Living Through Love

Weekly Thought – May 13, 2025

Fred told his family in a conversation about his death: “I don’t want you to need me; I want you to love me.” He didn’t want dependence, but he greatly appreciated devotion.

Living Through Love

Love creates an environment that strengthens the will to live. Love brings joy to our life when there is little to rejoice about. We appreciate being loved so much that we sometimes forget the responsibility that comes with being loved. Those who love us want us to live, not die. We often talk about pursuing a life worth living, and I am convinced that understanding the value of love is a tremendous part of that endeavor. Many tell me I am too strong-willed to die, but I believe that the realization I can contribute and I am loved gives me purpose.

Doctors say that many old people who are reportedly died of “natural causes” really die of loneliness. Current medical research shows that we can literally die of broken hearts. Conversely, studies show that people who receive care and prayer tend to live longer and richer lives than those who don’t.

Just as God’s greatest gift to us is His love, so out greatest gift to one another should be our love one for another – and for Him. Love does not need to be earned; it is given. And so, no matter how incapacitated we are, we can still experience being loved – and loving.

Love is the strongest sustaining emotion we can fell. Acts of love are as important as the words of love. One of my favorite times in the day is when my daughter, comes in, pats me on the arm, kisses me on the forehead, and says, “I will see you in the morning.” When I was pronounced dying by my doctor, she said, “No, I will take him home and he will live.” That is exactly what happened. There is power in love.

Even though my bride of 67 years is now in heaven, I still celebrate Valentine’s Day – for her.

This week think about: 1) Who do I love and who loves me? 2) How can I better understand the responsibilities of loving? 3) When do I sense the love of God?

Words of Wisdom: “I believe that the realization I can contribute and I am loved gives me purpose to live.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I give you a new commandment—to love one another. Just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” (John 13:34 NET Bible)

God is Not a Meanie!

Brenda’s Blog – May 6, 2025

Four year old Phoebe looked up from her hospital bed and told her parents, “It is alright because God is not a meanie!” At her memorial service these words made us all cry. It has been several years, but they still come to mind regularly.

Jesus asked His disciples two questions: “Who do men say that I am?” and “Who do you say that I am?” He still asks us the same question. What is your answer?

The pastor and author A.W. Tozer wrote these words: “What a person thinks about when they think about God is the most important thing about them.” What do you think about when you think when you think about God?

As a young girl I learned to sing “Be careful little eyes what you see, be careful little ears what you hear, be careful little mouth what you say. The Father up above is looking down in love.” “The Father up above” phrase put down deep roots in my little soul. I knew I could hide in my closet, under my bed – anywhere and God could see me. What didn’t go deep was the phrase “in love.” He watches because He cares, not because He is wanting to catch me doing something bad and mete out punishment. When as an adult I learned who He really is, it changed my life.

We know who we are because we know who He is. Our identity is established in and through the Lord Jesus Christ. This is a forever hallelujah! The world sets the parameters for how we think of ourselves and regard others. Those are false measures. The true one is established from the foundation of the earth by the Lord God Almighty who sent Jesus to redeem us, and tell us we are now His.

Divine Principles

Weekly Thought – May 6, 2025

Fred saw life through the filter of principles and illustrations. He observed that the principles never change – just the illustrations. His great friend Jack Modesett, Jr. commented: “Looking for principles is fun and rewarding. And with a little practice, it becomes a way of seeing God at work in His creation. Thanks, Fred, for launching me on that road.”

Divine Principles

While Proverbs says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,” it does not give us a clear and succinct definition of wisdom. Personally, I define it as the knowledge and us of divine principles. As Einstein says, “I want to think God’s thoughts after Him.” To me, that is wisdom. Too many people move from data to information to knowledge, but never get to wisdom.

The wisdom of divine principles is often conceptual, not just in explicit chapter and verse. For example, the love of God that so few people really understand was perfectly stated by Ray Stedman in these words: “My life changed when I realized God was for me.”

The gaining of knowledge is the first step toward wisdom. For example, my good friend Jack Modesett, Jr. said “My time at Princeton became enjoyable and profitable when I discovered that learning was fun.” He has carried this over into his Bible studies and teaching. Exploring divine mysteries is exciting.

Another helpful divine principle is “God will not do for you what you can do for yourself, but He will not let you do for yourself what only He can do.” Often we must take the first step, like the priests who had to step into the Red Sea before the waters parted.

A principle that has been sustaining to me during these years of disability is one that Oswald Chambers has helped me see: “God will not give you strength to overcome, but will give you strength as you overcome.”

