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  • 2018 (Page 5)

Be A Blessing

Weekly Thought – June 19, 2018

Fred spoke to a men’s group and mentioned if his family were aristocratic enough to have a crest it would have Be A Blessing as the motto. A package arrived a few weeks later with a framed, colorful graphic crest bearing symbols representative of Fred’s life and emblazoned with the words Be A Blessing (in English). He always wondered what the Latin would be. If any scholars have the answer I am sure BWF would appreciate adding that to the archives.

Thank you for your continued support. The plans for Asbury University September 21,22 are firming up well. Keep on praying for the team members, the steering committee at Asbury, and the students who will be participating in the What’s Next Roundtable.

Be A Blessing

Our grandson Jeff Horch prepared to leave for Russia to do a video documentary. He said, “Pray for me, Mom.” She answered, “Be a Blessing.” She internalized what Mary Alice and I always wanted for our children – that they find their uniqueness and use it to bless others.

I thought about Dick Halverson’s comment that Jesus didn’t have a day planner, but simply went about doing good. On His way to heal a dead child He stopped for a woman who received healing from a long-term disease simply by touching His garment. We never know how a small blessing will grow. Giant oaks from small acorns grow.

As I remember the story, our friends Cliff and Billie Barrows were stopping in the home of sisters who invited them to go to the church where a young man was preaching. When they got there they needed a song leader and pianist. So, they volunteered to help. The young man preaching was Billy Graham. As association began that night that has influenced the entire world. Those sisters were a blessing.

Again, on a snowy night when the visiting preacher could not get through the storm a layman stood and read scripture to the scant audience. That was the night Charles Haddon Spurgeon made a profession of faith in Christ. A small acorn was planted that night that grew mightily.

If each Christian started the day by praying, “Lord, make me a blessing” what a difference it would make in our world. First, we have to have our lives opened to others; then we have to be looking for opportunities; and finally, we must take action. Good intentions are never enough. Can we be honest enough to ask ourselves every night – have I been a blessing?

(Editor’s note: When the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute developed a mission the purpose became: “Stretching and Blessing the Next Generation of Leaders… to the glory of God.” Fred wanted his epitaph to be “He stretched others” and “Be a Blessing” as a family motto.)

This week think about: 1) Who has been a blessing in my life? 2) When was the last time I said thank you to those who bless me? 3) How have I been intentional in blessing others?

Words of Wisdom: “Giant oaks from small acorns grow.”

Wisdom from the Word: Blessed is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ.” (Ephesians 1:3 NET Bible)

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OTR Lessons

Brenda’s Blog – June 19, 2018

“Physics always wins”

My friend Steve is a professional trucker. I bragged to him I make a point of driving courteously around trucks. “I never pull in front of them on a down-hill grade.” His automatic response was “that’s good because physics always win.” He was telling me that thousands of pounds moving downhill cannot be stopped on a dime because a foolish auto driver decides to pass and pull back in quickly.

Laws of nature apply to all areas of life. There are consequences to our choices. Assuming we can beat the odds is short term thinking. “What you sow, you will reap” is a way of putting it. If we jump out of a plane without a parachute, we will crash… physics wins. Gravity is always the victor.

Another lesson is resistance. Most 18 wheelers have a cab with a wind reduction configuration. The rounded appendage allows the wind to go up and over, decreasing resistance and increasing performance. We need to have strategies to overcome emotional resistance in our lives. What can we do to defeat depression, loss of direction? How can we come back from bad decisions, or moral failures? We need winds of turmoil resistance structures in our lives. We need to build in scripture, Christian friends, good books, and music among other elements which will build up our resistance. We need to establish go-to habits which will cause the attacks of the spiritual winds to pass on over and not cause drag.

Most trucks have lettered signs like 1: “If you can’t see my mirror, I can’t see you.” 2) “This truck makes wide right turns.” These informational warnings help you avoid trouble. They also let you know the driver is aware of his truck. When we really know ourselves we can help others do well around us. Each of us has constructive strengths and destructive weaknesses. When we discover these, we can enable others to “drive safely” on the road with us.

I grumble at them as they rumble by me on the interstates, but I also pray for them for I know they are people working hard to support their families. I laugh when I hear their shower number called for a shower in a Pilot station, but also cheer for them to safely deliver goods across the country. They teach me about perseverance, professionalism, and grit. I will try to give them a wide berth and be a courteous driver as I share the road with them.

