Weekly Thought – February 25, 2014

Fred enjoyed laughter as “life lubricant.”  As he aged, he believed humor was one of the key elements of aging well.  And part of the freedom of laughter is the ability to let go of slights given by others. 

Praying with us as we go forward with the work of Fred Smith, Sr. encourages and strengthens us. Thank you.

Enmity Toward Us

While we can avoid enmity toward others, we cannot control others’ enmity toward us. When we find we have an enemy, we can take a healthy review.

There are several reasons others dislike us. Here are a few:

1) Our involvement in a cause.  Cliff Barrows of the Billy Graham team once told me that they are well received, but there is always the offense of the Cross.  In war times we see lines drawn creating political enemies.  The poignant book, All Quiet on the Western Front showed the pathos of war.

2) Being different from others.  Some people just don’t like anything “foreign.”  We had a home in another state for years.  There was a clear feeling we were “flat landers” and not truly accepted.  I asked a local how long we would have to be there before we were accepted as one of them.  “Oh, about 50 years, I’d say.”

3) Our self-centeredness. We are selfish by nature.  The paradox of Christianity is that we are to be servants of all.  We are to use our time and talents not just for ourselves, but for others to the glory of God.      (more…)

Weekly Thought – February 18, 2014

Fred spent little time holding on to grudges.  He understood the proper role of those who are enemies and the power of “staying in the state of forgiveness.”  At age five, Fred lost the use of his right hand.  Through childhood he was limited in his physical activities and was exposed to taunting.  He chose to view his disability as a “fact of life, not a problem” because “a fact of life is something you cannot change; a problem is something you can solve.” 

Planning is underway for two Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institutes: Palm Beach Atlantic University in February and Taylor University in April.  Please join with us in prayer.

Bearing An Enemy’s Burden

The acid of enmity is a heavy burden.  Being commanded to “bear one another’s burdens,” we bear an enemy’s burden of hatred toward us as one way of helping them with their burden…for certainly hatred is a burden.

When I am with a man who dislikes me, I can forget his hatred of me as soon as I leave – but he has to carry it with him always.  As I pray for him to have a lighter burden, I pray to have a lighter enemy.

Most of us would like to be more objective in our evaluation of people.  We respect those who can truly and sanely differentiate between the strength and weaknesses of others.  Nowhere are we tested more in this than in objectively evaluating our enemies.

I remember wartime posters which depicted the political enemy as a demented animal, leering out at us who were clearly God’s chosen people.  We forget that the posters in their countries see us in the same evil way.      (more…)

Weekly Thought – February 4, 2014

Fred was a pragmatist and a realist. He never allowed himself to discount the value of a difficulty. His famous “Never lose the good of a bad situation” emphasizes his analytical nature. Nothing was wasted. When most chose to wall off the influence of enemies, Fred studied their impact…to the good.

The final preparations for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute events at Palm Beach Atlantic University are moving at top speed. Please check out www.bwfli.com to get a taste of PBA. Continue praying for team members Al Angell, John Begley, Hartzel Black, Ron Cunningham, Krish Dhanam, Marianne Dodge, Jim Hailey, Garry Kinder,Tanya Magnus, Mark Modesti, Jack Murphy, Joe Petersen, JJ Prendamano, Cliff and Marie Shiepe, Keith and Carolyn Stonehocker, Kat Van Dusen, Pat Walters, Dan Williams, and Brenda A. Smith.

The Blessing of Enemies

It is difficult to say, “Thank you for enemies,” but if we are thankful in everything, then we must. There is value in opposition. There is nothing that makes us take stock or do self-evaluation than the awareness someone thoroughly dislikes us. Knowing someone believes the world would be better off without us challenges our faith and our character.

Our command to love our enemies is uncommon. The historian Michael N. Hart says that Christianity enjoys one of its finest distinctives in loving our enemies. In most world religions, revenge is not just supported, but commanded.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – January 14, 2014

Fred took seriously his responsibilities to his friends and peers.  He refused to slide when it came to making a contribution to a group.  He believed our gifts were given to be helpful – and to be developed.

Part of Fred’s uniqueness was his ability to distill information into pithy, punchy “one-liners.”  We now call them Fred Saids.  On the breakfastwithfred.com website over 300 are archived.  If you are a twitter fan, would you join our volunteer team of tweeters by choosing your favorites and sharing them with your followers?  Thanks so much.

Owing Our Peers

I have a responsibility to my peers – to be an individualist.

Oftentimes when I am on college campuses, I ask how many consider themselves non-conformists.  Typically, 75 to 95% raise their hands. Laughter usually breaks out.  Very few admit to being a conformist because it is socially acceptable to think “outside the box.”  When people uphold their right “to be me,” it has a connotation of revolutionary, but   conformist.

Actually, the conformist and non-conformist have the same personality type for they are both outer directed.  They both work to discern where the “in” line is — one to stand within and the other to stand without.  I once knew a young executive woman who told me she loved boundaries.  This surprised me for her personality didn’t reflect compliance.  Then she explained, “Boundaries show me where the outside is.”  She and her more rule-oriented associates are actually closer than either would admit.      (more…)

Weekly Thought – January 7, 2014

Fred enjoyed studying social patterns; He also enjoyed swimming against the stream. In his later years comfort won out over style. He attended breakfasts at the Dallas Country Club attired in his plaid flannel pajamas. He focused on what he had to offer, not on winning “best dressed awards.” Fred separated himself from image, function, and status.

