Brenda’s Blog – January 30, 2024
“Learn to live with ugly for awhile.”
The local master gardener posted an article with advice for post-extreme cold gardening. “People assume the low temperatures have killed all their outdoor plantings. They immediately cut them all down. But wait – not until the thaw and warmer temperatures come can a true evaluation be made. It may take time and you must “learn to live with ugly.”
Plants that are traumatized by extreme cold aren’t the only examples of this principles, are they? What about other losses? What about critical experiences?
The temptation to run, hide, and emotionally detach is like the gardener who wants to immediately purge the beds of the dead plants. We have an automatic desire to take action – to do something. But wisdom says, “Wait, trust, assess, and ‘learn to live with ugly.’”
In financial services we always counseled clients undergoing a life change to avoid major decisions for at least two years. Bill Lawrence, founder of Leader Formation International, seminary professor, and eminent Bible teacher gave me an acronym which has served me well for over 30 years. Bill said, “Before making a significant decision HALT!” He went on to explain: “Never make a life altering decision when you are Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired.” Before action, take time to consider all the facts. Emotional decisions can carry a high price tag.
We need to give circumstances to clear up. And until that time we just “learn to live with the ugly.”