The Last Word

Brenda’s Blog – December 28, 2021

When the TV Barn Builder crew erects a log structure they lift the final log and the team leader yells out, “LAST LOG!” It is their traditional acknowledgement of completion.

Friday I attended the memorial service for a long time friend. Afterwards, my family asked, “What do you want for your service?” “Mom, please send me an outline so I know what you want,” responded my pastor son who will conduct the service (hopefully not in the near future).

As twenty somethings we attended weddings, taking notes for our own nuptials; then we became parents of daughters looking for ideas as we sat through more friends’ events than we could count; and at this age and stage we say goodbye to friends while focusing on features for our own service.

I hear people say, “Oh, I don’t care what the family does.” I disagree – I do care! It is my final opportunity to share my faith in Jesus. It is not a time to sanitize, creating an unrealistic image. My Dad was given many awards in his latter years. He was gracious as he received them, but in private conversation would say, “I wish I had known that man.”

What do you want people to hear about you? Who do you want to participate? What music do you want? Why? It is a good exercise. As you do that, why not consider your own obituary and epitaph? These expressions give direction while we are still alive… they shine a light on who we want to be – and be remembered. It gives impetus to stronger purpose.

Writers often include a PS known as “Last Words.” It provides summary, action charges, and goodbyes to the audience who has motivated the author during the creative process.

I challenge you to think of the projects in your life, implementing the “last log!” cheer. And, I urge you to organize your own memorial service, making it easier for your family, and giving you a platform to reflect your last words.

Moving the Vision

Weekly Thought – December 28, 2021

Fred enjoyed distilling and clarifying. His ability to take a broad topic, squeeze out the essence, and then magnify its utility was one of his major strengths. He called it “putting handles on the pot.” He said ideas needed effective transportation just like a pot needs a handle to make it passable from one to another. Today’s thoughts on organizational vision exemplify this skill.

Moving the Vision

One of a leader’s functions is to gather followers around the vision, not himself/herself. This is where integrity comes into the equation. The leader who coagulates others is an embezzler. Using personal magnetism as a means of getting things done is, to me, manipulation.

Leaders must recognize several subtle dynamics:

1) Decisions are not commitments: The first is short-term; the other long-term. People can decide to work toward a specific emphasis; commitment’s aim is the ultimate purpose. Both are necessary. Those with only a long-term focus will often fail to accomplish much. Short-term is usually the trigger for activity. The leader’s job is to motivate movement using decision to accomplish commitment. Wise leaders know that when they get a decision (even a group decision) they haven’t necessarily gotten commitment. One of the downfalls of leadership is evoking an emotional decision which will fall apart.

2) Recognize the “driving wheels”: In any organization there are those who provide momentum and those who are just along for the ride. Effective leaders know establishing commitment from the driving wheels will ordinarily result in the others coming along. Correct identification is critical for stable, forward progress in any group or organization. The best way to motivate driving wheels is not emotion but comprehension. My good friend Jack Turpin says the only way for people to perform excellently over the long term is if they fully comprehend what they are doing. Leaders must be honest about the vision, the effort necessary, and reasons for expending it. Lasting motivation is persuasion through comprehension. The key to a driving wheel is asking, “Do you agree this is something worth doing? If so, let’s commit to it together.”

3) Know when it is time to change the vision: Strong leaders know the situation does not hold still forever. It is always important to measure the vision against the desired results. Perseverance is a positive attribute for a healthy leader, but the ability to sense the direction is crucial. Sir Winston Churchill is well known for his exhortation: “Never, never, never, never give up!” But it is just as important to know “When the horse is dead; dismount!”

Organizations require leaders who can define and articulate the vision. Just as important for the leader is the trait of reading the progress and direction of the vision, knowing when to reevaluate, and perhaps shift the emphasis.

This week think carefully about: 1) How do I set the vision as a leader? 2) What gives me clues about the time to change the vision? 3) Who can I use as a model for visionary leadership?

Words of Wisdom: “In any organization there are those who provide momentum and those who are just along for the ride.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He stores up effective counsel for the upright, and is like a shield for those who live with integrity.” (Proverbs 2:7 NET Bible)

Freedom to Lead

Weekly Thought – December 21, 2021

Fred carried a reputation of integrity. He spoke, wrote, and mentored from a position of understanding the true responsibilities of leadership. Anyone who heard or read him were reminded of character and the critical role it plays in personal and professional decisions.

