Weekly Thought – March 30, 2021

Fred believed in prayer. Their daughter Brenda remembers seeing him on his knees beside the bed at night before going to sleep. On Mary Alice’s nightstand was a spiral notebook containing her prayer list, kept current with notes, additions, and subtractions.

Please continue praying for the ministry of BWF Project. Thank you for words of encouragement and financial support. Fred’s words only grow in relevance during seasons needing perseverance and wisdom.

Prayer Changes Me

Prayer definitely is a key element in the faith walk…even though I don’t understand it. I pray because it pleases God and changes me. When Mary Alice had brain surgery many friends called to say, “We are praying for Mary Alice and the family.” I started thinking about what effect prayer had on the operation.

First, it created a community of overwhelming love. We felt the care and support of friends. After the Gulf War General Schwarzkopf appeared on Bob Schuller’s Hour of Power program. He said he came just to express appreciation for the tremendous prayers of the American people which the soldiers felt during the military action. “We felt the upholding love and the community it formed around us.”

Many of my doctor friends tell me how importantly related are these feelings of love and the will to live. As Mary Alice prepared to go into surgery, we were all conscious of her strong will to live. The entire family traveled to the Jacksonville Mayo Clinic to be with her. The morning of the operation we traveled caravan style from the hotel to the Clinic. She and I knew in each family car there was much prayer being expressed for her well-being. In ours we were playing the Elvis Presley CD singing gospel hymns – a favorite of ours.

Second, I think the more people who are praying are then inclined to engage in worship, wanting God’s will, and acknowledging His sovereignty. I believe this pleases Him. Did the large number affect God? I certainly believe it pleased Him, but I do not think it affected God’s will for Mary Alice’s surgery. To say that God is impressed or influenced by the number of those praying for something is to humanize Him and make Him into a politician.

Some are tempted to create an environment in which they expect Him to perform. They almost threaten Him with displeasure if a large number gather with a specific desired outcome and He doesn’t grant the request.

Third, well-known people and Christian celebrities have no special standing with God – and no “in” for answered prayer. I often resent those who proudly announce the celebrity status of those praying for their cause. Scripture tells us God is no respecter of persons. It also says the prayer of a righteous individual accomplishes much, but it does not say the number and status of the person is key to that accomplishment. God is just as concerned with the prayer of an orphan in the slums as He is with the most celebrated of individuals. Thankfully, God doesn’t operate according to our social pecking order.

Our prayer pleases God and changes me by aligning me with God, not Him with us. It creates a community of love, and an opportunity for corporate worship. It is the unseen, but clearly experienced vertical and horizontal connection. In prayer we are wired to Him and to each other.

This week carefully consider: 1) What wrong thinking have I cultivated about prayer? 2) Who is the subject of my most fervent prayer this week? 3) How has God changed me through prayer?

Words of Wisdom: “Prayer definitely is a key element in the faith walk.”

Wisdom from the Word: “With every prayer and petition, pray at all times in the Spirit, and to this end be alert, with all perseverance and petitions for all the saints.” (Ephesians 6:18 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – November 24, 2020

Fred dedicated his life to learning – and encouraging others to grow. Before it was a popular phrase, Fred exemplified the “lifelong learner.” He believed part of the answer of God’s purpose for our lives is identifying where we hunger for deeper understanding.

Evidences of an Educated Heart

One evidence of an educated heart is the realization of self-worth. I like to hear a Christian say, “I feel good about myself.” Understanding the difference between self-worth and self-esteem is critical. We can appreciate who we are because we are given gifts by God.

A friend of mine who is a professor at a Catholic university told me “true dignity happens when genuine pride and genuine humility unite.” We in the evangelical community think of pride and humility as being antonyms when actually they are two sides of the same coin. Don’t you feel you can be justly proud of being a child of God – a member of the family.

