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  • Weekly Thoughts (Page 38)

A Concerning Legacy

Weekly Thought – July 17, 2018

Fred’s sense of responsibility made him attractive to all generations. His appeal to younger ones was found in his authenticity. In a 64 year old speech memo, Fred listed concerns he had for those coming behind. He challenged his contemporaries to seriously consider their legacy. This unusual posting gives a sobering view. Of course, Fred observed many positive contributions, but this was his litany of liabilities.

Colby Hurd, Fred’s great grandson, posted on Facebook thoughts very much Fred-like. “Society will crumble and continue to devolve over the next hundred years if the current generations do not solve the actual problems at hand.”

A Concerning Legacy

My friend Jim Lang often begins his talks to students with these words: “We have made a mess that you have inherited. We want to be here to help you navigate the muddy waters.” (editor’s comment: Jim Lang aptly describes what Fred saw over 60 years earlier).

Sadly, we have given the coming generations:

Religion without conviction; Science without conscience; Kinsey without marriage.

Excitement without achievement; Security without effort; Knowledge without wisdom.

Nightmares instead of dreams; Techniques without principles; Precepts without examples.

Freedom without responsibility; The present without promise; The future without fruition.

Marching orders without marching songs; Education without motivation; Prosperity without peace.

War without reason; Art without beauty; Brotherhood without Godhood.

Songs without souls; Enterprise without enthusiasm; Fission without feeling.

Fusions without faith.

As I think what I am leaving I want my family to love me, but not need me. I want them to mature into the principles Mary Alice and I have taught enabling them to successfully live on their own. I want to leave a legacy, not an inheritance – a legacy of faith, and hope.

I want my epitaph to be “he stretched others” because I want to use the gifts God has given me in a consistent, constant exercise of maturing. I want to go to bed seeing how much more I don’t know, respecting the greatness of God’s creation. May my awe expand.

This week think about: 1) What part am I playing in creating a healthy legacy for those behind me? 2) How faithful am I? 3) What positive correlation can I make for each of Fred’s concerns?

Words of Wisdom: “May my awe expand.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who obtains understanding.” (Proverbs 3:13 NET Bible)

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Freedom of Grace

Weekly Thought – July 10, 2018

Fred’s influencers included ancient Catholic mystics like Francois Fenelon, early 20th century teachers like Oswald Chambers, and contemporaries like Ray Stedman, Ramesh Richard, and Steve Brown. Their diverse backgrounds were all built with one shared commonality: the grace of God.

Please join us in praying for the What’s Next Roundtable events this fall. As we travel to campuses in order to begin conversations and create connections about values necessary to prepare them for the next steps, stand with us.

Freedom of Grace

Grace was genuine, real, personal, and palpable to the great saints. Examples like Brother Lawrence, Frank Laubach, and Francois Fenelon had no doubt they were the constant recipients of God’s amazing grace. It was a practical part of their everyday lives. For example, Brother Lawrence said that whenever he made a mistake he didn’t spend any time thinking about it – he just confessed it and moved on. He reminded himself that failure is part of the human condition. But he reminded himself that grace is available through Christ. Confession, not consternation, is the acceptable remedy for failure. Before I read that, I lingered over guilt. Immediate grace was too good to be true, I thought. The old saint’s experience and testimony released me.

Ray Stedman told me, “Fred, when I realized God was for me it changed my life.” God’s grace is true.

Nevertheless, legalism appeals to our common sense. I find it necessary to remind myself that the very Scripture that makes me know my guilt lets me know the grace of God. By refusing grace, we play God thinking to punish ourselves. We expect discipline and mistake the natural consequences of bad decisions as divine judgment. Why? Because we feel we deserve judgment rather than grace.

A dear friend who has come out of alcoholism says that she must keep fresh in her mind her guilt and shame as a bulwark against going back to drinking. Another recovering alcoholic remarked, “She is dry, but she is not free.” She told me when she finally overcame drinking it was with the power of Christ who keeps her both dry and free. Grace, not guilt, is her reality and hope. My first friend was addicted to her cure. She simply exchanged one addiction for another; my second friend became free through her relationship to Christ.