Freedom to Lead

Some leaders in business and in ministry I know feel trapped. “I’m called by God to do this, but I don’t like aspects of the job, and I don’t feel free to change them.” My experience with pastors is that many feel like slaves to the church with very few options. My corporate executive friends express the same emotions.
They do have emotional options, of course. They can choose to be dedicated, enthusiastic, willing to use their best talents, or they can drag their feet, be insolent, and hostile. Internal control is the often the only available control.

When feeling trapped Christians need to recognize they may be serving the wrong master. We are all called to be slaves of Christ, not of the church, or the business career. This freedom to serve Christ alone requires discipline. It comes with a price – all freedom does. One of Mary Alice’s friend commented, “Fred has more freedom to say what he really thinks than anybody else I know.” My wife replied, “He pays a price for it.” It is true. We who want to serve Christ as our master understand the cost. Bonhoeffer discussed the “Cost of Discipleship.”

The willingness to be disliked comes with the commitment to character and integrity. The world is uncomfortable with those whose standards exclude convenient compromise. When we make the decision to serve Christ alone, the price tag is high. It may cost a job, a relationship, or social position. Joshua asserted his leadership philosophy when he challenged the people to declare their loyalties. He wasn’t mandating but announcing when he said, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

I was approached by a high profile Christian businessman who asked me to sit on his board. I said, “You don’t want me. I would see my responsibility to the organization, not to you. You couldn’t count automatically on my vote.” In saying this I was insisting on my freedom to discharge my responsibility. He quickly agreed I wasn’t the person he wanted on the board.

Freedom is not irresponsibility. I believe one reason for America’s productivity is the environment where responsible people live in freedom. The Puritan conscience is the central element: “you have a talent, you’re responsible for it, and one day you will stand before God and give an account for its use.”

This week think about: 1) How free do I currently feel? 2) What do I need to do to clarify my direction? 3) Who can help me more fully commit to Christ?

Words of Wisdom: “Freedom is not irresponsibility.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Or you were called to freedom, brothers and sisters; only do not use your freedom as an opportunity to indulge your flesh, but through love serve one another.” (Galatians 5:13 NET Bible)

Setting Priorities for Troubled Times

Weekly Thought – December 14, 2021

Fred grew up moving frequently as his pastor father accepted different church assignments. They experienced financial hardships, but always kept their family compass focused on true North. During his lifetime he faced difficult career decisions, and setbacks. But he established a moral base early in life which served him well.

Setting Priorities for Troubled Times

Major troubles challenge our priorities. It also revises, and may I say – purifies. We decide what is really important. Trouble also gives us an opportunity to look at the situation realistically, assessing the odds. A friend called to tell me of his leukemia diagnosis. “I chose to ignore the spiritual things thinking I would deal with them later. I wasn’t in a hurry. Cancer changed that.”

Trouble makes us distill the essence of life. Let’s look at three ways:

1) What are the necessities? Too much of life is spent, or wasted, on the superficialities.
2) We ask ourselves, “Who am I becoming?” Often I ask someone if they are becoming who they want to be and many times the answer is “Oh, no, but I intend to – someday.”
3) How do I want to be remembered? What do I want on my tombstone? Fannie Crosby, author of thousands of hymns and choruses, asked her family for these words: “Aunt Fannie – she did what she could.”

Answering those three questions, we know how to spend our time, energy, and attention. Rather, we know how to invest, not spend, our resources. The answers will build a framework for reprioritizing. Good life management periodic inventories to insure we are making the “highest and best use.”

During the dark financial days in the 1980s, a couple came by the office to see me. They told of making a list of all their social relationships. Then they went back and created a second list of those who would be their friends if (and when) they went broke. This much shorter list represented their new list of true friends.

Their situation reminded me of the man who asked his wife, “Will you still love me after I’m bankrupt?” “Of course I will,” she answered sweetly, “and I will miss you, too.” She would not have been on the list of true friends.

