BWFLI team stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders at East Texas Baptist University

Cliff Shiepe, best-selling author, inspires students

ETBU students gathered at midnight to discuss “What’s Next” and job market tips

Former All-American, All-Pro Bill Glass stirring the athletes

ETBU Steering Committee Chair Emily Prevost and BWFLI President Brenda A. Smith sharing a celebratory moment

BWFLI team stretching and blessing the next generation of leaders at East Texas Baptist University
Cliff Shiepe, best-selling author, inspires students
ETBU students gathered at midnight to discuss “What’s Next” and job market tips
Former All-American, All-Pro Bill Glass stirring the athletes
ETBU Steering Committee Chair Emily Prevost and BWFLI President Brenda A. Smith sharing a celebratory moment

Aging Well

Brenda’s Blog – January 12, 2021

“Fred, I am turning 80 and I want you to tell me what I need to be thinking about.”

Dad was completing his 80s as his friend Ed Yates asked that question. Their friendship of at least 50 years consisted of common interests, relationships, faith, and eagerness to learn. Neither stopped searching until their last breath – literally. Ed and Gloria were the last non-family members to visit with Dad before he began his transition to heaven. As 2020 was closing Ed completed his assignment and went home to Jesus.

His question serves as a prod for me, as well. What did Dad say?

1) Make longer plans. If you start operating short-term you are giving yourself permission to die. He and Mom bought carpeting in their 80s with a 25 year warranty. Don’t shortcut your goals.
2) Be clear about your uniqueness and be a taskmaster managing the use of your gifts. Don’t allow other people to spend your time or energy because both are diminishing resources.
3) Invest your time, don’t spend it. Choose carefully so that you receive dividends, not pile up debts.
4) Leaving a legacy, not an estate is a better aim.
5) Work to create a relationship with kids where they love you, but don’t need you. Don’t establish a golden chain that ties them to you through financial support that they can’t sustain independently.
6) Be grateful. When the time comes be “delightfully dependent,” not a miserable old man.
7) Don’t make a junkyard of your old age by making foolish decisions. Guard your heart and mind.
8) Mature spiritually. Getting old doesn’t automatically make you spiritual. In fact, illness and incapacity can war against spiritual peace. Deliberately grow in grace and being “useful to the Master.”

There were more, but these bear an indelible mark.

I think of those coming behind me who are stepping into the next decade. Wouldn’t it be good for us who are farther along to construct answers in case they ask: what do I need for my 50s, 60s 70s?

Window into Character

Weekly Thought – January 12, 2021

Fred understood everyone had a mixture of clay and iron. Someone asked him how he could develop a strong friendship with a man others found difficult. “I am attracted to the magnetic draw of the iron; you are pushed away by the clay.” He knew how to measure character and highly valued integrity.

Thank you for your faithful support during 2020. Please pray for BWFLI as we approach our Christian colleges and universities, making plans for the new virtual format.

Window into Character

It would be helpful if we could have a load-limit sign on our character like those on bridges. One of my preacher friends was coming under the influence of an extremely wealthy parishioner. As my friend was plied with benefits of the relationship, the person began asking questionable favors. My friend broke off the relationship saying, “I am afraid I have a price, and you’re getting too close to it.”

Character is a set of values we have chosen to live by, and hopefully ones that will work under pressure. It reminds me of the professional golfers who speak of wanting a golf swing “that will work on Sunday,” meaning one that works under pressure.

As a leader, a friend, or a mentor, I try to validate the areas of strength or weakness in the character of those with whom I share responsibility. I have sometimes been criticized by my associates for going to what they feel are extreme lengths to ascertain this measure. I do it for a definite reason – I don’t want to be surprised. I want to know the person so I can build on his strengths and buttress his weaknesses. Since character is the foundation of relationships and accomplishments, I don’t apologize for evaluating. I prefer to do the testing when failure is not fatal.

Marines build character that will stand up under fire. They don’t want failure when it counts most. “To “give others the benefit of the doubt” sounds good, but this is not good stewardship in leadership. Napoleon said that the most dangerous general was one who fought based on fantasy. This is true of all leaders. Fantasy and false character evaluations lead to tragic conclusions.

