Concern for Others

Weekly Thought – October 25, 2022

Fred grew up in the depths of the national depression. He grew up knowing economic downturns, as well as prosperous economic conditions. He always held to his basic principles about money: no debt, no greed, and recognition of the fact everything he had came from God. His generosity was rarely known, and his desire to serve the Lord with their resources enabled many ministries to grow.

Concern for Others

In the midst of a serious Dallas financial downturn a successful, female stock broker called me. “How is it going with you?” Since I wasn’t her client, but knew her and her reputation I asked, “Why in the middle of this chaotic time would you have time to call me?” She said, “Because I care what happens to you.” Touching.

I recently read an article saying 38 people in one day fell off the Forbes 400 list of richest people. It brings to mind how easily we can fall off a financial list, but that’s not what is ultimately important. We are to always remember to rejoice because our name is written in the Lamb’s book of life. That is a permanent list – when your name is there you cannot be removed.

Often during times of loss, particularly financial loss, we totally ignore other people. My friend Ron Ritchie sent this to me during a downturn in his life.

“I spoke to her at the bus stop, but she turned the other way.
My immediate reaction: a rush of resentment.
She’s ignoring me, and really doesn’t like me, I have always suspected it, but now I know.
“Forgive me, I didn’t see you.” (Until then I hadn’t noticed the agony lining her face.)
A hesitant pause, a catch in her voice… “I just came from the doctor’s office.
Our little boy has leukemia. It’s all a terrible nightmare.”
Lord, what loathsome selfishness!
A mother stricken with grief, her heart broken with pain
An hour of black market catastrophe and I thought only of me.
Cleanse me, Lord, sensitize me until my first concern is for others
and my last concern is for me.”

As Christians we need to be reminded, don’t we?

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I react to loss? 2) Who needs a caring word? 3) What has been my greatest loss?

Words of Wisdom: “We are to always remember to rejoice because our name is written in the Lamb’s book of life. That is a permanent list – when your name is there you cannot be removed.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold.” (Proverbs 22:1 NET Bible)

Give Thanks

Weekly Thought – October 18, 2022

Fred and Mary Alice were married for 67 years. On this day 107 years ago she was born in Tennessee. Raised in severe poverty, she always had a dream for a life of meaning centered around her family and faith. She and Fred met in 7th grade English class at Hume Fogg High School in Nashville. They didn’t start dating until after high school when he would wander over to the S. H. Kress store and buy candy from her, the candy counter clerk. By age 21 they married and built a life of dreams and experiences beyond their dreams. They were both always grateful and modeled this for their children.

Give Thanks

On one of my early morning workouts (meaning going out to a local shop for a donut to prepare for Mary Alice’s breakfast at home) I watched a young well-dressed man walk in, sit down next to two truckers, and pull out of gold pen. To their total disinterest, he began a conversation,” How much is this pen worth?” The first trucker said, “Okay, what is it worth? Is it gold?” “Yes, solid gold.” The trucker shrugged, “I still don’t know what it is worth. Why?” “Well, yesterday I signed away everything I owned in this world with the pen. Now I am without anything.” He became frantic and said, “I know what I’ve got to do and I’ve got the courage to do it.” With that he ran out the door.

I went home, sat in my study, and thought about what I would say had I been able. The first thing would be: “List your assets.” He was alive, healthy, free, had business experience. All in the world he didn’t have was money. As I thought about it I realized that what really happens whenever we have a loss is a shadow or cloud is pulled over all our assets and we are unable to see them – the loss is all we can see.

This young man had lost his money and suddenly was unable to see anything else – and was ready to kill himself. He had not developed the discipline of gratitude.

When people come by my office wanting to talk about their problems I try to very early in the conversation get them to list their assets. When I say assets they invariably start to list their financials. They usually fail to consider the spiritual blessings. For example, a man walked in and I said, “What are your assets?” “Well, I have a bank account. There’s not much left in it. I’ve got some equity in my house.” I stopped him and said, “Let’s go deeper. Are you alive?” Of course, he said, “Well, yes.” “You look that way to me and some people consider that high on the asset list, particularly if they are hospitalized, on chemo, or facing their last days in a hospice.” I continued, “You’re healthy? You have a loving wife? Do you have business experience?” After a few, “yeah, I guess so” responses. I knew we were making some progress.

“Now, let’s list your minor assets. These are the ones that can be measured quantitatively.”

If I can break through and get them to feel gratitude, I’ve a real foundation on which to work against their problems. However, if they keep on saying, “Yes, but…” I know we are still stuck. I keep referring them back to their list of assets until I see them get past the loss and beyond the “yes, but.”

When they’re still saying “yes, but,” they are not really grateful. They are wanting something more. Gratitude is being grateful for what you have, not for what you hope to get.

This week think about: 1) How would I start a list of assets? 2) What problems are blocking my ability to be grateful right now? 3) When does “yes, but” stop me from making progress?

Words of Wisdom: “What happens whenever we have a loss is a shadow or cloud is pulled over all our assets and we are unable to see them – the loss is all we can see.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful.” (Colossians 3:15 NET Bible)

You Think about That!

Brenda’s Blog – October 18, 2022

Steve Brown is a Bible teacher from Florida whose well-known tag line when he finishes a radio program or a sermon is always ”Now you think about that.”

A.W. Tozer said, “What you think about when you think about God is the most important thing about you.”
The Bible says, “As a man thinks, so is he.”

