Weekly Thought – October 21, 2025

Fred asked questions… Of others and of himself. Their son Fred, too, has the gift of questioning. This week’s thought is based on a conversation between the two of them.

The Last Word

When I was 28 I sat in a cemetery thinking about what I wanted my family to put on my tombstone. “He stretched others” came to mind and it hasn’t changed for my entire life.

Recently our son Fred asked me, “If you had only one more talk to make, what would be the subject?” Intriguing question, don’t you think? As we all face our mortality, we think more seriously about the impact of our speech and our example. We know our time to influence others is limited. Just as Fred asked me, I started asking others. I find it a worthy question.

I was then challenged to describe the process of answering the questions. A good friend said, “Everyone hasn’t thought about these issues as much as you have, Fred. Give me some help on processing my own answers.” So here are some questions that I thought about in forming my own.

1. What one fact do I feel has affected my life the most?
2. What one thing final thing would I say to my children and grandchildren?
3. What is the one statement that most deeply stirs me?
4. What is the one thing I could say that would affect my hearers the most?

Whether it’s one last speech to make, one last song to sing, one last book to write, or one last time around the family dinner table, it makes a difference when you know what you would want your final expression to be. In defining this, you find out a lot about who you are and what your life’s purpose it.

Editor’s note: (In case you were wondering about Fred’s answer to his son… “The nature of God and the nature of man: is man basically good with a tendency toward sin, or basically sinful with a possibility for good?” He added: “The answer to this question influences all human relationships and commerce.”

This week carefully consider: 1) What would I want my last words to be? 2) How would these words impact those around me and others to hear of my death? 3) Who is asking me good questions?

Words of Wisdom: “As we all face our mortality, we think more seriously about the impact of our speech and our example.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I have competed well; I have finished the race. I have kept the faith.” (2 Timothy 4:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 9, 2025

Fred thought in principles. He aptly applied discernment, understanding, and experience to fundamental principles. He often said: “Principles never change; just the illustrations.” His well-disciplined study of human nature and his ever alert view of human behavior gave him ample “material” as he would say.

Fundamental People Principles

Here are three simple things I have learned about people:

1.) It is a total waste of time trying to correct other people’s mistakes. I should use the time to utilize their strengths and buttress their weaknesses. Too many training courses focus the majority of the time on overcoming weaknesses – a complete misunderstanding of human nature and effective management.
2.) You can’t change anybody else. Each person has to change himself or herself – you can’t do it for them. You can set up pressures or you can be alert to opportunities for encouragement, but the action can’t be taken for another. You might even create fear that will cause a temporary change, but nothing permanent. We spend an awful lot of time putting temporary situations in place, thinking we have changed a person but in the end it is an inefficient, ineffective short term fix.
3.) People are the way they are because they want to be that way. I haven’t always believed that. In fact, when I started out in life I wanted to be a social worker… until I became extremely disillusioned with people. Now I am totally convinced each of us is responsible for our choices. Instead of operating from this principle, we rationalize and give all sorts of reasons that people are not the product of their own decisions. One thing I have clearly observed: we do this for ourselves, as well.

When we have an opportunity to change and don’t take it, the decision is being made to stay in the same place. On the other hand, when you go through personal challenges without hiding, rationalizing, or running away, a decision is being made to grow and mature. The person who comes through is the person of choice.

Finally, people who want to change make a plan knowing growth doesn’t “just happen.” Conversely, people who avoid planning and just “go with the flow” often treat the lack of change, opportunity, or maturity with rationalization.

As I like to say, “Principles never change; just the illustrations.” These simple fundamentals can work as a skeleton for effective personal relations. Each interaction will have its own set of particulars (or illustrations). I find practice is the key to mastering these principles.

This week carefully consider: 1) How well do I understand people? 2) Which simple principle is most helpful for me this week? 3) Where in scripture can we find substantiation?