In crucial situations it is important to assess the odds. When you are moving with the odds there is no question of progress, just the rate of progress. Some of my most successful friends work with the situations, not giving into the circumstances. My longtime friend Dr. Howard Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary always his new students laugh when they give him a long story of incomplete assignments introduced with, “Under the circumstances…” Prof. always instantly responds, “Son, what are you doing under there?” When we are going against the odds it requires extra effort, more intense concentration, better vigilance, and keener intelligence because there is less margin for error.

Trouble clarifies; trouble verifies; and trouble makes a way to maturity.

This week think about: 1) Where are my troubles right now? 2) How am I growing from trouble? 3) Where am I finding strength and hope?

Words of Wisdom: “Trouble makes us distill the essence of life.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For there is a time and a way for everything, although man’s trouble lies heavy on him.” (Ecclesiastes 8:6 ESV Bible)

Joy of Discovery

Brenda’s Blog – December 14, 2021

“I didn’t know I could be pretty.”

These words spoken by a college woman exploded in my heart. As part of our Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute program we offered makeover instruction by Kat Van Dusen, a Mary Kay director. In the planning stages the college planning group told me their women wouldn’t be interested, but agreed to offer the afterhours option. Don’t expect more than four or five attendees, they recommended. Kat prepared for 20 believing in what God called her to do.

Forty women jammed into the room! Kat masterfully led them through makeup lessons while delivering principles of who we are as women in Christ Jesus. Their attention was on both the cosmetics and the Christology!

I sat on the side, listening and watching – and praising God for what was happening in that room. The Spirit of God was truly at work.

At the end, Kat passed little mirrors around the table, enabling each participant to catch their post-makeover reflection. Lots of oohs, and aahs (which was expected). Then then power appeared.

The last woman to receive the mirror glanced, put it down, and began crying. “I didn’t know I could be pretty.” There was a holy hush which permeated the entire space. We all knew the glory of God had fallen. She said she had always accepted the fact that she was plain without any hope of being pretty. Makeup was not used because she thought it was for “the pretty girls.”

The magic was not in the makeup, but in the moment of discovery. She did not exchange the beauty of Jesus for the world’s charm. No! But she no longer bought into the world’s message, either. She heard Kat’s words about who we are in Christ certainly. She also felt the loving touch of a woman whose career is centered on Jesus and encouragement.

The Process of Wisdom

Weekly Thought – December 7, 2021

Fred appreciated a prayer from William Barclay and studied its line often in preparation for speaking or teaching. One of his favorite principles of speaking was: “speak from the overflow.” He wanted to be fully prepared, not just with specific material for one lesson, but with ample content to provide a robust quality to his talks. He desired to impart life principles leading to wisdom, not just information.

The Process of Wisdom

“Lord, grant us in our work, satisfaction; in our study, wisdom; in our pleasure, gladness; and in our love, loyalty.”

William Barclay who spent his life studying, realized that wisdom comes by process. Scripture talks about getting knowledge, and then understanding, and then wisdom. In America we are long on knowledge, but short on wisdom. We educate the head so much better than we educate the heart. Often you hear, “How can anyone that smart be that dumb?” Their head may be smart, but their heart is ignorant.

The major problems we face today are not because we are uneducated, but because we are unwise. We see this in political confrontations. Those are educated men and women. They may have knowledge, but greatly lack wisdom. Wall Street scandals are not from lack of knowledge, but from lack of wisdom which manifests itself in lack of character.

One of the most interesting columns I’ve read in a long time is “The heartless lovers of mankind.” The author points out how dangerous intellectuals are who have theories about the welfare of mankind without regard for individual life. The writer points out Marx, Lenin, Mao, and Stalin as men who had an intellectual theory about the construction of society. Each had no regard for individuals, even those close to them. These theorists used what is called “useful murders.” Mao killed 300,000,000 while working out a social theory and philosophy. All of these men saw mankind as raw material for experimentation. They did not love people. They loved power and played with lives as pieces on a chess board.

Let me quote from T.S. Eliot: “where is the life we have lost in living? Where is the wisdom we have lost in knowledge? Where is the knowledge we have lost in information? The cycles of heaven in twenty centuries bring us further from God and nearer to the dust.”

God made us from dust to move toward God. Eliot points out that we are moving quickly back to the dust.
Knowledge will never be enough. In our high technology world we fail to complete the process moving from data to information to knowledge to wisdom. We get stuck and wisdom loses.

