Weekly Thought – June 27, 2023

Fred thought a great deal about maturity and health. He believed a key element was self-control and emotional discipline. In true Fred-style he recorded his thoughts into his faithful “Dictaphone” ready for assistant Margie’s faithful transcription.

The Helpful Emotion of Excitement

There is very little wrong with me that excitement won’t cure. It is one of my most necessary emotions. Without it life is flat and boring. I become negative, lethargic, and difficult to live with. Excitement gives me energy and urgency. With it I have purpose and emphasis. Therefore, I am careful to keep exciting things happening in all areas of my life. Often I ask others what they are excited about. Sometimes they are dead quiet – and seem to be happy with that answer. But my battery gets weak without excitement.

Fortunately, I find many, many things to create this energy. For example, learning new things, meeting new people with common interests, developing other people, starting new projects while avoiding the administration of them, wrestling with strange ideas, exploring theories which I question, thinking up techniques that spring from common principles, analyzing problems and writing out the individual segments. You have your own list- I just wanted to give you examples of what generates energy and excitement for me.

You may note I said I take responsibility for my own excitement. Too often I hear people complain about boredom whether it is in marriage, school, or career. To me that says the person isn’t willing to work to create excitement… they depend on circumstances or their associates. That is too random and haphazard for me. Just as I must plan and work to provide necessary money so I must plan the necessary emotional stimulation for healthy living. The right amount of excitement seldom comes at th right time without proper planning.

Productive excitement isn’t that of a competitive ball game with all the whooping and hollering. It is the constant surge of energy which makes us want to keep going. It is focusing on the factors which move me (and you) in the direction of maturity. Excitement can be spontaneous, but it is also best understood as intentional.

This week think carefully about: 1) How purposeful am I about maintaining healthy excitement? 2) What is on my “creates emotional energy” list? 3) How do I demonstrate choosing vitality?

Words of Wisdom: “You may note I said I take responsibility for my own excitement.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people. (Colossians 3:23 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 20,2023

Fred strongly believed in the impact of the “as you go” Christian faith. He often spoke of the verse which told us Jesus went about doing good. Making the Christian life natural and normal was a key principle.

Doing Good

Setting out to achieve great good is a hollow goal. The measurement is most often long term and rarely can we neatly organize our lives into Large Good and Small Good.

I want to give you two examples (among many) of people living out what was said in scripture that Jesus went about doing good. He didn’t make these acts the focus of His ministry. He came to bring the message of salvation and be our sacrifice for sin. The good was an outgrowth of His “going about.”

The story of Steve Largent was featured in a Fellowship of Christian Athletes magazine. His father deserted the family when he was six. His mother remarried a man who was an alcoholic. He often came home from school and had to separate his brother and step-father who were constantly fighting. He went out very little after school, but he heard about a teenage group which served cookies and punch. The draw of getting away from the turmoil at home and the offer of cookies and punch drew him in. That meeting was a Young Life meeting where Steve Largent found Christ as his savior. I wonder if the lady who baked the cookies and made the punch even thought of her work as doing “great good.” But what she may have seen as small changed a young man’s life and trajectory.

I emphasize the importance of recognizing our circumstances, just as Jesus did. He let the circumstances set His agenda. A year ago I got a letter from a lady named Beth who was reading You and Your Network. She stopped to write me. She told me her life story. When she was 12 she saw her father murdered. The shock put her into such depression she was institutionalized until she was 20. After attempting suicide, she found the Lord and became a minister. We continued to correspond. One letter said the depression and the blackness was back. “I can’t preach anymore.” I wrote her and in a letter she sent back she said, “I don’t have to be famous, do I? I don’t have to be well known to be a faithful Christian, do I?”

She wrote about a young girl she read about in the newspaper who was about the age of her own daughter who was jailed for prostitution and drugs. Beth went to see her. The girl was defiant, but Beth simply said, “I just want to tell you that God loves you and I would like to be your friend. She said the young girl ran into her arms, sobbing. After this Beth had three more opportunities like this.

Last week I got a letter from her. “Fred. if we don’t meet on this earth, in heaven a lady will slide up beside you and say “Hello, my name is Elizabeth, but my friends call me Beth.”

This week think carefully about: 1) How open are my eyes to the possibilities of “doing good” each day? 2) When was the last time I had an opportunity to speak a word or give aid to another? 3) What acts of service bring me the greatest joy?

Words of Wisdom: “The measurement ( of good) is most often long term and rarely can we neatly organize our lives into Large Good and Small Good.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 6, 2023

Fred expressed gratitude as a natural part of his daily experience. He repeatedly reminded people “everything we have is from God.” Those who came to him for counsel after great losses invariably engaged in a gratitude exercise, not self-pity.

