Weekly Thought -October 19, 2021

Fred excelled in disciplining his decisions. He, also, made this exercise part of his mentoring. He knew healthy organizations depended heavily on the skill of leadership in assessing situations and making wise, effective decisions.

Disciplined Decisions

As leaders, our decisions determine the character of our organizations. We cannot afford to make exceptions for ourselves. If the President cuts corners, it sets standards for the entire organization. In my experience, dishonesty at the top encourages it throughout.

I have seen some leaders overlook “small dishonesties” as a way to glue the organization to the leader through guilt… it may even become an informal perk. If the company philosophy says honesty is the best policy, then it must be the only policy. My mentor at GENESCO had a policy: “If it has to be done, it has to be done right. If it can’t be done right, it doesn’t have to be done.” Where others took short cuts we had to work to find creative solutions with integrity.

Leaders must recognize that their character directly affects how they operate. They must make disciplined decisions. For example, working from the desire to maintain total control does not usually result in a healthy organization. Some leaders operate with the agenda of protecting personal position. Leadership development in such situations is thwarts personnel development.

I was once in a ministry reorganization that raised the control question. “Is this work his or His?” “Does it belong to the leader or to God?” When I hear a ministry leader say “God called me to head up this organization” I want to ask “For what purpose: to give you a lifetime job, or that the mission might be accomplished?” Control driven ministry leaders are usually more self-serving than God-serving.

Certainly there are times of emergency when unilateral control may be required for a short time – until the emergency is resolved.

Control oriented leadership doesn’t establish succession. I was once asked to take the helm as President of an organization that had long been led by a dictatorial head. I knew my team approach would not be profitable because the staff was trained to act on orders, not to think through solutions. I couldn’t in good conscience ask people who hadn’t taken responsibility for results for years to begin to think for themselves. My experience teaches me the perpetuity of the healthy organization is management’s first responsibility, and so leadership development at all levels is of prime importance. Successful succession is a leader’s responsibility and often a test of character.

Think carefully about: 1) What measures do I use to assess the health of an organization? 2) How careful am I to make disciplined decision – even in the smallest matter? 3) Who looks up to me as a model for character development?

Words of Wisdom: “Leaders must recognize that their character directly affects how they operate.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Listen to advice and receive discipline, that you may become wise by the end of your life.” (Proverbs 19:20 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 21, 2021

Fred traveled heavily in his consulting and speaking work. Early on he attained lifetime status with American Airlines. He met interesting people and exercised his great skill of question asking. This week’s thought recalls a funny experience during the 1960s on one of those cross-country flights.

Decisive Actions

Decisiveness is a quality of effective executives, but it is indeed a rare trait. Everyone likes to say, “Oh, yes, I am decisive.” Very few really are. They wait until they are forced into a decision or until the decision is made for them.

Lately I’ve been accumulating clever ways people avoid making a decision. And there is no dearth of material. One of the worst offenders is the executive who talks five minutes on both sides of the question and then emphatically announces, “That is what I think.” Oh, no, there is one worse – the fellow who sits next to the him and says, “I agree with Bob.”

Actually, decisiveness is a matter of the will. I think I will illustrate it with a true story.

I was spending a few days with Mobil Oil (one of my consulting clients) on the west coast. Wanting to get home I took the red eye American flight to Chicago and then on to Cincinnati. When I got to the check-in I realized the flight was full. As we loaded people kept coming on the plane until every seat was taken except for the one next to me.

Just before the door closed a 6’3” mountain of a man with big, broad shoulders and a flat stomach came running on the plane and sat down next to me. He shouldn’t have done that. Why should he make me uncomfortable all the way to Chicago as I sat there with my 225 pounds of solid blubber? It was Charlton Heston, the actor.

“Mr. Heston, you are in wonderful physical shape.” “I have to be in my business.” I replied, “I wish I could be, too, but I have to work.” “Well, I have to work but I can stay in this shape on 17 minutes a day.”