A wealthy business friend in Boston with his wife invited a young girl living on the streets to move in with them for a year. Each night after dinner he would repeat the catechism he developed for her. “Why does God love you?” She would answer “Not because I am good but because I am precious.” Then he asked, “Why are you precious?” “Because Christ died for me” was the response. I told that story to an audience in East Texas. Afterwards a small woman in her 80s came up and said, “Thank you. All my life I wanted to be precious and now I know I am.”

You unite that pride with genuine humility and you have a truly educated heart. I like to define humility as “not denying the power you have but admitting it comes through you and not from you.” Denying the gift is lying; attributing it to God is truth telling. Some people think they are showing humility by bad-mouthing themselves. That is disrespecting God. In this we dignify what God has given.

Another evidence of an educated heart is a homing sense. That is, a sense for home. Just as the homing pigeon never loses their direction the educated heart never loses the sense of the Father’s house and our spiritual home. It is too easy to get lost chasing the dollar, or fame, or even service. Christians will be brought back through the homing instinct built into us by the Spirit.

I once met a CEO who talked about climbing the corporate ladder and putting his faith aside as not applicable to his business life. As he made decisions he started to see a relationship between the good decisions and the “old time religious principles” he learned growing up. He told me he finally made the decision to “come home” and realign himself with his faith.

An educated heart understands that he or she may have tremendous success, piloting bigger and bigger ships in larger and larger waters. But the largest vessel still bows to the instruction of the lighthouse. Never neglect the lighthouse in your harbor which marks your way home.

This week carefully consider: 1) How clear am I on my God-given gifts? 2) What reminds me that I am precious to God? 3) How strong is my homing instinct?

Words of Wisdom: “Humility is not denying the power you have, but admitting it comes through you and not from you.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not let mercy and truth leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart.” (Proverbs 3:3 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – November 17. 2020

Fred worked hard all his life. He grew up in the home of a Baptist preacher in the mill district of North Nashville. He understood the relationship between effort and results. He didn’t live asking for miracles to “fill in the gaps” created by the wish ethic. He believed strongly in the work ethic.

The God of Process

I’m disturbed by the number of people who talk about God as a miracle worker. I believe in the miracles of the Bible. I believe that He is capable of miracles today. But I do not believe the majority of His work is done miraculously. All that He does have wonder and awe; but I am leery of those that use miracle I the sense of “I am special.” I have encountered young people who are eager to tell me they’ve had two miracles in the morning and are looking for another in the afternoon. Spiritual immaturity.

On the other hand, we have those who believe that everything can be done by devotion alone. By that I mean a verse of scripture and a rote prayer substitute for hard work. I believe in devotion; I practice devotion. Too often those who espouse this formulaic mindset come up to me with a very pious tone to tell me, “Brother Fred if you are in trouble, read Job. Tell me and I will put you on my prayer list.” I am thankful to be on prayer lists, but I don’t believe in this simplistic approach. I believe problems need to be analyzed and answers found. A sad example is my good friend whose “devotional” wife took away his medication needed for a serious stomach ailment telling him he just needed to pray more. I don’t believe God works that way.

The danger of making everything miracle based is that it is egocentric. Too many who lean on devotion are actually operating from denial and escapism. I am convinced they are looking for the product while ignoring the process.
Here are a few principles I find for process thinking:

1) We are positioned in grace, through faith; we share the glory of God by His gift.
2) We are to rejoice in sufferings for trials and many times fiery trials) will come. We don’t rejoice in anticipation, but in participation. Paul rejoiced as he shared in the sufferings of Jesus.
3) Suffering brings endurance. My Mother, who brought five boys out of the slums would say at family devotional time: “Be not weary in well doing, for in due season you shall reap if you faint not.” She was tired. She was doing constant work, even in ill health. But she was determined to bring the boys out of the slums. Let me say to you mothers: she paid a price for that, but even in today’s affluent (especially in today’s materialistic culture) you are paying a price to raise Godly children, as well. Endurance is not measured by a balance sheet.
4) Character comes from endurance. I didn’t say personality, but character. God isn’t interested in building sparkling personas but in conforming our inner core to that of His Son.
5) Hope is a quality that permits my friend Steve Brown to say as he hangs up our frequent phone calls: “Hang tough; hang in there, babe.”
6) The ultimate object of hope is the unconditional love of God.

