The Power to Take Hurt

Weekly Thought – February 11, 2014

Fred stressed redemption. He talked of redeeming the time, experiences, and relationships. He wrote in You and Your Network of the importance of enemies. This month the emails feature his thinking on the value of including them in the evaluation of a personal network.

Each week we receive emails confirming the encouragement of Fred’s words. Thank you for your support. And, we certainly appreciate your financial gifts which allow us to continue our work.

The Power to Take Hurt

Through enemies we learn to take hurt rather than give it, thereby redeeming the situation. A young man in the congregation of Peninsula Bible Church (Palo Alto, CA) said, “If I meet a dude on the street and he starts calling me names, I am not going to try to understand him. I am going to make him stop; I am going to grab him and push him into the gutter.” Then he paused, “That is what I used to do, but I don’t do that anymore.” He found the power through Christ to absorb injustice and discovered the truth that a soft answer turns away wrath. This keeps the hostile situation from proliferating but also creates a question in the enemy’s mind: “What gives him the power to do that?” This, then, becomes the witness to the spiritual power for it is not natural to take hurt when you are capable of returning it.

The Catholic monk, Thomas A Kempis put it this way: “It is good that we at times endure opposition and that we are evilly and untruly judged when our actions and intentions are good. Often such experiences promote humility and protect us from vainglory. For then we seek God’s witness in our heart.” (more…)

The Blessing of Enemies

Weekly Thought – February 4, 2014

Fred was a pragmatist and a realist. He never allowed himself to discount the value of a difficulty. His famous “Never lose the good of a bad situation” emphasizes his analytical nature. Nothing was wasted. When most chose to wall off the influence of enemies, Fred studied their impact…to the good.

The final preparations for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute events at Palm Beach Atlantic University are moving at top speed. Please check out www.bwfli.com to get a taste of PBA. Continue praying for team members Al Angell, John Begley, Hartzel Black, Ron Cunningham, Krish Dhanam, Marianne Dodge, Jim Hailey, Garry Kinder,Tanya Magnus, Mark Modesti, Jack Murphy, Joe Petersen, JJ Prendamano, Cliff and Marie Shiepe, Keith and Carolyn Stonehocker, Kat Van Dusen, Pat Walters, Dan Williams, and Brenda A. Smith.

The Blessing of Enemies

It is difficult to say, “Thank you for enemies,” but if we are thankful in everything, then we must. There is value in opposition. There is nothing that makes us take stock or do self-evaluation than the awareness someone thoroughly dislikes us. Knowing someone believes the world would be better off without us challenges our faith and our character.

Our command to love our enemies is uncommon. The historian Michael N. Hart says that Christianity enjoys one of its finest distinctives in loving our enemies. In most world religions, revenge is not just supported, but commanded. (more…)

Redemption Lived Out

Weekly Thought – January 28, 2014

Fred never preached. His Christian witness was one of bringing scriptural principles to bear in every situation. The evidence of Biblical truth was strong in his conversations, but he never sought to artificially impose “chapter and verse” on anyone. Buttons showing a duck crossed out by a black stripe were handed out to all the men at a retreat in California after one attendee heard Fred’s comment on living the Christian life — “Don’t duck!”

We are encouraging each Weekly Thought recipient to tell 10 others about this wisdom and leadership email. We need your help in our expanding, deepening, and preserving efforts. Will you help us?

Redemption Lived Out

Redemptive living requires discipline:

1) Prayer – Personally, I don’t pray for miracles. I pray for a willingness to join God in His process of working out matters. Prayer isn’t to change God, nor inform Him, nor to convince Him to make me an exception to His process — it isn’t a negotiation process. It is to make me conscious that He is, that He is present, that He Cares, and that His Spirit is available to dedicate us to the rightness of what we are doing.

2) Biblical principles – We bring redemption when we bring the principles of the Bible to whatever situation we are involved in, whether it is business, church, family, or social life. Too often the Bible is used for its stories and its promises, while avoiding and neglecting the principles and commands. We need to be clear in the fundamental principle, not just the story. For example, if we decide the controlling principle as seen in Daniel is “obey God and you won’t get hurt” the story of Stephen invalidates that. The principle is: “Decide to do the right thing and let the consequences follow, whatever they are.” The principle is obedience, not escape. (more…)

Redemptive By Choice

Weekly Thought – January 21, 2014

Fred respected life. He also felt a great responsibility to make his life count. Raised in the home of a Southern Baptist pastor, he learned early on the theological definition of redemption. He expanded it to cover an attitude which he highly regarded. He often quoted the verse which admonished us to “redeem the time.”