He had no right to say that. That was not sociable. I have 17 minutes a day. He should have talked about days under professional training.

For 30 minutes I sat and stewed in my own fat. Then I said, “Mr. Heston, I travel a lot.” “I do, too.” “How do you exercise when you are on the road?” “It’s very simple. I go into the hotel room, sit on the luggage rack, put my toes under the bed, and do back bends.” “What do you do about your shoulders?” “Oh, that is easy. I roll under the bed and push the bed up and down in the air.”

Now what is the difference between Heston and Smith? You recognize it all too quickly. A recent survey discovered the definable difference between successful and unsuccessful people: the unsuccessful say “I should – I ought to- I plan to – I’m going to” but never get around to it. The successful say, “I will.” They make the decision and take action. They do it.

This week carefully consider: 1) As I read Fred’s story, where do I need to make a decision? 2)What is holding me back? 3) Who models decisiveness in my work life, community, and family?

Words of Wisdom: “Decisiveness is a matter of the will.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So give your servant a discerning mind so he can make judicial decisions for your people and distinguish right from wrong. Otherwise no one is able to make judicial decisions for this great nation of yours.” ( 1 Kings 3:9 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 15, 2020

Fred’s reputation as a nationally-recognized speaker began at an early age. Raised in the home of a fiery Southern Baptist preacher he studied the styles of many. His love of communication lasted throughout his lifetime. Men and women came to learn from him, even until the last days of his life. This week’s selection is a discussion of speaking from a very specific aspect – gesturing. As you watch presentations, think about Fred’s observations.

Gesturing Effectively

Gestures have a vocabulary all their own. The Spanish painter Goya charged as much to paint just the hands as he did a face because most artists will tell you they are the most difficult part of the body to capture.

Delsarte studied how hands show emotion. He got so good he could sit in a park and tell whether a baby was held by a nanny, or the mother, just by the intensity of the hands. I, too, am interested in what hands say. When I watch a speaker, I focus on the hands. I want to see if the gestures are spontaneous or programmed. I want to see whether the spontaneous gestures are repetitious or varied. My friend Haddon Robinson has one of the finest pairs of hands I know. I have tried to count the different formations his hands make, and the number gets astronomical. Yet they’re absolutely spontaneous, and they’re in harmony with what he’s saying and with the sound of his voice. He has a large vocabulary of words and gestures.

One of our former presidents could say something like “You know I love you,” but he would make a hacking gesture. Some psychiatrist friends who studied his gestures told me, “His hands tell you how much he really loves you.” You don’t use a hacking motion with a genuine expression of love.

Great conductors, for example, will often set aside the baton because they can communicate more clearly with their hands. The orchestra can read the hands more readily than the baton which can give the tempo, but not the nuance.
Many people telegraph what they are going to say with their hands. They’ll let you know what’s coming before they actually say it. The hands come alive before the voice does. The audience detects this even if unaware of what is being communicated.

The pointed finger rarely creates a friendly atmosphere. We think of the teacher who points before reprimanding.

In my experience I have found people who do not have effective gestures, but are willing to learn. Too many people hinder themselves because they are afraid to try. Any time we want to develop new skills we must start by giving ourselves permission to try (and possibly fail at first). With gestures the key is simply to make sure they are spontaneous, representing both the voice and the mind. A good speaker gives himself/herself permission to learn how to vary them to increase effective expression.

Here is an example: If you are going to be delivering a climactic statement, do not get intense too soon. It’s better to relax your body and back away about a half step from the audience. Then just before you come to that statement step toward the audience and straighten up. That way your body, as well as your voice projects the message.

The eyes are critical in speaking… almost as important as the voice. There is a temptation to zero in on a few attentive people in the front of the room. Speakers often overcome their insecurity and nervousness by addressing their remarks to this group. This is an error. I tell young speakers to think of the farmer who is feeding the chickens… “You have to throw the corn wide enough for everyone to get some.”