His process moves us from grace through faith to His unconditional love – not a bad way to invest our lives!

This week think carefully about: 1) How often do I slack on the effort and then expect a miracle? 2) How clearly do I understand the passage from salvation to glorification? 3) What excites me right now about being a Christian?

Words of Wisdom: “The problem with miracle-based thinking is that it is egocentric.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Colossians 6:9 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – November 10, 2020

Fred believed in maturity and the growth process. He thought and wrote often about personal and spiritual development. He lightly regarded any systems which were “overnight success stories.” Faith, as other aspects of his life, was grounded in principles.

Promoting Spiritual Growth

Several years ago a friend was in deep trouble, even facing bankruptcy. He asked a pastor friend to pray for him. Before praying, the pastor said, “I will pray if you will promise me you won’t be mad at God even if you go bankrupt.” My friend told me that was the beginning of his serious spiritual growth.

Not only should we avoid being mad at God during adverse times, but we should also avoid the “spoiled brat” syndrome expecting God to protect us from the normal problems of life. Wanting God to make exceptions for us is immature.

A top executive came to me during a business downturn saying, “Why me? I have been a good Christian. I don’t drink, smoke, or chase women.” I don’t think those behaviors define “good Christian.” A more mature attitude would be “why not me?” We can’t expect a pass from human troubles.

It is important to develop a right image of God. Lecturing at a conservative seminary one of the students approached me and said, “Mr. Smith, God has me right where he wants me.” “Where is that?” “Broke,” was his answer. “My wife and I have a son. Do you think that is the way we want him to think about me as his father?” This improper view of God hampered his spiritual development. Ray Stedman said his life turned around when he found out “God is for me.”

Another key element of spiritual growth is a proper concept of how God works. God’s plan for us is conforming and transforming us. He has a purpose and is not an absentee landlord.

Phil Yancey, in his book Disappointment with God, writes of questions people often ask “Is the Father listening to me?” “Can He be trusted?” “Does He even exist?” I am convinced God is not afraid of these questions. Too many Christians believe they have to protect God. His integrity is worthy of every challenge. Learning to appreciate God’s silence is part of promoting our growth. Oftentimes in the depths we feel like God is silent, not giving us clear direction. God’s delays are not God’s denials. True faith does not require sight and sound productions of Hollywood proportions. Oswald Chambers says “God honors us with His silence.” Faith is an act, not just a theological concept.

The deep-rooted answers come through the struggle. He is serious about our growth so we shouldn’t be surprised at the process.

This week seriously consider: 1) How am I doing in my spiritual development? 2) What is He working on in me right now? 3) When He is silent, how do I respond?

Words of Wisdom: “Wanting God to make exceptions for us is immature.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So that you may live worthily of the Lord and please him in all respects – bearing fruit in every good deed, growing in the knowledge of God.” (Colossians 1:10 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 20, 2020

Fred emphasized learning as a critical element in maturity and healthy living. One of his friends told him, “Fred, you should go to bed each night knowing less than you knew when you woke up.” He meant we should recognize the vastness of knowledge, never thinking we have mastered it.

During this year the BWFLI campus visits were put on hold. Plans are being made for 2021 and a format which will allow students nationwide to participate through ZOOM and other online chat platforms. Please continue to pray. Thank you for your ongoing support.

Expanded Realization of God

A dilemma arises when thinking about what life in Christ means. I feel smaller as the realization of my Christian identity increases. It never makes me feel bigger but always smaller, and we live in a society that resists anything that reduces our individual identity. An interesting thing happens as I feel smaller, I feel more a part of the Christ-life. I fit in better.