May we understand and believe Barclay, “in our study, wisdom.”

This week carefully consider 1) Who are the wisdom figures in my life? 2) How tempted am I to stop at knowledge? 3) What am I doing to attain and apply wisdom in my relationships?

Words of Wisdom: “Their heads may be smart, but their hearts are ignorant.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Wisdom, like an inheritance, is a good thing; it benefits those who see the light of day.” (Ecclesiastes 7:11 NET Bible)

Make It Look Easy

Brenda’s Blog – November 30, 2021

“We’re going to practice until the congregation is totally relaxed thinking how easy the music is.” The choir director went over and over a most difficult passage with the goal of its looking easy. Dad used to tell me the sign of a professional is in the art of making it look simple. “You don’t want anyone to think you are struggling.”

“Don’t ever let them see you sweat” was a popular byword years ago. It was an admonition to keep one’s cool.

Nathaniel Hawthorn, early New England author, put it bluntly and succinctly: “Easy reading; hard writing.” Giving life to a thought is similar to birth… from conception to delivery is a process requiring inspiration, effort, and even pain.

A wise leader of industry once advised, “Show me the baby, don’t tell me about the labor pains.” Most people have no interest in the complete rehashing of the creative process, but prefer to view the outcome. But we must commit to the entire process, right? The delivery, even the pain, has a distinct purpose and its own beauty.

We are called to excellence and a key element is the ability to produce and perform seamlessly. It takes work, but how pleasing it can be to all, including ourselves. Practicing to the point of relaxed performance brings satisfaction and joy.

Let’s look at year end and see what it will take to make it look easy, finishing 2021 well.

An Educated Heart

Weekly Thought – November 30, 2021

Fred treasured his friendships, nurturing them through the years. In the 1950s he spent hours traveling across the country. Because nonstop flights were nonexistent, he had long hours in airport layovers. Not one to waste time -or connections- he had a file of 3×5 cards organized by city with the contact info on everyone he knew in that town. His secretary would load his briefcase with all the travel necessities including the pertinent cards for the airport stays and a roll of change for the pay phone. These calls kept friendships alive and fertilized his large network. This is an excerpt from a commencement speech.

An Educated Heart

I want to congratulate you on completing your degree. You hear about life-long learning, but just as key is an educated heart. One evidence is a right evaluation of self-worth. I am convinced Christians should understand their identity in Christ without buying into the false emphasis on image and esteem which the current culture emphasizes.

A friend of mine was a professor who came to faith in Christ late in life. During a conversation he said, “True dignity happens when genuine pride and genuine humility unite.”

We in the Christian community think of pride and humility as antonyms when actually they are two sides of the same coin. Don’t you feel that you can be justly proud of being God’s child, a member of His family? A wealthy business friend in Boston and his wife took a girl off the street into their home for a year to help rehabilitate her. Each night after dinner he would go over the catechism he developed for her which began with the question, “Why does God love you?” Her reply was: “Not because I am good but because I am precious.” Then the second question was “Why are you precious?” The reply: “Because Christ died for me.” Once when speaking in East Texas a little 80 year old woman heard this story, and hurried to speak to me afterwards. “Thank you, Mr. Smith. All my life I have wanted to be precious and now I know I am.”

You unite that pride with genuine humility and you have a truly educated heart. True humility is best defined as “not denying the power you have but admitting the power comes through you and not from you.” Denial is lying; attribution is truth telling. Some people develop a false humility by bad-mouthing themselves. This perpetuates a lie. We are to feel good about ourselves when we as a member of the Body of Christ knows we are being used. The power is not ours, but His. In this is dignity and the realization of self-worth, not image driven self-esteem, but God’s self-worth.

Another evidence of a learning heart is a homing sense – a magnetic pull for home. Just as the carrier pigeons never lose the pull of the home pad, the educated heart draws toward the Father…His values, His plan, and His community. In a graduating class this large. Many of you will get lost in the trees as you chase the dollar, fame, or even service. In this lostness, you need your homing instinct to activate driving you back.

I visited recently with a CEO who told me of veering away from his “old time religious principles,” making decisions with faulty foundations. He said he finally had the desire to “come home.” He realigned with the church finding true direction.