Words of Wisdom: “Principles never change; just the illustrations.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And all who heard Jesus were astonished at his understanding and his answers.” (Luke 2:27 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 26, 2025

Fred and Mary Alice maintained high ethical standards in the home. The children were keenly aware of what it meant to be a Smith. There were times when each child faced the challenge of peer pressure, but the training gave them strength to hold to the family north star.

Standing Strong

Frankly, I was surprised to find in my study that loyalty is one of the key elements in love. I thought spontaneity and extravagance were always primary characteristics. But after years of marriage and long-term friendships I put loyalty at the top of the list. This virtue gains in its dearness year by year.

For example, when I was near death I woke up to see a sign taped to the wall at the bottom of my hospital bed. It featured just four letters: YTCO. Our granddaughter Catherine (daughter of son Fred and his wife Carol) recalled a story which was important to the Smith culture so she made the sign for me. Confederate Cavalry Commander Jeb Stuart always closed his letters to General Robert E. Lee with the words “Yours To Count On.” It became a family motto. During that time I could open my eyes, see her sign, and know she was saying, “We are with you, Grandfather. We love you.”

I am a connoisseur of donut shops. I have sampled them nationwide. In Grand Saline, Texas, I was visiting one of the best. Across from me was a country couple. She wore gingham and he wore overalls. Finishing before me, he got up to pay. She didn’t move which surprised me. He even went outside and opened the truck. When he returned he bent over and picked her up which revealed a full body brace. He carried her out to the pickup while most of us silently watched through the shop’s front window.

The waitress stood at the counter and remarked, “He took his vows seriously, didn’t he?”

God’s love is evidenced through His loyalty to us. “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” Our names are engraved on the palms of His hand – permanently. Nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

This week carefully consider: 1) How often do I seriously think about loyalty? 2) Who do I know who models loyalty in family, work, and community? 3) What does God’s loyalty to me mean day by day?

Words of Wisdom: “YTCO – Yours to Count On”

Wisdom from the Word: “For I am ever aware of your faithfulness, and your loyalty continually motivates me.” (Psalm 26:3 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 1, 2025

Fred never loafed. He believed in the work ethic, not the wish ethic. As he and Mary Alice raised their children a familiar phrase “when nothing but the will says ‘go.’” Its original is questioned, but the meaning of it in the Smith household was clear: “we don’t lean on our feelings, but on doing what is right and what needs to be done.”

Being a “Can Do” Leader

I was interested in a recent survey that studied the difference between successful and unsuccessful businesses. The top executives of major companies were surveyed. The one outstanding difference recognized between successful and unsuccessful executives was this: the successful says “I will.” The unsuccessful says, “I should, I expect to, I need to get around to it, or as we says in Texas, I am fixin’ to.”

Nothing happens until someone says, “I will.” That is the action of the decisive individuals. He picks up a great idea, writes it down, goes back to the office and says, “I will.” And he does it! My daughter often reminds me this principle applies to female leaders, as well. The other one (is this okay Brenda?) gets a good idea, may even write it down, and get it back to the office. But there is where the difference shows up. Their response is, ‘I will get around to this shortly.” Shortly seldom comes, so the same easy chair in the same rut is the place of choice.

The only difference between success and failure is found in that decision on taking action or delaying it. The old story tells of decision making patterns; 1) Ready, fire, aim; 2 Fire, fire, fire; 3) Ready, aim, aim, aim 4)and the wise pattern is ready, aim, fire. The line between the styles are thin, to be sure – but critical.

My friends in the insurance industry say it this way: “The successful agent does what the unsuccessful one won’t.” The high producing agent makes the call, does the prospecting, prepares the presentation through a knowledgeable process, and asks for the sale. And key is the fact that they do this over and over!

Too often the unsuccessful spends times organizing forms, reading the sales manuals, magazines, and attending industry meetings where absolutely no prospectives are. Then finished with the backroom work they wait for the ideal time to make the initial call. Too often “the perfect time” doesn’t come.

In my experience right thinking leads to right action which leads to the right results.

This week think about: 1) How can I motivate myself from “I ought to” to “I will?” 2) What good habits carry me through the rough times? 3) How do I take control of my daily activities and decision?