As I increase my realization of God I also increase my ignorance and so the focus moves from knowledge to ignorance for on the periphery of expanded knowledge is always increased ignorance. This ignorance that gives me my excitement and expectation. It is not reviewing what I know but learning what I don’t know that makes life exciting.

1) I am a living soul. One of the most important people in my life was an illiterate woman who worked in a cotton mill for $2.50 a week and lived in a little row house. Shortly before Mrs. Carter died she said, “Fred, pretty soon you’ll hear that Mrs. Carter is dead. Don’t believe it. I’ll be more alive than I’ve ever been in all my life.” I believe that. This living soul of hers and mine will live eternally. This is too big for me to comprehend, but it is the first consideration of my Christian identity.

2) I am a child of God. I am more than a servant, more than a representative, not merely a creature of God, but through the new birth in Christ I am a child of God. Jesus is my brother. I am now a member of the family.

3) My body is the temple of the Spirit – “Christ in you, the hope of glory.” This is the story of Pentecost. This is what the disciples waited for. The spirit is resident, not a consultant. Nor a visitor, but a permanent resident. The spirit is the enabler who lets me say “I can get divine help.” The spirit’s filling means I can be fulfilled. I can overcome temptation, for none comes my way that doesn’t also bring at least one escape hatch and exit ramp. The spirit facilitates conversation with God. And it lets me verify truth by the “witness of the spirit.”

4) I am a witness – We too often talk about giving a witness, meaning a testimony. But life in Christ makes me a living witness. I can wish I were not a witness or even try not to be a witness. I can be a bad witness, but all the same – I am a witness. My friend JoyLynn Hailey Reed, the PhD professor says, “You cannot not communicate.” If you are His, you are a witness to what you are becoming.

This week think about: 1) What shows me how my realization of God is enlarging? 2) Which of Fred’s points can be lived out this week? 3) How am I strengthening my witness for Christ?

Words of Wisdom: “We too often talk about giving a witness, meaning a testimony. But life in Christ makes me a living witness.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He came as a witness to testify about the light, so that everyone might believe through him.”(John 1:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 15, 2020

Fred-in-the-Bed was a weekly event drawing anywhere from 17 to 36 participants who listened to his accumulated “dialysis university” thinking. Chairs were placed around his hospital-style bed and he held court. He taught for 90 minutes, enjoying every single minute! The binder of notes from 2004 and 2005 assembled by Donna Skell and JoyLynn Hailey Reed reflect the breadth of his thinking. The cover of the binder bears a metal plate with the words: “a teacher inspires.” This is the third of five excerpts featured in September, his birthday month.

November 27, 2004 Fred in the Bed, part 3

“We should have the feeling of progressing in life,” There are five disciplines in life:

a) Financial – Money is important because it gives you options, Money is like blood in the body. “I make blood to live; I don’t live to make blood.” It is healthy to live on 80% of annual income. When Mary Alice and I married we had $5.00. I always kid her saying if she wanted more, she should have saved more! We committed to living on 50% of our income until we had a year’s income in the bank. We believed in giving 10% as a minimum and definitely saving at least 10%.

Learn the difference between saving, investment, and speculation. Investment is playing WITH the odds, Speculation is playing AGAINST the odds. Make friends of compound interest. Don’t spend interest, invest it.

We used the rule of putting deposits in our “memory bank…” We invested in experiences through travel, associating with interesting people, and education. We knew that children learn financial management based on what they see their parents do.

b) Physical – I laughingly say my favorite form of exercise is stopping by my favorite donut shop, parking on Willow Lane, and watching my friends run the track at The Cooper Center. I have been blessed with good health until my kidneys decided they needed extra attention 3x a week. Childhood exposure to lead based paint slowly deteriorated their functioning. I am not disabled by dialysis, but only “delightfully dependent.”

c) Mental and associations – My good friend Charlie “Tremendous” Jones likes to say “Except for the people you meet, the places you go, and the books you read, you will be the same person in 5 years as you are today.” I know travel, reading, and associations are the pillars of my development plan.