Freedom from the addiction was seen in the joy of sobriety, not just the refusal of alcohol.

This week think about: 1) How am I experiencing the grace of God in my life? 2) Where am I holding on to guilt and shame? 3) What difference is freedom in Christ making in my life?

Words of Wisdom: “Grace, not guilty, should be our reality and hope.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For the law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came about through Jesus Christ.” (John 1: 17 NET Bible)

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Five Points of Parenting

Weekly Thought – July 3, 2018

Fred attempted to parent in the early years by seeing children as miniature adults. It took him awhile to understand the uniqueness of childhood. However, he wasloving, watchful and thoughtful as the children grew. When the grandchildren arrived he finally grasped the process and delighted in their youthfulness.

Five Points of Parenting

Admittedly, I have been a much better parent of adults than I was of small children. I am thankful for our own children and now grandchildren who are teaching me what parenting is all about. These points are definitely not a primer on the subject, but rather some observations made by others and one principle that has worked for me. I hope you find them helpful.

1) A young father with a strong-willed five year old son told me, “My challenge is to transfer the control by me to my son’s control of himself.” This is so much better and so much more than merely controlling the child’s behavior. He is parenting in the highest sense.

2) When a parent with a gifted child who seemed to purposefully fail consulted an experienced psychiatrist he received this counsel: “It is important to know whether the child gets attention (and is connected to you) through achievement or non-achievement. Does the child want your sympathy for failure or approval for achievement? If the bond is the negative model then praise for productivity will fail. Conversely, if the bond is through achievement constant criticism will be destructive.

3) One of my favorite psychiatrists told me anyone who looks to me as a father figure must know two things: 1) what makes papa smile and 2) what makes papa frown. This works in parenting, mentoring, and management. The responsibility of the father figure is to remain consistent to avoid confusion through mixed signals and messages.

4) A well-known comedian was interviewed about his views on parenting. He quickly threw out this line: “Choose when you want your kids to hate you.” He expanded by saying, “Give them everything they want as a child and they will hate you as adults; give them everything they need to become great adults and they will hate you as children – your choice.”

5) One of the best thoughts that I had on parenting came as I considered the transition between child an adult. When the child is young the parent is responsible for control and exercises power (as the father of the five year old pointed out to me). As the child moves into adulthood the relationship changes. Therefore, the good parent changes from power figure to wisdom figure. The movement is child seeking wisdom from parent rather than the parent wielding power and control over the child. One of the great joys of parenting adult children is seeing the mutual mentoring occur. We now share a common desire to help each other grow.

Think carefully about: 1) Which of these points really hits home for me this week? 2) How can I become a more effective parent or grandparent by focusing on these principles? 3) Who can I encourage in their parenting this week?

Words of Wisdom: “One of the great joys of parenting adult children is seeing the mutual mentoring occur. We now share a common desire to help each other grow.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Children’s children are a crown to the aged and parents are the pride of their parents.” (Proverbs 17:6 NET Bible)

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Four Answers to Prayer

Weekly Thought – June 26, 2018

Fred chewed on ideas, deriving more and more enjoyment from the process. When he completed this exercise he molded his thoughts into material which was useful to others. In his pursuit of stretching others he constantly considered how best to use his thinking for the benefit of his friends.

As June draws to an end we ask you to think about the subject of prayer: prayer for our work, but prayer for the work of God’s kingdom. We can all be part of His plan and His purpose.

Four Answers to Prayer

I have been thinking a great deal about the four answers to prayer that Ed Young, Sr. suggests:

1) “I can’t hear you”
2) “No”
3) “Wait”
4) “Yes”

Expanding on these points is a meaningful use of mental energy and time.

Often in scripture (both old and new testaments) God tells an individual, “I won’t hear you because of your sin and disobedience.” Sin blocks our communication and fellowship.

God says “no” to self-indulgent prayers – particularly when what we want is contrary to the way that He wants to develop us. For example, He said “no” to the Apostle Paul when he asked to have the thorn removed. I thought about times in my life when “no” seemed to be the answer. As I considered it more, I realized I had been praying for something that seems to contravene what He is doing in my life.