Growing up I was encouraged to say “I think” rather than “I feel.” As an adult I now know both are important and each is indicative of particular personality types. We also know our behavior follows thoughts and feelings. Action doesn’t spring out of thin air; it has a solid basis.

Watching college students for years I soon learned what was important to them. It was what they talked about – and especially who they talked about. People in love cannot avoid mentioning the other because the relationship fills their thoughts.

Recently the phrase “top of mind” made the news. That is exactly what it is. We fill our minds with seemingly limitless data, but some of it rises to the top and commands our attention. More than that, it often determines our behavior. Compulsions and premeditated crimes are literally outcomes of “top of mind” obsession.

Our creator knows us and in His design He built in the ability to filter and choose our thoughts. We are given categories on which to focus (e.g. true, honorable, pure, of good reputation, etc.). We are instructed to capture our thoughts and manage what we spend time thinking about.

Dad once told me he came in to say goodnight and I was still awake, sitting on my bed and looking out the window. “Why aren’t you asleep?” “How can anybody sleep when there is so much to think about?” was my answer. Oh, to be that little girl!
It is easy in our media-sated culture to avoid thinking, but how much poorer we are. We were given minds as a fantastic tool. Using them to grow healthy and helpful is a rich opportunity.

Knowing Myself

Weekly Thought – October 4, 2022

Fred prepared for every interaction whether it was a professional consulting appointment, a mentoring breakfast, or a visit with a grandchild. His methodology was asking questions rather than telling. He was a master at crafting questions which led to self-examination and self-discovery. He consistently asked himself questions. This week we will consider a few of them.

Knowing Myself

Relations should be evaluated externally and internally. Striving for excellence in the relation with ourselves is a worthy endeavor. The level we achieve requires the ability to put things into proper perspective. Disciplining ourselves and training ourselves is key. For example, when lonely, a healthy person joins the great writers and thinkers for an exciting evening of reading. When feeling mean, the answer is to associate with philosophers who convince us of our poverty of spirit. When frenzied, we should learn from those who exult in recreation making sure to choose those who know the difference between recreation and dissipation.

A large part of my strategy for “being on good terms with myself” is a personal assessment tool that measures the excellence of our internal relationship. Here are examples:

1) Is my self-respect increasing? Can I identify hollow spots and voids in myself? How am I handling them?
2) Am I content with what I am becoming?
3) Am I willing to be known for who I am rather than an acquired image?
4) Do I have to maneuver my relationships to avoid closeness?
5) Are my relational roots so shallow that they cannot stand adversity? Do I fear alienation from the shallowness?
6) Is power over others the central element in the relationship?
7) Am I trying to buy my way with others, binding them to me with a golden chain?
8) Am I more comfortable with my mortality as I age?
9) Am I developing deeper gratitude, believing that I have nothing but what I have been given?
10) Am I increasingly willing to give before I get?

Knowing and respecting who I am and especially the direction I am taking is a critical part of the maturity process. Stopping to have a conversation with myself assures myself of the proper trajectory.

This week think carefully about: 1) What questions am I asking myself right now? 2) Who do I trust with deep questions about myself? 3) How clear am I on my current direction?

Words of Wisdom: “Striving for excellence in the relation with ourselves is a worthy endeavor.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Therefore consider carefully how you live—not as unwise but as wise,” (Ephesians 5:15 NET Bible)

Say Hey!

Brenda’s Blog – October 4, 2022

“Sorry, he wasn’t heying you – he was talking to me.”

As I walked through the grocery the lady directly in front of me stopped dead in her tracks. She looked around with a puzzled expression. Then a store employee walked out of the office, looked at the customer, and apologized.

Living in Texas for years has accustomed me to “fixin’ to,” “y’all,” and especially “all y’all.” But I wasn’t prepared for “heying you.” It made me think about the different ways we get someone else’s attention. I grew up with “hey, you,” was quite familiar with “youse guys,” but it made me smile to see the relief on the customer’s face when she realized she wasn’t being called.

Then I started thinking about the way we communicate with each other – and particularly the way we get attention. We can wave, wink an eye, or even reach out to connect. We can clear our throats with a not-so-subtle “ahem,” or we can politely offer a “pardon me, please.” It is interesting to sit in public places and watch the male/female dance that starts with a quick glance; perhaps move on to a light smile, then if the signals are right, results in lingering eye contact. No words are spoken, but the message is clear.

As I thought about it more deeply I thought about how God contacts us. How does He get our attention? How do we know He has something to say to us? Theologians talk about general and special revelation: the magnificence of nature is there for all to experience. The awesomeness of the Rockies, the powerful roar of Niagara Falls, or the vast plains with their miles of crops… all are unspoken messages from the God of creation shared with everyone. These are examples of general revelation.

Special revelation is indeed that – special. It is a term that talks about the way God communicates with us through the Bible, His written Word, and through Jesus Christ, the Word made flesh to bring us back into relationship after our genetic father Adam lost our access to heaven. There are no heys, howdies, or youse guys – there is just the powerful message that in the beginning God created; and in the incarnation God recreated.

Glorious! Let’s study the Word, let’s hear Him as we pray, and let’s celebrate the gift of the Lord Jesus Christ. Let’s eagerly share the mystery of the God-man, second person of the Trinity, and Savior. May we be intent on calling to others with the great news of the God who calls us. And may we pray the Holy Spirit is surely “heying” others, bringing them into the Kingdom and into the conversation.