Clean-Up Time

Brenda’s Blog – December 31, 2019

“Ma’am, I have the old washer and dryer out. You may want to take this opportunity to sweep up before I bring the new ones in.”

“Take the opportunity…” What a smooth way to let me know there was 12 years of dust, dirt, and unclaimed socks on the floor. It made me think about the ways I could apply his suggestion.

What else could use a broom and mop? Not just around my house, but in my life. Yes, there are closets, cabinets, and shelves that need scrubbing. There are boxes of craft supplies that need to be moved on to grandchildren or community centers. I realized recently I cannot possibly live long enough to use all the plastic cups (in every possible color) I have accumulated.

Looking at “stuff” is the easy part. Transitioning to habits and life patterns is a tougher assignment. I began running an inventory of values. How loyal am I to Jesus? How faithful am I to following scripture? What captures my imagination? When do I find time for family, church, and community?

Then the broom in my hand starts to create a blister. What about looking at the way I spend my time, my money, and my energy? I used to say anyone could get a clear view of who I am if they could see my bank book, look at my mail, and review my day planner. Funny, how times have changed… no bank books, very little snail mail, and definitely no leather-bound day planner. But the analysis still stands with different online measurements!

The old adage “a new broom sweeps clean” still intrigues me. After cleaning up 12 years of washer and dryer litter, a new broom is on the shopping list.

The joy of God’s grace is in experiencing the freedom to take His opportunities to bring all the muck and mire to Him. He creates within us a clean heart. The appliance man had no idea where his kind suggestion would lead me this afternoon, but I am ever so grateful.

The Responsibility of Priorities

Weekly Thought – December 31, 2019

Fred prepared every New Year’s Eve for the next day… not by partying, or even stocking up on black-eyed peas. He got his paperwork in order to spend the next day doing his yearly personal audit. Establishing priorities constituted a large part of his analysis.

May your looking back over 2019 give you opportunities to praise the goodness of God. And may your hopes for 2020 be grounded in His faithfulness.

The Responsibility of Priorities

Andrew Carnegie once asked a consultant, “What can you do for me about time control?” The consultant said, “I’ll make one suggestion, and you send me a check for what you think its worth. Here is my suggestion: Write down on a piece of paper what you have to do in order of priority. Start with number one and complete it before you move on through the list.” Reportedly, Carnegie tried it for a few weeks and sent him a check for $10,000. That was big money in those days!

I constantly find people trying to accomplish their work as if they were eating dinner at a smorgasbord. They don’t prioritize, nor do they complete anything – they just graze. They don’t practice good time management. An executive asked me, “Fred, how in the world do you turn down people who want to play golf with you?” Honestly, that question never entered my mind. My time is as much mine as is my money. If I don’t let everybody else spend my money, I’m not going to let them spend my time.

For example, I was traveling with the president of a subsidiary company. Every time we stopped at an airport, or sat down for a minute he’d grab a great stack of magazines and begin reading. I asked, “Do you like to read?” His answer surprised me. “No, I hate to read.” “But every time I am with you, you spend the time reading. Why do you do that?” His answer: “The President of the parent company sends me these magazines.” I asked, “What would happen if you’d walk into his office and say, ‘Hey, Boss, you want me to make money or read magazines? I’m willing to do either one, but I can’t read all these magazines and do my job, too.’” I went on to speculate, I will guarantee the boss would laugh and say, “Throw those magazines in the waste basket. I sent them to you because I thought they were too current to throw away.”

A friend of mine works for a CEO who is influenced by book referrals from consultants. When the CEO returns from a conference he immediately issues memos requiring all direct reports to read the latest “hot title.” A man came in to see me who wrote a book and brought me a copy – a big, thick book. He said, “I’ll call you in a week and see what you think about my book. I don’t read books just because someone gives them to me. I only read what I am currently studying. Your book costs $10.90. Since I am a slow reader, it would take me two days to read it. That means I’d be making about $5.45 reading your book. I think my time is worth more than that.”

I have a right and responsibility to establish the priorities which will enable me to best use my God-given gifts.

This week think about: 1) How serious am I about my priorities? 2) Who needs encouragement in wise time management? 3) When am I most challenged to ignore my priorities?