I have been asking for feelings about things that are in reality facts. Then I remind myself faith comes by hearing, not by feeling. When He tells us “wait” He is talking about an active process in which we exercise faith and obedience. Abraham went for thirteen years without hearing from God and He told him that in his waiting “the promise still holds.”

Sometimes it is impossible for us to accurately identify when the answer is “yes.” It is often wrapped up in circumstances we do not see fitting together. It may be sometime before we can look back and see His “yes.”

The reaction to all these answers must come in acknowledging His sovereignty. We must recognize His love and His involvement in our lives. Christ did this in Gethsemane when He prayed, “Thy will be done – not mine.” This should always be our attitude toward God.

It is dangerous to nag God as we try to get our will, not His. We remember the scripture, “He gave them their desires, but with it leanness of soul.” Prayer is serious business, but it is also one of the great treasures afforded the Christian. We need to mature in our understanding and application.

This week think about: 1) Where is God saying “wait?” 2) How has prayer changed me? 3) What is my current heart condition before God?

Words of Wisdom: “When He tells us “wait” He is talking about an active process in which we exercise faith and obedience.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For the culmination of all things is near. So be self-controlled and sober-minded for the sake of prayer.” (1 Peter 4:7 NET Bible)

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Be A Blessing

Weekly Thought – June 19, 2018

Fred spoke to a men’s group and mentioned if his family were aristocratic enough to have a crest it would have Be A Blessing as the motto. A package arrived a few weeks later with a framed, colorful graphic crest bearing symbols representative of Fred’s life and emblazoned with the words Be A Blessing (in English). He always wondered what the Latin would be. If any scholars have the answer I am sure BWF would appreciate adding that to the archives.

Thank you for your continued support. The plans for Asbury University September 21,22 are firming up well. Keep on praying for the team members, the steering committee at Asbury, and the students who will be participating in the What’s Next Roundtable.

Be A Blessing

Our grandson Jeff Horch prepared to leave for Russia to do a video documentary. He said, “Pray for me, Mom.” She answered, “Be a Blessing.” She internalized what Mary Alice and I always wanted for our children – that they find their uniqueness and use it to bless others.

I thought about Dick Halverson’s comment that Jesus didn’t have a day planner, but simply went about doing good. On His way to heal a dead child He stopped for a woman who received healing from a long-term disease simply by touching His garment. We never know how a small blessing will grow. Giant oaks from small acorns grow.

As I remember the story, our friends Cliff and Billie Barrows were stopping in the home of sisters who invited them to go to the church where a young man was preaching. When they got there they needed a song leader and pianist. So, they volunteered to help. The young man preaching was Billy Graham. As association began that night that has influenced the entire world. Those sisters were a blessing.

Again, on a snowy night when the visiting preacher could not get through the storm a layman stood and read scripture to the scant audience. That was the night Charles Haddon Spurgeon made a profession of faith in Christ. A small acorn was planted that night that grew mightily.

If each Christian started the day by praying, “Lord, make me a blessing” what a difference it would make in our world. First, we have to have our lives opened to others; then we have to be looking for opportunities; and finally, we must take action. Good intentions are never enough. Can we be honest enough to ask ourselves every night – have I been a blessing?

(Editor’s note: When the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute developed a mission the purpose became: “Stretching and Blessing the Next Generation of Leaders… to the glory of God.” Fred wanted his epitaph to be “He stretched others” and “Be a Blessing” as a family motto.)

This week think about: 1) Who has been a blessing in my life? 2) When was the last time I said thank you to those who bless me? 3) How have I been intentional in blessing others?

Words of Wisdom: “Giant oaks from small acorns grow.”

Wisdom from the Word: Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ.” (Ephesians 1:3 NET Bible)

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What is a Home?

Weekly Thought – June 12, 2018

Fred enjoyed the mutuality of friendship and the benefits of stimulating thought. He assembled a group for a weekend of conversation – no agenda, just interesting people with the ability to prompt interchange. As a follow-up he asked them to send thoughts, articles, or other correspondence to each of the others. He called them “The twenty-five.” This week’s thought is one of his offerings based on a visit to the new home of a longtime friend.