Gestures lend emphasis and color to words. Your emotions overflow into your gestures and become one of the most powerful parts of your body language. What you say is either enhanced or diminished by your repertoire of gestures, so it is a good place to focus if you want to develop your speaking skills.

This week carefully consider: 1) How conscious am I of a speaker’s gestures? 2) What am I doing to develop my own vocabulary of gestures? 3) When have I sent a mixed message because my words and my gestures were not in sync?

Words of Wisdom: “With gestures the key is simply to make sure they are spontaneous, representing both the voice and the mind.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A person will be satisfied with good from the fruit of his words, and the work of his hands will be rendered to him.” Proverbs 12:14 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – December 8, 2020

Fred appreciated men and women of vision. He said, “one of a leader’s functions is to coagulate followers around the vision, not around himself or herself.” At this time when planning is being assessed and evaluated, Fred’s thoughts are helpful.

COVID directly impacted the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute. However, the ripples from years past still demonstrate the effects. The Weekly Thoughts have continued without interruption. In an email we received this week, the influence of the Weekly Thoughts was mentioned: “I truly feel like one of the students that you have graciously mentored through BWFLI. The October 27th weekly thought spoke directly to my heart as I’m processing my transition.” These weekly emails are nearly 16 years in production. May the gifts God gave to Fred continue to be shared as they seek to stretch and bless.

Gather Around the Vision

Genuine leadership gathers people around the purpose of the organization. Toward that end, leaders need to recognize several subtle dynamics.

1) Decisions are not commitments. The first is immediate; the second is the long term working out. For example, in evangelism we see a lot of decisions. It is right to talk about a response to the Gospel and an “on the spot” decision. The commitment comes as part of the maturing process. If a person or an organization never moves from decision to commitment operations look much like New Year’s Resolutions – with a similar outcome. The leader is to envision a way to move from decision to commitment. I have observed that this process needs both the spoken and written forms. Speakers are effective at bringing people to a decision point, but generally it takes the written word to bring people to a long lasting commitment. Wise leaders know when they get a decision (even a group decision) that isn’t equivalent to commitment. A tragic managerial mistake is assuming the first step is enough without securing the second.

2) Recognize the “driving wheels.” There is a difference between people who provide the momentum in a group and those who just go along for the ride. Wise leaders know if they get the driving wheels committed, they can bring the others along. A bumpy ride is ahead for organizations who miss this step. The best way to persuade the driving wheels is not with emotion, but comprehension. My good friend, Jack Turpin, first discussed this with me. He had no lasting respect for short term excellence. “Anybody who can reach excellence should try to sustain it.” He believed the only way people will perform excellently over the long term is if they fully comprehend what they are doing. A decision based on emotional fervor won’t last; a fully comprehended commitment will. The way to motivate the driving wheels is to ask, “Do you agree this is something worth doing? If so, let’s commit to doing it together.”

3) Know when it is time to change the vision. Leaders know that situations don’t stay the same forever. We see this in the church as we study demographic trends. For a local church to maintain its vitality and often its viability, it must look at the makeup of the congregation. To assume a static position on means and methods can result in loss. Sadly, many have lost the promise of future leadership by ignoring shifts and alienating younger congregants. It is critical to measure the vision and see if it is getting the desired results. Churchill is famous for saying, “never, never, never, never give up.” But it is just as important to know that “when the horse is dead, dismount.”

Leaders must be honest about the vision, the effort required, and the reasons for expending it. Lasting motivation is really persuasion by comprehension. If you have to hide the reasons you want a person or an organization to follow, you are probably manipulating and unlikely to find long term commitment or sustained excellence.

This week carefully consider: 1) How well do I communicate my personal and professional visions? 2) What am I doing to be certain I don’t use manipulation? 3) Where do I need to focus as I anticipate next year?

Words of Wisdom: “Wise leaders know when they get a decision (even a group decision) that isn’t equivalent to commitment.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Commit your future to the LORD. Trust in him, and he will act on your behalf.” (Psalm 37:5 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 23, 2020

Fred thought in pictures. His ability to pass visuals along to his audiences endeared him to all who listened. They carried home more than words, even more than principles – they had a concept they could picture.

