Weekly Thought – December 31, 2024
Fred “broke out in hives” (as he would say) when being manipulated. He highly regarded his good friend Zig Ziglar whose healthy motivation helped hundreds of thousands during Zig’s lifetime. Those who “worked others over to get their own way” received no applause from Fred.
Walking the Fine Line
We all agree motivation is good and manipulation is bad. But sometimes only a fine line separates the two, and it’s difficult to always know which side you’re on. The issues aren’t always clear-cut – what may be a legitimate case of motivation in one situation could, with a different intent, be manipulation.
For example, Mary Alice hid eggplant in a casserole to introduce it to me knowing I said I would never eat it. I complimented her dinner preparation: “This new dish is really good. What is it?” When she told me I had to decide if I was being motivated, or manipulated. Her motivation was a key factor. And besides, it really was good!
A psychiatrist friend chided me one night by saying, “You businessmen mistake manipulation for motivation. The difference is you can substitute the word ‘Thirst’ for motivation, but not for manipulation.” He was saying unless you are satisfying someone’s thirst, you are probably on the wrong side of the line. I can motivate with integrity because I am bringing to consciousness a genuine thirst.
I was motivated in my appreciation of Dixieland music, for example by Senator S.I. Hayakawa. He was an absolute authority. During one evening we began a discussion about the subtleties. He played on my intellectual interest to attract me to Dixieland. Later I realized that he, an excellent teacher and semanticist, had instilled a deeper interest.
At no time during our conversation did he expect my compliments on his teaching skills. He never said, “I’m going to try to intrigue you.” He simply intrigued me. He saw the thirst. He motivated and enlivened an interest I already had. He deepened it.
This week consider: 1) How clear am I on the distinction between motivation and manipulation? 2) Who has recognized thirst in me and motivated me to grow? 3) When am I tempted to slide into manipulation?
Words of Wisdom: “I can motivate with integrity because I am bringing to consciousness a genuine thirst.”
Wisdom from the Word: “Take note of the one who has integrity. Observe the upright. For the one who promotes peace has a future.” (Psalm 37:37 NET Bible)