d) Emotional – Maturity is stretching your wheelbase. Think of going over a road bump in a Smart Car then think about going over in a stretch limousine…what a difference. In the Smart Car you almost climb the bump with front and back wheels simultaneously. The limo gives a long space between front and back. Children’s emotions change from laughing to crying in just moments… they have a very short wheel base. My grandson Jeff Horch and his wife have a baby son named Jack. When he starts fussing they say to him, “Jack, SYW!” meaning stretch your wheelbase.

e) Spiritual – Know what you believe. Know what your standard of belief and truth is. I accept the Bible as the compass which indicates true north. I can wander through various intellectual forests, but still find my way home if the Bible is my source and guide. Have a clear answer for “who do you say I am?”

This week carefully think about: 1) Which of the disciplines requires significant thought? 2) How do I build memories with my family? 3) How would I measure my life progress?

Words of Wisdom: “I never think of myself as disabled, just delightfully dependent.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, will give you spiritual wisdom and revelation in your growing knowledge of him.” (Ephesians 1:17 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 8, 2020

Fred experienced four hospitalizations which were predicted to usher him from earth to heaven. Each time he recovered, returned home, and continuing stretching and blessing. After an early one he spent a restless, frustrating weekend. His daughter in whose house he lived realized this pattern would drive the both crazy. She called dear friend Ed Yates saying, “Dad is definitely not satisfied with no activity. Would you invite some friends and come by next Saturday?” Ed began a Saturday tradition which continued until his death. Because chairs were placed around him as he lay elevated, but horizontal, it became known as Fred in the Bed. Donna Skell and JoyLynn Hailey Reed compiled their notes for two years as a gift for his 90th birthday. During his birthday month of September the compilation will be excerpted.

August 21, 2004 Fred in the Bed, part two

Fred talked about stress quoting St. Avalon “The imagination is the fool of the house.” So much of our stress comes from imagination, My ancient mystic friend Francois Fenelon says when we move away from gratitude for today and imagining a better tomorrow we are “insulting the opportunities of today.”

How do you maintain inner strength during stressful periods?

A helpful metaphor is a submarine. As the ship goes down the pressure (strength) inside needs to increase to counter-balance the pressure outside. When we are in stressful seasons we must make sure our internal strength is adequate to offset the external forces pushing against us.

Anger also produces stress. Have you ever known people whose lives seemed to have a thin veneer of civility and calm yet once the surface was scratched anger bubbled up like a volcano? Because of my love for food I also like the picture of Crème Brulee. The crust is thin and fragile. Once punctured the custard is exposed (and in my case, quickly consumed). Stress and anger go hand in glove.

I am convinced there are two types of stress: vertical and horizontal. The vertical is healthy because it pulls you up, Think of a flower on a stem. Without turgor pressure the stem droops. Without the fluids pushing through the cells the flower dies, We can grow limp, as well, One of the best examples is the sense of awe (reverential fear) of God.

Horizontal stresses pull us apart and create damage. Designing our lives to meet others’ demands and standards is horizontal. All the current talk about self-image leads to horizontal stress. We want to have a clear definition of self-worth because we were bought by God through the work of Christ. That is settled and doesn’t change just by what others think or say.

In our competitive society there is a prevailing stress – the fear of losing. The losing by our choosing stresses us. When we make one decision we give up other options. These are the “Y”points. Marriage and career are two of the biggest examples. One of the pitfalls of our current day is buyer’s remorse. “If I choose the left fork and it grows dull, I opt out and choose another road.” The stress of always looking around for the better option steals the joy of commitment.

This week carefully consider: 1) If I were immobilized how would I use my time to benefit others? 2) How clear am I on the differentiation between vertical and horizontal stress? 3) What is creating unhealthy stress in my life right now?