As we mentioned before, it is time to update the breakfastwithfred.com website. Like all of us, it has aches and pains. If you would help us underwrite this process, any gift is greatly appreciated. Thanks for praying for us.

Wheelbase

Fiat 500s and Rolls Royce limousines have a commonality: they both have a wheelbase. The big difference is the distance between the front and back wheels. The shorter the wheelbase, the more quickly the impact of road bumps is felt and the rougher the ride. It doesn’t affect the ability to arrive at the destination – it does impact the comfort of the passengers.

Nearly sixty years in business has given me ample opportunities to put this visual into practice.

A baby has a short emotional wheelbase. He or she goes from crying to laughing and back to crying with very little provocation – and time. My grandson Jeff often heard me speak of this principle. When he and his wife Anne began raising their family this came back to him. I overheard him telling baby Jack who was crying in his high chair, “LYW, Jack, LYW.” When I asked what he said, he told me: ‘Lengthen your wheelbase, Jack.”
As we grow, our emotional wheelbase should lengthen. We learn the bad is never that bad and the good is never that good. The mature learn to live with a balance understanding and practicing, “This, too, shall pass.” Emotional maturity allows us to face crisis without giving in to the panic of the environment. Under the glass on my desk are lines from the poem “If.” “If you can keep your head when all those around are losing theirs…” At the end of the litany of ifs is the famous line, “Then you, my son, are a man.”

Yet, some executives maintain their childish short emotional wheelbase. You cross them and they scream; you please them and you are the recipient of flowery clichés. They are weak leaders and fail to engender great loyalty and trust.

The winner who stretches his emotional wheelbase enjoys greater success. And it is infinitely easier on the organization, the community, the family – and their own bodies.

This week carefully consider: 1) How long is my emotional wheelbase? Am I driving a Smart Car or a limo? 2) What exercises can I do to move toward maturity? 3) What picture am I taking away this week?

Words of Wisdom: “The winner who stretches his emotional wheelbase enjoys greater success.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Therefore we must progress beyond the elementary instructions about Christ and move on to maturity.” (Hebrews 6:1(a) NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 17, 2020

Fred’s reputation as a communicator extended to writing, consulting, and speaking. He studied the principles and styles throughout his life. His goal was to understand the impact of true communication. His “ten commandments of communication” were used as a weekly eight years ago this week. Fred originally put it on paper in 1987. They may be new to you, or they may be an excellent reminder of Fred’s strong thoughts as a nationally known speaker. Let them be helpful to you this week.

The Jarvis Christian College project is moving well. Please continue to pray for the students, the curriculum, and the influence.

Ten Commandments of Communication

1. Be believable: make sure you demonstrate agreement with your audience with your style, dress, speech patterns, vocabulary, etc. Speak convincingly with authority and experience.
2. Be audience oriented: always have an attitude of a servant, not a master. Show gratitude for the opportunity. Make sure you speak to an audience about a subject, not about a subject to an audience… put the audience first.
3. Be personal: create a one on one relationship. Do not be removed from the audience. Share life experiences when appropriate and tastefully done.
4. Be prepared: always speak from the overflow. Respect for the audience requires proper preparation. come ready to pull from a deep well. Freedom and confidence result from full preparation.
5. Be enjoyable: audiences relate to stories which illustrate points. Be ready to give hope. Bring good news. Each opportunity before an audience is a stewardship. Always recognize they are trading time to listen to you.
6. Be human: there is no room for a messianic complex in a successful speaker, nor an attitude of inerrancy. Humor is a key element in establishing a human connection. A speaker can get laughs with “blue humor,” but will lose respect. Finding stories which bring clean laughter connects the speaker to the audience, moves the points, and breaks down tension.
7. Be empowered: I always remind myself that I am the pipe, not the pump. I am not the Holy Spirit (the generator), but the tube through which He flows. My motives must be clean; my attitude must be ready.
8. Communicate to change behavior: the goal must be to spur the audience to action. A critical rule: never manipulate principles; never play with the truth. Challenge audience to take the next step knowing they will only hear what they can immediately apply.
9. Pray before speaking: ready your attitude. Keep “profitability to the Master” uppermost before saying one word. Listen for “nudges” from the Holy Spirit.
10. Leave them wanting more: create a desire to know more about both the subject and the speaker. Give back time, never go over the allotted minutes. Avoid the “when are they going to stop” atmosphere. The best content has a limited receptivity.
An 11th added years later: “Speak to express, not to impress.”
This week think about: 1) Which commandment can help me in my speaking right now? 2) How can I apply these principles to my home, career, and community? 3) What opportunity for communication is uppermost for me this week?
Words of Wisdom: “Speak to express, not impress.”
Wisdom from the Word: “A wise person’s heart makes his speech wise and it adds persuasiveness to his words.” (Proverbs 16:23 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – February 25, 2020

