Asking Questions

Weekly Thought – January 21, 2025

Fred used questions in consulting, mentoring, and personal development. He also used them as channel markers in his private search for integrity. This week we feature ten which he frequently asks.

Asking Questions

1. Do my motives have integrity? Integrity starts with motive. Rationalization does more to pollute integrity of motive than any other factor. Ends never justify illegal, unjust, or unethical means.
2. Am I ego-driven or responsibility motivated? Ego-driven people satisfy their ego from the cause while responsibility-motivated people sacrifice their ego to the cause.
3. Do I want the truth? It requires a tough mind and a strong heart to love truth. Integrity demands tying to know and love truth for its own sake.
4. Does my will control my feelings? Leadership demands a strong will – not a selfish or stubborn will- but a determined will to do what needs doing. By will we overcome our yen for pleasure and our satisfaction with mediocrity.
5. What is my source of joy? Hope expresses itself n joy. My personal definition of joy is “adequacy.” The struggle is finding a true security and complete adequacy in authentic, not synthetic sources.
6. Is my passion focused? Passion brings purpose unity, intensity, and concentration, assuring accomplishment. Passion gives depth, keeping us from the shallowness of mediocrity. Our lives become a welder’s torch rather than a grass fire.
7. How grateful am I? Gratitude expresses our vulnerability, and our dependence on others. It is an emotion with a short shelf life because we don’t like to be indebted.
8. Am I the pump or the pipe? The Holy Spirit if the pump and I am the pipe. The pipe never gets tired. When I try to substitute my power for God’s I become powerless, dissatisfied even frantic, and defeated.
9. Is grace real for me? When refuse grace, I am playing God and trying to punish myself. Grace brings freedom.
10. How is my relationship to God? When I wake up in the middle of the night, face myself, and assess my true connection, what is the bottom line? Am I growing in my desire to know Him? Am I thirsty for time with Him? Trusting Him is a measure of relationship.

This week carefully consider: 1) What questions do I ask myself to establish my integrity quotient? 2) Which of Fred’s questions hits home right now? 3) Who would benefit from their own audit?

Words of Wisdom: “He used questions as channel markers in his own private search for integrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May integrity and godliness protect me, for I rely on you.” (Psalm 25:21 NET Bible)

The Crux of Crisis

Brenda’s Blog – January 14, 2025

“We were told our house was safe, so don’t worry. Within ten minutes the flames surrounded our house.” The tearful woman stood with her son packing to seek safety as they evacuated.

The California fires raged! Homes burned to the ground and thousands of lives were changed forever.

I watched the devastation and thought about other fires… emotional, financial, physical, and spiritual. I also remembered hearing, “You are strong; you are fine; don’t overthink this.” Then in a seeming moment I experienced the effects of the overwhelming flames.

The news spoke of people grabbing their prepared “go bags” with critical items. The thought “what would you take if you had to quickly evacuate?” comes to mind. People, papers, pictures, and precious items always top the list. But how about go bag preparation for other crises? What needs to be done in case of a physical disease? A retirement plan depletion? A divorce? How do we create a structure to handle these fires?

The primary item in our bag must be faith. The Bible tells us when we follow Jesus we are never alone. Memorizing scripture and keeping it “on the ready” is essential. Spending time before the flames start licking at our life means putting down deep roots.

My Dad always thought through possible experiences – even when they would probably never occur. He and I disagreed on the efficacy of this strategy, but as I aged I began seeing the wisdom. “Brenda, I never want to be surprised, panic, and get paralyzed. If I think it through ahead of time and construct the way to handle it, I can take clear action.” Without living with a doom and gloom attitude, mental and emotional preparation gives stability.

The Bible says, “when you suffer,” not “if you suffer.” It will come. Make sure your go bag is prepared and ready for easy access.

Measuring Character

Weekly Thought – January 14, 2025

Fred held a principle firmly in his personal and professional life. In his book, Leading with Integrity wrote:” Leaders with strong character have power, dignity, and integrity. Fortunately, our character can be strong without being perfect.”