Fall is coming for the What’s Next Roundtable. Please continue praying for these conversation and connection times with college students in three states. We appreciate your support through encouraging words, prayer, and financial gifts. Thank you for standing with us.

What is a Home?

1. A home is a place to grow older together happily knowing “the best is yet to be.” No “yellowing of the leaves” happening to the leaves of love.

2. There must be a natural place to eat and talk – an atmosphere, not necessarily a designated space.

3. There should be a selection of spots for conversation, both large and small. There should also be an outside place where the greater work of God joins with the handiwork of man giving an extra dimension.

4. If possible, an extra space for guests which they can make their own without interrupting the natural flow of the house. To have a place where guests sleep is good, but giving them a space to read, listen to music, think about the day, and relax in the bathtub.

5. A house should be functional, for after all it is not a display but a happiness factory for those who live in it. It’s basic raison d’etre is utility for people. It exists to provide those who live there the ability to accomplish their goals without inflating their egos to their detriment.

6. A home should be a place where things worth doing occur.

7. A home should have a sense of beauty, no matter what its size. It must appreciate, not depreciate the environment. It must give warmth and comfort showing the beauty of hospitality.

8. A home is not an investment in money alone, but in living. It should never be primarily viewed as a good financial decision. A home should have the quality of a nest with the occupants nestled down for the foreseeable future. It can be a wise financial consideration, but it should always be thought of as the place for family to live and prosper.

9. One practical note: the mortgage should be as small as possible so financial pressures don’t pollute the environment. The full enjoyment of relational growth and connection should be the focus, not the worries of satisfying creditors.

10. A home should represent the cradle of relationships with family, friends, and Christ.

This week think about: 1) How is my home creating and development peace and harmony? 2) What can I do this week to encourage connection in my home? 3) When do I feel most satisfied in my home?

Words of Wisdom: A home is a place to grow older together happily knowing “the best is yet to be.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, ‘Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.’” (Luke 19:22 NET Bible)

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Intro to Mentor

Weekly Thought – June 5, 2018

Fred was known as a “mentor to a generation of leaders.” Through the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute his legacy of mentoring continues. The “What’s Next Roundtable” focuses on mentoring, networking, and persevering. For the month of June the Weekly Thoughts will shine a light on principles of leadership Fred saw in his mentor, Maxey Jarman. This is Fred’s introduction to the article.

Intro to Mentor

I first met Maxey Jarman back in the mid-thirties when I was about twenty. I had been teaching a Sunday School class in a nurses’ training program at Nashville General Hospital. One of the attendees became an industrial nurse, and she introduced me to her boss, the director of personnel. I said to myself, “I’d like a job like that.” I had no training or experience, but I knew General Shoe (later GENESCO) was one company in town where there might be such a position. So, I decided to meet the President, Maxey Jarman.

Maxey always bought gas at the station next to the plant. I waited until he drove up in his red Chrysler, then walked over and introduced myself. We just shook hands. He probably thought it was very strange, but in his early thirties he was rather shy and not very gregarious.

Mary Alice and I had just married and rented out one of our two bedrooms to a factory worker at General Shoe. She told me of some labor problems at work, and I called Mr. Jarman, offering my viewpoint. He invited me to his office. We had a very short conversation, and I heard no more about it. But he impressed me so much I decided to join the men’s Bible class he taught. They had me lead the singing and eventually elected me president of the class.

One Wednesday night after church in 1941, Maxey invited me to have a Coke at the Rexall Drug. We sat on fountain stools, and he asked me what I planned to do in life. “I’d like to be a personnel man,” I told him. He asked if I had any experience, and I said, “No, I’ve never even seen a personnel department. But I met a guy who’s a personnel man, and I’d like that kind of work.”

That night I told Mary Alice I thought he would offer me a job, and no matter what he offered, I was going to take it because I wanted to be associated with him. I sensed then I wanted to know him and work for him for life. There was something significantly different about this man. Being a preacher’s kid in the poor part of town, I’d become cynical about Christians. But Maxey personified reality. This was so valuable to me at that time…here was a real man, a genuine person; and our years of friendship intensified that evaluation. When he offered me a position in personnel, I was elated.
I had never seen a man so serious about wanting to reach the truth. For forty-three years I wrote my observations of Maxey on scraps of paper, everything from church bulletins to napkins. Last year I compiled them – 500 pages of separate paragraphs. I spent three weeks at our lake house doing little but reading and thinking. When I told him about this, he said, “I’m amazed. What a waste of time!”