Fred learned from his mentor to put his thoughts in writing. He benefited from skilled administrative assistants who understood his style and translated his thoughts to paper. Thankfully, files exist which hold decades of these ruminations. Five pages of onion skin typing paper hold one liners on leadership, written in 1958 when he was 42.

In 2020 the What’s Next Roundtable creates a three session model which will engage students and team members for an entire semester. Please pray for the students who are nominated by their schools, team members who accept this ongoing challenge, and growth for all who participate.

Lines on Leadership

1. Leadership does not mean domination. It seeks effective activity with a beneficent purpose.
2. In every significant event there has been a bold leader, an object, or purpose – and an adversary.
3. A healthy society is one in which opportunities are given for leaders to emerge from all ranks in the population.
4. Marks of a leader: individual craftsmanship, sensibility, insight, initiative and energy.
5. No sluggards need aspire to leadership. There are passive persons who are content to go through life getting lifts from people who wait until action is forced upon them. They are not leadership material.
6. Leaders get out in front and stay there by raising the standards by which they judge themselves – and by which they are willing to be judged.
7. A love of high quality is essential in a leader.
8. The leader carries with him a sense of idealism – a vision of what might be.
9. The leader will take counsel from others, but will act on what his/her mind says is right. A leader is self-trained out of the fear of making a mistake.
10. The leader acts on probabilities instead of certainties.
11. Leaders need to submit themselves to a stricter discipline than is expected of others. Those who are first in position must be first in merit.
12. Leaders must have the force of character necessary to inspire others to follow with confidence.
13. Leadership motivates people to work for you when they are under no obligation to do so.
14. Leaders must see situations as a whole, as well as in the separate parts.
15. The higher leaders go in management, the more they need refilling because they are constantly giving out.
16. If leaders want to attract people, let others know and believe they are willing to find and share a great purpose in living.
17. Leadership cannot be delegated.
18. Leaders understand how much can be accomplished by people when expectations are real. Only when higher performance is demanded, do we realize the extent of our capabilities.
19. Leaders plan the utilization of skills. Sloppy practices set precedents.
20. Policies and plans are more or less useless unless they are known to all affected.

This week carefully think about: 1) How do I define leadership? 2) Who has most effectively modeled leadership for me? 3)Which of Fred’s one liners particularly hits me?

Words of Wisdom: “The leader carries with him a sense of idealism – a vision of what might be.”

Wisdom from the Word: “‘And in the last days it will be,’ God says, ‘that I will pour out my Spirit on all people, and your sons and your daughters will prophesy, and your young men will see visions, and your old men will dream dreams.’” (Acts 2: 17 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 13, 2019

Fred identified key leadership principles early in his career, but he didn’t stop to write about them until the mid-80s. Having his thoughts captured through articles, notes, and speeches creates an on-going legacy for all of us.

