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  • Personal Growth (Page 15)

Confrontation is a Responsibility

Weekly Thought – October 8, 2019

Fred believed in maturity. Despite his reputation, Fred did not relish confrontation, but he knew it was part of growth. In typical Fred fashion, he did a great deal of thinking on the subject. This excerpt from musings and notes highlights his process.

Please pray as BWFLI continues deepening relationships with students, faculty, and administrators. Watching them navigate the challenges with faith excites us. Recent articles trumpeting the lack of faith, decline in belief, and evaporation of hope emphasize the importance of the relationship between Christian laymen and the schools.

Confrontation is a Responsibility

Control of confrontation is important. Too often it is seen as a loaded gun open on the desk. That is a faulty way of thinking – and using – it.

It is a very purposeful tool, and I like to think of two basic types:

1) In a work environment between employer and employee

2) In a personal environment between friends or family

In the first one, you deal primarily with the facts of the case. It usually includes “this is the failure – here is why it is unacceptable.” Creating a strategy to rectify the situation is part of the outcome. It is a formal process.

The second involves feelings, motivations, and deep sources that require careful handling.

Confrontation requires a correct environment. It is very important the other person hears what you are saying. And not only what you’re saying, but why you are saying it. For that you have to go below the surface by asking questions.

In the personal confrontation I have found taking a “third party persona” works well. For example, I tell the story of somebody else who had a similar problem. I may not even mention the offense in the story. As it unfolds it is not unusual for the person to say, “You know, that is pretty close to my situation.” The opening up of the problematic situation permits the conversation to move ahead. I know the parallel in the stories but I do not create a scenario that manipulates the situation. And I am careful to never confront anybody with anything that they can’t change.

In confrontation it is not necessary to take the position that it is the immovable hitting the unstoppable. I like to think sometimes it is like running along and jumping on like you would a San Francisco trolley car. But you have to have the right environment for this to happen.

1) You have to have the right motive. Itching for a fight is not the way. It is always to enable the other person to grow, never to humiliate them. Accomplishment is the goal.

2) You have to have the right modus operandi (MO). I am careful about confronting anyone in business or the family before others. Correction is private. These conversations need to be respectful, even in the most difficult circumstances.

3) You have to have the right follow-up. Many times the right follow-up is no follow-up. I don’t want the person to give me blame or credit for the steps taken afterward.

This week think about: 1) How careful am I about confrontation? 2) Who models this skill well? 3) What situation am I facing right now?

Words of Wisdom: “In confrontation it is not necessary to take the position that it is the immovable hitting the unstoppable.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who refuses correction despises himself, but whoever hears reproof acquires understanding.” (Proverbs 15:32 NET Bible)

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A Leash for Anger

Weekly Thought – October 1, 2019

Fred admitted an intentional effort to handle anger. He spoke of bridling bad temper and diverting the energy into a positive, productive direction. He helped many honestly confront their struggles.

Fred’s son and namesake has a new book titled Where The Light Divides. This “collection of essays on the life of faith” allows the reader to glimpse life through his eyes. It is now available on Amazon.com

Thank you for praying as the work continues. Please lift up our Christian colleges and universities. They stand strong in the midst of cultural disturbances and turmoil.

A Leash for Anger

I say a leash for I don’t believe it is possible to live without anger. Anger is a cat which far exceeds its nine lives. It can only be controlled. Just the presence of human beings assumes the reality of anger.

Anger can be dangerous when we begin thinking “two wrongs make a right.” Slipping into the thought that we can get even is foolishness. It is easy to recognize a “mad” in ourselves and others when ideas of retribution arise. Our litany of bad wishes even draws God into the mix by wishing lightning would strike!

I believe there are two emotions we label anger: 1) mad and 2) righteous indignation. The difference is crucial. The spirit which generates the emotion differs. Mad is self-centered and comes from the loss of personal power and the inability to force our will. Righteous indignation is being angry with what makes God angry. The desired outcome of one is retaliation; the other is willingness to stand even to martyrdom for the glory and honor of God.

“Mad” results from personal demeaning. For example, when someone insults, insults, assumes, or spites us. We want to fire back to defend and protect ourselves. It is all about our own ego. We seek to avenge the disdain. As Christians we know this is sin. “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” But it is often hard to wait for Him. And what if He forgives and expects that from us? What if I deserved what I am getting? The more I dwell on it, the deeper I fall into the desire for revenge and “getting them back.”