This week think about:1) Who has influenced my life like Maxey Jarman impacted Fred? 2) What lessons have I learned from my mentors? 3) How have I studied my mentors and put the lessons into play?

Words of Wisdom: “But Maxey personified reality… here was a real man, a genuine person.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now give me wisdom and discernment so I can effectively lead this nation. Otherwise no one is able to make judicial decisions for this great nation of yours.” (2 Chronicles 1:10 NET Bible)

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Character Matters

Fred’s library included books on speaking, elocution, and famous orators. He studied style, delivery, and content. As a lifelong learner he focused on clarity in his speaking and writing. He enjoyed tracing philosophical thought through generations, as well.

Character Matters
Browsing through a book flea market, I found a large four hundred fifty page leather bound, gilt-edged volume of “Famous After Dinner Speeches” delivered between 1875 and 1895 in Boston and New York. After digging deeply for the nickel it cost, I took it home and began reading through them.
In those speeches were many issues completely relevant today. As I studied them I saw a common thread: dignity. “A man is honored for what he gives, not for what he gets.”
In this time (1981) I see an attack on this principle. Recent surveys show that the “I am for #1” is the primary motivator. The sale of books on aggression and winning by intimidation regardless of the effect on character have skyrocketed. We are changing our definition of good and evil. That is vital. When we redefine the base as noble, our foundational values are gone. I see this change coming quickly and needs reversing.
When I was a kid among the poor (the socially acceptable phrase is underprivileged, but all we lacked was money – we had everything else, so I prefer to say poor) even the most impoverished had respect for Christian values. We had respect for those with strong character and integrity who didn’t get rich by whatever means were available. The ends definitely did not justify the means.
America operated on Christian principles, even if the population wasn’t scripturally based and “born again.” This is evaporating. The definitions of morality are being redone. I cannot think of anything more critical than understanding the source of definitions and the way we operate.
In business, leadership responsibility is perpetuity, not net profit. Profit is important because it allows for an ongoing institution, but it isn’t the basic principle. It is the responsibility of those privileged to lead to provide for the organization to continue. Inadequate management can wreak havoc on businesses that have provided livelihoods for employees and communities alike. Often it is a lack of character, short-term thinking, and failure to understand their leadership responsibilities.
Effective leadership precedes profit. Revenue is not the goal, but a means to the goal. Chasing money alone weakens an organization and often results in short-term decisions and compromise. It creates an environment which denies the dignity of longevity and perpetuity.
A value structure which has a long-term perspective is an essential part of dignity in business and in personal living. Allowing values to deteriorate into “whatever works” is the way to failure and defeat.

This week think about: 1) Fred saw these trends in 1981. What are you seeing today that concerns you in business, home, church, and community? 2) How are you creating personal habits to live with dignity? 3) Who is a leading influencer in your life?
Words of Wisdom: “Effective leadership precedes profit.”
Wisdom from the Word: “Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might and the beginning of my strength, outstanding in dignity, outstanding in power.” (Genesis 49:3 NET Bible)

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God and America

Weekly Thought – May 22, 2018

Fred understood human nature better than most. He was never shocked because he grasped the depth of our depravity, but also celebrated the heights to which we could soar in the Spirit. He enjoyed thinking about philosophical elements of society. The separation of church and state is an example.

God and America

In their writings, memorials, statues, public utterances, and their deepest thoughts, our founding fathers demonstrated their faith in the Divine. When they advocated the separation of church and state were they being hypocritical? No, I think not. They simply understood it better than we do today. Separation was not to isolate or dwarf either.

We have confused the issue of religion in politics with the theory of separation. These are very different concepts which the media and unknowledgeable, biased people treat as synonymous.

The basic tenet of separation is to keep two major bureaucracies (church and state) from uniting and thereby combining treason and heresy under the same authority. If a person became offensive he could be declared treasonous and if that failed, marked as a heretic. The chance to escape was slight.