Measuring Character

Leaders are measured by their public and private character. Before creating an association or hiring I consider three points:

1) Personality affects the way we react to pressure and desires: the introvert must be drawn out to discover the response while most extroverts must be reined in by themselves or others;
2) Testing the strengths and weaknesses prevents surprise: Knowing others allows the leader to develop strengths and bolster weaknesses.
3) Past history is a predictor of the future: Asking co-workers, family, and friends can be enlightening. Often, they know our character better than they know our talents.

I keep three principles in mind when I evaluate my own character:

1) Find a trusted and valued objective resource: Biblical truth is a valuable yard stick for me.
2) Check for purity of purpose and transparency: An aide to General Robert E. Lee always closed his letters with YTCO which stood for “Yours To Count On.” These words are an indication of strong character.
3) Tongue control, ego management, obedience, and confession are all aspects of a strong character. For me, a healthy character is a sign of emotional maturity which is my goal.

Character strengthens under pressure, suffering, loss, tribulation, and failures. The mind gains experiences and the heart grows convictions. Character is the element that makes us stand when we want to run, to live when it seems easier to die, and enables us to fight for the right – even in a losing cause.

This week carefully consider: 1) What principles do I use in assessing character in others, and in myself? 2) Who is a model of good character for me? 3) When do I have to depend on my own principles to avoid making bad decisions?

Words of Wisdom: “Leaders with strong character have power, dignity, and integrity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “An honorable man makes honorable plans; honorable character gives him security.” (Isaiah 32:8 NET Bible)

Measuring the Role of Relationship

Weekly Thought – January 7, 2025

Fred annually did a “whole person” analysis and audit. He considered the various facets of his life, measured the goals from the year just completed and anticipated his direction for the new one. He looked at his relationship to himself, to others, and to God.

Measuring the Role of Relationship

Relationships are obviously both the personal and professional concern of the leader.

First, your relationship to yourself. Jean Paul Sartre, the French philosopher, was once quoted as saying, “If you are lonely when you are alone, you’re in poor company.”

I visited a magnificent home built n a remote part of the Colorado Rockies. It was so quiet you could hear the paint drying on the wall. I thought to myself: “Only a person at peace with himself could own a home like this.” In that kind of magnificent quiet, you have time to be alone with yourself. And you would have to be able to enjoy the company. You’d have to be satisfied with the way you are growing. You could not have your external success eating up your internal being.

That’s one of the tests of maturity: the ability to be alone and at peace with yourself.

Second, relationship to others. Am I increasingly able to spend time profitably with people who are different? Immature individuals can’t enjoy people who don’t think differently. They prefer people just like themselves. Maturity is being comfortable with diversity.

Third, we must evaluate the development of our relationship with God. Is my walk with God more comfortable? More intimate? More real?
I had a friend who lost contact with God. The problem was this: instead of confessing, he was explaining. God is not very interested in our explanations. He knows why we do what we do. He doesn’t need our rationalizing. But, I have found, God is a marvelous listener to our confessions.

I have discovered I can explain things to God for years, but only when I get around to saying, “Mea culpa – I am guilty,” does my relationship with Him begin to grow again.

(By the way, I look at my relationship to my family, goals I have for family development as well as growing in our knowledge of each other. In my audit I look at my mental, financial, and physical “state of the union.” On January 1 I write all my goals down and the next New Year’s Day I honestly appraise the progress (or lack thereof) with an honest, transparent eye before setting goals for the next year).

This week carefully consider: 1) How would an annual personal audit benefit me? 2) Which of the three areas of relationship is the biggest challenge for me? 3) Where do I want to show the most progress this year?

Words of Wisdom: “The ability to be alone and at peace with yourself is a test of maturity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this reason we also, from the day we heard about you, have not ceased praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” (Colossians 1:9 NET Bible)