Scripture tells us to “not let the sun go down on our anger.” This makes great sense. My friends at Mayo Clinic tell me anger churns up acid. Many stomach ailments occur with persistent anger. God gave us a remedy. We are to purge it before we sleep and not let it settle into the value structure of our subconscious. This way we start each new day with our souls fresh. The rancor of yesterday has not festered overnight.

I must always be the one to take the offensive in settling the matter. I must remember Christ died for the other person, as He did for me. I must maintain the spirit of forgiveness. A leash on anger is a worthy goal and an excellent exercise in spiritual maturity.

This week think about: 1) How do I handle my anger? 2) What sets me off? 3) When do I find myself getting angry?

Words of Wisdom: “We are to purge it before we sleep and not let it settle into the value structure of our subconscious.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26 NET Bible)

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Learning from Others

Weekly Thought – September 24, 2019

Fred thought… and thought… and thought. And as he thought he scribbled down notes (thousands are still extant in daughter Brenda’s garage files.) He fed on the writings of those who deeply considered life.

Thank you for the ongoing support of BWF and BWFLI. Each week messages arrive applying Fred’s wisdom. How strengthening it is to hear from you all.

Learning from Others

I enjoy contemplation. It is a solo experience between God and me. Often it occurs in the wee hours of the morning when I come face to face with myself. Some of these sessions go well – others leave me in agreement with God I have been shortcutting.

I also enjoy meditation. The distinction for me is that I see this as a guided study using the help of others who have walked closely and faithfully with God. I look at their writings to find principles which enhance my appreciation of the spiritual experience.

Let me share just a few examples of those who help me drive my spiritual roots down deeper where the drought cannot wither, unlike grass with shallow roots which die in the heat. I can honestly tell you they help me withstand the pressure of external circumstances.

1) Augustine – “Love God and do what you will.” The freedom of obedience. My friend Steve Brown keeps the message of liberty in Christ before me.

2) Francis of Assisi- “It is not so important that I be loved as that I love.” Jesus said we would be known by our love not of ourselves, but of one another.

3) Chambers – “Sit loose to things.” At this age I can look back on sudden losses which would bring devastation without this principle as foundational. Things should never define our lives. Chambers also imprinted another: “God isn’t interested in my success, He is interested in my maturity.”

4) Kelley – “Develop a quiet center in your life.” There must be a place where storms do not hit. We must have a gyroscopic center from which the other instruments get their orientation.

5) Tozer – “My flame may be small, but it is real.” Spiritual growth starts with reality.

6) Brother Lawrence – “Dishwashing is just as sacred as prayer.” He emphasized to me the “practice of the presence of God.”

The joy of contemplation is a necessary part of internal strength. The mutuality of meditation allows me to walk with the old saints. When I add these two elements to prayer, scripture, and fellowship I build a healthy system for a life of devotion.

This week think about: 1) How do I define a devotional life?2) Who have been my meditational teachers? 3) Which of these principles strikes home?

Words of Wisdom: “There must be a place where storms do not hit.”

Wisdom from the Word: “We proclaim him by instructing and teaching all people with all wisdom so that we may present every person mature in Christ.” (Colossians 1:28 NET Bible)

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Stress for Singles

Weekly Thought – July 9, 2019

Fred and Mary Alice Smith welcomed their son and namesake on July 2nd in an unrevealed year. One of the elder Fred’s life changes was having to add the Sr. to his name because the younger Fred Smith’s reputation was so wide spread. Happy Birthday!

Fred always spoke of his work as “bread on the water.” He thoroughly enjoyed seeing the impact as it flowed back. This year BWFLI has experienced a great bounty of returning bread. The contact with students, faculty, and administration continues to reflect the value of investing into the lives of the next generation. We are grateful to speak life to those who continue to grow in Christ and leadership.

Stress for Singles

The pressures of time, peers, and money impact all of us, but particularly singles. The question always arises: How can I live on the fast track, but not the frantic track?

Mary Alice and I haven’t been single in a long time, since anniversary 66 is coming up. But I get frequent requests to speak to singles groups. When we talk about relationship we usually think of people, but a broader perspective enables us to consider some common pressures. In my time with singles here are three I have observed. The relationship to:

1) Time: Many singles I know fear exclusion. They accept invitations often just to “stay in the loop.” The avoidance of aloneness pushes them to a life filled with activity, but not necessarily productivity. As a young man I made a decision to identify my gifts and focus my time on those elements. If people tried to draw me away from them as primary with their own agendas, I said no. (Of course, as an introvert, I required a great deal of reflection, so staying busy had little appeal.) When I get to know someone I like to tell me how they spent the last week. When I get a sense of their rhythm, time choices, and activities I know much about their priorities. Being single seems to exaggerate the need to master time management. Knowing how best to invest time, not just spend it is a critical skill to develop.

