Do The Right Thing

Weekly Thought – September 22, 2015

Fred was once told he “didn’t understand how things are done” when he took an ethical stand requiring personal loss. Still, he held his position. He wasn’t a Don Quixote who jousted at windmills – he didn’t “take on” issues for the sake of crusading. He did, however, dig in when it came to an ethical posture, despite what the culture expected.

Do The Right Thing

The integrity of a leader often is shown in the stand he/she takes for right against mistaken popular concepts. This isn’t done to be difficult, or different, but daring to be right, avoiding the temptation to jump into the downstream flow. Christian leaders search for the biblical right and wrong in each issue.

The author Chaim Potok said a true leader is never absorbed in the stream in which he swims. Scripture would say this leader is transformed, not conformed.

Our society is facing many positions that need biblical challenge and clarification. For example, relativism, alternative lifestyles, personal responsibility versus rights, acquisition and distribution of wealth, racial reconciliation, political expediency, self-love, and the power of peer pressure.

Values and ethics have become a hot subject almost to the point of being a cultural fad. Think tanks embrace the topic; philanthropists contribute great sums for research; universities endow chairs to study the subject; and writers produce piles of best-selling volumes. However, they generally ignore the biblical imperatives, leaving the study to
human behavior.

At a Norman Vincent Peale conference on “values-based leadership,” I listened to top experts discuss the topic. I had no disagreement with their illustrations and points. However, when I spoke, I told the audience we need to root our human values in divine virtues. If we do not put down deep biblical roots, we end up controlled by our human desires which are variable due to our selfish interests.

True authenticity requires an ethical system founded in biblical virtues which have not been humanly manufactured, but discovered because they were given by God. Our authority needs to come from outside ourselves.

Newton did not create the law of gravity – he observed and codified it. Just so, we cannot create true virtue – but only discover it and make it the foundation for our values.

This week consider: 1) How are my values influenced by the culture? 2) What challenges my ethics in my work, in my home? 3) When does my thinking get fuzzy about biblical values?

Words of Wisdom: “If we do not put down deep biblical roots, we end up controlled by our human desires which are variable due to our selfish interests.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I have given them your word, and the world has hated them, because they do not belong to the world just as I do not belong to the world.” (John 17:14 NET Bible)

Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Summary)

Weekly Thought – September 15, 2015

Fred outlined his Imperatives for Effective Speaking. This week we summarize the series. This Weekly Thought is longer than normal, but definitely a “keeper.” This was previously released, but it remains helpful to keep handy.
Thank you for your feedback and the practical applications of his work. And as always, thank you for your faithful encouragement and support.

Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Summary)

Speaking to an audience is an awesome responsibility. The following points are touchstones for me.

1) Ready Your Attitude – Attitude colors every word, every gesture, and body movement. Anyone who feels the audience is fortunate in having them speak is prostituting the opportunity.

2) Your Material – A speaker’s self-respect and sense of responsibility should start with content. If there is no content, there is no reason to speak. Preparation is the price we pay for the privilege of speaking.

3) Be believable – If the audience believes the messenger, it is easier to believe the message. A truth that is not believed is useless. Ask yourself: “Can I make this truth believable?” If not, then wait to express it until you can.

4) Focus on the Audience – Always speak to the audience about a subject, not about a subject to an audience. The audience is the focal point. Know their felt needs and desires before you lead them to their real needs.

5) Create a personal touch – Personal communication is like a conversation eyeball to eyeball. This creates the feeling that I know you and you know me. Good communication is more than a function; it is a relationship. To be effective, it must be personal.

6) Create an enjoyable atmosphere – Take your subject seriously, but not yourself. Let people join in the enjoyment with you. Make sure it is more than entertaining – make it profitable. To be enjoyable, both the emotions and the mind must be stimulated.

7) Maintain human quality – Demagogues and con men sound like messiahs. They lack the reality of integrity. Respect others’ intellectual integrity by speaking person to person. Humor is a humanizer.

8) Utilize basic presentation skills: a) fire in the voice; b) develop good rhythm and cadence; c) adjust the pace of ideas and words; d) use a sincere tone; e) enunciate clearly; f) avoid affectations; g) use appropriate volumes for subject matter and size of the audience; h) practice natural gestures; i) choose words suitable for the subject; j) maintain continuity between words and subject.