Words of Wisdom: “Scripture emphasizes shelter, refuge, and shadow as roles of God… great antidotes for stress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one true God acts in a faithful manner; the LORD’s promise is reliable; he is a shield to all who take shelter in him.” (2 Samuel 22:31 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 25, 2020

Fred encouraged pastors for he knew the pressures they faced. He watched his pastor Father minister to suffering men and women throughout the Depressions of the 1920s and 30s. He and Mary Alice were never members of a congregation without befriending the pastor and his family. This final excerpt from the address to a large Pastors’ Conference summarizes his last points.

A Layman Looks To His Pastor, part four

Depression is a natural ailment in the ministry. I have great compassion for this struggle. The nearer one gets to God the ore Satan fights. The sharpest arrows come to the most potent soldiers.

I have spoken to you about the pastoral responsibilities to the congregation. Encouraging you all is a primary responsibility of each congregant. Charles Spurgeon urged each member to include the pastor in daily prayer.

I was told a pastor’s wife once spoke to Mother Teresa when she was in Washington, DC. “What can I do to make a difference in my husband’s life and ministry?” The Sister with great compassion took the woman’s face between her gnarled hands and sweetly said to her, “Love your husband and children.”

Sometimes pastors just need enough encouragement to take the next step. Don’t you think we often need a pit stop more than a pep rally?

For good measure I am going to give you a 10th point:

10) I want my pastor to have a spirit of participating in the Body of Christ, not as an organization, but as an organism. I am a proponent of denominations because they decentralize power. A centralized church tends to become a political church. Control leads to ownership, not to stewardship.

However I want him to have fellowship with those who bear different denominational badges. I like the picture of heaven with John Wesley, John Calvin, Martin Luther gathered around a table sharing stories.

I don’t want my pastor creating tribal loyalties which exclude other faith traditions. When I hear Christian leaders criticizing others I like to ask, “Are they going to be in heaven?” Their positive response prompts me to say, “What right do you have to beat up on another member of the Body of Christ?” When there is legitimate need for doctrinal discussion in love we should try to be corrective, but not destructive.

Like the English priest who guided me through the Roman catacombs said, “My brother, it is not the form that separates us but the blessed hope of the resurrection which unites us.”

This list isn’t designed to create the “total pastor,” rather stimulate thought and conversation. I believe such conversation can contribute to a pastor’s finding accomplishment, meaning, and challenge enough for a lifetime of faithful ministry.

This week think about: 1) How can I encourage my pastor this week? 2) What would I add to Fred’s list? 3) As a pastor, what can I do to strengthen my congregation?

Words of Wisdom: “Sometimes pastors just need enough encouragement to take the next step.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For everything that was written in former times was written for our instruction, so that through endurance and through encouragement of the scriptures we may have hope.” (Romans 15:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 18, 2020

Fred believed life’s changes were built around what a person reads, where they travel, and their associations. He spent his life desiring to stretch others, but also being stretched. This excerpt from a speech to a pastors’ conference displays Fred’s ability to distill key principles, delivering them in a manner which motivated much note-taking. This week we cover points eight and nine.

As our friends in Christian higher education prepare to return to school, please pray with them. They face challenges beyond the normal ones of semester transition. The students are working on their education during a time of cultural upheaval and social disarray. The administrators, faculty, and staff are joined together to provide excellence in academics and faith development.

A Layman Looks To His Pastor, part three

8) I want my pastor to lead the development of community within the local church. Ray Stedman, pastor of Peninsula Bible Church in California introduced the policy of unanimity for elder decisions. When he first told me I thought it wasn’t necessary, but the closer I got to the situation I understood the wisdom of his policy. This was a solid way to build community within the elder board and the congregation.

We live in such a fractured world. Our cities are not friendly, oftentimes our workplaces are unfriendly (and even toxic), and sadly our homes are not safe haven but seriously dysfunctional. The fellowship of believers should provide a harmonious environment where no one has to play politics or join cliques. I am convinced churches which operate like this will attract people who see the Gospel creates a group who accept and bless.

In my experience each organization needs someone who serves as the glue and the leader of community building. I want my pastor to consider community a high priority.