Words of Wisdom: “Nothing happens until someone says ‘I will.’”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now give me wisdom and discernment so I can effectively lead this nation. Otherwise no one is able to make judicial decisions for this great nation of yours.”(2 Chronicles 1:10 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – June 3, 2025

Fred believed in the development and use of his God-given gifts. As a teenager a traveling evangelist came to his church and left Fred with words which created a lifelong mission. “Fred, I want you to always remember this paraphrase of Proverbs 18:16: “Take the gift that God has given you, and use it, and you will stand before great men.” The framed words always hung on his office wall.

Creating a Winning Environment

When I saw the old wrangler on whose life the movie “The Horse Whisperer” was based I felt that he was a kindred spirit. He used empathy rather than dominance to achieve his goals. He transformed both the role of the wrangler and the experience of the horse by moving from a hierarchical system, which was tyrannical to a team, or mutual benefit, program. He no longer depended on the horse’s fear but on its friendship. His orders became friendly suggestions that he knew would be accepted.

The famed “winningest coach,” John Wooden of UCLA basketball, used his own nondictatorial system. Reportedly, he never mentioned the word “win” to any of his teams. He simply emphasized the concept of doing one’s best. This was an entirely different emphasis from the usual pre-game pep talk in the locker rooms of his day. Wooden’s philosophy excluded using dirty tricks, bending the rules, violating recruiting regulations and falsifying grades, all of which winning teams often rationalize. Wooden made it possible to win even when losing (which wasn’t often) as long as the men on his teams did their best. He had an eye for talent and for men who would grow in an atmosphere that demanded their best. He built teams of honorable men.

The goal of leadership is to accomplish the vision of our calling. We optimize our associates’ gifts and passions as we work to attain what we genuinely believe is the will of God, and for the glory of God.

We work to find the uniqueness in others and then to develop, encourage, and reward it. We work to find and use our own giftedness so that one day we may hear “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

Catching a vision and then creating an atmosphere in which talented men and women thrive in the role of the leader. Working together in tandem, not operating in an authoritarian system is the sign of a healthy organization.

This week think about:1) What is my uniqueness, as Fred would say? 2) What is my response to a tyrannical workplace? 3) Who can I encourage to find their giftedness and develop it?

Words of Wisdom: “The goal of leadership is to accomplish the vision of our calling.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Then they will realize this is your work, and that you, LORD, have accomplished it.” (Psalm 109:27 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – May 27, 2025

Fred grew up facing numerous difficulties, but lived with the maxim: “You can either get bitter or better.” He didn’t adopt an artificial sugar-coated attitude. He liked to say he was not an optimist, nor a pessimist, but a realist.

Avoiding A Bitter Taste

The little black book some use as a “get-even-with” list is nothing more than a poison package. Scripture says “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” Revenge has no place in the mature life… it is an acid that eats away at the inner being.

Some individuals are unfortunate enough to build their lives around a single hurtful episode, focusing on vengeance until it becomes a lifetime obsession. It makes the person mean-spirited, cynical, unhealthy, desperate, and joyless. And this person is certainly unpleasant to be around.

Avoiding bitterness when seriously hurt is difficult. Sometimes it is caused by an individual; sometimes it is a particular event or situation. We all know men and women still scarred by abuse, physical ailments, or emotional damage. These wake up each morning with the proverbial “chip on their shoulders.” On the other hand, there are many who live with grace and forgiveness. These can move on to maturity and health.

After speaking at a prayer breakfast in Wichita, KS an executive invited me to see a plant where 200 men and women with learning disabilities were employed. He was chairman of this company’s board and was insistent I travel to the plant with him. I must admit this activity wasn’t on my pre-planned itinerary.

I am so glad he invited me.

We arrived and I was told most of the employees were born with Down Syndrome. We toured and I asked him, “How often do you visit this location?” “Almost every day” was his response. It was clear the employees loved him as they greeted us with hugs and smiles. When we got toward the end a young woman enthusiastically greeted him with a bear hug. He turned to me and said, “Fred, I want you to meet our daughter.” I immediately knew this man could have chosen to become bitter, but he became better – and so did everyone around him.

