Tongue Management

Weekly Thought – May 19, 2015

Fred thoroughly enjoyed challenges. He moved a refrigerator by himself once just to see if he could figure out the principles of leveraging. He accepted mental experiments, as well. In his later years when he was bed-bound, he stayed awake all night thinking of punch lines to jokes. At 2:00am, he finally fell asleep.

Your ongoing support and encouragement mean much to us. We gratefully accept the challenge to bring you bite-sized portions of Fred’s wisdom week by week. Please pray for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute teams as they begin their preparation for the 2016 schedule.

Tongue Management

Historians credit the discovery of fire as one of the most critical for civilization. Its positive properties are many, but unmanaged it is destructive. Scripture refers to the tongue as similar to fire. Management of this organ starts with the heart. Our speech comes from our inner thoughts and desires.
For the tongue to have freedom, the spirit must have purity. It must be purged of ego, greed, hostility. The poisonous word comes from the toxic heart.

Years ago I was asked to be interim music director for a small church in suburban Nashville. When I agreed, the pastor asked me to sign a covenant stating I would not criticize anyone while I was there. I agreed to do it almost as an experiment, for it was so contrary to my general disposition. After a few months I realized I never felt more community than I did there. As I look back, I realize it was the fact of refusing to say anything negative about anyone that made the difference. I could face any person there with complete freedom because I had never said a hurtful word about anyone.

The Wrong Question

How tired I get of hearing people question the goodness of God by saying, “How could a loving God let my dear one die with cancer?” Disease came with the fall, not the callousness of God. The question is, “What evil did we bring on ourselves when Adam and Eve sinned?” We live in a fallen world bearing the consequences of disease, disastrous choices, and disabling habits. To question the character of God because we either don’t understand or don’t accept is immature thinking. We can struggle with the outcomes, but we must correctly ask the questions. Too seldom do I hear Satan blamed. He has become the practitioner of transference, ascribing to God his nefarious activities. Out eternal enemy is Satan but he, like some of our political leaders, is a great spinmeister and gets us to perceive either God or other believers as our enemy. The question we must always be asking is, “How can we know God for who He is?”

This week think about: 1) How well do I manage my tongue? Do “tongues of fire” defeat me more than I like? 2) What would a week without a critical remark look like? 3) What am I learning about the nature of God right now?

Words of Wisdom: “For the tongue to have freedom, the spirit must have purity. It must be purged of ego, greed, hostility. The poisonous word comes from the toxic heart.”

Wisdom from the Word: “If someone thinks he is religious yet does not bridle his tongue, and so deceives his heart, his religion is futile.” (James 1:26 NET Bible)

Everyone is Motivated

Weekly Thought – May 12, 2015

Fred’s interest in how people think and act enabled him to serve his management consulting clients well. He operated intuitively, understanding the principles of body language, word choice, and behavior. He also studied human nature through reading, associations, and constant observation.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is an outreach of the BWF Project, Inc. which began as a way to “relevantly communicate the lifework of Fred Smith, Sr.” We now extended the work throughout the country by touching Christian college campuses with our focus on “stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.”

Everyone is Motivated

We use motivation as if it were only a forward motion at various speeds. This is a misunderstanding.
Those who are doing nothing are motivated to do nothing. Those who are active are motivated by activity. If we are to stimulate people with the desire to do nothing, we have to overcome the fundamental motivation to do nothing. Forward motion isn’t automatic.

I was told by a corporate president who manufactured railroad engines that the biggest problem was getting enough power to start the train rolling. Aircraft designers have to build in enough power to break the pull of gravity before they can ascend.

As leaders we need to recognize that inertia is motivation-based, not just the lack of motivation.

Creating Thirst

Dr. Howard Rome, the eminent psychiatrist, once told me: “Fred, you don’t understand motivation until you understand thirst. Motivation is satisfying a thirst.”

When Howard said that, I thought about the church. Many pastors are presenting water to non-thirsty members. The person who doesn’t want to understand scripture doesn’t listen, even to the very best teaching. Pastors who are thirsty to teach and preach the Bible must find listeners with the desire to hear. This may be one of the great frustrations in preaching.