How do I evaluate? I start with the known past. Few people change character as adults. I not only quiz the person, but also everyone who might be knowledgeable. If I am interviewing for a key role, I always interview the spouse, as well. Our close friends and family know more about our character than they might even know about our skills and talents. They don’t read our resumes they read our lives.

Stories reveal the heart. People become involved in stories. Humor draws out spontaneous reactions, which are a window into character. In the past I have been the keynote speaker for sales conferences meeting in Las Vegas. I notice that the comedians who headline always test the edge of social acceptance, especially relating to ridiculing religion and God. Listen to the audience’s reaction and you quickly get an evaluation of the crowd’s character.

Knowing the load limit on your character gives you the freedom to say no. A strongly developed character is a definite asset to experience and well-honed skills. There may be a gap in knowledge, but most failures occur because of cracks in the foundational character. As we evaluate others, it is imperative to check ourselves. Being blindsided can cause great loss, professionally and personally.

This week carefully consider: 1) What are my strengths? Weaknesses? 2) How careful am I to evaluate potential associates? 3) Where are my blind spots in assessing others?

Words of Wisdom “Fantasy and false character evaluations lead to tragic conclusions.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Equity and justice are the foundation of your throne. Loyal love and faithfulness characterize your rule.” (Psalm 89:14 NET Bible)

Coming Back To Fundamentals

Weekly Thought – January 5, 2021

Fred believed in fundamentals. He “took a dim view (in his words) of those who veered away from principles and covered up with fancy philosophies.” His great friend Ed Yates stepped from earth into heaven days ago. Theirs was a friendship based on common faith, trust, and love of truth. In Fred’s last four years of life he was bed bound. One of his joys was spending time with Ed. One of Ed’s joys was trying out new recipes and presenting them to Fred. On one occasion he proudly delivered a grapefruit pie. Skeptically, Fred received it, but not before Ed could say, “Fred, look at it this way… put enough whipped cream on anything and it will taste good.” Neither of those men lived covering up with heaping whipped toppings… they were the real deal.

(Editorial note: this content is excerpted from Sunday School lessons given to the Elliott class of Highland Park Presbyterian Church in the mid 1980s. The application is timeless).

2021 will begin a new curriculum development for BWFLI, focused on Fred’s unpublished manuscript covering his thoughts on perseverance. This will be offered to our schools on a Zoom format, featuring BWFLI team members facilitating discussion with students. Please pray for the clear direction of this project.

Coming Back To Fundamentals

These are troubled times. Troubles bring us back to fundamentals. Coaches suffering losses take the teams right back to the beginning. For example, Vince Lombardi is famous for gathering his team and beginning with “Gentlemen, THIS is a football.”

Perseverance is one of the essential fundamentals. When everything is smooth we don’t analyze our good fortunes, but when things turn down, we desire to know why. Trouble opens our minds.

Thinking about the basics is like a pit stop where we go for fuel and new tires. Some of us have been on a fast, hard, troubled track. We are low on fuel and running thin on rubber. It is time to stop for the tank to be filled and the tires to be replaced. Then we can be off again, We don’t quit the checkered flag is still in view, but we can’t make it without fundamental resources.

J.C. Penney believed “self-denial is the basic requirement for accomplishment in any field of endeavor. Success comes only to those who will follow the hard road, rather than the path of ease and pleasure, and who are willing to sacrifice everything except honor to the god of achievement.” A basic is that overnight success only happens in the movies.

The poet/composer Rod McKuen says “Talent is never enough in any field. It must be coupled with perseverance and recognition.”

Calvin Coolidge said something good about perseverance: “Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence; talent will not, for nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent. Genius will not, for unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. Education will not, for the world is full of educated failures. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.”

It is one of the verities that “effort varies more than talent.” People who lose their tenacity generally lose their position in life. However, the road is open to those who persevere. As we are told in Job 14:19 “the waters wear away the stone.” As a boy, Isadore of Seville found his lessons too hard to learn. He ran away from school where he was doing poorly and sat down to rest beside a little spring that trickled over a rock. He was amazed to see how those little drops had worn away a large stone. He decided, then and there, that he had given up on his studies too soon. Diligent application overcame his dullness and he became one of the finest scholars of his day. His biographer said, “Those drops of water gave to Spain a brilliant historian.