9) I would like for my pastor to be a resource to the membership… and not just a resource to rehash current reading materials, TV shows, or movies. I don’t go to church to be caught up on cultural trends. I want my pastor to be a resource for spiritual refueling. I want to be responsible for using my gifts and look to my pastor to enable me to maximize my effectiveness. A pastor friend who is very mechanical identifies his role as knowing his congregation and the tools necessary for them to live out their callings. He verbalizes his role as knowing the tools in the garage well enough to put them in the hands of each congregant for each particular job that needs to be done. He calls himself an equipper.

These points demonstrate a key principle: I want my pastor to be in the “hope business.” The world is desperately in need of our pastors to preach the light and life of Christ. We hear from commentators about how lost the world is and how subject we are to disillusionment and depression. I want my pastor to know the reality of faith and transmit that to the congregation week by week. I want the God he serves to be bigger than any world government, or malevolent regime.

This week think carefully about: 1) How can I participate in building community within my church? 2) What can I do this week to speak hope to others? 3) Who can I join with to bring growth to my church?

Words of Wisdom: “In my experience each organization needs someone who serves as the glue and the leader of community building. I want my pastor to consider community a high priority.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Each of you should be concerned not only about your own interests, but about the interests of others as well.” (Philippians 2:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 11, 2020

Fred respected the office of pastor. His desire to include his pastors in the personal goal of stretching others created long-term relationships. This week we continue our excerpting of Fred’s A Layman Looks To His Pastor. It is our prayer pastors and other ministry leaders in our BWF community experience growth and blessing as they read.

A Layman Looks To His Pastor, part two

(Fred spoke to a pastors’ conference and outlined nine ideas he shared with his pastor. The masculine pronoun is used by Fred. The editor recognizes the role of women in ministry, but did not change it to stay true to Fred’s writing in a different historical context).

4) I would like my pastor to trust me enough to let me be myself around him so that he can be himself around me. Maintaining images can alienate us from one another. A layman recently commented, “I cannot believe how my friends change when they are with the pastor.” Certainly I am not advocating total intimacy and transparency with everyone for this is dangerous. But I do support reality in relationships and wisdom in what is shared and with whom.

5) I would hope my pastor would maintain personal spiritual vitality so that his sure belief would be a candle in any darkness we all face. But also, that he would recognize when I let down on my spiritual disciplines and stopped growing. Spiritual vitality cannot be gained through osmosis. We all want to have associations with vibrant Christians, but we can’t lean on them for our own life of faith. There was a time in my early adulthood I depended on the Christian experience of a friend, even though my own experience was real. I vividly remember when he confronted me saying, “Fred, get off my spiritual back!” I was sucking him dry because my own walk was arid. God doesn’t want us to live through others, but through the Spirit driven relationship.

6) I want my pastor to know truth, not just the facts of faith. Just as information is not knowledge, and knowledge is not wisdom, so facts and word studies do not adequate express the truth of the revelation God gave in Christ. Father Hesburgh when President of Notre Dame was asked to sit on the board of Chase Manhattan Bank by David Rockefeller. When Father Hesburgh laughed, saying he didn’t even have a bank account, Rockefeller responded “There will be times when we will need to know the truth and for that we will turn to you.” He accepted the position.

7) I would want my pastor to not act humble, but actually be humble. I have always used the definition of humility as: “not denying the power, but admitting it comes through you and not from you.” My son, Fred, recently gave me another one that I like very much: “Accepting your strength with gratitude.” I like to see my pastor receive compliments with graciousness that bespeaks humility. Francois Fenelon said to his friend “Accept the compliments of worthy people as the blessing of God.”

This week carefully consider: 1) Which idea would be a good conversation starter with your pastor? 2) As a pastor or ministry leader, which point most interests you? 3) How can we use Fred’s idea to truly encourage our pastors?

Words of Wisdom: “God doesn’t want us to live through others, but through the Spirit drive relationship.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The fear of the LORD provides wise instruction, and before honor comes humility.” (Proverbs 15:33 NET Bible)