9) Communicate with purpose – Before you try to communicate, determine what you want to happen at the close. I want to change or solidify attitudes into convictions and positively affect behavior.

10) Speak with power – When we speak for God, we should speak or communicate God’s message for God’s glory, not our own. The Spirit must convince; we can only be present. When we desire to be empowered we must have as pure a motive as humanly possible.

11) Pray before speaking – Prayer should be an ingredient of the preparation, not a sauce poured over it. If you have prayed adequately before speaking you won’t need to ask the audience to pray for you while you speak. They should be listening. Prayer helps me to exclude the extraneous – the ego licks, the hidden agenda items, and the subtle kicks.

12) Learn the sacredness of brevity – “Lord, fill my mouth with worthwhile stuff, and nudge me when I’ve said enough.” Never go beyond the allotted time. Don’t satisfy them so much they’ll never want to hear you again.

This week think about: 1) Which point jumps off the page? 2) How am I going to implement these imperatives? 3) When am I going to email BWF and tell them how I am using this material?

Words of Wisdom: “Speaking to an audience is an awesome responsibility.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The speech of the righteous bears the fruit of wisdom.” (Proverbs 10:31a – NET Bible)

Miles To Go

blog-51-miles-to-go

Brenda’s Blog- September 8, 2015

“And miles to go before I sleep; and miles to go before I sleep.” – Robert Frost

Frost’ poem, Stopping by Woods on a Snowing Evening is one of America’s favorites. The imagery stimulates our imagination. The poignant words evoke a variety of emotions.

Of course, reflection on the road not taken has been translated by Scott Peck into “the road less traveled.” Sermons, commencement addresses, pre-game pep talks, and parental admonitions have all alluded to the opportunities of life and making good choices.

But is the road not taken always a negative? I think not. Certainly not as poetic, but surely as true is the title of the country western ballad, “Thank God For Unanswered Prayer.” The road not taken and the prayer unanswered can be a source of tremendous gratitude.

One of the distinct advantages of quickly approaching the 3/4 century mark is reflection. Remembering choices, good and bad; reliving experiences, good and bad; rehashing conversations, good and bad – all part of the reflective process. Usually my conclusion is gratitude for those roads I didn’t take and for those prayers God answered with a “no.”

Seeing His hand of protection when my senses took a temporary vacation humbles me. When I recognize the learning through difficulties and problems I am grateful growth is a process.

Walks through woods on snowy evenings are rare in East Texas, but we can still enjoy the solitude of pine trees, white-tipped or not. Looking up at the trees puts life into perspective. Musing about what they have seen, give me a longer view. The music of the trees would thrill Sondheim.

Many times I have quoted the “miles to go” with a sigh and a shrug. Today I realize what a gift those miles are. The experiences they represent will provide fodder for future reflection. Undoubtedly those miles will include some missteps, but they will also allow for unspeakable joys. I am thankful that there are miles to go before that last sleep. And I am most appreciative for those roads not taken.

Get It Done People – Part Four

Weekly Thought – September 8, 2015

Fred overachieved when thinking. Give him a thought and he would chase it down roads totally unknown to the civilized world. He once started thinking about words to hymns and made a list of hundreds. And, on a sleepless night he remembered the punch lines to 200 jokes. When asked to give 12 principles for high impact living, he finally ran out of paper well into the 40s. This week we complete a four week excursion into the wilds of Fred’s thoughts on this subject. There are scribbles in the margins of these pages, but we will stop with these 40. Parts 1-3 are available at breakfastwithfred.com in the Weekly Thought archives.

Thank you for believing in our work and telling us stories of being stretched by Fred’s thoughts. Continue to pray and when possible, help us financially to keep the website and the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute strong.

Get It Done People – Part Four

High Impact People:

31) Use money as a means, not an end. They know that money is option and they see it as a tool, not an idol. They know how to avoid the “is this all there is?” trap.

32) Unite joy and accomplishment – I wrote a section of my first book (the great undiscovered classic You and Your Network) on “Joy for the Journey.” Work is part of God’s blessing. Accomplishment and achievement bring a sense of purpose and well-being.

33) Emphasize responsibilities, not rights – responsibilities laminate – that is, bring people together; rights divide.