Persistence is essential to success and we don’t know how much we have until we are called on to test our strength. Perseverance forms the bedrock of the basics needed for maturity.

This week think about: 1) How can I construct a system to test my fundamentals? 2) During this time what challenges my perseverance most greatly? 3) Who can benefit from these thoughts?

Words of Wisdom: “Trouble opens our minds.”

Wisdom from the Word: “As a result we ourselves boast about you in the churches of God for your perseverance and faith in all the persecutions and afflictions you are enduring.” (2 Thessalonians 1:4 NET Bible)

Truth in Advertising

Brenda’s Blog – December 29, 2020

I laughed as I opened the new package of face masks. Across the front were the words: One Size Fits Most. I have items from bathrobes, socks, shower caps, and sweater coats which proudly boast “One size fits all.” The key is in defining fit, isn’t it?
A sock company has emerged with the sole purpose of differentiating sizes. “How can a size 9 adequately serve a size 11?” the ad asks. You are being underserved and your feet are paying the price for this gross generalization is the unspoken message. You deserve customized foot coverings.

As I thought about it the phrase took on broader applications. What about encouragement? What about love? One size definitely doesn’t fit all.

My dearly loved daughter in law is designed to see and appreciate details. To flippantly throw out “you did a good job,” or even “you look nice today” do not satisfy. They roll off without leaving a residue of encouragement. Knowing this I decided years ago to develop my ability to specifically speak words of hope and love. Out of this desire came the MMM (Monday Morning Message). Each week I send her an email expressing very focused ways I am grateful for her. By now they have become very newsy and chatty, but they started out as a way I could share my love for her in her language.

The outcome far exceeds the initial effort. My love and appreciation for her has grown into a deep and lasting friendship. Seeing her exceptional gifts for parenting, as well as loving my son, evoke profound emotions. If I had never tried very hard to find the size that fits her, I may have missed some precious exchanges.

I had a friend who always encouraged me to triage projects. There are some which only require “cheap and cheerful,” he would say. Every job doesn’t require the same amount of effort. He was saying, “Brenda, one size doesn’t fit all,” wasn’t he?

Reading the classic book on love languages taught me to explore the hearts of others, discovering the way they receive and acknowledge love. We aren’t all the same. When we find what translates, our interactions are more fruitful. We tend to assume our love language is the same for all – but we short circuit relationships with this faulty thinking.

“One size fits most” is certainly truth in advertising for face coverings, but misses the mark when uncovering human chemistry.

Climbing Out of the Dumps

Weekly Thought – December 29, 2020

Fred managed his emotions objectively. However, he acknowledged the dark times. He created operating principles for depression. In his later years he was on dialysis three times a week, confined to a bed, and greatly restricted. He experienced the benefit years of mental and emotional discipline provided. These thoughts are particularly applicable for today. An editorial note: Fred wasn’t addressing clinical depression which requires serious professional attention.

Climbing Out of the Dumps

Very few of us totally escape depression. For some, it is the blues. For others, the blahs. Some wander aimlessly suffering boredom while excessive sleeping, eating, or drinking provide ways of dealing. In depression we may get moody and generally unhappy, or even angry enough to strike out at someone we love. These, and many other manifestations, are fruit of the depression tree. If the problem gets too large to handle personally, then we need professional help. But let’s just talk about ways we can help ourselves by establishing a routine to follow. I want to focus on one part of this routine: activity.

Denial isn’t the answer. Pity those who escape into frenzied, though fake, enthusiasm screaming about how well they feel and how happy they are. One man I knew had his brain and mouth on automatic response when asked, “How are you?” “GREAT! If I felt any better I would have to see a doctor!” That was not only a shallow, but nonsensical answer. It is sad to see someone create such a façade that hides all true feelings, just for the sake of self-image. Fake feelings usually lead to failure.

It is so much better when we respect others’ concern we can answer honestly, “Things are so-so right now, but I have felt this way before and I will get over it.” We know others are prepared to hear the details of our most intimate ups and downs, or want a long discourse on all variations of our emotional life, but most care and understand enough for us to give them a brief, honest answer.