What a treasury of wisdom we have in the saints who have gone before us, and when we accept Scripture as God’s word and the authority for life.

In it we learn that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.

This week carefully consider: 1) What divine principles are part of my daily thinking? 2) How can I sharpen my ability to see and use these principles? 3) Who models this practice for me?

Words of Wisdom: “The wisdom of divine principles is often conceptual, not just in explicit chapter and verse.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.” (Proverbs 1:7a NET Bible)

Words To Live By

Weekly Thought – April 29, 2025

Fred especially appreciated a prayer written by William Barclay. In teaching and writing he broke down the phrases and drilled down into their application. This week features his thinking on the opening address.

Words To Live By

“Lord, grant us in our work, satisfaction; in our leisure, pleasure; in our study, wisdom; and in our love, loyalty.” I was so impressed with the balance of life he described that I easily memorized it. Through the years I have repeated it to myself many times and twice I have taught it as a Sunday School lesson. The first time I only taught the four requests. Later, I realized that I had missed the significance of the three opening words.

“Lord” – One of the major theological questions today is whether Christ can be Savior without being Lord. George Gallup did a survey among the “born again” and found that only 10 percent considered their faith in daily decision making. He wrote a book entitled “The Saints Among Us” indicating that 90 percent of us are nominal Christians.

“Grant” – This reminds us that all good and perfect gift come from above. We have no demands on God, only requests. Again, the Bible tells u that we have nothing but what we have received of God.” (See 1 Corinthians 4:7).

“Us” – This reminds us that Christianity is a community a Body, a family. It is not just an individual experience. It is not like the pine tree that can grow by itself. It is like the redwood that grows in a cluster of four with the roots supporting each other.

Gert Behanna was born and raised in the old Waldorf Astoria amid amazing wealth. After spending much of her life wedded to a lifestyle of drugs and alcohol, she came to Christ. When she prayed “Our Father” for the first time she realized she was part of a family. She gave most of her wealth to needy Christians whom she considered brothers and sisters.

“Lord, grant us” is a triad of infinite significance.

This week carefully consider: 1) Which word am I going to dwell on this week? 2) When do I experience being part of the family of God? 3) How can I be an influence for Christian maturity?

Words of Wisdom: “Christian community is not like the pine tree that can grow by itself.”

Wisdom from the Word: “For who concedes you any superiority? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you received it, why do you boast as though you did not?” (1 Corinthians 4:7 NET Bible)

Lasting Words

Brenda’s Blog – April 22, 2025

Devon Booker plays for the Phoenix Suns. When he was 18 years old he left college and went into the NBA draft as the youngest professional basketball player. He studied Kobe Bryant, even mastering one of Bryant’s signature moves. He chose well when he looked to the seasoned star.

He tells the story of asking for KB’s signature on his shoes. “Be legendary” was the message written on them with the famous player’s signature. That has become a lifetime message, especially after the tragic helicopter death of Bryant.

Perhaps we aren’t top draft choices, G.O.A.T. level performers, or known throughout the world for our wealth, but several points jump out: 1) Play to your strengths; 2) Choose a mentor wisely; 3) Understand the cost of excellence; 4) Appreciate the joy of accomplishment; 5) Set bigger and bigger goals.

What would you want to hear from your mentor? What are you saying to those who come to you for “life lessons?”

The influence of others on us and ours on them is too often discounted. Think of the time words of encouragement enabled you to take that next difficult step. Consider a quick moment when your smile at a check-out counter may have brightened a tough day. What we say can have lasting impact – even beyond lifetimes.

The book of Proverbs tells us an apt word is like “apples of gold in settings of silver.” High value, wouldn’t you agree?

Victory Through Vision

Weekly Thought – April 22, 2025

Fred sat on numerous business and ministry boards. His gifts of discernment, connecting dots, and maximizing operations enabled him to contribute to the development of numerous organizations. Vision building is a critical element of any institutional infrastructure.

Victory Through Vision

David Rockefeller was once quoted as saying, “The number one function of the top executive is to establish the purpose of the organization. Like the hub of the wheel, everything else grows out of this priority. “Where there is no vision, the people perish” (See Proverbs 29:18) The New American Standard Bible focuses on the way they perish: “Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained.” To be restrained, and to be concentrated on purpose, is essential to accomplishment. That is why the leader must define the “why” of the organization.