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What is a Home?

Weekly Thought – June 12, 2018

Fred enjoyed the mutuality of friendship and the benefits of stimulating thought. He assembled a group for a weekend of conversation – no agenda, just interesting people with the ability to prompt interchange. As a follow-up he asked them to send thoughts, articles, or other correspondence to each of the others. He called them “The twenty-five.” This week’s thought is one of his offerings based on a visit to the new home of a longtime friend.

Fall is coming for the What’s Next Roundtable. Please continue praying for these conversation and connection times with college students in three states. We appreciate your support through encouraging words, prayer, and financial gifts. Thank you for standing with us.

What is a Home?

1. A home is a place to grow older together happily knowing “the best is yet to be.” No “yellowing of the leaves” happening to the leaves of love.

2. There must be a natural place to eat and talk – an atmosphere, not necessarily a designated space.

3. There should be a selection of spots for conversation, both large and small. There should also be an outside place where the greater work of God joins with the handiwork of man giving an extra dimension.

4. If possible, an extra space for guests which they can make their own without interrupting the natural flow of the house. To have a place where guests sleep is good, but giving them a space to read, listen to music, think about the day, and relax in the bathtub.

5. A house should be functional, for after all it is not a display but a happiness factory for those who live in it. It’s basic raison d’etre is utility for people. It exists to provide those who live there the ability to accomplish their goals without inflating their egos to their detriment.

6. A home should be a place where things worth doing occur.

7. A home should have a sense of beauty, no matter what its size. It must appreciate, not depreciate the environment. It must give warmth and comfort showing the beauty of hospitality.

8. A home is not an investment in money alone, but in living. It should never be primarily viewed as a good financial decision. A home should have the quality of a nest with the occupants nestled down for the foreseeable future. It can be a wise financial consideration, but it should always be thought of as the place for family to live and prosper.

9. One practical note: the mortgage should be as small as possible so financial pressures don’t pollute the environment. The full enjoyment of relational growth and connection should be the focus, not the worries of satisfying creditors.

10. A home should represent the cradle of relationships with family, friends, and Christ.

This week think about: 1) How is my home creating and development peace and harmony? 2) What can I do this week to encourage connection in my home? 3) When do I feel most satisfied in my home?

Words of Wisdom: A home is a place to grow older together happily knowing “the best is yet to be.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When Jesus reached the spot, he looked up and said to him, ‘Zacchaeus, come down immediately. I must stay at your house today.’” (Luke 19:22 NET Bible)

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Safe Harbor

Brenda’s Blog – June 5, 2018

“This shows I am a safe place for anyone who needs one.

The foundation executive prepared to address the scholarly group. My associate and I were early to the event and spoke briefly to the speaker. I noticed a large safety pin in his lapel. Not being fully versed on current insignia I asked what it was and why he wore it.

“This lets people know they can trust me and I will provide safety for them in public places.” His answer actually stopped me for a moment. Then I asked, “Where have been identified as safe and what can you do?

“In areas where progressive thought is considered dangerous, I can how them I am a supporter.”

Walking away I was a bit bemused and confused by the need to wear a diaper pin on my jacket denoting my willingness to protect.

Then I started thinking about trust. One of my favorite statements was on the desk of a businessman I knew: “You can trust me to be who I say I will be; you can trust me to do what I say I will do.” At the time I was in sales and this affirmation held great meaning.

What tells others we are safe? What tells others we can be trusted? What does our life represent that speaks of integrity, honesty, and good character?

Our ministry is with college students. Most attend our events initially thinking it will be a waste of their free time. Afterwards we repeatedly hear, “I am so glad I came. I learned so much and I connected with people who want to stretch and bless us.”

Years ago Christians adopted the Ichthus (fish) symbol to communicate “we belong to Jesus.” When others would see the sign they were eager to establish contact and community. Even without the fish, we should live in such a way others see our character and feel safe. Put the pin down and pick up a life befitting honor and trust.

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Intro to Mentor

Weekly Thought – June 5, 2018

Fred was known as a “mentor to a generation of leaders.” Through the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute his legacy of mentoring continues. The “What’s Next Roundtable” focuses on mentoring, networking, and persevering. For the month of June the Weekly Thoughts will shine a light on principles of leadership Fred saw in his mentor, Maxey Jarman. This is Fred’s introduction to the article.

