Brenda’s Blog – September 16, 2014

“This mouse makes me crazy!  I am always typing where I don’t mean to.”

My sweet friend called to read me a letter.  When she made changes, she went through the infuriating experience of finding the “bouncing ball” in a totally unexpected place and her revisions inserted into strange locales.

This exasperates me, as well.  My typing speed is rapid and to find letters suddenly appearing randomly out of order frustrates me.  “Why can’t it just stay where it is and make things simple?”

What is the answer?  Clearly, to make no corrections, additions, or deletions would solve the problem.  But speedy as I am, mistake-free performance is yet to be accomplished.

No, the answer is to check the position of the little black line (there must be a technical term for it) before typing to see that it is aligned in the desired position.  Sounds easy enough, but when my mind gets going, and my fingers engage, my lower tier tasks (like visual contact with the line) fall off the list—-until I find my letters smack dab in the middle of a word three paragraphs up on the page.

Why is this worthy of consideration?  For one reason:  good leaders make sure their ducks are in a row before taking flight.  It is easy to think about the larger picture, and move forward with the vision without checking to see if the action steps are in the sync with the mission.  We laughingly talk about “ready, fire, aim,” but failing to see the next step clearly brings healthy forward progress to a screeching halt.  Action before assessment equals time wasted.

I consistently remind myself to make sure the black line and my mind are in the same place, but consistently I begin typing only to discover that crazy little whatever has a mind of its own and wanders – much to my chagrin.  People are the same way.  Unless they are in line with the direction, time is wasted recovering momentum, retraining, restructuring, and starting again.

Bringing goals and little black lines into conformity makes the job at hand so much easier!

Brenda’s Blog – September 2, 2014

“Will, it is really dark down here.”  “Emma, the longer you are down here the lighter it gets.”

This exchange between two of my grandchildren as we climbed down into the basement struck me.  Isn’t that true of life, as well?

I think of the times when I stepped into the dark places through bad choices and failed to flee.  The longer I stayed, the less the darkness bothered me.  Indeed, as Will said, “it gets lighter.”

A friend’s TV broke and for months he just didn’t watch.  Eventually, he replaced it and began viewing again.  He told me the shock was palpable.  He had become numb to the objectionable material; he had immunized himself against the seduction of the scenarios.  In seven months he had detoxed and now the impact was powerful.

The pull of the darkness is strong.  Web pages measure “stickiness,” meaning how long people stay.  Bad decisions can draw us into a quagmire which envelopes us.  Finding a way back to the light demands intentional action and positive resolve.

As children we sang a little song with the words, “Be careful little eyes what you see….”  The verses continue with ears and hands.  The rest of the chorus says, “For the Father up above is looking down in love.”  We have a heavenly Father who wants us to live in the truth Light.  He makes a way of escape.

Wise leaders constantly monitor their light meters.  Adjusting to the dark is a poor substitute for adequate lighting.  We do our best work in bright environments. 

Brenda’s Blog – August 19, 2014

“When Mama put on her lipstick, it meant we was going to town.” 

The friendly woman told me of her rural upbringing as we visited before I spoke for her church group.  She said most of their time was spent on the farm with a no-frills, no-nonsense lifestyle.  We both laughed as she told me of her Mom’s clue.  They all hustled to get going because they knew Mom was “on the ready.”

What signals do we send?  In Glenn Beck’s book The Overton Window he described a young employee who glanced at her watch during her powerful employer’s remarks.  When the boss stared at her, the room saw what time it really was… “time for her to find another job, in another city, in another industry.”  His wordless look spoke loudly and clearly.

Years ago I went to hear Elizabeth Elliott speak in Dallas.  My Mom attended with a friend.  As I walked into the room, I saw her far across the aisles.  Quickly I read her lips: “That’s Brenda!”  Her smile told me of her love and gladness in seeing me.  I often replay that scene and remember the sense of acceptance I felt.

At a formal dinner, I sat with two executives who questioned the choice of the new CEO.  They bowed and scraped in his presence, but during his speech they caught each other’s gaze and exchanged rolled eyes.  Those weren’t just clues – those were red flags.  Not surprisingly, they were urged to pursue other career opportunities within the next year.

How clear are our actions?  Do we confuse colleagues or family members by mismatched walk and talk patterns?  Do we enable friends or associates to confidently and accurately read us?  Is it possible to hinder communication with muddy messages?

How well I remember the decibel game with the children.  They had an uncanny ability to know exactly when I hit the sound level they read as, “She means it this time!”  Ratcheting up until obedience is inefficient.

Consultants cash big checks garnered by training others to read body language, word usage, and breathing patterns.  They know how to play the game of Clue for People!

We all use the unspoken as shorthand.  Let’s make sure it is consistent with our intentions and effective in its outcome.  When we put on our lipstick, let’s be certain all those around us know we are going to town.