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute at Palm Beach Atlantic University is soon approaching. Would you please pray for the team members, the steering committee, the faculty, students, and administration at PBA, and the favor of God? Thank you for standing with us.

Redemptive By Choice

I have a responsibility to be redemptive when and where I have the opportunity. To be transformed is not just a personal thing; it is a starting point for the transformation of those around us. We can create redemptive atmospheres and environments for those around us.

The ultimate in redemptive action is to bring God’s power to the people and situations in which we find ourselves.

There is a sense in which redemptive simply means replacing good with evil. That can be done philosophically by men of good will. Bringing God’s power into play is the true definition of redemption. (more…)

Owing Our Peers

Weekly Thought – January 14, 2014

Fred took seriously his responsibilities to his friends and peers. He refused to slide when it came to making a contribution to a group. He believed our gifts were given to be helpful – and to be developed.

Part of Fred’s uniqueness was his ability to distill information into pithy, punchy “one-liners.” We now call them Fred Saids. On the breakfastwithfred.com website over 300 are archived. If you are a twitter fan, would you join our volunteer team of tweeters by choosing your favorites and sharing them with your followers? Thanks so much.

Owing Our Peers

I have a responsibility to my peers – to be an individualist.

Oftentimes when I am on college campuses, I ask how many consider themselves non-conformists. Typically, 75 to 95% raise their hands. Laughter usually breaks out. Very few admit to being a conformist because it is socially acceptable to think “outside the box.” When people uphold their right “to be me,” it has a connotation of revolutionary, but conformist.

Actually, the conformist and non-conformist have the same personality type for they are both outer directed. They both work to discern where the “in” line is — one to stand within and the other to stand without. I once knew a young executive woman who told me she loved boundaries. This surprised me for her personality didn’t reflect compliance. Then she explained, “Boundaries show me where the outside is.” She and her more rule-oriented associates are actually closer than either would admit. (more…)

Pressured by Peers

Weekly Thought – January 7, 2014

Fred enjoyed studying social patterns; He also enjoyed swimming against the stream. In his later years comfort won out over style. He attended breakfasts at the Dallas Country Club attired in his plaid flannel pajamas. He focused on what he had to offer, not on winning “best dressed awards.” Fred separated himself from image, function, and status.

Thank you to all who continue to support our efforts. The distribution list for the Weekly Thought grows. Would you recommend our wisdom and leadership email to friends this week? Help us expand the reach.

Pressured by Peers

Peers come in groups. Seldom are they developed individually. We move into neighborhoods, join a Sunday School class, associate with a business group, or join a social network…all come with a collection of peers. And each establishes its own set of values and mores.

We like to think of peer pressure as something applicable to only teens, but we never move totally away from it. Here are a few examples:

1) We change the way we handle being “in” and being “out,” but the definitions still exist. Political organizations punish those who oppose them when they are in power. Social groups create membership parameters based on who belongs.

2) Clothes are a measure of peer acceptance. My family believes I missed this social gene. While on vacation in Colorado at a restaurant we regularly frequented, the friendly waitress greeted me with, “Well, Mr. Smith, I see you dressed yourself today!” Too often we are constrained to dress like our peers. (more…)

Counsel to Mentorees

Weekly Thought – December 31, 2013

Fred spent every January 1st in the office reviewing and assessing the past year and setting goals for the next. Even though his nature was strongly creative, he enjoyed a bold analytical capability. This combination allowed him to approach any topic subjectively and objectively.

As 2014 begins, we thank you. The Apostle Paul constantly gave thanks to those who formed his community. May 2014 bring wisdom, enthusiasm, and awareness.

Counsel to Mentorees

Having been mentored for years and now serving as mentor, here are some observations I hope are helpful.

Have your mentor to help you learn to ask the right questions, search in the right places, and stay interested in the right answers. “Ask a question the other person wants to answer” is my response to all those who probe this area. There is an art and science of questioning.
Decide what degree of excellence you want to attain. The object of mentoring isn’t perfection, but progress. Only a few can be truly excellent, but all can be better…begin with better.
Assume a subordinate learning position. Few people can be humble enough to accept concentrated mentoring. They let their ego get in the way and begin competing to impress the mentor.
Respect the mentor, don’t idolize. The relationship is created to enable growth, not to establish hero worship. When a mentor is placed on a pedestal it is often for the mentoree to claim affiliation. (more…)

Growing Others

Weekly Thought – December 24, 2013

Fred’s family had a tradition of buying presents and decorating a tree on Christmas Eve. It was years before the family knew their Dad started the “tradition” because trees went on sale that afternoon, as did gifts. He and Mary Alice made it special and festive.