Intro to Mentor

I first met Maxey Jarman back in the mid-thirties when I was about twenty. I had been teaching a Sunday School class in a nurses’ training program at Nashville General Hospital. One of the attendees became an industrial nurse, and she introduced me to her boss, the director of personnel. I said to myself, “I’d like a job like that.” I had no training or experience, but I knew General Shoe (later GENESCO) was one company in town where there might be such a position. So, I decided to meet the President, Maxey Jarman.

Maxey always bought gas at the station next to the plant. I waited until he drove up in his red Chrysler, then walked over and introduced myself. We just shook hands. He probably thought it was very strange, but in his early thirties he was rather shy and not very gregarious.

Mary Alice and I had just married and rented out one of our two bedrooms to a factory worker at General Shoe. She told me of some labor problems at work, and I called Mr. Jarman, offering my viewpoint. He invited me to his office. We had a very short conversation, and I heard no more about it. But he impressed me so much I decided to join the men’s Bible class he taught. They had me lead the singing and eventually elected me president of the class.

One Wednesday night after church in 1941, Maxey invited me to have a Coke at the Rexall Drug. We sat on fountain stools, and he asked me what I planned to do in life. “I’d like to be a personnel man,” I told him. He asked if I had any experience, and I said, “No, I’ve never even seen a personnel department. But I met a guy who’s a personnel man, and I’d like that kind of work.”

That night I told Mary Alice I thought he would offer me a job, and no matter what he offered, I was going to take it because I wanted to be associated with him. I sensed then I wanted to know him and work for him for life. There was something significantly different about this man. Being a preacher’s kid in the poor part of town, I’d become cynical about Christians. But Maxey personified reality. This was so valuable to me at that time…here was a real man, a genuine person; and our years of friendship intensified that evaluation. When he offered me a position in personnel, I was elated.
I had never seen a man so serious about wanting to reach the truth. For forty-three years I wrote my observations of Maxey on scraps of paper, everything from church bulletins to napkins. Last year I compiled them – 500 pages of separate paragraphs. I spent three weeks at our lake house doing little but reading and thinking. When I told him about this, he said, “I’m amazed. What a waste of time!”

This week think about:1) Who has influenced my life like Maxey Jarman impacted Fred? 2) What lessons have I learned from my mentors? 3) How have I studied my mentors and put the lessons into play?

Words of Wisdom: “But Maxey personified reality… here was a real man, a genuine person.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Now give me wisdom and discernment so I can effectively lead this nation. Otherwise no one is able to make judicial decisions for this great nation of yours.” (2 Chronicles 1:10 NET Bible)

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Character Matters

Fred’s library included books on speaking, elocution, and famous orators. He studied style, delivery, and content. As a lifelong learner he focused on clarity in his speaking and writing. He enjoyed tracing philosophical thought through generations, as well.

Character Matters
Browsing through a book flea market, I found a large four hundred fifty page leather bound, gilt-edged volume of “Famous After Dinner Speeches” delivered between 1875 and 1895 in Boston and New York. After digging deeply for the nickel it cost, I took it home and began reading through them.
In those speeches were many issues completely relevant today. As I studied them I saw a common thread: dignity. “A man is honored for what he gives, not for what he gets.”
In this time (1981) I see an attack on this principle. Recent surveys show that the “I am for #1” is the primary motivator. The sale of books on aggression and winning by intimidation regardless of the effect on character have skyrocketed. We are changing our definition of good and evil. That is vital. When we redefine the base as noble, our foundational values are gone. I see this change coming quickly and needs reversing.
When I was a kid among the poor (the socially acceptable phrase is underprivileged, but all we lacked was money – we had everything else, so I prefer to say poor) even the most impoverished had respect for Christian values. We had respect for those with strong character and integrity who didn’t get rich by whatever means were available. The ends definitely did not justify the means.
America operated on Christian principles, even if the population wasn’t scripturally based and “born again.” This is evaporating. The definitions of morality are being redone. I cannot think of anything more critical than understanding the source of definitions and the way we operate.
In business, leadership responsibility is perpetuity, not net profit. Profit is important because it allows for an ongoing institution, but it isn’t the basic principle. It is the responsibility of those privileged to lead to provide for the organization to continue. Inadequate management can wreak havoc on businesses that have provided livelihoods for employees and communities alike. Often it is a lack of character, short-term thinking, and failure to understand their leadership responsibilities.
Effective leadership precedes profit. Revenue is not the goal, but a means to the goal. Chasing money alone weakens an organization and often results in short-term decisions and compromise. It creates an environment which denies the dignity of longevity and perpetuity.
A value structure which has a long-term perspective is an essential part of dignity in business and in personal living. Allowing values to deteriorate into “whatever works” is the way to failure and defeat.