Please pray for the fall BWFLI schedule and those who will be going to Palm Beach Atlantic University for the What’s Next Roundtable. Your financial support is certainly appreciated to underwrite these efforts as the Christian colleges and universities are charged no fees, nor do the team members receive honoraria.

Executive Concepts

I use this as a working definition: “an executive is not a person who can do the work better than the employees; he or she is a person who can get the team to get the work done better than he/she can.” My responsibility is to be a super-visor, not a super-worker. Times of physical inactivity can provide space for strategic thinking. My system requires competence around me. It demands a finely tuned method of selection, development, and motivation.

It is built on the foundation of decisiveness. Not quick draw reactions, but well-trained and disciplined decisions.
Recently, I looked at an organization with problems. I asked the board, “Is our lead horse strong enough to pull the wagon?”

“No,” was their answer.

“Okay, where is the one we need?” That prompted a search, hire, and move forward. I could have approached it differently by saying, “This man we have is sincere. With enough help, he just might make it.” What would be the probable result? Five years pulling with him and then finding out he just couldn’t do the job. A tremendous amount of time and effort would have been wasted, paralyzing the organization. The earlier the make a decision about a failure and cut your losses, the less actual loss.

I once asked a banker, “What do you consider when you make a loan?”

“I always think, never delay a failure with my money.”

People spend endless energy delaying failures. In truth, we see change as catastrophic when it is very often the very door we need. I sent one of our daughters a quote I saw when she was in the midst of change: “I refused to change until it became too painful to stay where I was.” Sometimes growth is forced upon us.

Insurance company executive Roger Hull liked to talk about people who succeed after failing… even seeing the failure as the foundation for success. If you are the head of something and you don’t make it go, that’s your responsibility. If you are not making it, you ought to make a change. If you haven’t got the guts to make the change yourself, then somebody ought to make it for you.

People who wait around trying to find the pleasant, comfortable moment to make difficult decisions are simply kidding themselves. When you know a situation is going wrong, then do something to alleviate it. The answer to most problems is the right people in the right places. (Editor’s note: this was written in the 1980s before the concept became common place.)

This week think about: 1) Where have I grown by making a change, even if painful? 2) How can I help someone else stop delaying failure? 3) When do I slip into super-worker versus super-visor?

Words of Wisdom: “Sometimes growth is forced upon us.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For a child has been born to us, a son has been given to us. He shoulders responsibility and is called: Extraordinary Strategist, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.” (Isaiah 9:6 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 6, 2019

Fred committed much mental and physical energy thinking about Christianity Today, International (CTI). His friendship with Billy Graham began long before the inception of the magazine and his relationship to the work of CTI was on his mind until his death in 2007. Paul Robbins and Harold Myra were great partners in their mutual exhilaration process. They capably activated the “fire hose” of Fred’s thinking. This week’s content is extracted from an interview with Paul. Even though it is nearly 30 years old, the thoughts are contemporary.

www.breakfastwithfred is a senior citizen in the world of digital content. This summer needed repairs were made. Upgrades are currently underway to bwfli.com. Houses, cars, and websites all need maintenance, don’t they? Thanks for your prayerful encouragement. We are grateful for your standing with us throughout these years. It is joyful to serve you while expanding the reach of Fred’s work.

Unpacking Leadership

Paul Robbins (PR), Harold Myra (HM): Fred, you have achieved a great deal in your life. How did you find the time?

Fred: Those of us who divide our efforts, particularly in the more visible activities, may appear to do more, but I doubt it. Frankly, I thought you might ask me why I have done so little, considering Wesley, Napoleon, Churchill, and others who have done so much with their 24 hours. I keep thinking how much Wesley did in such a relatively short life span. I am not being facetious or humble. My rule is to “think use, not amount.” Blaming lack of time can become an escape mechanism.

PR, HM: You always appear so relaxed, even casual, yet there is below the surface a lurking intensity. Does this intensity have a special meaning for you?

