Pre-Trip Maintenance

Brenda’s Blog – October 22, 2024

Before traveling for over four thousand miles in the next month I went to my local auto shop to make sure my faithful “Red Ryder” GMC Terrain is all set. I carried enough work to make me productive during the wait. I also showed up to be in line for number one in their “first come, first served” system. Before the door opened for business my smiling face was at their front door. I knew there would be a wait, so I prepared. Sadly, I left my mid-morning snack in the car, so my stomach growled a bit!

Over an hour after opening, an older lady came flying through the door, running straight up to the service counter. “I called and you said if I got here early I could get my oil changed right away.” “Yes, but there are several ahead of you, so if you will sit down and wait we will get right to you.” But I need my oil changed right away – and this IS early for me!” Everyone in the waiting room did a synchronized eye roll.

It made me think of the phrase “high maintenance.” My car was receiving personal attention making sure all its “bodily fluids” were full before I hit the road. It didn’t demand attention — the horn didn’t honk, nor do the windows fly up and down.
On the other hand, when people are high maintenance they interfere with the natural order of things. They consider themselves first priority. They honk and honk!

She marched around the waiting room complaining about the way she was treated. “I can go to Walmart and get waited on right away – I can go to Big Sandy and get the oil changed in 10 minutes.” Her song had verse after verse, but the chorus was always the same “I am special; I am worthy of being put at the front of the line.”

She told everyone her life story, emphasizing what her life had been… yes, had been. She talked of being married, driving a Mercedes, living in a big house, owning a plane, and wearing fine clothes. Then she said “I don’t need any of that. My kids live in California, have lots of money, and have happy lives so I am just fine in my trailer and vehicle.” The service manager told her two of her tires were bald, and there were several other needed repairs. She totally ignored him, and walked out to her 17 year old SUV.

Sometimes high maintenance is a cry for help. Sometimes we need to step behind the demands and see the need. Our Father God calls us to see Him in everyone we meet showing the love of Jesus.

Integrity in Motive

Weekly Thought- October 22, 2024

Fred valued his reputation as a man of integrity. Offers of financial gain, elevated status, and public acclaim were made during his life. He held to his credo – his statement of belief which he developed as a young man. He avoided traps by knowing the Rock upon which his life was built.

Integrity in Motive

Integrity starts with motive. I can’t ever be totally honest for I have a sin nature. But I can avoid being dishonest. Dishonesty is a decision.

Rationalization does more to pollute our integrity of motive than any other psychological tool. It attempts to excuse our lack of integrity. We repeatedly hear, “Everyone else is doing it.” Or, how many times do we hear “Times have changed – this is what works today.” Too often we hear “I had no choice if I wanted to win.” One of the saddest is, “I had to go along with the majority even though I knew they weren’t right.”

The argument that choosing even a wrong path which will ultimately produce good is a lie which is too often accepted. “The end justifies the means” is attributed to Machiavelli, the political theorist. In God’s economy this philosophy fails. He doesn’t support this thinking. He doesn’t find shortcuts which lead to a win. He is sovereign and the plan is His. He wants our motives to be reflections of His righteousness.

Our maturity in Christ is the goal. Picking the easy way, even when it opens the door to shady choices is counter productive. When our children were young Mary Alice and I reminded them “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

There is a process to rationalization. First, we convince ourselves that winning, succeeding, achieving, or even growing an organization may require a few steps off the straight and narrow, but the end result will benefit so many the decision makes sense. The next phase is convincing others of the plan, bringing them into the “in the end it will be the best” strategy. Finally, the Christian attempts to convince God of the choice. When the outcome is seen to be seriously flawed, the conversation with God changes confession into explanation.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I evaluate my motives in making key decisions? 2) Who is my strong ally who speaks truth to me? 3) What red flags do I have established as measures of my motives?

Words of Wisdom: “He wants our motives to be reflections of His righteousness.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who conducts himself in integrity will live securely, but the one who behaves perversely will be found out.” (Proverbs 10:9 NET Bible)

Leading With Integrity

Weekly Thought – October 15, 2024

Fred wrote a book titled Leading With Integrity. It was a relevant topic in 1999 and even more so in 2024. Its audience was the pastoral community, but the ideas apply to all leadership. This week’s piece is excerpted from his introduction. His thoughts remind us of his words, “Principles never change – just the illustrations.”