Words of Wisdom: “My time is as much mine as is my money. If I don’t let everybody else spend my money, I’m not going to let them spend my time.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Whatever you are doing, work at it with enthusiasm, as to the Lord and not for people.” (Colossians 3:23 NET Bible)

Thinking About Stress

Weekly Thought – December 24, 2019

Fred traditionally did his Christmas shopping on Christmas Eve. The family all knew when he left “to run errands” he was out finding gifts. When he returned he wrapped his bounty in newspaper and put them aside. Why not under the tree? Because that was the other tradition – buying and decorating the tree as a family on Christmas Eve. It was years before the grown children realized he waited until the trees’ prices were reduced drastically.

BWF and BWFLI send Christmas blessings to each of you. Your faithful support strengthens and encourages. May your Christmas Day bring hope and trust in our Lord Jesus Christ.

Thinking About Stress

(Harold Myra and Paul Robbins queried Fred at length in the mid-1980s. One question opened the way for one of Fred’s highly identifiable thoughts: the difference between a problem and a fact of life. As we plan for 2020, it is helpful to “listen” to Fred talk about stress.)

“Back in 1965 we heard you give a talk at a Youth For Christ convention on various aspects of stress. Do you still think about this?”

Recently, I had a visit with Dr. David Morrison who is a national authority on the subject of stress. It is interesting that he considers stress to be part of a heathy person.

One of the things about stress is being able to define the areas in which you are helped by having stress. There is definitely a healthy aspect. The key is identifying the problem. I like to say a problem is something I can do something about, If I can’t do anything about it, it is not my problem. It doesn’t become my problem until there is a way I can affect the outcome. If I can’t do anything, it becomes a fact of life. I have to constantly be able to recognize and differentiate, accept, and live with the answer. I cannot solve things that are insolvable. Therefore, I spend no time thinking about them.

A young executive came up to me one morning and asked if he could talk with me. We stepped over to the side of the room away from the others. He had a distinct tremor. “Mr. Smith, last night was the most meaningful night of my life. Do you notice anything wrong with me?” “You’re trembling.” “Yes. Last night I listened as you were talking about problems and facts of life. All my life I have had this tremor and probably will have it the rest of my life. But last night I went up to my room and came to peace with it. It’s not my problem anymore; it’s a fact of life.”

Many people call things problems which actually are facts of life. For example, company policy isn’t an employee’s problem; it’s his fact of life. Mental and emotional health comes from being able to say “I will not be oppressed or anxious about things I can do nothing about.”

Don’t ask, “Is this a tense job?” That’s the wrong question. The right question is “Am I tense?” Stress provides good clues about strengths, talents, and best places to operate. It highlights weaknesses, as well, and points us away from certain jobs if we listen.

This week think about: 1) How healthy is my stress? 2) What clues am I receiving from current stress? 3) How can I apply problem v. fact of life this week?

Words of Wisdom: “I spend no time thinking about things I can do nothing about.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Anxiety in a person’s heart weighs him down, but an encouraging word brings him joy.” (Proverbs 12:25 NET Bible)

Senior Moments

Brenda’s Blog – December 17, 2019

I distinctly remember the first time a younger person addressed me as “ma’am.” It struck me – what are they saying? “I recognize you are deserving of respect?” Or, “you look like you need assistance.” Or, even worse – “I need to be useful to that old woman!” YIKES.

Last month my younger sister and I traveled with a Bible study tour to Turkey and Greece. The instructions clearly stated, “Be prepared to walk up to 5 miles a day.” Of course, I could do that. I had no doubts whatsoever.

But “walking 5 miles a day” and hiking up and down ancient ruins and racing up steps to enter the Acropolis before it closed are not within that definition for me. I realized I have moved well past the ma’am stage to downright “Here, take my arm.” Quite a stunning moment.

In raising children I enjoyed watching their developmental steps: scooting, crawling, walking, toilet training and the best of all – getting their own breakfast on Saturday so my husband and I could sleep! There is a reverse developmental pattern, as well. But how stunned I was to see I have entered into the downward spiral.

We gladly gave our children assistance as they struggled to achieve the next plateau. I am not so gladly accepting the help so kindly offered as I devolve.

My Dad’s bedbound condition in his last years could have evoked a negative response. But he handled it with poise and humor. Accepting help was done with grace. He told others, “I am not disabled; I am delightfully dependent.”

Aging is both strange and wonderful. Being the object of ministry activity for others is strange; giving others an opportunity to show God’s care is wonderful.

I may not accept this downhill process as graciously as I should, but I will also seek to understand the way God can use this aging believer.

