GPS Living

Brenda’s Blog – July 26, 2016

“Proceed on the same route.” “When possible, make a legal U-Turn.”

As I drove thousands of miles during the last eleven days, I obeyed the dulcet tones of my GPS lady. She capably (most of the time) guided me on my way. One morning I heeded her instructions to continue on the path and thought, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful to have a voice which would speak quietly yet confidently into my life like that?”

And when she sensed I was going the wrong way, she chided me while directing a U-Turn!

I spent the next miles thinking about my life and the journey. There were moments when a U-Turn would have been most appropriate – and saved a great deal of time and trouble. But there were many other times when continuing on my road opened doors of opportunity and growth.

What voices gave direction? Wise counselors, loving friends and friends, scriptural imperatives, and inner desires. The “you go, girl!” affirmations were greatly appreciated. But, “you might rethink that decision” comments were equally (most times) regarded.

The need for counsel doesn’t diminish as we age. Sometimes I think it is even more clear. My Dad used to tell me to be careful as I made decisions for we start writing in pencil with a strong eraser, but as we grow older we shift to a pen with no eraser. Translated: “Brenda, you have less and less time to correct mistakes, so be careful.”

I want to keep my eyes and ears open to my GPS network so the journey ends well. I don’t want to dead-end. I will enjoy the “proceed” instructions and heed the “legal U-Turn” warnings. I will look at my life options with a heart and mind of wisdom, knowing my web of counselors will speak truth.

Uncovering the Meaning

Weekly Thought – July 26, 2016

Fred’s ability to distill information into memorable wisdom bites. Most people who knew him quickly remember beneficial phrases. He called them “one-liners.” We now call them “Fred Saids.” This week’s thought features one of those well-known pithy statements: ritual versus reality.

Uncovering the Meaning

I recently had an interesting discussion about ritual versus reality, recognizing ritual was originally established to perpetuate reality. However, we humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away. Theologically, this may be a subtle attempt on our part to put ourselves in control of what is actually divine.

When we do this, we feel free to augment the ritual to please ourselves. This way we can make the ritual so elaborate that it becomes what we would want it to be if we were God… not bearing much resemblance to the sandals and seamless robe exemplified by Jesus.

Often I have asked husbands if they still kiss their wives as they leave for work. Almost indignantly, they will say “yes, of course.” I usually then ask them if they have ever considered the difference between the first kiss on the honeymoon, and the one they now give each morning. The first one was probably a pretty mushy one – even a double dip! The husband might have even thought about calling in sick! Now his wife gets a little peck as he hurries through the door on the way to the car. Occasionally, they may even miss, but at least they tried – and the ritual goes on, while the reality suffers.

Then we ask: “Should vacant ritual be discarded?” Not at all. We need, instead, to return the reality to the ritual.

When I was chairman of the Youth for Christ board I asked a young man why they were trying to destroy the traditions of the church with contemporary music and casual dress. He replied, “Mr. Smith, we are not trying to destroy the traditions of the faith, but we’re not willing to perpetuate them without the experience that created them.”

Excellent answer and well said. Let’s uncover the ritual to discover the reality.

This week think about: 1) What rituals have I bought into and lost the reality? 2) How can I bring more meaning to my daily activities? 3) When does status quo hinder fellowship?

Words of Wisdom: “We humans have a tendency to keep the ritual and let the reality slip away.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be careful not to allow anyone to captivate you through an empty, deceitful philosophy that is according to human traditions and the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.” (Colossians 2:8 NET Bible)

Heroes Help

Weekly Thought – July 19, 2016

Fred’s book You and Your Network outlined 8 categories which belong in your web of associations which form a healthy life. One of them is “heroes.” He frequently asked people about their heroes for he believed the answer gave him great insight. Fred once read that our heroes at age 10 strongly influence our adulthood.

Support for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is greatly appreciated. In these times of confusion and chaos the wisdom of older men and women in the lives of our Christian college students creates stability. Thank you for joining with us in prayer and financial aid.

Heroes Help

Thomas Carlyle said, “Society is founded on hero worship.” History is the story of the impact of great men and women. They shaped their times for good.

But occasionally we need to stop saying great things about our heroes and ask what they would say about us. They can become the verbs in our lives.

Heroes must survive for a long time as examples of trustworthy values, in season, and out. It is not just being a winner today that creates a hero. The apostle Paul deserves hero status. Conversely, I know of very few men who emulate Nero. Today we name our children Paul and our dogs Nero.

Generally, heroes are from the past in order to allow history to study their lives and make sure they stand up to the test of time. Excellent heroes can be said to “finish well.”

We should know how to make ourselves small by comparison to our heroes. By humbling ourselves in this positive, healthy, way we see ourselves in light of the values we inherit from our heroes and are able to honestly assess whether we’re progressing in virtue. It is this discipline that always inspires and makes room for growth.

In “A Psalm of Life,” Henry Wadsworth Longfellow wrote, “Lives of great men all remind us we can make our lives sublime and, departing, leave behind us footprints on the sands of time.” Our daughter, Brenda, knew how I enjoyed these lines. On my study wall is a framed board covered with sand and three small footprints – those of her children then ages one, three, and four. In her quiet, persuasive way she was reminding me my grandchildren’s footsteps are walking somewhat behind my own.

In 2004, my death was momentarily anticipated. In my hospital bed I prayed for my children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, hoping they would see in me a man of faith. Today in 2006 I still pray to be a faithful model. Heroes don’t have to be famous – they only have to be heroic.

Whose footsteps are you following?

This week think about: 1) Who was my hero at age 10? 2) How do I look for heroes? 3) What heroic qualities am I hoping to instill in others?