2) Peers: When our firstborn granddaughter was 18 Mary Alice and I took her on a trip. She packed and packed. Before I snapped into executive mode and criticized her I remembered what Jay Kesler (then President of Youth for Christ and then Taylor University) told me. “Fred, you have got to know teenage girls have a great desire to fit in. They are never quite sure what the rest of the group is wearing, so they change over and over.” When I thought about this I realized she was actually being very strategic: she was bringing everything she owned just to give herself options. I see adult peer pressure in the singles I know, as well. They give others the power to set their direction, their goals, and definition of accomplishment. They may have outgrown over packing, but they still feel the conflict of looking to others to judge how they are doing. They let others set the standards and write the scripts.

3) Money: When I speak at singles weekend retreats I have a great deal of time to talk one on one. Repeatedly I hear their stories of financial insecurity and particularly those of failed debt management. Madison Avenue purposefully and powerfully targets this demographic. They invest big numbers to attract, persuade, and sell singles from 25-45. The importance of “looking the part” drives them to specific exercise, workout, leisure activity, date, and work clothing. The pressure to “fake it ‘til you make it” puts tremendous stress on budgets. It is hard to have a real plan for finances when impulse and the expectations of others drive the outflow. The book of Proverbs reminds us that being in debt puts the person in bondage to the creditor. I hear the rattle of chains way too often.
Money should be a tool, and not an idol. It should be a way to provide options, but it is also a stewardship.

This week think about: 1) How effective is my use of time? 2) Who influences my sense of achievement? 3) When am I tempted to make impulsive expenditures?

Words of Wisdom: “It is important to find a way to run on the fast track while avoiding the frantic track.”

Wisdom from the Words: “So we must not grow weary in doing good, for in due time we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Galatians 6:9 NET Bible)

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Probing Questions

Weekly Thought – June 4, 2019

Fred enjoyed people who were interested in him, but not curious about him. His questions are a way of expressing that without being invasive. Many of the questions he asks in the mentoring section of the leadership library are helpful for personal evaluation. Here are several with Fred’s casual responses which give you insight into his thinking. He sat down as we threw the questions to him and responded from his deep well of experience and thinking.

June is a month for our schools to begin summer schedules. Join with us on the prayer network as we lift them up before the Lord.

Probing Questions

1) Question: What irritates me? Fred: Small talk and wasted time are two major irritants. And to be frank, I probably have an ego irritation when I feel I have been under-appreciated. This is wrong, but it is true. There is always the irritation of incompatible associates. In my experience, love solves the rub of these irritants.

2) Q: What situations make me feel insecure? Fred: Fortunately (and thankfully) my belief in the gifts I have been given enhances my confidence. When I was young I had no social or educational advantages, but I knew God had given me the ability to think, to communicate, and to network (even before I had any idea what that meant). An evangelist believed in me and said, “Fred, take the gift God has given you, and use it, and you will stand before great men.” That was his paraphrase of Proverbs 18:16. As long as I stay within my gifts I have confidence. I am sure if I wandered randomly outside those areas, I would experience insecurity. Another key: when I feel small with God, I feel confident. When I feel large without Him, I am insecure.

3) Q: What do I do to be liked? Fred: I had much rather be respected than merely liked. When I am respected I can be a leader while just being liked makes me pleasant to be around, but doesn’t really qualify me for leadership. I am eager for certain people in my life (special friends, family) to like me, but I am fortunate to have little or no need to be liked by a great number. I defined myself to myself and that has supported me through periods of favor and disfavor. I found liking myself in key areas of my life and respecting the way I am growing is important – much more than the opinions of those who may not really know me. Self-respect is critical to my health. One additional thing: When I die I want my family (especially my children) to love me, not need me. I want the relationship to be one of mutual respect, not their dependence on me.

This week think about: 1) How would I answer any of these questions if asked? 2) Which question triggers some self-evaluation? 3) How am developing my ability to ask questions?

