Robinson calls “the big idea.”

An outstanding young man I recently met said this to me: “A leader is not the one who has the best ideas; a leader is the man or woman who uses the best ideas.” In order to do this, the leader must have an open, discerning mind. Of course, I am not talking about a sticky flycatcher that picks up everything passing by, but an astute ability to open up to ideas that are helpful.

I always keep in mind that what leaders know is not uppermost – I am primarily interested in what they are and how they think. That will determine how well they will use what they know and how they capture that which they don’t know. This is a critical element of good thinking.

A friend of mine who was an eminent scientist instructed me to “make friends with your ignorance. Wake up each morning realizing that there is so much more for you to know than you knew yesterday.”

This week think about: 1) When have I been too close minded to consider new ideas? 2) How can I think about opportunities for greatness? 3) What can I do this week to stretch my mind?

Words of Wisdom: “Engage highly energetic, ambitious achievers in a stimulating conversation, and suddenly you will see them record an idea that has crossed their mind.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will think about all you have done; I will reflect upon your deeds!” (Psalm 77:12 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 1, 2015

Fred collected ideas the way some assemble sports memorabilia, or pictures of themselves with famous people. He thought constantly and captured these bursts on a tape recorder then transcribed by Margie Keith. This week the email features these explosions on the subject of mentoring. They are not in paragraph form, but certainly a format which leads to cohesive application.

December signals the end of the year for BWF and BWFLI. It also welcomes the beginning of our academic planning season. Thank you for your consistent support through prayer, words of encouragement, and financial giving. Please remember us in your year-end donations if led. Bless.

Mentoring Moments

1) A mentor helps a person have an accountability, a measure for accomplishment, and a clarity of purpose by having them review to you what they are trying to accomplish – not what you want for them to achieve.

2) The most difficult area to mentor is character. Yet this is where most of the failures are. I have rarely seen anyone fail for lack of training, but many times for lack of character.

3) A mentor helps another identify constructive strengths and destructive weaknesses, then focus on the strengths while bolstering the weaknesses.

4) A mentor is a counter-balance. I like to think of myself as the tail on the kite of high flyers.

5) A mentor differentiates between where the person is and where they want to go by always trying for a higher standard.

6) The mentor helps develops the reflexes by instituting habits and reviews.

7) The mentor is not a monitor. Someone can stand in the gym and look in the mirror to monitor progress. The mentor assists in the process, and doesn’t just reflect it.

8) The mentor helps in the clarification of spirit, mood, and intent.

9) It is not the mentor’s job to create desire.

10) A mentor should expose fantasy to avoid kidding oneself or rationalizing.

11) You turn to a mentor after you learn the fundamentals. He may return you to the basics, but it’s the teacher’s responsibility for the rudiments and the mentor’s to coach you to acquire the expert skill in the use of them.

12) If someone were to come to me and ask me what I could do for them, I would probably say, “Nothing” because I refuse to take the responsibility for doing for them what they can do for themselves.

This week think about: 1) Which thought applies to me right now? 2) How can I further develop this thought to be helpful? 3) Who is mentoring me and who am I mentoring?

Words of Wisdom: “A mentor is a counter-balance… a tail on the kite.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And entrust what you heard me say in the presence of many others as witnesses to faithful people who will be competent to teach others as well.” (2 Timothy 2: 2 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – January 13, 2015

Fred was known as a “mentor to a generation of leaders.” Frequently, we receive emails mentioning ways Fred encouraged personal or business development. The word “mentor” comes from Greek mythology. Odysseus went off to the Trojan Wars, leaving his son Telemachus in the care of Mentor, tasking him with the nurturing and growth of him as a man. Interestingly, the first use of the word was in the writings of Francois Fenelon. Those who knew Fred knew “my friend Fenelon.”

In the month of January we are going to present various thoughts from Fred on this subject, hoping to bring strength and guidance.

Growing Others

Most successful men and women have had good mentors just as most successful athletes have had good coaches.