Words of Wisdom: “Whose footsteps are you following?”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1 NET Bible)

Powerful Triad

Weekly Thought – July 12, 2016

Fred appreciated William Barclay. He taught a very fine Sunday School lesson Barclay wrote. Fred’s love of principles allowed him to take the phrases and then apply current applications. His ability to see truth and create ways to pass it on energized him.

Continue praying for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute as the Fall events come quickly. Lift up Asbury University and Palm Beach Atlantic University – our teams, their faculty, staff, and students. We go in the name of Jesus and eagerly anticipate the work He gives us to do.

Powerful Triad

“Lord, grant us in our work, satisfaction; in our leisure, pleasure; in our study, wisdom; and in our love, loyalty.” Years ago while reading, I discovered William Barclay’s prayer. I was so impressed with the balance of life he described that I easily memorized it. Through the years I have repeated it to myself many times and twice I have taught it as a Sunday School lesson. The first time I only taught the four requests. Later, I realized I had missed the significance of the three opening words.

“Lord” – One of the major theological questions today is whether Christ can be Savior without being Lord. George Gallup did a survey among the “born again” and found that only 10 percent considered their faith in daily decision making. He wrote a book titled The Saints Among Us, indicating that 90 percent of us are nominal Christians.

“Grant” – This reminds us all good and perfect gifts come from above. We have no demands on God, only requests. Again, the Bible tells us we have nothing but what we have received of God.

“Us” – This reminds us Christianity is a community, a Body, a family. It is not just an individual experience. It is not like the pine tree that can grow by itself. It is like the redwood that grows in a cluster with all of the roots supporting the others.

Gert Behanna was born and raised in the old Waldorf Astoria amid amazing wealth. After spending much of her life wedded to a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol, she became a Christian. When she prayed “Our Father” she realized she was a member of a family and gave much of her wealth to needy Christians whom she considered brothers and sisters.

“Lord, grant us…” A triad of infinite significance.

This week consider: 1) How can I apply that triad in my life this week? 2) What is God doing in me that shows me who He is? 3) Where am I plugged into the community of faith?

Words of Wisdom: “Again, the Bible tells us we have nothing but what we have received of God.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For who concedes you any superiority? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you received it, why do you boast as though you did not?” (1 Corinthians 4:7 NET Bible)

Leadership Cleanliness

Brenda’s Blog – July 12, 2016

“Leaders are not Litterers”

The billboard in Semmes, AL promoted a clean environment. A Baptist with a love for alliteration must have developed the campaign!

I started thinking about the sentiment. Other than picking up casually tossed candy wrappers, and correctly depositing empty soda cans, what is it about leadership that creates a non-litterer?

Then, I started down my usual rabbit trails. What kinds of litter do leaders clean up? How about mental junk? “Garbage in, garbage out” is an axiom leaders learn well. The well-disciplined mind keeps unworthy distractions at bay.

How about time wasters? Strong leaders know how to use bits of time to their advantage and eliminate the little time grabbers that beg for five minutes and end up taking thirty. Stewardship of time, as well as treasure, is important.

Then I thought about the expectations of others which put demands on our lives. How often we find ourselves littered with “shoulds and woulds” that are not ours at all – but belong to others. This trash hangs around us bogging us down and often keeping us from winning the race.

Finally, I thought about the wasted emotions of bitterness, unforgiveness, and jealousy. How foolish to clutter our minds and hearts with senseless and unhealthy emotions. How can we run free with baggage from the past hanging from arms and legs?

This exercise got me into Mobile where I immediately got lost (again), so my attention was diverted to finding Interstate 10. The next time I am through Semmes I will notice the immaculate streets and rejoice in the leadership quotient of that lovely town.

Protected By Love

Weekly Thought – July 5, 2016

Fred liked to quote C. S. Lewis’ definition of love: wanting the best for another. He recognized the sacrificial nature when making this decision. He used to say he wasn’t very “oooky gooky” (yes, believe it or not – he used those words) about feelings, but he was outstanding in showing love.

Please continue to pray for our Christian colleges and universities. They are under tremendous pressure to step away from foundational beliefs. Hold them up! And as BWFLI plans for the fall events, your prayer support is greatly appreciated.

Protected By Love

I served on a corporate board with a strong Christian lady who testified she grew up with friends who lived “on the wild side.” Her sister advised her to avoid dangerous behavior, fearing what her father would do to her. She responded, “I am not choosing against immorality because I’m afraid of what he will do to me. But I am choosing because of what it would do to him. I know he truly loves me.”

Another friend told how her mother died when she was a young child. Her relatives told her how much her mother regretted that she wouldn’t live to see her daughter grow up. They also told her that her mother lived in heaven and could see everything she did. Not wanting to disappoint her mother, this woman lived an almost exemplary life. She feared not living up to her mother’s love. Children who feel loved are less likely to get into serious trouble.

Couples living together without marriage will say, “It’s nobody’s business what two consenting adults do.” This might be true if no one else loved either one of them, but that is rarely the case. Such couples are not living up to the responsibility of being loved.

I once went to Europe with a nonbelieving business associate I respected to be a philanderer. But during the entire trip he only talked of his wife and their love for each other After attending a concert at La Scala, his only remark was, “I wish she were here.” His response to her love became his strength.

I have observed that those individuals who feel Christ’s love are eager to obey His commandments. In Scripture it says, “If you love me, you will obey my commandments.” It isn’t in obedience that we know Him but we observe His commandments because we know Him and His love. It is our joy.

This week think about: 1) What does being love mean to me? 2) How do I handle the responsibility of being loved? 3) Who needs to know I love them?

Words of Wisdom: “His response to her love became his strength.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For this is the gospel message that you have heard from the beginning: that we should love one another.” (1 John 3:11 NET Bible)