Words of Wisdom: “When I feel small with God, I feel confident. When I feel large without Him, I am insecure.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible)

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Appreciating Tension

Weekly Thought – May 21, 2019

Fred refused to accept ideas at face value, processing everything. Challenging the status quo sharpened his mind. One of the examples is his view of stress. When the modern culture recommended the total reduction of stress, he worked through it identifying positive and negative stress. His thoughts helped others understand how best to handle pressure.

Thank you for supporting the ongoing work of BWF Project. The weekly thoughts reach over 5000 weekly; the campus events touched nearly 20,000; and the two websites give access to a robust source of Fred’s writings. As the updating process begins, we would appreciate your financial help – and prayer, as always.

Appreciating Tension

Successful leaders learn to appreciate tension. I am convinced positive stress is a wonderful thing. Where else would we get the energy to carry out our responsibilities? Even creation shows us the value. Botanists talks about turgor which is the pressure which keeps flower stems upright. Droopy blooms have suffered the loss of this healthy pressure. Without tension there is inadequate ambition to achieve success. Couch potatoes rarely lead.

Stress must be managed, but that is the point: manage, don’t eliminate. Learning to appreciate it, not fear it is the key to productive use of pressure. As a consultant I once asked a young employee as I studied the client’s company. “How long have you been working for this company?” He answered with “Ever since the boss threatened to fire me!” He definitely lacked the fire-in-the-belly necessary for leadership. He was wilted.

I sometimes hear wives complain about how tired their husbands are at night. I know I am biased, but my experience with leaders (male and female) is that living with tension is part of the price paid for success. I am thankful for Mary Alice who has always supported me. My reply to the desire for a non-tension environment is quite simple: “you can’t have the earnings of a race horse with the placidity of a mule.”

A psychiatrist friend of mine (social, not professional, mind you) was sent to Guadalcanal to interview a variety of soldiers. Some had performed heroic deeds; others had shrunk from battle, even deserting. His research was to discern the reason for the behavior. He told me both groups actually were motivated by the same thing: fear. However, those seen as heroes ran forward and the non-heroes ran backward. The same thing is true in business or ministry leadership. We either face our problems as challenges, or we draw into the shell of inertia.

Our assignment is to understand and use positive tension as a tool for productivity. Stress by itself is not naturally bad. We need to capture the value in order to make forward progress. Eliminate all stress? No. Manage and appreciate tension. Definitely.

This week think about: 1) Am I correctly categorizing the stressors in my life? 2) Where am I running backwards? 3) How can I demonstrate capable management of stress?

Words of Wisdom: “You can’t have the earnings of a race horse with the placidity of a mule.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For God did not give us a Spirit of fear but of power and love and self-control.” (2 Timothy 1:7 NET Bible)

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Successful Aging

Weekly Thought – May 14, 2019

Fred finished well just two weeks before his 92nd birthday. He thought much about aging and created a strategy for navigating the process. He wrote an article for Leadership Journal with the title “Older, but Never Old.” He lived out those words, for sure.

Successful Aging

My serious interest in aging began with Erik Erikson’s remark: “The challenge of old age is the management of deterioration. Applying the art of management gives one control over the process.” In other words, move the deterioration toward the perimeter of life and focus on the areas of strength and vitality. Avoid the used-to-be syndrome. Too many of my friends refuse to analyze their current strengths, but continue living with the past glories. As I became bedbound I knew my traveling was eliminated. But I still had my mental faculties and my voice, so my daughter arranged for weekly events for people who sat around my bed and listened to me discuss what I had been thinking about during my three dialysis sessions each week. It became affectionately known as “Fred in the Bed.” It was a management technique.

Part of the monitoring of successful aging is asking questions. For me, I break the questions into two categories: positive and negative. Of course, these are designed for my own personality, temperament, character, and temptations. For illustration, I list some of the questions I ask myself:

Love: Where do I fall on the loving scale? How do I avoid benevolent dictatorship?

Patience: How patient am I? Do I accept the difference between excellence and perfection?

Tolerance: Am I Biblically tolerant? Do I know the difference between love and apathy?

Unselfishness: How unselfish am I? How do I implement “in honor preferring one another?”

Commitment: What is my level of commitment to work, family, faith? Am I capable of having passion without crossing over into obsession?

Flexibility: Can I develop a technique without sacrificing stability and principle?

Control: How often do I camouflage this tendency? Do I exhibit dictatorial or victim behavior?