In any situation, we must first recognize the lack of thirst and strive to create it before we can provide the satisfactory quenching they will gladly receive.

The Power of Passion

The respected church consultant, Lyle Schaller, has said, “If a pastor does not have a passion for the mission, he can forget the rest of leadership.” A passion to make a worthwhile difference is indispensable to effectiveness. Passion and vision need to work together. Passion energizes vision, and vision disciplines the passion. The clearer the vision, the greater the passion.

This week think about: 1) How clear is my vision? 2) What motivates me – to activity and inactivity? 3) When do I operate most effectively within my passion?

Words of Wisdom: “The clearer the vision, the greater the passion.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be satisfied.” (Matthew 5:6 NET Bible)

Unbounded Creativity

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Brenda’s Blog – May 5, 2015

“Every child is an artist.” – Pablo Picasso

These words are painted on the wall above my Illinois grandchildren’s play area. It stops me for a moment each time I look at it.

What happens between childhood and adulthood? Where does the unbounded creativity go? When do we become self-conscious about our artistic efforts?

My pastor’s wife started a crafting group and calls it “A Beautiful Mess.” Don’t you love that? This last week they painted, but not without some trepidation. “What if I can’t do it? What if mine looks really bad? What if I don’t have any talent?” Melissa emphasized the gifts of a God whose magnificent artistry is seen throughout our world. She encouraged freedom in expressing the joyfulness of using brushes and paint.

During the last week my friend and co-worker Pat Walters and I traveled throughout the states of Kentucky and Tennessee. Over and over we oohed and aahed at the touch of God’s hand. We are blessed to be sons and daughters of a God who builds into us the ability to respond to the beauty of His creation.

How can we take down the walls which cause us to demand perfection in our efforts? How can we deny self-consciousness the power to inhibit our creativity? How can we reclaim the joy of childhood?

Being grown-up doesn’t mean giving up the freedoms which make childhood so precious. Our spirits should still dance, sing, and paint. Let’s rediscover the “child within” who is truly an artist. Let’s open our hearts with abandon and wonderfully enjoy the life God has so graciously given.

Question for you: “If no one were watching, what would your child love to do?” Second question: “What keeps you from doing it?”

Rejoice in being the child of God!

A Real Fire

Weekly Thought – May 5, 2015

Fred and Mary Alice married in June, 1937. Without money, a honeymoon was impossible. They boarded a trolley in downtown Nashville, rode to a Krystal burger restaurant and shared a slider, the little bite-sized menu item. In some ways, his mini-essays are wisdom sliders – bite-sized servings of thought.

A Real Fire

A.W. Tozer remarked that his flame might be small but it was real. It is important that the fire be authentic. One can start a forest fire with a single match, but can’t light a bonfire with a poster of a match, no matter how blazing the flame. A picture of a blowtorch remains a picture. The counterfeit life becomes old but the zeal of the dedicated life cannot be quenched.

Healthy Attrition

A certain attrition rate in leadership is healthy. The armed services actually look for a wash-out percentage… the Army has seven; the Marines have fourteen and it is rumored some drill sergeants think it should be as much as twenty-five percent!

We don’t focus on disqualifying people, but we should not keep people in our organizations who self-disqualify either by lack of character or gifts.

Making people aware of their shortcomings isn’t easy, but is crucial. I say this knowing how painful discouragement can be. It happened to me. I started out in voice lessons, hoping for an operatic career. Fortunately, I had an honest teacher. One morning after a lesson he said, “Fred, you have everything to be a successful vocal artist. You work harder than any of my other students; you have a great desire to sing well. You are only lacking one thing – talent. You are sacrificing to study with me. You can’t make it professionally, so don’t waste your life trying.”

He was so right and so courageous. He blessed me with his honesty. I went into business where I was talented.

Helping someone discern their gifts is one of the great joys. Assisting men and women to exit as well as enter careers is an act of wisdom.

Seminaries should discourage poor leaders before they assume pastoral positions and demonstrate their inabilities. Always remember what Spurgeon told his young preaching students: “Young man, if you can’t speak, you weren’t called to preach.” Certainly God can develop skills that are immature, but rarely does He call us to work for which He doesn’t gift us.