Leading With Integrity

In a real sense leadership in industry is different from leadership in Christ’s church. Writer M. Scott Peck once asked me, “Why don’t you businessmen take over the church?” “Because we can’t lead a spiritual church successfully,” I said. “Secular principles that are not anointed by the Holy Spirit are not applicable to the church. In fact, they can pollute it by bypassing the Spirit.”

Some principles can be transferred when they are spiritually ordained, and over the years I have been associated with some fine leaders in industry as well as in Christian work. This book, however, grew out of my sense that today in the institutional church we’ve become almost too dependent on human leadership principles. We know a great deal about effective organization through extensive research.

My concern is that in the church we may be trying to do God’s work in man’s way.

If we are to do God’s work in God’s way we must start with character. Christian leaders must examine themselves, so that with the apostle Paul they can say, “Follow me as I follow Christ.”

Unfortunately, we are not as conscious of our character flaws as we perceive lacks in areas of knowledge, skill, and experience. In my sixty years in business nobody has said, “ I have a flawed character.” It is much easier to admit a training or skill deficiency than to admit a character weakness. Yet, from 75 to 80 percent of the failures I have seen are rooted in a failed character.

The church must be involved in character building, helping men and women grow into the maturity of Christ. Leaders are responsible for modeling an encouraging character and integrity.

I was interviewing a prospective corporate president and at the end of the interview I asked him, “What’s your ultimate aim?” He grew quiet. I sensed he was deciding to tell me the truth. “My ultimate aim,” he said, “is that when I face the Lord, he will say, “Well done thou good and faithful servant.” There is no finer aim.

Growing in the reality of the Christ-life and being awakened to the truth of Christlikeness in us is a worthy aim.

This week think about: 1) How would I answer Fred’s question about my ultimate aim? 2) What do I do to make sure I am not “doing God’s work in man’s way?” 3) When have I experienced a character failure?

Words of Wisdom: “If we are to do God’s work in God’s way we must start with character.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Vindicate me, O Lord, for I have walked in my integrity, and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering.” (Psalm 26:1 NET Bible)

Overcoming Cynicism

Weekly Thought – October 8, 2024

Fred was known for his sense of humor. He looked at situations with an “out of the box” posture long before that was in vogue. His keen sense of discernment allowed him to cut right to the heart of situations. And although quick witted he worked hard to avoid unhealthy cynicism.

Overcoming Cynicism

Cynicism has no integrity. It often takes a viewpoint which evaluates the present, but has no hope for the future… Even when the evaluation is correct. As Christians we are not without hope; we believe in the great hope of future things. Therefore, our responsibility is to make a difference wherever we are, not drop out, hide, or run away.

Recently, a bright, young executive asked me to lunch. He opened the conversation by saying, “I serve on several Christian boards and have been invited to join two national ministry boards. But as a businessman I have become cynical at what I see. You have been doing this all your adult life, how do you avoid cynicism?”

I freely admit I have a certain amount of cynicism – the healthy amount, I hope. I doubt you can be involved in Christian organizations as long as I have without it. Nevertheless, I assured him there is an antidote which comes in two parts:

1) Maintain your sense of humor. I find any human activity, whether faith-based or not, contains the frailties of humankind. To me, healthy humor eases the tension between where we are and where we ought to be. Too often in the most serious business of the Kingdom we act like court jesters. We play games, indulge in politics, defend our errors, and deny our temptations. Actually, all of these deficiencies can be a robust source for humor. Sin garbed in ecclesiastical garments is ridiculous.

2) Look for the reality amid the counterfeit. Truth creates fertile ground for deception. Where there is great reality there is opportunity for corresponding unreality. The Father of lies operates with strategies and schemes – this we know. We also know there is greater light available to us in Christ which allows us to separate the knock-off tenets of faith which lead us down the wrong path. We must keep a sharp eye open to recognize the genuine and authentic, putting aside the fake knowing reality will win out.

I do not know how this young man fared in his journey of Christian leadership. Scripture warns the church to avoid offering leadership positions to those young in the faith for they are not seasoned and subject to discouragement (and thereby cynicism). Seeing the potholes and the pitfalls with maturity prepares those who accept leadership positions.