Spiritual Reality

Weekly Thought – December 17, 2019

Fred’s influence on those in his employ encouraged many to deepen their spiritual lives. His personal goal was to stretch others… and this meant in all ways, professionally, intellectually, and spiritually. Two stories which illustrate this connection with others make up the weekly email.

The academic year ended for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute. We are grateful for those whose lives were stretched and blessed to the glory of God. Next year will introduce a deeper event focusing on constructive conversations on key topics and intense follow-up. Your friendship and financial support is appreciated. Your donations, prayer, and encouraging words strengthen our leading.

Spiritual Reality

I received an essay from a former employee. I took it home to see if Mary Alice could guess at the authorship; she couldn’t determine the writer. She was as amazed as I had been when I first read it. The woman was a professional who adopted a cynical attitude about the church and faith. She continued to go through habit, but without a vital relationship. However, difficulties changed all of that.

She wrote: “When troubles came, my strength which I felt was so great began to crumble. It started slowly then finally disintegrated. Despair began to fill my life. Because I had grown up in the church I began to turn to prayer. My communication with God was no longer the ritualistic process I had always followed… it was real. Talking to God about me, my problems, and my life because ‘me’ was a good place to start. I knew something was wrong there that needed to be straightened out before we started to even work on my problems. For a long time I knew there was something missing, and I was secretly, yet constantly searching. There was a gnawing in my stomach that was ever present. I now know the feeling was a result of a lack of peace within. Now I have an intangible presence which is very difficult to convey in words, but it is as real as anything I have ever known.” Her essay on faith was a multi-paged piece on peace.

She moved from depending on a social and personal reservoir of strength to spiritual reality.

The letter began, “Fred, the Lord and friends have been more generous with me than I could ever deserve. I have just returned from Switzerland, Austria, and several South American countries where I have been doing medical lectures. I’m working full time and my practice has exceeded all my expectations. Currently I am working on a contribution to a medical textbook.”

This may sound like a typical success story. But when I first met him he was coming out of a battle with alcohol which had immobilized his practice, and his personal life. Through this struggle he found the reality of faith. And even more, he found not only sobriety, but a caring nature which has replaced his cynicism. He came out of a life depending on his ability to make it to the understanding of the reality of God.

This week think about: 1) Where is my strength? 2) Who is in my realm of influence can use a word of hope? 3) How can I expand the reach of the Gospel in my life?

Words of Wisdom: “She moved from depending on a social and personal reservoir of strength to spiritual reality.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Finally, be strengthened in the Lord and in the strength of his power” (Ephesians 6:10 NET Bible)

San Angelo Prayer Breakfast

Weekly Thought – December 10, 2019

Fred’s prayer life was personal. He never raised his hand to be the “public prayer expert.” His prayer was part of his private devotional life. His daughter Brenda commented on seeing her Dad kneeling by his bed nightly during her childhood at home. “To see this strong man humbly coming before the Lord marked me.”

Thank you for supporting the team at Palm Beach Atlantic University last month. Ongoing reports from President William Fleming and other campus leaders reinforce the effective ministry of the What’s Next Roundtable.

San Angelo Prayer Breakfast

(Note: Fred was invited by his friend Max Hulse to be the initial speaker as San Angelo, Texas established their annual Prayer Breakfast, inspired by the National Prayer Breakfast in Washington, DC. This newspaper article written by Ron Durham covered the event. Fred’s thoughts in the 1980s still speak to us today.)

“Despite indications that the nation is in the Dark Ages morally, there are enough true believers acting out their commission as ‘the light of the world’ to prompt optimism,” Dallas businessman Fred Smith told an audience Thursday.

The remarks from Smith, a businessman, author, and inspirational speaker, was received enthusiastically by the approximate 600 people attending San Angelo’s version of the National Prayer Breakfast. This was the first-ever event.

“Prayer is a relationship that unites us instead of a doctrine which divides us.” At another point he said “moral problems require spiritual solutions.”

Acknowledging that “these are turbulent times because we are between Christian and non-Christian ideas.” He compared these times to a trapeze artist letting go of one bar and flying through the air reaching for the next swing.

Citing others who agree that the nation is in moral decline, Smith referred to Russian dissident Alexander Solzhenitszyn’s remark “the West is spiritually weary.” He quoted newsman Ted Koppel’s observation that “the ten commandments have become the ten suggestions.”