34) Properly define pleasure – There is a misconception that life should be serious and any hint of pleasure is the sure road to hedonism. Baloney! Eric Liddell gives a clear definition when he says, “When I run, I feel God’s pleasure.” Pleasure is the emotion of living life in the sweet spot.

35) Recognize reality versus image – we live in a world weary of words and longing for authenticity. Too many who adopt the “fake it ‘til you make it” mindset end up perpetually faking it and never making it.

36) Celebrate – one of my dear friends, Jack Modesett, likes to ask about goal accomplishment by saying, “How will we know when it is time to celebrate?” It is important to celebrate steps along the way to the big mile marker. And joining others in the recognition of accomplishment is key.

37) Understand the difference between character and intelligence – I have rarely seen a gifted person fail because they lacked training, or even intelligence. By far, the majority of failures come because of character flaws. Check the plumb lines to make sure the character is aligned.

38) Create an environment of encouragement – they know how to make others see their gifts, use them, and feel good about themselves.

39) Make long term goals – instant gratification isn’t a hallmark of high impact people. A young man told me recently his idea of long term planning was lunch the next day. That man has much to learn!

40) Aren’t surprised at the price tag for success – I once told a woman who complained about her executive husband’s hours: “Madam, you want the earnings of a racehorse and the placidity of a mule.” There are no shortcuts.

This week consider: 1) Out of the 40 principles, which one grabbed me? 2) How much do I want a high impact life? 3) What am I willing to do to fulfill my potential?

Words of Wisdom: “Madam, you can’t have the earnings of a racehorse and the placidity of a mule.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For the love of money is the root of all evils. Some people in reaching for it have strayed from the faith and stabbed themselves with many pains.” (1 Timothy 6:10 NET Bible)

Get It Done People – Part Three

Weekly Thought – September 1, 2015

Fred was born September 1, 2015. His Mother was his guiding light. She taught him the value of ideas and their ability to affect outcomes. The limits placed on him through physical disabilities and economic lack did not dampen his dreams. The little boy who listened to the world on his crystal radio in the attic became a man who stretched others. We continue with his principles for high impact living. Parts one and two can be accessed at www.breakfastwithfred.com in the Weekly Thought archives or on www.bwfli.com

On this day when Fred would have been 100 years, please tell someone else about the website and the Weekly Thoughts. Help us expand his reach and deepen the impact.

Get It Done People – Part Three

High Impact People:

21) Vision of success – They have a picture of who they want to be and what they want to do. They understand the old Chinese proverb: “If you vision is one year, plant wheat; the years, plant a tree; and 100 years, plant people.”

22) Associate with the Best – Be the smallest fish in the biggest pond. Always put yourself in the arena with stronger players. And remember to associate for growth and development, not social climbing.

23) Travel – Expand your view of culture and cultures. Take calculated risks and enjoy challenging experiences.

24) Read – My friend Charlie “Tremendous” Jones says, “Except for the people you meet and the books you read, you will be the same person in five years as you are today.” The old axiom, “leaders are readers” still holds true. But, be discerning. Read in your areas of development. And don’t feel like you have to read something just because somebody recommends it, or sends it to you. Don’t just read what you agree with – let others challenge you.

25) Write – My mentor Maxey Jarman demanded written solutions to any problems I could recognize. He reminded me that thoughts untangle as they pass through the mind and out through the point of the pencil. Writing clarifies.

26) Are Respected by Others – International developer Trammel Crow said, “I only want executives that others want to see succeed.”

27) Pick the right mentor – Never accept a volunteer mentor. Understand the principles of a mentoring relationship. Know what the responsibilities of the mentor and the mentoree.

28) Demonstrate humility – My favorite definition of humility is: “Humility is not denying the power you have but admitting it comes through you, not from you.” Meekness is harnessed strength, not weakness.

29) Operate ethically – One of my friends had a plaque on his desk which read: “You can count on me to be who I say I will be and do what I say I will do.” Nick Moore of Price Waterhouse Coopers put it this way: “It is important to know what you stand for and what you won’t stand for!”

30) Follow Jim Collins’ Good to Great model – “Have the wrong people off the bus, the right people on, and the right people doing the right things.”

This week think about: 1) Which of these strikes me the hardest? 2) Where am I influencing others? 3) Who could benefit from Fred’s wisdom this week?

Words of Wisdom: “Humility is not denying the power but admitting it comes through you and not from you.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11: 2 NET Bible)