Gratitude – Pass It On

The longer I live, the more I use a grateful attitude as a test for maturity. I have a friend with a stage four cancer diagnosis. I went to see her and asked, “What do you have to be grateful for?” Her response, “Fred, I have had much to appreciate.” “I didn’t ask you about past gratitude, but your current situation. What are you grateful for right now?”

It is relatively easy for people to recite a list of past items, but it is sometimes more difficult to express the current ones. Our greed, or great losses, cloud our minds and hearts disabling our gratitude. Sadly, we focus on what we wish we had, losing our perspective.

Authentic gratitude is recognizing and appreciating what we have now, not for what we hope to have.

Genuine gratitude needs to “keep moving.” We need to practice the art of saying thank you – and meaning it. Formalized appreciation results in holidays (which seem to increase year by year) which socially require us to acknowledge others. An unforced “thank you” has more impact. But for some saying “Thank you” is often just as hard as saying “I love you.”

Gratitude represents dependence. It says, “I can’t do this all by myself… I need your help.” Whether we speak that to parents, teachers, colleagues, or God it is a sign of humility. It is also a human bridge – it connects us to one another. When we acknowledge the contribution of others we build them up.

I was asked to be the keynote speaker at a graduation ceremony in Corpus Christi. Those receiving diplomas were leaving a drug rehabilitation program. One young man came up, obviously the toughest one in the group. When the leader described him as hostile when entering, the group laughed. Then he spoke: “Joe is the one who helped me – the one who taught me what I needed to know. When I fell down, he showed me how to get back up. I want to thank him.” Sitting next to Joe was a woman with her head down. The young man finally, with great difficulty, and almost in pain looked over at her. “Thank, Mom.” Her countenance changed – there was light in her face. I bet that was the first time in all his troubles he had caused her he had even acknowledged her.

At that moment I saw the power of gratitude.

This week think carefully about: 1) How quickly do I say “thank you?” 2) What example of gratitude do I set for others? 3) Who needs to hear “Thank you” right now?

Words of Wisdom: “Gratitude represents dependence. It says ‘I can’t do this all by myself… I need your help.’”

Wisdom from the Word: “The LORD strengthens and protects me; I trust in him with all my heart. I am rescued and my heart is full of joy; I will sing to him in gratitude.” (Psalm 28:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 13, 2023

Fred enjoyed talented men and women with passion and clarity. One of the Fred questions all who knew him have answered: “What is your uniqueness?” Connecting uniqueness, direction, and passion intrigued Fred.

Focused Passion

Every effective leader is imbued with passion. Accomplishment is often in direct proportion to the intensity of the leader’s passion. It is contagious; sustaining for difficult times; and hope giving.

I like this definition: “Passion is concentrated wisdom with high energy in the pursuit of meaning.” My theologian friend Dr. Ramesh Richard said, “First in life, decide on your passion. What is your first love? If you have multiple passions, you will be ripped to pieces internally resulting in a random, fragmented life. If anything other than the Lord Jesus Christ is your first love, you will fall into idolatry.” This international proclaimer, philosopher, and professor voices his passion this way: “to make God well known and the Lord Jesus Christ look good.” His focused passion insures integrity of leadership.

The advantages of passion are many: purpose, intensity, concentration, and intentionality. Passion gives depth keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity. Our life becomes a welder’s torch rather than a birthday candle.

Solzhenitsyn’s commitment to principle and truth drew from passion; Others that come to mind are: Mother Teresa’s lifetime work with the dying, Moody, Spurgeon, and Graham’s passion for souls, Edison’s drive for invention, and Churchill’s indomitable spirit stabilized the British.

There are men and women who are supernaturally gifted with passion beyond ordinary interest or intellectual curiosity. The ones I know understand the gifted nature and respect it. They can unite the heart and mind and spirit. They can lose themselves in a cause greater than themselves, dedicating themselves to a single purpose. The Apostle Paul put it this way: “This one thing I do.” And again, he said “I determine to know nothing but Christ Jesus and Him crucified.”
I listened as a young journalist interviewed an older, established writer. He went through his notes, then stopped and asked, “If you had your life to live over, what would you do?” Without hesitation the writer answered, “I would find something big enough to give myself to.”

This week think carefully about: 1) What is my uniqueness? 2) How do I connect my uniqueness, direction, and passion? 3) Who models well-used passion for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Passion gives depth keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But we passionately want each of you to demonstrate the same eagerness for the fulfillment of your hope until the end,” (Hebrews 6:11 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – May 30, 2032

Fred spoke directly to others – not as a power play, but as an exercise of his gift to stretch them. He told them the truth to be helpful. Questions from people about mission and vision were common until his death.

Goals and Accomplishment

One thing I always feel I must be working on when I am seeking accomplishment is simple: start right where I am. Everyday take a step, not waiting to be in a different place, with different circumstances.