He also observed that the culture’s materialistic bent only points to a hole in the soul. “Many people have means but very little meaning.”

Smith posed a blunt challenge to members of churches and synagogues to live up to the claims of their faith. He referenced a recent study which said only 10% of church and synagogue members showed any significant difference in their lifestyle from non-members.

On the brighter side, he spoke of strong ministries growing and flourishing. He cited prison ministries and others focused on professional athletes which are the reason for optimism. He observed what he is seeing in the number of people who are verbalizing their desire to move from success to significance.

This week think about: 1) How can I apply Fred’s words from the mid-80s to my life today? 2) Which quote is particularly applicable to me? 3) If I were asked to address a prayer breakfast, what would I say?

Words of Wisdom: “Prayer is a relationship that unites us instead of a doctrine which divides us.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Lord, teach us to pray.” (Luke 11:1 NET Bible)

Emotional Hematoma

Brenda’s Blog – December 3, 2019

(This is excerpt two from my book Divine Confinement, written during a seven year caregiving period).

“The blood has pooled creating a hematoma. Don’t put pressure on it, don’t pierce it, and it will naturally be absorbed into the body.”

Those were the instructions to Mom and me as she was being discharged from the hospital. But all she could see was a monstrous red mound on her tiny arm. “What happened?” “What caused it?” I think I must have learned cause and effect from this little woman who still searches for who to blame, desperately hoping it isn’t her.

This week Mom was hospitalized for a seizure and Dad had cancer surgery.

Those 13 words are the “what caused it” of my emotional hematoma. No one can see the bulbus gathering, but it is as real as was Mom’s on her hand. “Don’t bang it – don’t prick it – or you will cause damage.” The emotions of this week have pooled in my spirit and I need time to reach equilibrium and reabsorption. In Dr. Swenson’s great book Margin he talks about living in the red zone where we use adrenaline designed for emergencies in our everyday lives. I felt I was living there for way too long.

My emotional thermostat overheated. It is time for some coolant and time for some comfort. Hopefully, it will come through resting, not ingesting. Christ is the answer – not chocolate.

PS In April 2018 I was at Lindsey Wilson College in Columbia, KY with a team from the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute. After the evening session I stepped off a curb, went face down into the gravel, and was ungracefully raised up by two strong college professors. Nothing was broken, but my pride was badly bruised.

However, for the next 12 months I watched an enormous hematoma on one knee gradually reabsorb. Over and over I thought about the words I wrote during my caregiving time. This swelling on my knee reminded me again of the process, both physical and emotional.

Emotional Perspectives

Weekly Thought – December 3, 2019

Fred thought continually about maturity. He considered various aspects of character development, bringing clarity. Growth was not casual or optional for him, but part of his responsibility to his God-given gifts and others.

Emotional Perspectives

When down times come here are three approaches that most take 1) fret, 2) become apathetic, or 3) become active.

If we choose activity we have to be careful to recognize both negative and positive results may follow. Oftentimes when we go into overdrive to avoid things we fear we risk heading into circumstances which are worse than those we are avoiding. When we take on negative behaviors like drugs or alcohol to keep our eyes averted from a disappointment, we can create even bigger problems.

A better alternative is recognizing the truth of the situation, then using our energies to take positive action rather than fretting, hiding, or making the situation worse. Downtimes can spur creativity. It is also a time for habits which get us through almost by rote. And a note here – these habits are established well before they are needed.

It is also critical to establish a method for working through the valleys. Taking charge of emotions is healthier than just giving in and spiraling downward. Children are reactionary, but healthy adults learn to have a repertoire of responses.

These dark times often follow mistakes we make. I am convinced the knowledge that we can come back, that we have resilience allows us to forgive ourselves and start again. When we do not feel we can come back we are tempted to transfer the responsibility for the failure to others.

The energy needed to build back can easily be sapped by wallowing in the emotional pit. Directing energies into climbing out and moving forward is the sign of emotional maturity.

Emotional valleys have value. Too many fail to see and use the deep places. In fact, many refuse to admit they are not on the mountain tops. They work hard to fill in the valleys with artificial means. Some choose overdosing on motivational messages, masks, denial, and down-right lying to themselves and others. How authentic can a person be exclaiming “Things couldn’t be better!” when clearly everything is falling down around them?

It is better to relax and take the valley rather than delaying and falling headlong into the pit.