A leader must personally the vision and be dedicated to it personally. As they seek to maintain the vision, leaders must keep in mind these essentials:

1. Define the vision specifically. Leaders disperse the fog.
2. Express it so other people understand it. Lingo without logic simply confuses and doesn’t galvanize.
3. Get both organizational and personal acceptance of the vision. Nodding heads without knowing hearts keep the motor idling.
4. Repeat the purpose over and over. The Old Testament patriarchs set up stones of remembrance to remind the people of their story. (See Joshua 4:5.7, My wife, Mary Alice, always sent the children out the door with the following: ‘Remember who you are, where you’re from, and what you represent.” She kept their purpose “ever before them.”

When you have a clear vision, you view everything in its light. A vision is a filter and a grid through which all activity flows. You come to see the need for a vision broad enough that everything you do can be tied to it. The focused vision will both include and exclude. Despite the work it takes to craft an effective vision, it is a far better alternative to perishing.

This week carefully consider: 1) How aware am I of the vision statements of leading businesses or ministries? 2) What would a family vision statement be? 3) Who has a good approach to vision casting?

Words of Wisdom: “To be restrained, and to be concentrated on purpose, is essential to accomplishment.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When there is no prophetic vision the people cast off restraint, but the one who keeps the law, blessed is he!” (Proverbs 29:18 NET Bible)

The Art of Criticism

Weekly Thought – April 15, 2025

Fred respected those who corrected motivated by the desire for others to improve. The proper environment for criticism is an observation to help potential develop. He once offered a review of a musician’s performance with these words, “I know you want to be the best…” After which he commented on the strengths and weaknesses of the concert.

The Art of Criticism

Keep criticism positive. Recently, I tried to analyze the reasons for criticism. Three were negative and one positive.

1) We are passing the buck on a self-grudge. If before 10:00 in the morning I have been critical of everybody and everyone, I must stop and ask, “Fred, what is wrong with you? What are you mad at yourself about?” Generally, I have to go and make a call to somebody with an apology. My environment won’t straighten out until I quit being mad at myself and make it right.

2) We are trying to show superior knowledge. How often does someone show you a great idea and you respond enthusiastically until you suddenly say to yourself, “I can’t be too complimentary because he may feel he is as smart as I am.” So you say, “Joe this is a great idea, but…” Many “yes, buts” come from the desire to show your own superior knowledge or experience.

3) We are responding to performance that hasn’t made the grade. Those who start well, but don’t make the A-List usually become critics. You can’t put a failed executive back into the ranks – he/she will become a naysayer and negative influence.

4) We are desiring the other person to improve through our help. We can point out something he or she might not see. It is done quietly and kindly. Positive correction/criticism is not done in public, or even within earshot of others. Too often the negative models are expressed in front of as many as possible to the embarrassment of one and the poor judgement of the other. True, strong positive criticism is specific, and directly clearly toward the area that needs work for the sake of improvement.

The motive of positive criticism sets it apart from any of the negative forms. It is important to point out emotional stability is the foundation for the competent use of the positive and a quality every capable leader must have.

This week think about: 1) How do I react when I recognize a critical attitude in myself? 2) When is the best time for me to handle situations needing correction? 3) What are the triggers for my critical attitude?

Words of Wisdom: “Many “yes, buts” come from the desire to show your own superior knowledge or experience.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Speech that heals is like a life-giving tree, but a perverse speech breaks the spirit.” (Proverbs 15:4 NET Bible)

Finishing Well

Brenda’s Blog – April 8, 2025

“Several Old Testament characters lived too long.” Dr. Donald Campbell, President of Dallas Theological Seminary from 1986-1994 surprised the audience with these words. Clearly Dr. Campbell firmly believed our days are numbered by God, but his message was about living out those days with wisdom.

As he spoke I thought about words my Dad offered to a men’s retreat: “Guys, don’t make a junkyard of your old age.” That should have evoked a laugh, but these mid-life high achievers listened attentively as he described the pitfalls ahead. During the intervening years several men in that group traveled the road successfully while others sadly made a trash heap of family, work, and faith community.

“You have had every opportunity to get mixed up with all kinds of stuff during high school. What made you choose otherwise?” This question to one of my grandsons brought an answer I will never forget. “Gram, I set goals and I knew what I needed to do to achieve them. Partying and running around might be fun for just awhile, but then it could disqualify me for the things I wanted the most so I chose not to.” I was stunned – and deeply moved. How grateful to know he learned early the principle of wise living.

We have the privilege of living out our allotted time to bless others, grow in mind and spirit, and serve the Lord. I am now into my “octogenarian season.” The threats to finishing well still abound, but with God’s strength and courage I will not be one who lived too long. I encourage you to know the joy of living in wisdom and truth.