Cynicism: Do I discount the current reality by wanting things to stay the same to make me comfortable?

Greed: Is my desire an appetite or a fire? Do I remember a fire is never satisfied?

Selfishness: How often do I see others as serving me rather than an opportunity to serve?

Concretized: How realistic am I about change?

When I do my self-audit I ask another person for counsel and accountability. This person must be chosen carefully. I am not looking for a critic; I am looking for a coach.

This week carefully consider: 1) What is my strategy for aging? 2) Who models successful aging? 3) What questions should be I be asking myself?

Words of Wisdom: “The end of the process is successful aging – staying young while getting older.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Then Abraham breathed his last and died at a good old age, an old man who had lived a full life. “ (Genesis 25:8a NET Bible)

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Firestarter Questions

Weekly Thought – May 7, 2019

Fred’s mentoring questions are a compilation of conversations with the AM/PM group. It met in the morning and was initiated by Peter McNally, thus AM/PM. As they met month by month he would throw a question on the table. On www.breakfastwithfred.com there are over 300 of them for consideration. They serve as a personal exercise, as well as for a group. Fred was asked to give an impromptu answer to his own questions. Here is the unedited text.

BWF Project is excited about the new edition of You and Your Network. It will be available by fall, 2019. The research for What’s Next will continue year long. We invite you to participate in the interview process. Contact us at Brenda@bwfli.com

Firestarter Questions

1) Question; What changes would I make if I could live my life over? Fred: I doubt I would make any changes if the circumstances and options were the same. If I were given hindsight, then certainly I would have taken advantage of many more opportunities. As the wag said, “If I had my life to live over I would live over a delicatessen.” I don’t believe it is profitable to worry about such unchangeable things as our past.

2) Q: What psychological barriers have I permitted in my life? Fred: Psychological barriers can either be temporary or long-lasting. We outgrow the temporary ones. For example, one can be controlled by what others think of us. As we mature, we can overcome this one and have a healthy view of ourselves. The long-term ones are mostly character flaws. We must first recognize them and then develop a plan and time frame to reduce their influence on us. The long-term ones will take serious work, but can be minimized.

3) Q: How much does advertising influence me? Fred: I wish it influenced me less than I am afraid it does. However, I am allergic to nonsensical advertising. In fact, I consider the mute button on the TV remote as one of the greatest inventions of the modern age. Therefore, I mute most commercials. I read the advertisers believe we must see an advertisement nine times in order to become conscious of it. I hope that is true, because I seldom watch an ad more than one time. I am immunizing myself. I saw a survey of the American population saying they are far more influenced by Madison Avenue than by the church. George Gallup wrote a book titled, The Saints Among Us. He says only 10% of those claiming to be born again are really influenced by their faith.

4) Q: Do I have a healthy sense of humor? Fred: As long as I can genuinely laugh at myself rather than laughing at others I will have at least a moderate sense of humor. Much of today’s humor is sick. It does not promote healthy mental attitudes. I always look for any humor in any situation, often finding it. Most of my life I have studied humor because I think it is a vital element. I would like to be able to laugh at only those things which are genuinely funny. Humor should be a bridge between people rather than an obstruction. I have a very intelligent friend who every Sunday morning called one of his friends to read the comics together. We are admonished in scripture to be careful about taking ourselves too seriously. I believe in humor as Gods lubricant in life and certainly as a happy reality.

This week think about: 1) What makes me laugh? 2) What affect does stress have on my sense of humor? 3) How can I discipline my humor to keep it clean and appropriate?

Words of Wisdom: “I don’t believe it is profitable to worry about such unchangeable things as our past.”

Wisdom from the Word: “After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.” (Luke 2:46 NET Bible)

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Experience to Experiment

Weekly Thought – April 30, 2019

Fred tweeted long before twitter was a concept. He called them “one-liners.” His friends, his associates, even his family carried these “Fred Saids” in their minds as bywords. In diverse situations one of his wise bites always popped up. This week’s thought is an example.

BWF Project is looking for men and women who want to share their story of dealing with “What’s Next” Fred’s writings on mentoring, networking, and persevering form a foundation for decision making. If you want to participate in this research, please contact us: Brenda@bwfli.com

Experience to Experiment

When in a difficult situation, it is helpful to establish an experimental mindset. You can negotiate and navigate the experience without falling into an emotional pit. For example, I once took a stop watch to the dentist’s office – not to see how much he was charging me per minute, but to see how much time I actually spent in pain. Without the stop watch to verify and validate, I would have said I hurt 50% of the time. But the objective data said it was a short time. I ran the watch only when I was in serious pain – four seconds! Yes, four seconds of tough stuff.

