Weekly Thought – January 31, 2023
Fred paced himself. He understood his rhythms: body, soul, and spirit and operated within their constraints. This allowed him a sense of adequacy in all areas of his life. This kept him from handing personal power to others. Think about these excerpts from a “someday a book” manuscript.
Adequacy is the Goal
A critical element in adequacy is taking control of your life. A woman came up to me recently after a talk to tell me she was bored. She clarified it wasn’t my talk, but just her life experiences.
I asked her, “how much control do you exercise over your life?” “Well, she said, I don’t need to do that. My life is very convenient – I am well taken care of financially, therefore I don’t need control.” My thought as she spoke “We all need control if we want to feel adequate. When we do not take control, we feel passive. With control we feel active, and alive.”
A friend who recently sold his company called to tell me, “Fred, I’ve sold my business and I am definitely going through those pains of questioning what I am going to do. I am only 50, made a lot of money on the sale, but am puzzled about the next step.”
“Well, while you are deciding be sure to put some kind of personal program into effect that produces activity and accomplishment. You are going to miss the sense of productivity. You are going to need the feeling of adequacy you had in business. Do it in your personal life.”
He was considerably overweight. We talked about two or three options for slimming down. Yes, “Fat Fred” was giving him counsel! I didn’t see him for several months and when I did I didn’t recognize me. He lost 60 pounds, was playing tennis and golf – and regained his self-respect. He knows he can’t do this alone for the rest of his life, but it was a strategy that got him moving. Self-respect fostered his sense of adequacy. Knowing how to establish and control his sense of achievement proved helpful for him.
If emotionally wired for it, the fast lane is exhilarating and creates energy, but putting a life into overdrive can result in chaos – and often crashes. Teaching our children to drive was a parental responsibility I accepted, reluctantly driving up and down the hills of Indian Hill with their inadequacies on display. “You are overdriving the road,” I would helpfully comment. Getting the keys to my Austin-Healey 3000 or Jaguar sedan was the goal of proven road adequacy, but it also tempted them to let the car’s potential and performance get ahead of their competency. When they learned to drive with control they learned true adequacy.
This week think about: 1) How do I define accomplishment in my life? 2) What is the area of my strongest achievement? 3) What plan do I have for staying productive in times of life change?
Words of Wisdom: “Knowing how to establish and control his sense of achievement proved helpful for him.”
Wisdom from the Word: “On every mission on which Saul sent him, David achieved success. So Saul appointed him over the men of war. This pleased not only all the army, but also Saul’s servants.” (1 Samuel 18:5 NET Bible)