Weekly Thought – September 19, 2023

Fred wrote about his preparation for the memorial service of a good friend’s adult son. In his thinking he stated that attendees can be observers or participants. He chose to be engaged emotionally, mentally, and spiritually – he opted to participate, not just sit as a social courtesy or an objective onlooker.

Lessons From Death

Preparation for the memorial service of a dear friend’s son was taking the time to think about the lessons of dying. I jotted down 10 “I believe” statements creating a catechism taught by death. This is not a theological treatise, but a framework for my own contemplation.

1. I believe in eternity. My friend’s son is somewhere. He has not simply ceased to exist. My father, mother, sister, and brothers are in a place, as well – for eternity. And where they are they are free from death. The last enemy has been conquered for them.

2. I believe in justification through faith in Christ. I know of no one who has lived so purely to merit heaven. It is a gift.

3. I believe death is our enemy. It can deeply hurt us, but it cannot destroy us.

4. I believe in the Comforter for I have received, now and in the past, comfort and the peace that passes all understanding. Furthermore, I have the testimony of truthful friends who have also been recipients of this comfort and peace. Even in the chaos of grief I feel order.

5. I believe in the healing power of tears. They wash clean like a spiritual detergent. If Christ cried at death, so may I.

6. I believe good can come from hurt – even a hurt this deep. Death can be turned to life by the power of God.

7. I believe this night will eventually end – I know it by faith in His promises and by past experiences.

8. I believe the dead in Christ will be reunited… otherwise I see no sense to life and if it is not so “we are of all men most miserable.”

9. I believe this life is the practice; the real game comes in eternity. Some players just leave the field earlier than others.

10. I believe death comes by process – sometimes our smallest decisions have the greatest impact.

The hope of heaven is that we will know even as we have been known. We will see through clear glass without the haze of our earthly eyes. We will be home and at home, in spirit and in truth. The enemy will be defeated and death will be put under everlastingly.

This week carefully consider: 1) How often do I mentally and spiritually prepare to attend a memorial service? 2) What do I think about death – or do I think about death? 3) How do I experience the hope of heaven at the death of friends or family?

Words of Wisdom: “We will be home and at home, in spirit and in truth.”

Wisdom from the Word: “He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death will not exist anymore – or mourning, or crying, or pain, for the former things have ceased to exist.” (Revelation 21:4 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 20, 2019

Fred closed his earthly chapters on August 17, 2007 at 9:15am in Dallas, TX. His daughters stood by his bed watching the heart monitor show the declining rate. At the last moment physical life ended but his spiritual life continued on. The thought this week is a retelling of Fred’s own story of his life theme. Our prayer at BWF is for your hearts and minds to be strengthened and stretched.

He Stretched Others

I was once asked at age 69 what was next for me. “What direction do you want to take as you head into your 70s?” “What new things do you want to do with your life?” The interviewer challenged me to set out my goals for the next 10 years. I don’t think she expected my response.

“My direction is the one that has fueled me since my late twenties.”

I grew up in the mill district of North Nashville. The advantages of social position, money, and upward movement weren’t mine. But I knew instinctively I had a purpose. I analyzed my gifts; I studied my motivations; and I went to a cemetery. Yes, I went to a cemetery, sat on a tombstone, and considered what I wanted on my headstone. As I sat there I said, “One day I will be under the stone and this is what I want marking my life.”

Strongly influenced by the power of brevity by Western Union telegrams I settled on three words: “He Stretched Others.”
Those three words became the aim in my life. That is why I mentor, teach, talk, and write. It is sheer joy to see someone stretched, even if it makes them a bit uncomfortable. When I see someone with talent who is way too comfortable, I do my best to unsettle them. I probe, prod, and often put a burr under their saddle.

But I never do this if they do not have the capability to stretch. I never challenge a man with one leg to become a long-distance runner. I am careful in my coaching to not talk to people about things which they clearly cannot do. That is unkind.

But almost all of us can stretch way beyond where we are. We settle for so little when so much is possible. I express my belief in them and then they believe.

So, my goals for the next ten years (or however much time God gives me), I will continue in my desire to stretch others. I think God intended me to do this. This is my sweet spot.

(Editor’s note: Fred is buried at Restland Cemetery in Dallas, TX under a headstone with three words: He Stretched Others next to Mary Alice.)

This week think about: 1) What do I want for my epitaph? 2) What do I think God intended me to do? 3) How can I encourage growth in others?