Fred: Yes, I guess it does, for it is one of my touchpoints, like a channel marker to a ship captain. Intensity is the boiling point of effort, the concentration of energy, the tip of the welding flame. Most accomplishers have a special ability to develop intensity at the right time over the right issue. Most pros have the ability to maintain a relaxed pose, then snap into action at the right moment. Only amateurs keep jumping up and down all the time like college cheerleaders. Many hardworking people fail to accomplish because the lack intensity at the critical points. Good leaders study situations, identify the critical elements and put additional resources at those points. Occasionally I do a check-up on my intensity level. If I am flat and intense about little, I know I need an adjustment. The people around me and the projects are important to maintaining intensity in good working order. I need people who correctly evaluate and turn up the intensity. Those who can’t can foul up the play or severely limit the options.

PR, HM: What are shorthand clues to your style?

Fred: I try to decide 1) what I’m trying to do, 2) what it takes to do it, and 3) who can I get to do it better than I can. I find summary thoughts helpful to keeping me conscious of goals like: “Results are the only reason for activity.” So many good-intentioned people will spend their time (and try to take mine) telling about the details of the work they are doing. I short-cut this by looking them in the eye and simply saying, “Don’t tell me about the labor pains – show me the baby!”

This week think about: 1) What are some of my key markers for leadership? 2) How apt am I to get bogged down in labor pains? 3) Where is my source of intensity?

Words of Wisdom: “Blaming lack of time can be an escape mechanism.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Trust in him at all times, you people! Pour out your hearts before him! God is our shelter!” (Psalm 62:8 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – May 28, 2019

Fred knew his gifting included communication. His life verse was a paraphrase given to him by an evangelist when he was a teenager… “Take the gift God has given you, and use it, and you will stand before great men.” (Proverbs 18:16) He worked his entire life honing his skills, stewarding his gift, and using them well.

Would you like to participate with BWF in researching how to use Fred’s material in the decision making process? Please email at Brendaasmith@aol.com

Discipline of Communication

Every leader spends a great deal of the day communicating. Many books are written on the techniques, but the emphasis should be on the spirit, not just on the technique. The why, and the who are essential to creating an effective strategy for how and when. If two people want to talk together, it is almost impossible to fail. One of the hindrances to effective communication is the self-centered motivation. Too many are influenced by their desire to impress, not express.

My friend Zig Ziglar speaks before great audiences inspiring and motivating healthy action. When building teams it is essential to understand how to use communication to the highest degree. Jim Collins wrote about going from “good to great” in your organization. Having properly, genuinely motivated employees is a benefit of good communication.

Most leaders are adequate talkers, but inadequate listeners. The ability to listen creatively and positively depends on the leader’s skill development on four levels: 1) the meaning of the words. Often vocabulary is an evidence of experience, education, and background; 2) the choice of words. I have friends with impeccable word usage. They have a wide, diverse repertoire which allows them to be very specific; 3) the sounds of the words. Words are emotionally charged. We can pick up what is going on just by hearing the tone, and rhythm; 4) the sight of the words. I would say this falls into the body language category. What we say is actually seen in our bodily reactions. When we think we are not communicating, our bodies are sending messages.

Most people listen negatively which is simply keeping silent, or reloading while the other one is shooting. Acquiring the skills of active listening guides the talker both in the giving of facts and a display of emotion which permits the listener to evaluate on more than a surface level.

An important point I want to make: communication is mistakenly confused with agreement. I often hear people comment about the solution to all relationship, management, and social problems is “communication.” The emphasis on talking with each other is the answer which will bring agreement. NOT SO! In my experience there are times that fully understanding what the other person is saying brings more disagreement and conflict. Listening, hearing, and understanding are critical to communication but not synonymous with agreement and concord.

This week think about: 1) How well am I doing with communicating to express, not impress? 2) Which of the listening skills is my strength, weakness? 3) What comes to mind as a communication goal this week?

Words of Wisdom: “We should speak to express, not impress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A wise person’s heart makes his speech wise and it adds persuasiveness to his words.” (Proverbs 16:23 NET Bible)