The challenge is to remember the lighthouse of your faith which will always shine the way home.

This week carefully consider: 1) If I were speaking to college graduates, what would I say? 2) How do I reconcile pride and humility? 3) What system do I use to nurture relationships?

Words of Wisdom: “Humility is not denying the power, but admitting it comes through you and not from you.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with a heart of mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3:12 NET Bible)

Evaluating the Training Process

Weekly Thought – November 23, 2021

Fred considered short term training and long term development two separate functions. Quick fixes and organizational Band-Aids were seen in a less than favorable light. His ideas about evaluating the process helped many corporations. This week the message is an excerpted version of his counsel.

Evaluating the Training Process

I like to ask questions as I look at the training process of my clients. Here are a few examples:

1. Is this person’s job fitting well with his/her talents? a) is this a quick fix or part of a career plan? b) does this fit the natural wiring of the individual? c) how well has the personality and talent profile of the individual been determined? For example, is the person more comfortable with team or individual projects?

2. How much willingness to do the job am I seeing? I watch to see if the person is basically enthusiastic about opportunity. If I get any sense of “Well, I’ll do it if you want me to, but I’m not really keen on it” my expectations are seriously reduced. a) How interested in accomplishment is the individual? b) Is there a natural rhythm and quickness to learning?

3. How consistent are the efforts? a) Are they sporadic or long term, consistent, day-in, day-out efforts? Business, education, or ministry cannot be run by the stops and starts of the legendary hare; talented, directed tortoises will win the day. Rudyard Kipling gave me words which have become foundational: “When only the will says go.”
4. What are the objective results? a) How much activity produces results? b) What is their actual record of measurable results? c) How often does personality, amiability, and charisma get confused for productivity? Our daughter Brenda said in recruiting and training for the financial service industry they have a phrase: “they have aptitude, but no apt-to-do.” My mentor, Maxey Jarman always told me, “Fred, show me the baby, don’t tell me about the labor pains.”

5. Is this person willing to be evaluated? a) Do they understand evaluation is to better fit them to make a contribution to the organization? b) Is resistance the sign of a character flaw? c) Do they put themselves in the position of evaluating others while avoiding any personal assessment?

Training is not an academic exercise. It is not for the purpose of applying new theories and techniques. Its bottom line must be for the progress of the organization, done effectively and objectively.

This week think about: 1) How often is evaluation and assessment part of my job? 2) What questions do I think about in approaching evaluation? 3) Which part of assessment is the most helpful to me personally?

Words of Wisdom: “Show me the baby, don’t tell me about the labor pains.”

Wisdom from the Word: The LORD said to me, “I have made you like a metal assayer to test my people like ore. You are to observe them and evaluate how they behave.” (Jeremiah 6:27 NET Bible)

Divine Alchemy

Brenda’s Blog – November 16, 2021

“I don’t think I can cry anymore.” Her words flowed from a heart broken by extreme circumstances.

“May I tell you about my tears?” was my response. She nodded and I began telling her of a failed marriage, estranged relationships with children, as well as drug addicted and incarcerated grandchildren. Yes, there were times during those years when I thought no tears would ever return – I was emotionally arid.

Then I remembered a small verse in Psalm 56 that told me my Father God sops up my tears, and puts them in a bottle. At some point the thought occurred to me those tears weren’t just stored, but transformed through divine alchemy into anointing oil, and a healing balm. For what purpose?

For that day when someone calls describing her excruciating pain, wondering if I had time to talk. After listening and watching her wipe her tears, there is a holy hush… a sacred silence. She is afraid she has said too much, or shared something I couldn’t imagine experiencing. That is the time the Lord brings out the bottle.

The tears I shed over the years have turned into the most precious of oils, the sweetest of fragrances, and the exact balm she needs. My tears have been saved in order to bring ministry.

The mystery and marvel of His bottle is the way He captures diverse tears from all manner of wounds. He prepares each of our bottles for those who will appear needing the anointing oil. We are all to share in this glorious transformation as we point to the beauty of our sufferings which are used for others.

Praise God that sad, wet droplets or tumultuous, chest-shaking sobs are all gathered by His loving hand with purpose and hope. We are privileged to share in the comforting work of the Spirit as we pour out our bottles in worship and love.

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