Words of Wisdom: “We settle for so little when so much is possible.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I have had great joy and encouragement because of your love, for the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you, brother.” (Philemon 1:7 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – August 1, 2017

Fred’s use of “I am convinced” evoked confidence. His children were sure whatever followed those words were bedrock truth. He often took subjects and outlined his beliefs. In preparation for the memorial service honoring the life of a friend’s son, he laid out what death taught. At the end of the list he made a final comment to his secretary Margie Keith before she typed the material: “I believe” should be changed to “I know.” Fred was convinced.

Be looking for details on the BWFLI Mentoring Roundtable. This new initiative will help our Christian schools develop “what’s next” strategies.

Death’s Lessons

Death congeals my beliefs:

1) I believe in eternity. We don’t simply cease to exist; we go somewhere. My father, mother, and sister are somewhere called eternity. And where they are, they are free from death. The last enemy has been conquered.

2) I believe in justification through faith in Christ. I know of no one who has lived so purely in this time frame to merit eternal life. It is a gift.

3) I believe death is our enemy. It can hurt us, but not devastate us.

4) I believe in the Comforter. I have experienced the comfort and peace that passes understanding. Furthermore, I have the testimony of truthful friends who have this same experience. I feel order even in this chaos.

5) I believe in the healing power of tears. Tears wash clean like a spiritual detergent.

6) I believe good can come from hurt – even a hurt this deep. Death can be turned to life through the power of God.

7) I know this long, dark night will eventually end. I know it both by faith in His promise and through past experience.

8) I believe the dead in Christ will be reunited. I believe in the hope of joining together in heaven otherwise we would grieve “as those without hope.”

9) I believe this life is the practice and the true game comes in eternity – some leave the practice field early.

10) I believe those who die “now know as they are known.” To me, that is the most exciting part about death. Just to know what has only been seen through a glass dimly is the hope of earth and joy of heaven.

This week think about: 1) What do I believe about death? 2) How clear am I on the Christian’s afterlife? 3) Who needs me to encourage them with the hope of heaven?

Words of Wisdom: “I believe should be changed to I know.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor heavenly rulers, nor things that are present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Romans 8: 38,39 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – July 25, 2017

Fred’s longtime friend Dr. Haddon Robinson entered heaven days ago. Strangely, the material slated for today’s email was a response to the death of a dear friend’s young son. His thoughts as he sat waiting for the memorial service to begin help us all think about the way we consider death.

Your messages to us this summer about the value of our BWFLI Prayer Network encourage us.

What We Learn From Death

A young adult was being wheeled down the hospital corridor toward the operating room from which few thought he would return alive. He knew the prognosis as well as they. Nearing the door he turned to a friend and said, “What I have believed I now know.” Before this experience he could only conjecture. Now, faced with death, he knew that which he had believed was true.

As I sit here waiting for the memorial service I am thinking about the boy’s death and his parents. I think about how I will face the service. His death has gotten to me so much more than others. Why, I am not sure. However, of this I am sure: I must prepare myself for the service. I see two alternatives: Either as an observer or a participant. I could possibly be a mixture of both, but then I would never really be either.

There are three types of observers: 1) the curious onlooker who is solely satisfying his personal curiosity about a morbid subject – death; 2) the social observer satisfying the expectations of friends and relations that he be there with them in body if not in spirit; 3) A reporter-observer helping others understand and see through another’s eyes – a helpful, but less than noble motive. An observer of either any of these types would have to steel himself to the reality of death as a personal affair.

I have chosen, really without option, to be a participant. As a participant I cannot steel my emotions but must accept my individual vulnerability for his death is part of me – the bells are truly tolling for me and I must accept each pain and consequently deal with the total agony. I am hurt by this death. I am touched by his family’s grief, and I weep with the friends who weep. There will be a small group of those well-meaning escapists who will pronounce death a celebration and while I respect them I will not be participating with them. For now I must grieve for the day comes only after the night. I know “we grieve not as those who have no hope,” but we do grieve as those who have hope, but now hurt.

I share in the reality of death, not whitewashing, spiritualizing, or avoiding. I participate in this service by acknowledging my own mortality and the consequences of sin. But I participate by sharing in the truth of the Gospel for this family today – and everyone other one of us. Our time will come.

Please think about this: 1) How do I handle death? 2) When I consider my own mortality how do my priorities change? 3) Who needs my word of hope right now?

Words of Wisdom: “Before this experience he could only conjecture. Now, faced with death, he knew that which he had believed was true.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When David was close to death, he told Solomon his son: “I am about to die. Be strong and become a man! Do the job the LORD your God has assigned you by following his instructions and obeying his rules, commandments, regulations, and laws as written in the law of Moses. Then you will succeed in all you do and seek to accomplish.”” (1 Kings 2: 1-3 NET Bible)