This week carefully consider: 1) When have I chosen to become better, not bitter? 2) How can I be an influence for forgiveness? 3) Where have I experienced the grace of another?

Words of Wisdom: “Some individuals are unfortunate enough to build their lives around a single hurtful episode, focusing on vengeance until it becomes an obsession.”

Wisdom from the Word : “Do not avenge yourselves, dear friends, but give place to God’s wrath, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – May 20, 2025

Fred aimed to be productive, helpful, and achievement oriented. He believed in “paying rent for the space he occupied” through contribution to those whose lives he touched.

Energized By Accomplishment

I have learned that if I end my day feeling beat, I probably didn’t accomplish much that is worthwhile. Accomplishment gives me such joy that it actually restores my energy. Activity, for its sake alone, is draining.

As I have gotten older, I find I am more selective, more thorough, more conscious of what I am trying to do. I learned that activity is not the mark of accomplishment. The more I can delegate tasks that are not uniquely mine, the more attention I can pay to those that are. Do you ever find yourself doing someone else’s work? Why? My friend who was head of a large international company once told me, “I am not going to pay them, and then do their work, as well.”

A leader may feel that he or she doesn’t have the luxury of only doing a few things well, but the principles still apply. I have run small organizations, and I have run large corporations. I have never been short of time because I believe I know how to prioritize. I keep for myself the things that only I can do and delegate the rest.

But many fall prey to the temptation to keep others dependent upon them in order to make themselves feel important. Others fight against feelings of guilt if they aren’t arriving first and leaving last. In the church the concept of “servant leadership” is quite popular. I do not believe that means the pastor should be cutting the yard and sweeping the floor in order to demonstrate leadership.

To follow the delegation model, it is critical to understand strengths. If a leader spends an inordinate amount of time trying to overcome weaknesses, the organization will suffer from anemic leaders. To do what only I could do meant I clearly understood and maximized my strengths.

This week carefully consider: 1) How well do I know my strengths? 2) What defines accomplishment for me? 3) When do I feel the true sense of operating effectively?

Words of Wisdom: “Activity for its sake alone is draining.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Give thanks to the LORD. Call on his name. Make known his accomplishments among the nations.” (Psalm 105:1 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 22, 2025

Fred sat on numerous business and ministry boards. His gifts of discernment, connecting dots, and maximizing operations enabled him to contribute to the development of numerous organizations. Vision building is a critical element of any institutional infrastructure.

Victory Through Vision

David Rockefeller was once quoted as saying, “The number one function of the top executive is to establish the purpose of the organization. Like the hub of the wheel, everything else grows out of this priority. “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (See Proverbs 29:18) The New American Standard Bible focuses on the way they perish: “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained.” To be restrained, and to be concentrated on purpose, is essential to accomplishment. That is why the leader must define the “why” of the organization.

A leader must personally the vision and be dedicated to it personally. As they seek to maintain the vision, leaders must keep in mind these essentials:

1. Define the vision specifically. Leaders disperse the fog.
2. Express it so other people understand it. Lingo without logic simply confuses and doesn’t galvanize.
3. Get both organizational and personal acceptance of the vision. Nodding heads without knowing hearts keep the motor idling.
4. Repeat the purpose over and over. The Old Testament patriarchs set up stones of remembrance to remind the people of their story. (See Joshua 4:5.7, My wife, Mary Alice, always sent the children out the door with the following: ‘Remember who you are, where you’re from, and what you represent.” She kept their purpose “ever before them.”

When you have a clear vision, you view everything in its light. A vision is a filter and a grid through which all activity flows. You come to see the need for a vision broad enough that everything you do can be tied to it. The focused vision will both include and exclude. Despite the work it takes to craft an effective vision, it is a far better alternative to perishing.

This week carefully consider: 1) How aware am I of the vision statements of leading businesses or ministries? 2) What would a family vision statement be? 3) Who has a good approach to vision casting?