Ken McFarland, was one of the greatest platform speakers of his time. Even when he was attending class in a Kansas one-room schoolhouse. He told me when his teacher asked him to stay afterwards one day and asked him, “Kenneth, how far do you want to go?” “As far as I can go,” was his answer. “Then the ladder starts right here” as she pointed to the floor. It was the greatest lesson he could learn: success starts right where you are. There is no need to move somewhere else to find the ladder. Start climbing right where you are. There may (and probably will) be taller ladders somewhere else along the way, but if you don’t take the first steps right where you are, chances are you will never accomplish your goals somewhere else.

A caveat on goal setting: we have to become mature in our judgment about our capabilities, strengths and weaknesses.

For example, I wanted to be an opera singer. My vocal coach told me he had never had a student who worked so hard, was focused so clearly, or loved music like I did. “Fred, there is only one thing missing: talent.” His comment sounds cruel, but it saved me much time and money which was much better used elsewhere.

There are times when inspirational material beyond reason can be hurtful. Telling people they can do absolutely anything they want to do is harmful. For years I was rightfully known as “Fat Fred.” You could tell me 24 hours a day I could be a jockey at Churchill Downs, but it was never going to happen.

When we set goals serious reality is necessary. Vision beyond any possibility of reality sets us up for disappointment. I knew a young woman who suffered for years regretting the fact that she didn’t “go for it” and become a major Broadway musical start. She agonized about the fact she didn’t take the risk. I had the opportunity to speak with her voice teacher. The fact was she didn’t have the voice. It wasn’t opportunity at all. It wasn’t lack of risk taking.

When we are envisioning we need to avoid indulging in the mystical to the point of fantasy. The common philosophy of just dreaming it makes it possible is implausible and a stumbling block. When the dream doesn’t come true it sets the person up for assuming they are a failure. That is when I always remind them: “Only your plans have failed; you haven’t.”

This week think about: 1) What helps me accomplish my goals? 2) How do I assess my talents? 3) When do I experience the greatest energy?

Words of Wisdom: “We have to be mature in our judgment about our capabilities, strengths, and weaknesses.”

Wisdom from the Word: “With this goal in mind, I strive toward the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 3:14 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – May 23, 2023

Fred studied humor like others focus on languages, professional skills, or athletic achievements. He always talked about writing a book on humor. He left some unpublished observations and this week we feature some excerpts of this “scatter shooting” on laughter.

Healthy Humor

One of my highly intellectual friends sent me the biography of Mark Twain. When I called to laugh about certain things in the story he told me an interesting story. He and one of his friends called each other every Sunday morning to read the funny papers together. They found it is so much more enjoyable to laugh together rather than to laugh by oneself. In fact, you rarely hear anybody who laughs loud by themselves, no matter how funny the material is. But if they will read you the same material, they will immediately start laughing – sometimes so uncontrollably they can not continue. Of course you start laughing because humor is communal.

Keeping your eyes and ears open for humor is a discipline well worth developing. I practice looking for funny occurrences. For example, when I was driving to Mustang Island to prepare the condo for the coming hurricane I noticed a large real estate development sign: “Condos for sale – exit now.” Ordinarily that would be simple information about the booming real estate market of south Texas. But in light of the coming hurricane I read the words with this interpretation: “Condos ahead, so is hurricane, so “GET YOURS NOW!”

Repeating funny experiences is a good way to develop your sense of humor. It gives you a utility for the things you see and laugh about. Oftentimes in social situations you can substitute something funny you heard or saw for the same old chit chat about weather, television, or sports.

I was walking downtown to the office and noticed a long limousine coming down the street. I overheard a man’s comment to his companion: “Man, when you ride in one of those you have either got rocks or rigor mortis.” I laughed to myself, but filed it away for an appropriate way to give others a smile.

Humor is part of a healthy rhythm of life. It relieves the monotony. It improves the taste, like salt on vegetables or the meat. It is important to know and remember humor is a great deal more than telling jokes. Actually, very few people can do that well. Humor resides in that area between perfection and imperfection, between where we are and where we would either like to be or like for people to think we are.

Dr. Raymond Moody said, “Laughter has been linked by longstanding tradition with longevity. One thing almost all very healthy elderly patients in common is their sense of humor.” Humor is the lubricant for life. When I first started professionally speaking in my 20s I landed on phrases that became “Fredisms.” One of my better known was “Laugh or get high blood pressure.” Over the years the material developed greater depth, but the truth of those early chestnuts still holds true.

This week consider: 1) How easily do I laugh? 2) What makes me laugh? 3) When do I best use humor in social situations?

Words of Wisdom: “Humor is communal.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A cheerful heart brings good healing, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” (Proverbs 17:22 NET Bible)