The year is coming to an end. Has 2013 flown by for you? It is fun to look back and see all BWF (and BWFLI) has accomplished. Without your help, it would be impossible to continue this work. You are a gift to us. Thank you so much. And please know we will be praying for you to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ with joy and contentment.

Growing Others

We need instructors as well as mentors. With an instructor we share an interest in the same subject and can communicate easily around that particular material. Instruction is what Plato referred to as “transferring information from one mind to another.” Instruction includes showing how to use the data transfer to maximize gifts and talents for usefulness. Instruction is helpful for the learning of techniques.

Mentoring is different. Our best mentors are those with whom we share a common philosophy of life, knowing that what we do is an expression of our mindset. Personally, I have found that I can best be a mentor to those whom I respect most. That respect creates an atmosphere in which the mentee can learn the arts of development since we are talking about more than technique. Mentoring is the process of developing unique qualities in the art of learning. For example, such things as thinking, feeling, and dedication to excellence cannot be given by instruction – they can only be coached.

Mentoring involves the heart as well as the head.

The requirements of a good mentor are: 1) share a comparable philosophy; 2) sincerely believes in the mentee’s potential; 3) both understand where he/she wants to go; 4) able to make assessments and be willing to offer alternative directions; 5) recognizes when the “season” is over; 6) attached to mentee through accomplishment; 7) being mentored themselves; 8) willing to be committed, serious, and available. (more…)

Models for Living

Weekly Thought – December 17, 2013

Fred thought in categories. His gift of clear thinking was aided by his mental filing system. Long before computers, he had his own storage and retrieval process. He created major categories (philosophy, psychology, theology, for example) and when he read, or conversed, he mentally filed the information into one of his categories. When he needed to retrieve, he accessed the proper file. Many of Fred’s mentorees modeled this system.

One of Fred’s favorite quotes was, “Gratitude is the emotion with the longest shelf life.” We, at BWF, want you to know how truly grateful we are for you. The Weekly Thoughts give us an opportunity to share Fred’s words, and his heart. Thank you for your ongoing encouragement.

Models for Living

While our heroes teach us to be, our models help us to do. Models teach us to achieve the best use of our talents; models teach us how to link our passions to our activity.

Early on, I developed this purpose statement: “I have been given a talent; therefore, I am responsible for using it for the common good of my society and for the glory of God.” One of my first challenges was to determine my dominant talent.

Our philosophy of function is critical for a productive life. My personal belief is that service is the rent we pay for the space we occupy. And, the better the space, the higher the rent. We should never complain about the service expected of us. The Scripture reminds us, “To whom much has been given, much is required.” No one inherits rent-free life space.

Poachers on life’s territory eventually are dispossessed and exposed as frauds. We often hear, “There is no free lunch.” I firmly believe there is no free space. If you aren’t paying the rent, someone else is. It is our moral obligation to contribute. (more…)

Heroes Are Real People

Weekly Thought – December 10, 2013

Fred revered reality. He advised others to “stay current.” When considering heroes, his principle held, as well. He didn’t expect perfection from those whose lives he considered heroic. He admired men like Lincoln, DaVinci, Edison, and the apostle Paul. He identified their key character traits and understood their frailties.

The year is closing. As you give, would you consider BWF? Your tax deductible gift is necessary to grow the ministry, allowing us to expand Fred’s reach and impact. Your encouragement through emails, calls, and donations “stimulate us to love and good works.” Thank you so much.

Heroes Are Real People

Every generation contributes to the list of heroes. Every age selects those whose lives reflect heroism. Heroes inspire us and show us the heights to which the human spirit is capable. In looking up, we are drawn upwards.

It takes times to correctly identify one. We are better to use those with heroic qualities to remain models until a generation has passed. True heroes arise in retrospect. Looking back, not glancing around, is the test. Will Rogers put it this way, “Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.” Genuine heroes finish well, so tapping one in mid-life is premature.

Our society seems intent on “demythologizing” our stories of valor. It is popular to deconstruct the men and women of history, casting a shadow over the lives of those we greatly admire. The striving for a common ground on which no one ascends higher than another kills our vision. These social experimenters want to create a way to bring our heroes down by “telling on them.” (more…)

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