This week think about: 1) Fred saw these trends in 1981. What are you seeing today that concerns you in business, home, church, and community? 2) How are you creating personal habits to live with dignity? 3) Who is a leading influencer in your life?
Words of Wisdom: “Effective leadership precedes profit.”
Wisdom from the Word: “Reuben, you are my firstborn, my might and the beginning of my strength, outstanding in dignity, outstanding in power.” (Genesis 49:3 NET Bible)

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God and America

Weekly Thought – May 22, 2018

Fred understood human nature better than most. He was never shocked because he grasped the depth of our depravity, but also celebrated the heights to which we could soar in the Spirit. He enjoyed thinking about philosophical elements of society. The separation of church and state is an example.

God and America

In their writings, memorials, statues, public utterances, and their deepest thoughts, our founding fathers demonstrated their faith in the Divine. When they advocated the separation of church and state were they being hypocritical? No, I think not. They simply understood it better than we do today. Separation was not to isolate or dwarf either.

We have confused the issue of religion in politics with the theory of separation. These are very different concepts which the media and unknowledgeable, biased people treat as synonymous.

The basic tenet of separation is to keep two major bureaucracies (church and state) from uniting and thereby combining treason and heresy under the same authority. If a person became offensive he could be declared treasonous and if that failed, marked as a heretic. The chance to escape was slight.

The union of church and state refused equal freedom to denominationalism. The elimination of choice between denominations would be extremely unhealthy. Personally, I know and respect a great many of the current religious leaders, but I do not know a single one I would risk handing over leadership for all of Christendom. The dispersion of church leadership is an advantage of denominationalism.

When a human leader has the choice between the visible power of politics with money/power and the invisible power of God, the temptation is great to turn toward the visible which can be controlled, neglecting the invisible which is intended to control him.

Unfortunately, we are seeing a revival of the concept of civil religion. To say that morality comes only from the Christian faith, in my view, is untrue. There is a great need for stronger morality in America. I am grateful for greater depth of our moral fiber. But I believe to say it can only come from Christians is not true.

I appreciate the effort to revitalize America. We need it. However, I am afraid of any group who indicates that when we choose them as leaders we automatically get the exclusive sponsorship of God. Quoting religious platitudes can hardly deliver God to our nation. Who knows if He is through with us, but if He is elections can’t return Him.

It is important that I am searching to be on God’s side, not promising that He is on mine. Am I saying religion (and Christian faith) should not enter into political decisions? Certainly not! To say a man’s convictions should be kept out of any of his decisions is to suggest he become schizophrenic. In seeing the validity of a man’s faith in his political life, we also see the wisdom of not creating a society in which a man could be hanged on the dual horns of treason and heresy.

This week think about: 1) How do I react to Fred’s thoughts on church/state? 2) Why do I participate in the political system? 3) When do I most effectively allow my faith to influence my work, church, family?

Words of Wisdom: “To say a man’s convictions should be kept out of any of his decisions is to suggest he become schizophrenic.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He said to them, ‘Then give to Caesar the things that are Caesar’s, and to God the things that are God’s.’” (Matthew 22:21 NET Bible)

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Through It All

Brenda’s Blog – May 22, 2018

Dad loved Andrea Crouch’s song “Through It All.”

Before the Fred-in-the-Bed group left each Saturday morning, Dad asked them to sing the chorus. We gathered around the piano singing loudly so he could hear from his bed. In his last hours I sat in the hospital room reading to him.

When we finished our daily passage he said quietly, “I’ve learned to trust in Jesus; I’ve learned to trust in God.” He soon lapsed into unconsciousness and those became his last words. Trust in God is more than a devotional subject. It is a declaration of victory at life’s end.

Maturity is not avoiding the rough seas, but knowing we can make it through by trusting God. Perseverance is not gritting our teeth, but seeing the source of strength and attaching ourselves to the Rock in the storm.