This week think about: 1) Who helped me recognize my strengths? 2) Where am I trying to follow a dream that may not be mine? 3) How real is my fire?

Words of Wisdom: “We don’t focus on disqualifying people, but we should not keep people in our organizations who self-disqualify either by lack of character or gifts.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For the gifts and the call of God are irrevocable.” (Romans 11:29 NET Bible)

Political Positioning

Weekly Thought – April 28, 2015

Fred enjoyed taking an idea and chasing it down. As we enter into his “blogosphere” with his mini-essays, we get a glimpse of this mental exercise. Golf was one of his great loves, so inspiration from this sport is very natural.

We appreciate all who are part of the BWF community. Your interest, your encouragement, and your support are gratefully received.

Political Positioning

To place an individual in a position outside his gift for political purposes is leadership prostitution.
God has endowed each person with gift that will glorify Himself. When we use the person for our own political security without regard for their gifting we are taking something that should be honoring God and taking it for our own benefit.

I refuse to work outside my gift even though I have received a great deal of pressure to assume work expectations out of loyalty to my friend, the leader.

I have listened to many Sunday School teachers who definitely lacked the gift of teaching. They were organizational loyalists and caved into the pleadings of a friend who needed to fill the teaching roster. Sadly, even religious associations promote some to leadership out of expediency or “they deserved it” thinking. When they have none of the gifts necessary they either flail or fail. Or, they carry the title and someone else does the work. (more…)

Never Alone

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Brenda’s Blog – April 20, 2015

“Are your Mommy and Daddy in heaven? Are you all by yourself?”

Granddaughter Emma’s sweet questions were spoken with genuine concern. She was most interested to know why I didn’t have parents. As we talked about it, she asked “Did Jesus hold your Mommy’s hand when she went to heaven?”

Yes, I am the eldest in my line. No, I do not have living parents. But I am not alone. I have a Father who promised never to leave me.

Charles Stanley’s birth father died when he was just months old. He recognized as an older adult he had never called anyone “Dad,” or “Father.” Having grown up with a Dad who loved me through all the ups and downs, Stanley’s statement touched my heart. It gives me encouragement to know as a believer in Jesus Christ, Dr. Stanley had the privilege of calling the God of creation Abba which is translated Daddy.

Most of my friends have parents in heaven. The common denominator is a sense of loss combined with great appreciation. We laugh as we find ourselves saying and doing things which remind us of them. We approach decisions hearing their counsel. We honor their memories by telling their stories and building on their legacies. The journey from earth to heaven becomes shorter and we focus on the eternal more than the temporal.

Someday Emma will have a Gram who is taken by Jesus into heaven. I hope she remembers someone who trusted Jesus day by day, and loved her unconditionally. I hope she has stories of time spent building a relationship which will last for her lifetime. Most of all, I want her to know she is the daughter of a King who will never leave her or forsake her. She is His precious princess.

It Works

Weekly Thoughts – April 21, 2015

Fred blogged before blogging was cool (or even a word). Often in the middle of the night he awoke, grabbed his tape recorder, and created what he called “mini essays.” They capture a thought in post-size pieces. Two of them are shared and more will come. Fred is regarded as “timely and timeless” because his thinking fit way before and way after his time.

THANK YOU for praying as we begin the planning for the 2016 Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institutes.

It Works

Recently I attended a Guideposts seminar on “The Power of Positive Thinking in Business.” Attending was a very bright woman executive who was EVP of a large corporation. During the break she wanted to visit.

In the conversation she said, I used to be a Methodist but now I’m an all-out New Ager because it works for me. She said it with such emphasis, conviction, and triumph I wanted to learn more of her story but the break ended.

When I hear leaders claim God’s blessings on their efforts because “it works” I question their thinking. Many times we rationalize questionable methods as practical because “they work – human methods”.