Mild depressions come from time to time and therefore, we need a procedure for handling them. First for me is to get busy physically – doing something is better than doing nothing. Often it is better to do something physical which gives us quick results. The accomplishment helps lift the weight. The activity opens the door for hope. While it’s tough to find someone to play tennis at 3 AM, or it is discourteous to run the power saw, there are all-night restaurants where you can go and watch fascinating people. Occasionally, when I am down I find a place where observing the night owls helps me wipe away the night sweats.

The secret is to act immediately before the desire to be miserable gets concretized. If we wait too long this desire starts looking sensible. Beware of building a case for sympathy which we think is totally deserved. I don’t know why we like to be miserable sometimes, but I am convinced we do. Maybe we just want a change in our routine. Or think of the poor fellow who kept hitting himself because it felt so good when he stopped. I once knew a creative type who actually worked at making himself miserable before starting to write. He believed misery energized his creative juices.

Physical activity is just one aspect of the program, but I do believe it is key. Inactivity makes us more self- oriented and introspective – which is exactly what we don’t need. For me it is “Get Busy.”

This week think carefully about: 1) What is my routine for handling the down times? 2) How well do I manage emotional ups and downs? 3) When am I most vulnerable to depression??

Words of Wisdom: “Fake feelings lead to failure.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Therefore, get your minds ready for action by being fully sober, and set your hope completely on the grace that will be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed.” (1 Peter 1:13 NET Bible)

The Value of Good Habits

Weekly Thought – December 22, 2020

Fred spoke often of disciplines for successful living. He considered the cultivation of habits a necessary practice for maturity. He strongly encouraged those around him to initiate systems of disciplined thinking which resulted in disciplined actions. In 1961 he was the keynote speaker for a Printing Industry of America national conference. This week’s email is excerpted from that address.

The Value of Good Habits

Nearly everything you have done today has been habitual. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t have made it through the day. Good habits save time and energy. The Lord created our bodies to do things which habitually which keep us alive. If we had to decide to breathe each time our life span would probably be much shorter.

This is one of the problems with industrial reorganization. The habit structure is upset and operations slow down tremendously. It takes time to rebuild habits.

Here are some good habits to cultivate in your business:

1) Create a spirit in your organization that accepts challenges. Don’t allow people to get in the pattern of telling you why things cannot be done. When they begin, respond with “I know that. Tell me what we need to change in order to get it done.”

2) Change is okay; status quo is not. You know status quo is Latin for “the mess we are in.”

3) Accept ideas. As the leader you must engage with and incorporate new ideas before the organization will.

4) Don’t delay failures.

5) Get management on the offense. How many times do you see management fighting back instead of leading?

6) Develop the habit of good work. The President of one of my client companies told me, “Fred, I want everyone in my organization to step back from a completed task and say, ‘That’s good.’” Recently a 12 year old boy was recognized for saving his baby sister from a house fire using techniques learned in Boy Scouts. When asked about his actions he confidently responded, “I did a good job.”

7) Examine the things you are proud of. You have to watch this one carefully. The other day I was meeting with a company. When they outlined their accomplishments we examined them and found that many of them should have stopped long ago. Because they were proud of them they continued even after they had outlived their effectiveness.

8) Work smarter rather than harder. It is a mistake to applaud the efforts of someone for simply working harder. My mentor Maxey Jarman told me as a young executive “Show me the baby, don’t tell me about the labor pains.”

I know I haven’t told you anything you don’t already know. My job isn’t to tell you something new; my job is to remind you. I hope during this time together I have reminded you good habits are a key to successful living. Find one that works for you and make it real in your organization, your family, and your community.

This week think about: 1) Which of these 8 was the most helpful reminder? 2) How serious am I about establishing good habits even if that process causes some temporary disequilibrium? 3) Who can I help by sharing Fred’s ideas?

Words of Wisdom: “Good habits save time and energy.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For you know yourselves how you must imitate us, because we did not behave without discipline among you.” (2 Thessalonians 3:7 NET Bible)