Father God, may our final breaths be used to express hope and acclamation. And as we live may our trust continue to grow ever stronger. How we love you and how we worship you as the one worthy of all trust.

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American Musings

Weekly Thought – May 15, 2018

Fred’s early 1980s speeches reflect the depth of his thinking. He always went to the fundamental principles, then fleshed them out with current illustrations. These observations about America reflect the early weeks of Reagan’s administration.

American Musings

We have to think maybe the only real mandate President Reagan got from the people was to replace Jimmy Carter. He was elected, to my observations, not on confidence, but on hope. And hope is such a tenuous political emotion – so often disappointed. The masses knew we needed a change. It is still for this administration to establish that confidence so necessary for a leader if he is going to be truly constructive rather than a poll watcher. Sometimes I think we are getting to be political “poll cats.” Pardon the stinky pun.

Can we think together about what it takes to build confidence on hope’s foundation? America was built by confidence in the founding fathers whom we still revere. They were men who were willing to serve the nation even at a personal sacrifice. Now we have shifted to those who ask to run the country to take power, not to serve it. Those willing to serve were the statesmen while those anxious to serve are the politicians.

We must once again feel America has a destiny – more than survival. Mere survival will not inspire the energy and commitment w need for world leadership. As Faulkner said, “The life worth living does more than survive, it prevails.” When our highest concern is survival then compromise becomes our modus operandus. When communism first threatened the world those who chose survival were represented by the scholar who said, “Better Red than dead.”

Those who refuse to cave in to fear are saying with Solzhenitsyn “Better dead than a scoundrel.” He was willing to put aside risk survival for the life that prevails. He, like Bonhoeffer, was offered survival in exchange for compromise and silence. They both chose excellence over mere existence. Only when life is really worth living is it worth dying for.
I have had some concern that some of our past state department leaders have not believed us as a people capable of leading and therefore adopted compromise.

If the character of our people has weakened, if we have run our course in defense of freedom, and if leisure has become our goal, then compromise is all that is the only option open to us… and that will be for a short time. Compromise is a downward spiral, just as the prevailing attitude draws us upward.

This week think about: 1) How are these 1981 thoughts pertinent to today? 2) What did Fred see that I can apply to my own thinking this week? 3) When do I accept compromise in my work, faith, or family?

Words of Wisdom: “Only when life is really worth living is it worth dying for.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Dear friends, if our conscience does not condemn us, we have confidence in the presence of God.” (1 John 3:21 NET Bible)

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In the Zone

Brenda’s Blog – May 8, 2018

“They have a sweet spot. If you find it, they work just fine.”

My son-in-law fixes Hello, Fresh meals three nights a week at my house while working out of town. I watched him manipulate an old, stubborn pair of scissors to open one of the neatly packaged ingredients. “Don’t you want me to find you another pair that would work better?” “No, I have figured out the sweet spot.”

As he cut across the bag, I thought about his words. Aren’t we like that? Don’t we have people in our lives who seem to be difficult, rusty, and hard to manage? Strangely enough, others seem to have a gift of working with them without tension and resistance. What is the secret? Finding the sweet spot… we all have them.

Gary Chapman wrote about Love Languages decades ago. His premise: each of us has a distinct way of receiving love. He believed most strife in relationships came from the inadequacy of recognizing and operating in the other’s love language. One is “Words of Affirmation.” Another is “Gifts.” And “Acts of Service” makes the list, too. One of our biggest difficulties is discovering the other’s language and not trying to use our own language as a “one size fits all.”

A dear friend definitely values time spent and words of affirmation. Her husband is clearly a gifts and acts of service kinda guy. He spends their weekends washing the car, buying her flowers, and generally believing himself to be extravagantly loving his wife. She longs for time over a cup of coffee, talking, and receiving reassurance of her value. She constantly tries to engage him in “meaningful conversation,” to his frustration. Both head their separate ways on Monday wondering how they missed so badly.

Finding our own sweet spot is key, as well. There are times when I feel like that old pair of scissors, trying so very hard to perform a task, but doing it badly or failing entirely. Oh, but when I am doing something in my giftedness, those blades just whiz through making clean, sharp cuts.

Looking for the sweet spot in others makes life work. Finding my own sweet spot gives my work life.

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