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I evaluate my own leadership qualities? 2) What tempts me to become cynical? 3) Where can I model reality and avoid the temptation of cynicism this week?

Words of Wisdom: “As Christians we are not without hope; we believe in the great hope of future things.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe in him, so that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 15:13 NET Bible)

YTCO

Brenda’s Blog – October 8, 2024

Jeb Stuart, officer in the Confederate Army, signed his correspondence to General Robert E. Lee “Yours To Count On.” During one of my Dad’s serious hospitalizations my niece Catherine came to visit and taped a sign to the wall with these four letters: YTCO. Dad understood immediately what she was saying: “We are with you Grandfather; we are standing by and praying; we love you.”

The comfort, confidence, and faithfulness of another is a rare privilege. “I’ve got your back” is an idiomatic way of rephrasing Stuart’s heartfelt sentiment. But so often the things in which we put our trust prove themselves to be lacking. We trust jobs, people, ban accounts and even our own abilities. So often they falter and we fall.

Perhaps we have placed our ladder against the wrong wall, as the old adage goes. Perhaps our faith is in a rock that crumbles instead of the Rock that conquers. In what are you placing your faith today? In what are you depending? As Dr. Phil says, “How’s it working for you?”

In my book Divine Confinement I wrote that the foundation of any faith walk is dependence on God. I believe that, but I struggle daily to work it out in my life. Depending on false gods squeezes down the space in my heart for the one true God. But I dearly want to depend on Him. Where is your struggle? What is forcing Him out of total and true reign?

Steadfastness is a biblical virtue but unswerving allegiance to anything other than the Son of God is idolatry. Jeb Stuart’s oath of fealty is the best that one human can offer another, but it falls far short of truly counting on Jesus. When we depend on the world to steady our boat we will be disappointed. When we attach our lifeline to Jesus we have the life He promised.

Leading With Integrity

Weekly Thought – October 1, 2024

Fred staunchly evaluated character – his own, and others. He believed it to be the foundation of maturity. He wrote to pastors on carrying out their calling with integrity, but knew the same principles applied to all callings.

Leading With Integrity

Integrity is based in character. It cost me a lot of money in a bad investment to learn that character is more important that intelligence. I mistakenly put mental acuity above character. One of America’s wealthiest investors remarked in a speech to Harvard students that the three qualities he looks for in those with whom he will invest his money are character, intelligence, and energy. Character counts!

It is so important because it cannot be fully evaluated, but will fail at the time when we can least afford a lapse. And, it is almost impossible to buttress weak character. It is not like skill training that can be developed in seminars.

My experience has brought me to a controversial belief about it. Character is sectionalized like a grapefruit, not homogeneous like a carton of milk. When we comment on the strength or weakness of a person’s character we often assume the person’s personality, values, and character are of one cloth. I have not found this to be true. Some totally honest business people are hypocritical and compromising in their personal lives. Some are trustworthy in one section while failing in another. It has been important to my leadership that I build on the solid parts of a person’s character. Few people indeed have all good sections, and few have no good sections at all. I like to think there is clay and iron in all of us. Our daughter once questioned my business relationship with a gentleman she didn’t trust. I listened then responded, “You focus on the clay and I on the iron.”

I have always been intrigued by the story that Willie Sutton, the bank robber, cried when he had to lie to his mother about his life. Criminals often exhibit impeccable loyalty to their own. In working with others we must identify the iron in order to successfully complete collaborative efforts.

Thankfully, God is the great strengthener of character. As the ancients say, God polishes his saints with tribulation, suffering, trials, and silence. I am convinced that God is much more interested in our character than he is in our intelligence.

This week carefully consider: 1) How long has it been since I seriously evaluated my character? 2) Where are my soft spots I need God’s strengthening? 3) How can I guard my heart day by day?

Words of Wisdom: “Few people indeed have all good sections, and few have no good sections at all.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May integrity and godliness protect me, for I rely on you.” (Psalm 25:2 NET Bible)

Making It Through

Brenda’s Blog – September 24, 2024

Have you been fighting hard to stay in control? Have you been grabbing at all of life’s handholds like career, family, image, apparent spirituality, legalistic discipline hoping that nobody will notice you as you catapult nearly head over heels into the slimy pit?