The Glory of Grace

Weekly Thought – April 8, 2025

Fred appreciated and applied grace generously. In his last days he made phone calls from his hospital bed to several lifelong friends. He spoke briefly to each one; he frequently would respond to their gracious words with “thank you, but remember, I am just a sinner saved by grace.”

The Glory of Grace

Grace was genuine, real, personal, and palpable to the great saints. Brother Lawrence, Frank Laubach, Francois Fenelon- these men never doubted they were the constant recipients of God’s amazing grace. Grace was a practical part of their everyday lives.

For example, Brother Lawrence said that when he made a mistake he didn’t spend any time thinking about it – he confessed it and moved on. Before I read that, I had been trapped by guilt… after all immediate grace was too good to be true. Brother Lawrence’s experience greatly released me.

Nevertheless, legalism appeals to our common sense and reasoning. I find it necessary to remind myself that the very Scripture that makes me know my sin and guilt lets me know God’s grace. By refusing grace we play God, creating a disciplinary system by and for ourselves. We view events as punishment. We anticipate correction and interpret it to fit our penal model. We fail to see that actions have consequences and we may just be experiencing the natural results, not a divine penalty.

Why do we do this? Usually because we feel we deserve judgment rather than grace. Grace brings freedom. If we could only follow Brother Lawrence by confessing, receiving His freedom, and moving on “gracefully.” Since grace cannot be deserved why should I feel others are worthy of its gift, but not I? Or why should I ever feel they are not worthy when I am?

Thinking we can be mature in Christ apart from grace is nothing more than foolish immaturity.

The Bible tells me we should not think too highly of ourselves, but it doesn’t advocate “worm thinking,” either. We are objects of grace; grace is a faith gift coming from and through the Father of light.

My great friend Steve Brown once told me his friend Jack Miller summed up the Christian message: “Cheer up, you’re a lot worse than you think you are; and Cheer up, God’s grace is a lot bigger than you think it is.”

This week think carefully consider: 1) When did grace become real for me? 2) How quickly do I show grace to others? 3) Who needs to know grace is God’s gift?

Words of Wisdom: “Grace was a practical part of their everyday lives.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Grace be with you all. “ (Hebrews 13:25 NET Bible)

The Balanced Life

Weekly Thought – April 1, 2025

Fred asked a question during a men’s retreat which spoke to their thinking on balanced living. “Are you driving with a distinct vibration in your operating system? Time control was of key interest to these attendees. Here are several illustrations from Fred.

The Balanced Life

Oftentimes I see people whose lives are simply out of balance. Years ago I was driving my 280ZX (proof of teenage residue) when suddenly I lost a balance on the right front wheel. Here was my dilemma: I could drive at 45mph or less and be stable, or go 65 and shake myself to pieces. This is the picture I have when I see so many people who definitely cannot go more than 45 without shaking and yet they are determined to go into career traffic traveling at 65 mph. If they could only stop, or knew to stop and get the little balance on the life wheel fixed they could be back all on the road. If you are balanced for 45 but insist on 65, you have to get a repair.

A recurring theme among leaders is getting back to the “simple life,” which usually comes down to the allocation of time. I laugh when people tell me they didn’t have time to attend their company’s time control seminar. I find many fail to understand the proper use of time and the value of delegation. Often mistake-prone clutter is illustrative of those who misunderstand the concept of leadership, particular talents, and the nature of building an effective team. Being the leader who is known as the “hardest worker” and the one who turns off the lights at night has tragically missed the point of leadership. Knowing our strengths and focusing on them is critical.

My philosophy has been: Do what only I can do and delegate the rest. I focus on my strengths and move everything else to the periphery.
So much is written about “the balanced life.” Reducing stress sells lots of books. An authentic life must have tension. If a living plant didn’t have the pressure of capillary action nutrients would never move from the roots to the leaves. One of my favorite books is Stress Without Distress. Balance doesn’t mean living life in neutral. Nor does balance mean all areas of life have equivalent focus. It does mean the integration of the parts make a complete whole. Integration should result in healthy living.

This week think about: 1) How long has it been since I evaluated my strengths? 2) What does a balanced life signify to me? 3) Who is an excellent role model for time management?

Words of Wisdom: “If you are balanced for 45 but insist on 65, you have to get a repair.”

Wisdom from the Word: “But as for you, be strong and don’t get discouraged, for your work will be rewarded.” (2 Chronicles 15:7 NET Bible)

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