Weekly Thought – July 15, 2014

Fred believed we have much to learn from our enemies.  He also believed we are known by not only the friends, but also our enemies.  He also believed in external and internal opposition.  “Sometimes we are our own worst enemy.”

Please pray for BWFLI as we establish the campus schedule for the next two years.  We look forward to seeing where the Lord takes the teams of leading men and women.

Overcoming, not Overwhelming

Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan tells the story of Christian and his trek to the Celestial City.  Along the way are the City of Delight and the Valley of Despair.  He starts on his way, determined to persevere, but the enemies actively pursue him.  Successful perseverance comes by overcoming the enemies cleverly disguised, and customized to fit each traveler and each situation.

Many of our obstacles may be external, but the most serious are generally internal.  When I was a director of the S.H Kress Company, I visited the stores and asked the manager about his problems.  If he described them as externally driven, I doubted his managerial capabilities.  If he discussed the internal problems, I knew we had a manager with potential for progress.  This manager defined situations he could do something about.  Certainly, there were external threats, but most were out of his control.

Each step of the perseverance process comes back to building good mental disciplines.  Fighting the enemies of endurance requires good habits.  Start with a reflex, and then train it into a habit.  Habits are our friends.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – July 1, 2014

Fred loved watermelon!  After he went on dialysis he reduced his fluid intake dramatically.  But summertime watermelons were his nemesis.  A dear friend, Ed Yates, figured out how to make watermelon pie which delighted Fred.  Ed once said, “Put enough whipped cream on anything and it tastes great.”  Each July 4th Fred remembered his days of chicken and watermelon eating contests.

On this holiday week, we celebrate the freedom to practice our faith.  At the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute, we gratefully acknowledge the privilege to connect with Christian colleges and universities.

Never Panic

Since childhood I have been interested in automobile racing.  I am fascinated by the driver’s ability to hit the wall and yet steer his car through the traffic into the infield.  He doesn’t quit unless he is unconscious.  He fights to minimize the loss and avoid deadly pileups.  Panic means giving in to the circumstances and giving up all control.  The racer’s rule: keep as much control as possible.

We handle the urge to panic differently.  1) Some are hysterical; explode like a Roman candle, going all to pieces with their hands in the air, mouths wide open, and eyes tightly shut. 2) Others deny loss and assume the ostrich position.  The downside of this stance: those who put their heads in the sand leave an awful lot of backside exposed.  And, people love to kick it. 3) Fatalists placidly surrender to the circumstances, like my friend who convinced himself plane crashes come in threes.  When one occurred, he waited for the next two before flying again.  He created a fatalistic formula that controlled his life.

May I give you a word or two on fatalism?  Sadly, there are those who believe you can’t get comfortable with good things because bad quickly and certainly follows.  They see life as a set of scales which balance between triumph and tragedy.  The illogical extension of this thinking is the warped view that God is poised in vindictive mode, poised for the scales to tip to the “gotcha” side.    (more…)

Weekly Thought – June 24, 2014

Fred and Mary Alice were married 67 years.  Their life together began on June 25, 1937.  They rented a room from an older woman and lived there saving money and setting their course.  They never lived beyond their means, always choosing to save half their income.  Their family has grown to 3 adult children, 2 dear in-laws, 6 grandchildren, and 13 great grandchildren.  We remember this marriage with gratitude.

Would you like to be part of a discussion group centered around Leading with Integrity?  It would be a 4-5 week commitment using either teleconference or skype formats.  If so, please contact us via the Breakfast With Fred group on Facebook, the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute page on Facebook or emailing brenda@breakfastwithfred.com

The Benefit of Failure

Every multi-millionaire I know has suffered failure.  Mike Todd, the movie mogul, was once asked if he had ever been poor.  “No, but I have been broke two or three times.”  Broke was a temporary financial condition; poor was a mental condition.  Most of America’s poverty cannot be solved by throwing money at it.  We are distressed by poverty of the spirit, not just the pocketbook.

Financial reversals often impact self-image, and the desire to accomplish.  In reflecting on my upbringing, the thought struck me – we didn’t know we were as poor as we were.  Our family focused on the art of living, not the standard of living.    (more…)

Weekly Thought – June 10, 2014

Fred once said he likes to think of his one-liners and visual descriptions as handles on ideas. Without a handle it is impossible to pass a hot pot from one place to another. He appreciated other thinkers who enabled others get their arms around helpful concepts. Peter Drucker influenced him greatly.