The union of church and state refused equal freedom to denominationalism. The elimination of choice between denominations would be extremely unhealthy. Personally, I know and respect a great many of the current religious leaders, but I do not know a single one I would risk handing over leadership for all of Christendom. The dispersion of church leadership is an advantage of denominationalism.

When a human leader has the choice between the visible power of politics with money/power and the invisible power of God, the temptation is great to turn toward the visible which can be controlled, neglecting the invisible which is intended to control him.

Unfortunately, we are seeing a revival of the concept of civil religion. To say that morality comes only from the Christian faith, in my view, is untrue. There is a great need for stronger morality in America. I am grateful for greater depth of our moral fiber. But I believe to say it can only come from Christians is not true.

I appreciate the effort to revitalize America. We need it. However, I am afraid of any group who indicates that when we choose them as leaders we automatically get the exclusive sponsorship of God. Quoting religious platitudes can hardly deliver God to our nation. Who knows if He is through with us, but if He is elections can’t return Him.

It is important that I am searching to be on God’s side, not promising that He is on mine. Am I saying religion (and Christian faith) should not enter into political decisions? Certainly not! To say a man’s convictions should be kept out of any of his decisions is to suggest he become schizophrenic. In seeing the validity of a man’s faith in his political life, we also see the wisdom of not creating a society in which a man could be hanged on the dual horns of treason and heresy.

This week think about: 1) How do I react to Fred’s thoughts on church/state? 2) Why do I participate in the political system? 3) When do I most effectively allow my faith to influence my work, church, family?

Words of Wisdom: “To say a man’s convictions should be kept out of any of his decisions is to suggest he become schizophrenic.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He said to them, ‘Then give to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.’” (Matthew 22:21 NET Bible)

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American Musings

Weekly Thought – May 15, 2018

Fred’s early 1980s speeches reflect the depth of his thinking. He always went to the fundamental principles, then fleshed them out with current illustrations. These observations about America reflect the early weeks of Reagan’s administration.

American Musings

We have to think maybe the only real mandate President Reagan got from the people was to replace Jimmy Carter. He was elected, to my observations, not on confidence, but on hope. And hope is such a tenuous political emotion – so often disappointed. The masses knew we needed a change. It is still for this administration to establish that confidence so necessary for a leader if he is going to be truly constructive rather than a poll watcher. Sometimes I think we are getting to be political “poll cats.” Pardon the stinky pun.

Can we think together about what it takes to build confidence on hope’s foundation? America was built by confidence in the founding fathers whom we still revere. They were men who were willing to serve the nation even at a personal sacrifice. Now we have shifted to those who ask to run the country to take power, not to serve it. Those willing to serve were the statesmen while those anxious to serve are the politicians.

We must once again feel America has a destiny – more than survival. Mere survival will not inspire the energy and commitment w need for world leadership. As Faulkner said, “The life worth living does more than survive, it prevails.” When our highest concern is survival then compromise becomes our modus operandus. When communism first threatened the world those who chose survival were represented by the scholar who said, “Better Red than dead.”

Those who refuse to cave in to fear are saying with Solzhenitsyn “Better dead than a scoundrel.” He was willing to put aside risk survival for the life that prevails. He, like Bonhoeffer, was offered survival in exchange for compromise and silence. They both chose excellence over mere existence. Only when life is really worth living is it worth dying for.
I have had some concern that some of our past state department leaders have not believed us as a people capable of leading and therefore adopted compromise.

If the character of our people has weakened, if we have run our course in defense of freedom, and if leisure has become our goal, then compromise is all that is the only option open to us… and that will be for a short time. Compromise is a downward spiral, just as the prevailing attitude draws us upward.

This week think about: 1) How are these 1981 thoughts pertinent to today? 2) What did Fred see that I can apply to my own thinking this week? 3) When do I accept compromise in my work, faith, or family?

Words of Wisdom: “Only when life is really worth living is it worth dying for.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Dear friends, if our conscience does not condemn us, we have confidence in the presence of God.” (1 John 3:21 NET Bible)

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