Another dental experience took awhile to fully turn into an experiment. I read about one of the tortures during World War II was conducting root canals without anesthetic. I decided to see if I would have endured. By the way, my dentist thought I was crazy and made me sign a disclaimer that it was in no way his suggestion! I made it through, but my family told me it took about 6 months for me to appear normal again!

We used this experimental syndrome to our advantage in working with a direct sales force whose big problem was door slammers. (This was in the days when door knocking was an accepted sales technique). We gave the sales force a chart of different door slammer personalities. For example, they had quick, loud, apologetic, indifferent, offensive, polite, indignant, etc. When someone slammed the door in their faces they simply checked the appropriate type box. By turning their experience into an experiment they turned personal rejection into an objective exercise.

I offered this system to a waitress at a local restaurant I frequented. The breakfast diner atmosphere drew a variety of patrons. I noticed several of the customers were gruff and even rude. I told her to make a card with columns and categories such as friendly, interested, polite, grumpy, and downright rude. One morning I sat at the counter listening as a customer berated her. When she came to refill my coffee I asked about it. “Oh, him? I was glad to see him because I was missing a downright rude and he filled my card!” She turned her experience into an experiment.

This week think about: 1) What am I facing that needs a shift from experience to experiment? 2) How does moving from subjective to objective make me more effective? 3) Who needs to hear about this system?

Words of Wisdom: “By turning experience into an experiment personal rejection can be turned into an objective exercise.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Indeed, if you call out for discernment – raise your voice for understanding.” (Proverbs 2:3 NET Bible)

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The Four M’s of Goal Setting

Weekly Thought – April 9, 2019

Fred had great interest in simplifying ideas so they could be easily handled and implemented. He highly respected Einstein who said:” Everything should be as simple as possible, but not simpler.” He had a great ability to take large quantities of information and distill it down to manageable concepts. He learned much from other leaders and liked taking thoughts, and the expanding them with his own thoughts.

The Four M’s of Goal Setting

I found the difference between seeing something as a challenge or a threat is very simple – it is planning. You know I have always stressed the importance of direction over a singular emphasis on goals, but setting targets is very important. At the beginning of every year I sit down and carefully look at certain areas of my life, setting marks for the next 12 months. My friend Bob (Robert) Schuller, founder of the Crystal Cathedral, talked on goals and used these four M words. They triggered my thinking. So, I want to share four qualities of worthy goals using Bob’s M words and my comments.

1) Meaningful – how much of my life am I willing to swap for this goal? Is it a worthy goal? Is it a long term goal which has long range benefits?

2) Marvelous – how exciting or energizing is this goal? Getting started is always my problem. I fight procrastination. In fact, I once thought it would be a great idea to start a national association for procrastinators. I would certainly be glad to start it, but I just can’t seem to get around to it. On my desk I keep one word: START. I find if I will just start, I will finish. It is the starting that is difficult. A philosopher said, “Start, and your brain will warm up.”

3) Measurable – how specific is it? We had a sales manager who used to ask the salesmen at the beginning of the year how much they wanted to make that year. If any of them said with a laugh, “More!” he would say very seriously, “That not a goal – that’s a wish.” Whenever someone makes the comment in Peter Drucker’s hearing “That is a good man,” he responds, “Good for what?”

4) Manageable – Can this goal be controlled as life unfolds and flexible enough to fit the circumstances? Effective goals are realistic and fit within my talents and opportunities. Too many live in a fantasy world thinking they can do anything they dream about. I heartily disagree. There are some things I will never do, no matter how hard I try. For example, I will never be a jockey. Goals have to operate within the realm of possibility.

Making the most of your time is critical to the efficient and effective use of goal setting. And, as I said earlier. I prefer to stress the importance of setting and assessing the direction I am taking. It is easy to move a degree or two off track and end up thousands of miles away from the targets, goals, and accomplishments.

This week think about: 1) How am I doing with my desired direction? 2) Which of the M words sparks my thinking? 3) What can I do to ensure the best use of my time?

Words of Wisdom: “I found the difference between seeing something as a challenge or a threat is very simple – it is planning.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May he grant your heart’s desire; may he bring all your plans to pass!” (Psalm 20:4 NET Bible)

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