Thank you for supporting the legacy of Fred Smith, Sr. Your encouragement consistently brightens our hearts.

Time to Repot?

Peter Drucker’s power phrase, “repotting,” aptly describes the action of uprooting and continuing growth in another environment. It brilliantly captures the process of changing careers in the middle of life.

I am not a gardener, but Mary Alice loves to plan flowers. I noticed her moving a perfectly good plant from a perfectly good pot to a larger one. Ever curious, I asked her why she would spend the time and money to do that. “It has outgrown the old pot and needs more room for the roots to expand.” That is precisely what my friend Peter is saying.

When things are going great, we hesitate to change. But when things come to a standstill, it may be the best alternative. Your roots may need more room to grow.

Before repotting, take a personal inventory. Think about your gifts, talents, and satisfactions. Peter talks about young people who make the mistake of being driven by their craving for a luxury car, or a status lifestyle. They graduate, choosing whichever direction gives them the most money, the fastest. Taking this direction strictly for material gain will ultimately end in dissatisfaction. The lifestyle grabs and owns them. They hang on for dear life, heading down the wrong road at breakneck speed.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – June 3, 2014

Fred responded to questions about goal setting with the comment: “Direction is more critical than goals.  They are the mileposts, but not the destination.”  He often asked people, “Are you satisfied with the direction you are going?”

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute will be hosting conversations with millennials to uncover what they want and need from us.  Over these last 10 campus visits in six years we have heard repeatedly, “We need to be with you all.”  If you want to engage in these conversations, please let us know.  Leave us a message on our Facebook page, email us at brenda@breakfastwithfred.com, or tweet.

Direction Matters

Perseverance in the wrong direction is as foolish as dedicated incompetence.  It reminds me of the two men traveling down the road.  One said, “Aren’t we going in the wrong direction?” “Yes, but we are making such good time, I hate to turn around,” was the response.

Troubled paths require the right direction.  Life issues like a lot job, broken relationship, child with problems, a disease that forever changes the way we face the future all prove we need a strong mind, and a clear direction.  They are essentials, not luxuries.  But we need to accept direction may be one step at a time, not a bold stride.  Forward movement in the proper direction is the goal.

When circumstances necessitate reevaluation, it is key to re-set goals in light of “current reality.”  This is one of the crucial principles of my life.  I always told our children to keep current on their facts.  A map company uses the phrase, “Don’t drive today with yesterday’s map.”  Current thinking protects us from “might have been” living.  Fantasy and regret are stumbling block for perseverance.  We endure and hold strong in the “what is.”      (more…)

Weekly Thought – April 29, 2014

Fred never tired of learning.  He stayed open to seeing life.  Even in his older age, he constantly asked questions, pursued wisdom, and explored the corners of his universe.

These Weekly Thoughts are part of our legacy which is the BWF Project, Inc.  We began as a way to “relevantly communicate the lifework of Fred Smith, Sr.”  The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is an extension of that mission by focusing on those coming behind.  We thank you for your consistent support.

Wonderment

Early one morning I listened to Carlos Fuentes, the South American novelist.  He described the heart of a novel as “amazement.” I stay open to this concept all the time – I call it wonderment.  It means looking openly at those things which cause within me a sense of awe and worship.  Someone has said that the true mark of genius is not creating awe in others, but in being awed.

Most of us have a tendency to be cynical, closed-minded, disinterested, even bored.  Concentrating on our knowledge rather than our ignorance, we lose our sense of awe.  I like to think of “making friends with my ignorance.”  What I do not know is my future playground.  I don’t need to compare what I know to others; I need to compare what little I do know to the vast amount I do not.  The more we learn, the more we realize we have to learn.

The more you look for wonder, the more you see.  It’s a discipline.  Too many people get jaded and say, “so what?”  That is not the Biblical spirit.  The Apostle Paul didn’t say, “so what?” – he said, “so THAT.”  Paul had a vision and a sense of wonder in what God was doing.   (more…)

Weekly Thought – February 11, 2014

Fred stressed redemption.  He talked of redeeming the time, experiences, and relationships.  He wrote in You and Your Network of the importance of enemies. This month the emails feature his thinking on the value of including them in the evaluation of a personal network.

Each week we receive emails confirming the encouragement of Fred’s words.  Thank you for your support.  And, we certainly appreciate your financial gifts which allow us to continue our work.