Words of Wisdom: “To be restrained, and to be concentrated on purpose, is essential to accomplishment.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but the one who keeps the law, blessed is he!” (Proverbs 29:18 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 25, 2025

Fred developed an international reputation as a speaker, writer, management consultant, and board member. His gifting for thinking and communicating allowed him to “stretch others.” When asked about his wisdom he considered it a God-given talent, but pointed to listening and asking questions as two critical elements.

The Listening Leader

Every leader spends a good part of the day communicating with others. A great many books have been written on techniques of good communication, but the real problem is the spirit, not the technique. Attitude is often the barrier. Almost any two people who want to can talk together. Those who find difficulty communication find they are hindered by their desire to impress, not express.
The difference between a good team and a great one is motivation. Any organization with the ability to get to good can move to great with the proper motivation. And nothing motivates quite like effective communication.

Most leaders are adequate talkers, but inadequate listeners. The ability to listen creatively and positively depends on the leader’s ability to listen on four levels: 1) the meaning of the words 2) the choice of words 3) the sounds of the words and 4) the sight of the words. Most people listen negatively, which is simply keeping silent or reloading while the other person is reloading. Positive listening guides the talker both in the giving of facts and a display of emotions that permit the listener to evaluate on more than the surface level.

Listening can be apparent or latent. A key to latent listening is the ability to read body language. Gestures, eye movements, and physical positioning give clues which fill in conversational gaps. Our words can say one thing while our body responds in agreement or sending up red flags.

Communication is mistakenly confused with agreement. I often hear people say that all problems would be solved if we really heard and understood each other. Not so! In fact, if we really understood what the other one was truly saying, we might have increased disagreement. We talk around subjects in order to avoid points of disagreement. Hearing and understanding are critical to communication but not synonymous with agreement and concord.

This week think about: 1) How do I know I am being heard? 2) What enables me to truly hear others? 3) Who can help me develop my listening skills?

Words of Wisdom: “True communication is talking to express, not impress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Let the wise also hear and gain instruction, and let the discerning acquire guidance!” (Proverbs 1:6 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – March 18, 2025

Fred believed in the necessity of vision, mission, and purpose statements. He understood strong organizational leaders effectively initiated the importance of their being imbedded into the well-running business or ministry.

Victory Through Vision

Davd Rockefeller was once quoted: “The number one function of the top executive is to establish the purpose of the organization.” Like the hub of the wheel, everything else grows out of this priority. Until the vision is established, trouble is ahead. Scripture says, “Where there is no vision, the people perish.” The New American Standard Bible focuses on the way they perish. “Where there is no vision the people are unrestrained.” To be restrained is to be concentrated in purpose, is essential to accomplishment, and that is why the leader must define why the organization exists.

A leader must personify the vision and be dedicated to it personally. As they seek to maintain the vision, leaders must keep in mind these essentials:

1) Define the vision specifically. Leaders disperse the fog.
2) Express it so other people understand it. Lingo without logic simply confuses and doesn’t galvanize.
3) Get both organizational and personal acceptance of the vision. Nodding heads without knowing hearts keep the motors idling.
4) Repeat the purpose regularly and systematically. The Old Testament patriarchs set up stones of remembrance to remind the people of their story. Mary Alice always sent the children out the door saying: “Remember who you are, where you are from, and what you represent.” She kept the purpose “ever before them.” As they grew up and raised their own families, our daughter Brenda would remind her adult children “be a blessing.”

When you have a clear vision, you view every decision in its light. The vision is a filter and a grid through which all activity flows. It becomes the lens through which the entire operation is seen. The focus enables the leader to both include an exclude. Crafting a workable, sustainable vision can be time consuming, but its effective use is a far better alternative to perishing.

This week think about: 1) How clear is my ability to communicate my personal vision? 2) What am I able to see that inspires confidence in others? 3) Where can I help others craft effective vision statements?

Words of Wisdom: “Lingo without logic simply confuses and doesn’t galvanize.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I will give them a single-minded purpose to live in a way that always shows respect for me. “ (Jeremiah 32:39 NET Bible)