Brenda’s Blog – February 11, 2025
A prominent cell service provider ran an advertising campaign with the tag line: “Can you hear me now?” The purpose was to address the problem of limited coverage and aggravating dropped calls. In the ads, one actor moves from place to place repeatedly voicing the familiar inquiry. It became part of the cultural linguistic vocabulary.
The art of effective questioning intrigues me. Sales training emphasizes the rules: ask open ended questions, never ask one with a simple yes or no answer, listen to the other person looking for conversational cues, and of course – be interested in the other person.
The confirmation hearings held by the US Senate this week brought that probing question to mind. However, the answer was quite different. There was very little (in fact, practically no) listening to evoke substantive answers. It was an exercise in noise and dominance. What a pity! This was an opportunity to probe experience and vision… to “take the measure of the man or woman.” However, hearing quickly became a misnomer for the event.
My Dad enjoyed a reputation for his expertise in asking questions which would lead to productive conversation. I always wanted to mine his expertise and perhaps develop this skill. “Talk to me about questions.” “Brenda, it is both an art and a science. Too many focus on the formulas and hone their science skills while ignoring the art.” “Dad, what is the key to asking a productive question?” “You simply ask a question the other person wants to answer.”
That really piqued my interest. I was sure the next words would change my life. “Well, you just do… that is the art.” Years have gone by since that brief exchange, but it stays with me. It becomes a mental exercise each time I am meeting new people or spending time with those I want to know better.
The goal of listening and hearing are critical for those who want to expand their expertise in asking questions which move relationships, open business opportunities, and further academic pursuits. Think: “ask a question they want to answer” and see what fun you can have. Listen and find out how much easier it is to be heard.