Mentoring can be organized for discussion but not for treatment. Mentoring does not come in a formula – it is a living relationship. It is not linear but often comes in fits and starts. It can involve one specific area or a total life. For example, a local high achiever came to me asking for help in his speaking abilities as he was taking on more public responsibilities requiring platform time. Others have come wanting to talk through aspects of a balanced life. These mentoring assignments can be short or long term. (more…)

Weekly Thought – November 4, 2014

Fred graduated from Hume-Fogg (often referred to as Human Frog) High School in Nashville, TN. College was not an option for he was already working to supplement family income. So, later in life when he frequently lectured in colleges and universities, it was a testimony to his life-long learner habits. Guilford College in Greensboro, NC was one of his favorite venues. This week’s message is taken from notes he prepared for a talk.

If you are helped by these weekly wisdom emails, would you help us by sharing them with others? We would like to expand our reach in this year building up to Fred’s 100th birthday anniversary. Thank you.

Knowing and Growing

Will and Ariel Durant, the historians, claim “Education is the transmission of civilization.” H.G. Wells said, “Civilization is a race between education and catastrophe.” I am convinced this comment shows the trend of man. If he were basically good, why would there be this race?

Through formal education each generation can build on the knowledge of the prior generations. I believe this is only true if we accept the principles produced by the knowledge. If we deny the principles, then we continually reinvent the wheel.

Thomas Huxley said, “Perhaps the most valuable result of all education is the ability to make yourself do the thing you have to do when it ought to be done, whether you like it or not.” This is tying discipline to knowledge. This understanding that immediate gratification is not always right and immediate pleasure is not the answer. Deferring gratification and pleasure are critical to achieving our long range goals. (more…)

Weekly Thought – December 31, 2013

Fred spent every January 1st in the office reviewing and assessing the past year and setting goals for the next.  Even though his nature was strongly creative, he enjoyed a bold analytical capability.  This combination allowed him to approach any topic subjectively and objectively.

As 2014 begins, we thank you.  The Apostle Paul constantly gave thanks to those who formed his community.  May 2014 bring wisdom, enthusiasm, and awareness.

Counsel to Mentorees

Having been mentored for years and now serving as mentor, here are some observations I hope are helpful.

1. Have your mentor to help you learn to ask the right questions, search in the right places, and stay interested in the right answers.  “Ask a question the other person wants to answer” is my response to all those who probe this area.  There is an art and science of questioning.
2. Decide what degree of excellence you want to attain.  The object of mentoring isn’t perfection, but progress.  Only a few can be truly excellent, but all can be better…begin with better.
3. Assume a subordinate learning position.  Few people can be humble enough to accept concentrated mentoring.  They let their ego get in the way and begin competing to impress the mentor.
4. Respect the mentor, don’t idolize.  The relationship is created to enable growth, not to establish hero worship.  When a mentor is placed on a pedestal it is often for the mentoree to claim affiliation.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – December 24, 2013

Fred’s family had a tradition of buying presents and decorating a tree on Christmas Eve.  It was years before the family knew their Dad started the “tradition” because trees went on sale that afternoon, as did gifts. He and Mary Alice made it special and festive.

The year is coming to an end.  Has 2013 flown by for you?  It is fun to look back and see all BWF (and BWFLI) has accomplished.  Without your help, it would be impossible to continue this work.  You are a gift to us.  Thank you so much. And please know we will be praying for you to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ with joy and contentment.

Growing Others

We need instructors as well as mentors.  With an instructor we share an interest in the same subject and can communicate easily around that particular material.  Instruction is what Plato referred to as “transferring information from one mind to another.”  Instruction includes showing how to use the data transfer to maximize gifts and talents for usefulness.  Instruction is helpful for the learning of techniques.

Mentoring is different.  Our best mentors are those with whom we share a common philosophy of life, knowing that what we do is an expression of our mindset.  Personally, I have found that I can best be a mentor to those whom I respect most.  That respect creates an atmosphere in which the mentee can learn the arts of development since we are talking about more than technique.  Mentoring is the process of developing unique qualities in the art of learning.  For example, such things as thinking, feeling, and dedication to excellence cannot be given by instruction – they can only be coached.

Mentoring involves the heart as well as the head.

The requirements of a good mentor are: 1) share a comparable philosophy; 2) sincerely believes in the mentee’s potential; 3) both understand where he/she wants to go; 4) able to make assessments and be willing to offer alternative directions; 5) recognizes when the “season” is over; 6) attached to mentee through accomplishment; 7) being mentored themselves; 8) willing to be committed, serious, and available.     (more…)