Is “working” the real test of spiritual endeavors? My friend Warren Hultgren, the former pastor of the First Baptist Church of Tulsa, OK, pointed out to me that “working” is a faulty measure. After all, Moses got water after striking the rock twice… it looked like it worked. But he was denied access into the Promised Land for his disobedience. (more…)

Education Matters

Weekly Thought – April 14, 2015

Fred highly regarded education. Unable to attend college, he spent a lifetime studying. Often when he spoke at colleges he laughed about having to wear a “choir robe” because he had no doctoral hood. He exemplified a true student who encouraged others in the pursuit of wisdom.

The BWFLI schedule is developing well. Please continue to pray for us as we begin the planning.

Education Matters

President John F. Kennedy, addressing an assemblage of Nobel laureates at the White House, and said, “I think this is the most extraordinary collection of talent and human knowledge assembled for a White House dinner since Thomas Jefferson dined alone.”

Education is not solitary. One of the reasons we get together is to pool our knowledge and experience. The purpose isn’t competition, but coordination. Each of us in the room knows something that the others do not. The stimulating challenge is the sharing until you realize what you did not know.

Our political environment demonstrates the necessity of true education. In a cynical moment Robert Louis Stevenson said, “Politics is the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary.” In today’s complex world this opinion is proven false.

Aristotle believed that proper governance depended on the education of the youth. But what they learn is critical. Through formal education, each generation can build on the knowledge of the prior. I believe this is only true if we accept the principles that the knowledge produced. If we deny the principles, then we are starting to reinvent the wheel. And the preparation needed for leadership is lacking. (more…)

When the Light is Flashing, Help is on the Way

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Brenda’s Blog – April 7, 2015

“When the Light is Flashing, Help is on the Way.”

There is not much to do while standing in an empty elevator by yourself except read the instrument panel. The emergency button always draws my attention. This language particularly intrigued me.

Wouldn’t it be nice if God gave us a pulsating red sign of His presence and His aid? In times of great distress (even self-defined emergencies), we suddenly feel silence and aloneness. Philip Yancey wrote the classic, “Where Is God When It Hurts?” This universal question has no cultural or linguistic barriers. David, the Psalmist, agonized about the quiet times. He cried out from caves, courts, and chaos pleading for the Lord to show Himself.

Christians root in the belief that He is the God who is there, as Frances Schaeffer wrote. We do not serve a wooden idol, made by men’s hands. We have a transcendental, external God who is all-powerful, all-knowing, and ever present.

So what do we do in those moments when the path seems dark and the voice doesn’t come instructing or even comforting? We do exactly what passengers on a stranded elevator do… sound the alarm, trust the message, and wait. We know He will never leave us nor forsake us. We may not have a flashing light, but we live in the light of His Word.

Dr. W.A. Criswell eloquently preached his theme of the “scarlet thread” which he followed from Genesis to Revelation. This thread is Jesus. And truly, the message in the Old Testament is “Help is on the way.” The New Testament assures us that “Help came in the flesh.” And joyfully, as we stand in the elevator today we see the scarlet thread and its message: “Help is coming again.”

In the times when heaven seems closed up and confusion controls, let’s stop and remember – the flashing light is Jesus and help is with us, not just merely on the way.

Living Influence

Weekly Thought – April 7, 2015

Fred believed in the impact of influence. He respected the wisdom of others and grew from their input. Now his accumulation of thought is helpful to multiple generations.

Thank you for allowing us the privilege of sharing Fred’s wisdom.

Living Influence

Influence never dies. You may talk to me about the imprint of your parents then say, “but they are dead.” No, they are not for you are still alive and their influence lives on through you – for better or for worse. We each ripple the pond of human life. Some make dainty circles while others make big splashes. Yet the movement of the water continues.

When my friend Dr. Julian Gumperz died in New York City, the newspaper headlined, “The awesome intellect of Dr. Gumperz is gone.” I disagree. It never will be completely gone as long as any of us who learned from him remain active and alive.

This is human immortality.

Once I was introducing dancer Ray Bolger at the Convention Center in Las Vegas. Therefore, I decided to catch his act the night before. It was one of the most touching, philosophical dance numbers I have ever seen. He came on stage with an orchestra out of sight and simply gave the signature dances of the greatest artists of all time. The audience, familiar with these performers, recognized Bill Robinson dancing up the steps, or Fred Astaire tapping from one surface to another. (more…)

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