Stop right now. Don’t read another word. Cry and wait. He comes to each of us with an invitation for a personal experience with Psalm 40. Write your own paraphrase. Here is what I repeat constantly in these times whether emotionally, physically, spiritually, financially, or relationally stuck. “I waited (and waited) for you Lord, as I struggled to free myself from the muck and the mire. I was stuck, but you heard me and turned to me. You reached out, pulled me up, put my feet solidly on a rock and put a new song in my mouth – a song of praise and thanksgiving to you. I will always be grateful to you! You are a great God!”

He will hear you and He will turn to you. Gloriously He will lift you out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire. Isn’t that a breathtaking picture? Don’t you think of King Kong’s lifting up Fay Wray, Jessica Lange, or Naomi Watts (depending on your generation)? That picture of His all-powerful hand’s grasping me as I gasp for breath is both powerful and poignant. He showed me that in the “o’erwhelming flood” of the various seasons, He lovingly confined me. But He never left me.

I praised Him and many have come to see, fear, and trust in the Lord as they understand their own confinements are divine. Many experience the release that comes in knowing others, too, are sharing similar confinements. Grace abounds.

I hope you are sharing in this rejoicing. If you are boxed in right now, pause to reflect and capture the essence of the statement: “Yes, I am confined but because it is by the Hand of God, it is Divine Confinement.” And this same Hand of God which confines engages us in the next step: Divine Refinement. I want to talk about that with you in coming months. Wait patiently for Him trusting in His goodness.

The Discipline of Relationships

Weekly Thought – September 24, 2024

Fred considered a disciplined life key to maturity and health. In his book Leading With Integrity, written for Christian pastors and ministry leaders he noted eight disciplines. The Discipline of Relationships outlines three elements. The ideas are transferable and translatable to all in leadership.

The Discipline of Relationships

Relationships are obviously both the personal and professional concern of the leader.

1) Your relationship to yourself. Jean Paul Sartre was once quoted as saying, “If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in poor company.” I visited a magnificent home built in a remote part of the Colorado Rockies. It was so quiet you could hear the paint drying on the walls. I thought to myself, “Only a person at peace with himself could own a home like this.” In this kind of magnificent quiet you have time to be alone with yourself. And you would have to enjoy the company. You would have to be satisfied with the way you are growing. You could not have your external struggles (or even successes) filling up your internal being. To me, one of the tests of maturity is the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.

2) Your relationship with other people. Am I increasingly able to spend time profitably with people who think differently? Immature individuals are uncomfortable with thinking, life experiences, and even faith positions. I am not advocating for the adoption of beliefs or lifestyles that are contrary to Biblical standards, but I am not afraid to engage in conversation with those who think differently. Too often, growth is stunted by requiring time be spent only with those who think exactly the same.

3) Your relationship with God. Is my relationship with God more natural, more intimate, more real? I have a friend who lost contact with God. The problem was explanation. He came to God with rationalization, not confession. He spent years trying to explain to God why he was doing what he was doing only to continue drawing away. Only when he stopped, declared “Mea culpa – I am guilty” did he find peace and reconciliation. A healthy relationship with God grows out of confession.

Relationship disciplines are inward (with ourselves); outward (with others); and upward (with God). Each demands consistent nurturing for healthy growth.

This week think about: 1) When I consider these three where do I need the most work? 2) How can I develop a plan for healthy living? 3) Who could benefit this week from these three relationships thoughts?

Words of Wisdom: “To me, one of the tests of maturity is the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who loves discipline loves knowledge.” ( Proverbs 12:1 (a) NET Bible)

Time Killers

Weekly Thought – September 17, 2024

Fred masterfully grasped his priorities. He never bought into the busyness philosophy of executive life. Consequently, he accomplished his mission without adopting a frantic lifestyle. In writing about time he considered temptations that derailed effective living.

Time Killers

Sometimes we can outwit ourselves in the war for time. I’ve noticed three temptations that pull us aside.

1) Procrastination. If I ever get around to it, I am going to run for President of the National Procrastination Society. The problem is I just haven’t gotten around to it. An executive startled me once by saying he wasn’t taking his briefcase I asked why. “Well, I analyzed my work, and all day long I was sorting papers to take home at night. I found out I might as well just go ahead, make decision, and stop sorting papers.” A lot of procrastination is based on our fear of action. In Texas we have an apt expression for this: “fixin’ to.” Avoiding a wrong decision, or failure makes some assume the over preparer role. Exhaustion without results is a waste of time and energy.