The Power to Take Hurt

Through enemies we learn to take hurt rather than give it, thereby redeeming the situation.  A young man in the congregation of Peninsula Bible Church (Palo Alto, CA) said, “If I meet a dude on the street and he starts calling me names, I am not going to try to understand him.  I am going to make him stop; I am going to grab him and push him into the gutter.”  Then he paused, “That is what I used to do, but I don’t do that anymore.”  He found the power through Christ to absorb injustice and discovered the truth that a soft answer turns away wrath.  This keeps the hostile situation from proliferating but also creates a question in the enemy’s mind: “What gives him the power to do that?”  This, then, becomes the witness to the spiritual power for it is not natural to take hurt when you are capable of returning it.

The Catholic monk, Thomas A Kempis put it this way: “It is good that we at times endure opposition and that we are evilly and untruly judged when our actions and intentions are good.  Often such experiences promote humility and protect us from vainglory.  For then we seek God’s witness in our heart.”     (more…)

Weekly Thought – November 12, 2013

Fred and Mary Alice showed their three children the country, teaching them the value of travel.  However, Fred was influenced by his love of efficiency and looked at family road trip from the “How fast can I get from A to B?” perspective.  They whizzed past national monuments, teepee tourist courts, and must see stops.  Later he realized the children chose to enjoy the journey, not play beat the clock with their own family trips.

Planning is underway for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute at Palm Beach Atlantic University in West Palm Beach, FL. on February 20, 21, 2014.  Please join in prayer with us.  Thank you for your continuing encouragement.

Choose A Pleasant Road

Too often, after selecting our destination, and making our plans, we fail to look at all the possible ways of getting there.  Recently, on the West Coast, I decided to turn off the interstate and follow an exciting scenic route.  Generally we miss the byways and endure the highways to “save time.”

Is time always that important?

Sometimes we become so goal-oriented we forget to consider the ways of getting there.  The road should be interesting.  We spend much more time on the trip than at the destination.  Why shouldn’t it bring satisfaction?  Remember, this isn’t always the fastest route.  Learn the joy of the journey and amplify the value and benefit of the goal.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – November 5, 2013

Fred sat on a tombstone when he was in his twenties thinking about the direction he wanted for his life.  To codify his thinking he wrote out an epitaph: “He stretched others.”  He said, “I enjoyed seeing people productive and growing.”  His tombstone in Dallas, Texas bears those three words for indeed, he did!

“Thank you for last week’s email.  I really needed to hear that and I am sure many others did, too.”  The Weekly Thoughts are sent as an encouragement and as a way to allow Fred’s work to keep on stretching others. As you know we are currently having a critical fundraising drive and your help in large and small contributions is needed.

Direction not Goals

Choosing a life direction is more important than just focusing on goals.  Enticing short term goals can take one off course and in a faulty direction.  Mature success and satisfaction come in the direction we move, not in the goals we attain.

I oppose setting an ultimate goal for one’s life, in the sense of a specific, definable, measurable, figure-oriented place in life — the place for arrival.  This puts too much importance on one decision.  This closes off the serendipity of life which leads to magnificent adventures.

I have known too many executives who set a title as their ultimate goal only to realize that the joy was in the challenge of achievement, not the actual job attained.  The old song says it well, “Is this all there is?”  I laugh at the picture of the man spent a lifetime climbing a ladder only to realize at the top it was leaning against the wrong wall.     (more…)

Weekly Thought – October 8, 2013

Fred believed in his body’s ability to heal itself, sometimes to the “I can only speak personally”, but I have found when I have the right attitude my body has great recuperative power.  When our children complain of a humdrum life I tell them;  “There’s nothing wrong with you that a little excitement won’t cure!”   Fred was severely immobilized in his last four or five years.  He was quoted in a national magazine:  “I am not disabled; I am delightfully dependent.” He had a joyful attitude.

Please continue to pray for the BWFLI team that is heading to East Texas Baptist University on October 22nd.  Thank you for ongoing encouragement and support.

Joyful Health

Joy can live in a sick or disabled body…the spirit can overcome the physical limitations. Joy can also reside in a body that is well-respected, protected from abuse.

Very few people miss a vacation due to illness.  Most of the school children who are sick to their stomachs are often “sick of school,” or afraid to face a pressured situation.  I have no scientific survey to prove this, but I would daresay a class led by an exciting and loving teacher experiences less absenteeism.      (more…)