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How Do I Love You?

Brenda’s Blog – March 12, 2024

“I knew he loved me and I loved him when he chose me over the Cowboys!”

The young woman’s comment made me smile. For a Texas born and raised man to prioritize his wife over a Cowboys game on TV was huge. It spoke love to her!

It also made me think about the choices I make. Some life changing decisions are ordinary. But they make a significant difference. Dr. Gary Chapman wrote of the Five Love Languages changing the way we maximized relationships. After identifying our own “language” too often we assume ours is universal and attempt to demonstrate love to others by the use of our own. However, Dr. Chapman emphasizes the proper understanding of the individual styles and appropriately applying them.

Clearly, my young friend with a wise husband, hears love when time and focused attention are the expression. To choose time with her above all others (even and especially favorite sports teams) says “I love you” in a way that truly speaks to her.

When my son-in-law changes light bulbs for me, or blows leaves from the back deck it says love to me for “acts of service” is definitely my language. Gifts, or even words of affirmation, are appreciated but miss the mark. Climbing a ladder and cleaning out a gutter definitely thrills my heart.

Being loved is a human requirement for thriving and flourishing. Being understood is a critical element of health. What a blessing we can be to others by taking time to study and correctly identify what translates as love and skillfully employing it in our relationships.

Now that my friend is assured of her husband’s love she is free to occasionally don her Cowboys tee shirt and cheer “the boys” on!

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