2) Rationalization. Trying to prove to yourself you weren’t wrong kills time. I would be so much better to say, “I messed up.” As a speaker it is tempting to blame a bad speech on the crowd. But it wasn’t the fault of the audience; I just wasn’t on. How much easier and time saving that would be. Accepting full responsibility allows learning to occur. Shifting blame is a foolish exercise. Mary Alice and I often reminded the children “when you point your finger at someone else to take the blame you have four fingers pointing back at yourself.” Own the mistakes.

3) Indecision. I once knew an executive who had a sign on his desk: THE DEFINITE ANSWER IS MAYBE. He worked unbelievable hours. Instead of making decision he wandered around the office talking to people about the decision delaying and often falling into the pit of maybe. My mentor, Maxey Jarman once said to me, “Fred, many people can make good decisions, but they won’t.” I see this in those who don’t want to put their egos on the line.

Besides these three temptations let me mention two self-destructive tendencies:

1) Too many sick days. Whether through bad habits, avoiding responsibility, or a mistaken definition of self-care, sick days are costly for those wanting to be productive.

2) Financial problems. Failing to delay gratification and getting into debt are definite hindrances to full concentration.
Time management is a critical element of a healthy, productive life. Discipline and self-control are key factors.

This week seriously consider: 1) Which of the three temptations troubles me? 2) When do I fall into the self-destructive habits? 3) Who models healthy productivity for me?

Words of Wisdom: “In Texas we have an apt expression for procrastination: “fixin’to.”

Wisdom from the Word: “So he said to them, “Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you will not fall into temptation!”(Luke 22:46 NET Bible)

A440

Brenda’s Blog – September 10, 2024

“Your piano will never be perfectly tuned – it is too old, has traveled around too much, and has endured too many temperature changes.”

I took the tuner’s assessment very personally! The relationship between my piano and me defies definition. Except for college and a harrowing stint in a 10×48 trailer, my piano has been with me since 1951. Purchased by my parents in my 8th years it enables me to express my love for music, my emotional experiences, and my spiritual gift of encouragement.

Therefore, with great sadness I listened to the tuner’s assessment of my piano’s condition. The international concert pitch of A440 was never again to resound from my road weary Acrosonic. The “high sound” for which this instrument was named would always be slightly out of tune. In Brazil there is a moment each morning when all programming is interrupted so that the A440 frequency is sounded enabling all musicians to tune their instruments. During my high school band days my dear and venerated director William Fenton, would lift his hand signaling the oboe to “sound a concert A.” W then more (and often less) adjusted our instruments to match that vibration. Mr. Fenton walked around the room listening carefully in his strict military stance. We sat with our own backs straight, attempting correct diaphragmatic breathing, and hoping against hope we had matched the tone before his sharp ear leaned into our sound waves.

“I think we could do a series of tunings and get it close to standard.” That meant time and money! But could I offer anything less to this cherished friend? Three tunings later its voice was socially acceptable. Will the Lord offer anything less to us? It may take some serious tunings, but He does not hesitate to bring us to standard. The Bible calls this being conformed to the image of His own dear Son.

After years of God’s refinement I want my heart to be attuned to Him. A miniature tuning fork sitting on my brother’s desk reminds him that his goal is to be in tune with God’s leading in his life. Isn’t that terrific? It should help us recall the refinement process, as well.

Our growth is not relative – we don’t depend on the humanly produced concert A as our lives are adjusted for His usefulness. The heavenly A440 resonates with clarity and purity, setting the standard. But we cannot get there through our own efforts. We are all out of tune until God draws us to Himself through the completed work of Jesus on the cross. When He said, “It is finished,” the tuning fork was perfectly calibrated. A world that warbled badly was now brought into harmony through the perfect and acceptable sacrifice of Jesus.

Joyfully, the Master Tuner strikes the forks in our hearts and then adjusts the string to be in concert with His resonance and vibration. He takes lives that are too well traveled, too greatly influenced by the temperature of the world, too haphazardly moved from place to place, and too often ignored and brings them into harmonic congruence with Himself. And then, like any good tuner, he regularly makes adjustments knowing that our imperfect environment works to loosen the strings and skew the sound.

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