Thank you to all who continue to support our efforts. The distribution list for the Weekly Thought grows. Would you recommend our wisdom and leadership email to friends this week? Help us expand the reach.

Pressured by Peers

Peers come in groups. Seldom are they developed individually. We move into neighborhoods, join a Sunday School class, associate with a business group, or join a social network…all come with a collection of peers. And each establishes its own set of values and mores.

We like to think of peer pressure as something applicable to only teens, but we never move totally away from it. Here are a few examples:

1) We change the way we handle being “in” and being “out,” but the definitions still exist. Political organizations punish those who oppose them when they are in power. Social groups create membership parameters based on who belongs.

2) Clothes are a measure of peer acceptance. My family believes I missed this social gene. While on vacation in Colorado at a restaurant we regularly frequented, the friendly waitress greeted me with, “Well, Mr. Smith, I see you dressed yourself today!” Too often we are constrained to dress like our peers.    (more…)

Weekly Thought – December 17, 2013

Fred thought in categories. His gift of clear thinking was aided by his mental filing system. Long before computers, he had his own storage and retrieval process. He created major categories (philosophy, psychology, theology, for example) and when he read, or conversed, he mentally filed the information into one of his categories. When he needed to retrieve, he accessed the proper file. Many of Fred’s mentorees modeled this system.

One of Fred’s favorite quotes was, “Gratitude is the emotion with the longest shelf life.” We, at BWF, want you to know how truly grateful we are for you. The Weekly Thoughts give us an opportunity to share Fred’s words, and his heart. Thank you for your ongoing encouragement.

Models for Living

While our heroes teach us to be, our models help us to do. Models teach us to achieve the best use of our talents; models teach us how to link our passions to our activity.

Early on, I developed this purpose statement: “I have been given a talent; therefore, I am responsible for using it for the common good of my society and for the glory of God.” One of my first challenges was to determine my dominant talent.

Our philosophy of function is critical for a productive life. My personal belief is that service is the rent we pay for the space we occupy. And, the better the space, the higher the rent. We should never complain about the service expected of us. The Scripture reminds us, “To whom much has been given, much is required.” No one inherits rent-free life space.

Poachers on life’s territory eventually are dispossessed and exposed as frauds. We often hear, “There is no free lunch.” I firmly believe there is no free space. If you aren’t paying the rent, someone else is. It is our moral obligation to contribute.       (more…)

Weekly Thought – November 26, 2013

Fred was asked about his recommendations for personal growth.  He answered, “Books, travel, and associations.”  He believed we stretched ourselves and others through what we read, new experiences, and associating with interesting people.  He always wanted to be the “smallest one in the group.”  He said it took great ego control, but it also enabled him to develop.

On this Thanksgiving week, it is most appropriate for us to express our profound gratitude to each member of our Breakfast With Fred community.  Your emails, your calls, your financial donations, and most of all — your prayer support allows us to continue our work.  When the BWF Project started, we established three goals: expand the reach, deepen the impact, and preserve the work.  You allow us to do all of that!

Meaningful Associations

Associations make a broader person.  Most of them don’t just happen- they need to be planned.  The “birds of a feather flock together” isn’t always the best formula for profitable, purposeful associations.

Character is the foundation upon which worthwhile association are built.  Choosing the right people can create strong building blocks.  Here are some of the positive traits of healthy associations:

1) Integrity – the person consistently seeks to do what is right

2) Love of Truth – We must all search for truth, for it isn’t always on the surface.  It helps to be in the company of those who know and respect the truth.      (more…)

Weekly Thought – October 29, 2013

Fred’s understanding of human nature resulted from lifelong study and observation.  He found patterns in thinking and behavior.  He talked of the modus operandi – the method of operation.  He strongly believed in finding the basis from which our life’s philosophy derives.

The tenth year of Breakfast With Fred is nearing its completion.  In these years a website, a book, hundreds of weekly thoughts, and eight Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institutes have touched thousands worldwide.  Beginning during Fred’s lifetime, the work goes on striving to expand, deepen, and preserve.  Thank you for supporting us. We are reader-supported and we are currently having a critical fundraising drive. Your help is needed.

Clarify Your Thinking

Behind every plan of action, every commitment of time, and energy should be a solid philosophical base.  From it comes our answer to “why?”  Why should I be a leader?  Why should I pay the price of success?  Why not stay where it is comfortable?  Why push ahead risking failure?

Is it just for ego?  Or do I feel I have been given a talent, an opportunity, and I don’t want to miss to excitement of worthwhile accomplishment?  Do I see this accomplishment can be made in any period of my life?     (more…)

Weekly Thought-October 22, 2013

Fred was blessed with a network of friends who strengthened him and lived out the “iron sharpening iron.”  He gathered a cadre of truth-tellers who walked in integrity.  He knew who he wanted to be and chose an inner circle of those who, like him, understand their gifts and their missions.

As October nears a close, we thank you for your support.  These Weekly Thoughts are a unique way of continuing Fred’s legacy.  Please continue to share ways they are meaningful and helpful. Breakfast With Fred is reader-supported and we are asking you to support us with donations large or small at this important time. If you receive encouragement from these emails, we need the encouragement from you in the form of your support.

Who You Are Meant to Be

We are in a time when ne’er-do-wells (particularly young ones) persist in saying, “Love me for myself!”  When I hear that I think of the sign in the store, “Sold as is.”  That always denotes damage to the product or something that reduces value.  I want to see people striving to fulfill their gifts, not sitting idly by accepting “as is.”     (more…)