And I learned a long time ago the food we eat on the mountain top was grown in the valley!

Words of Wisdom: “It is also critical to establish a method for working through the valleys.”

Wisdom from the Word: “As the mountains rose up, and the valleys went down— to the place you appointed for them.” (Psalm 104:8 NET Bible)

Time Control

Weekly Thought – November 26, 2019

Fred was once referred to as an “efficiency expert.” In the 1950s as modern management theory developed this phrase became popular. But Fred did not adopt this description. His masterful understanding of people, organizational dynamics, and human practices made him helpful to American corporations.

Your continuing support of our work encourages us month by month. We are consistently reminded how timeless Fred’s thinking and writing were. Your partnerships with us allow us to continue the work. Thank you.

Time Control

(Fred kept a notebook with topical illustrations from his experience. These three are excellent examples)

While consulting with Mobil Oil Corporation, VP of Marketing (Baxter Ball) and I developed a phrase which we used to minimize unnecessary work, and centralize the organization’s thinking about what Bax and I were trying to do. We coined the phrase, “Object of the Exercise.” For us this meant putting into one sentence what we were doing. We found out how seldom most people do this. Now my usual practice is to start each day by defining the work and identifying “the object of the exercise.” For me, this is the essence of time control.

One of my early bosses had a sign on his wall: “Results is the only excuse for activity.” On one occasion I was using a great many words to amplify the activity in order to cover up the meager results. Mid-sentence he interrupted me, “Fred, please, show me the baby and don’t tell me about the labor pains.” So often we get caught up in the entire labor process without ever seeing the baby. He wasn’t unkind. He taught me a valuable lesson in time control that I never forgot. And, my family will tell you they, too, have been “urged” to show me the baby!

I was having lunch with the President of a large American corporation. During the meal he told me he decided to leave his briefcase at work, never taking it home. This surprised me, for certainly I couldn’t understand any executive choosing to be so disrespectful of the responsibility to look conscientious. How could he leave his office without his briefcase? What would others think? I asked him how he could possibly depart from the time-proven image of an executive with his briefcase in hand each evening. “Simple, Fred. I found that all day long I was sorting papers, deciding which ones would go home with me at night. I stopped sorting papers and started doing my work.” I found this to be a helpful illustration of time control.

These three illustrations keep me focused on accomplishment and productivity – and away from the good Texas expression: “fixin’ to.” Managing time well is critical to living and leading well.

This week think about: 1) How well am I handling my time? 2) Which of these illustrations resonates with me? 3) What other illustrations come to mind which help me control my time?

Words of Wisdom: “What is the object of the exercise?”

Wisdom from the Word? “For everything there is an appointed time, and an appropriate time for every activity on earth.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1 NET Bible)

Divine Confinement

Brenda’s Blog – November 19, 2019

(Note) In 2005 I published a book titled Divine Confinement: Facing Seasons of Limitation. It was written during a seven year season of mine while my parents lived out their last days in my house. A section of the book was devoted to short personal responses. I called them “Musings and Amusings.” For the next few months I will share some of them as the bi-monthly blogs. Brenda A. Smith’s book is available as a Kindle book on Amazon here.

Divine Confinement

“You must feel confined.”

Just a passing comment, but it scored a direct hit in my soul. Confinement, yes that is exactly what I feel. I am under house arrest. I sit in my office, looking out the window much like Robert Louis Stevenson lay in a childhood bed of sickness, pretending grand and glorious adventures.

Sadly, I often go into an electronic stupor ad overdose on HGTV. But this isn’t a random confinement – this is one appointed by God – this is divine confinement.

I can either continue making chalk marks on the wall denoting time served, or I can see that this is really a learning lab created to mold me into usefulness. Haven’t I been confined before – a marriage gone bad, a broken relationship with a child, a job with no hope of success, an addiction to chocolate and ice cream, a mean and jealous spirit, a wandering heart — weren’t these all confinements?

But how much better to see God’s hand in this and know that He has the key and that He came to set the prisoners free. I won’t be here on day longer than I need to be and in an ironic twist, Mom and Dad won’t be here one day longer than God knows that I need them to be. Who is taking care of whom?

Aren’t they the stuff of which this confinement is made, so aren’t they the stuff of which the divine purpose will be constructed? And then, ultimately they will be my source of freedom for I will learn to trust Him, love them more dearly, and understand freedom is not lack of confinement, but the recognition that it is divine.

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