Keeping Things Healthy

Weekly Thought – May 28, 2024

Fred thought about all aspects of health. He enjoyed the friendship of medical professionals and engaged them in the philosophy of medicine. He carefully analyzed the meaning of full health (physical, financial, relational, spiritual) and monitored the elements each year (Note: These notes from Fred were dictated in the 80s. His consideration of this topic was early in the popular conversation.)

Keeping Things Healthy

I have eclectic reading interests although I stay within the categories of philosophy, psychology, and theology. This allows me to study much about both the nature of God and the nature of man. Our son, Fred once asked me, “Dad, if you had one more talk to give what would be your topic?” Without hesitating I answered, “The nature of God and the nature of man.”

I have been very much interested in how stress immobilizes our defense mechanisms. I feel the Bible oftentimes gives us the solution to the problem without stating the problem at all. It assumes we accept the Word as authority and that obedience will be beneficial.

Shame does not coexist with emotional health. I am thinking a lot about the relation between shame and guilt. As I see shame, it’s an evaluation of condition. Self-loathing is not equivalent to guilt which is a reaction to an act based on a personal value system. Some have no guilt after an act that would create enormous guilt in someone else. An article I read said that the only physical evidence of shame is a “turning away of the face.” Remember how Adam answered God after he had sinned, “I hid myself for I was ashamed.” I am going to continue thinking about the two concepts: shame and guilt.

Revenge is not part of the emotional repertoire of healthy people. Headlines about sports figures, business competitors – even ministry leaders communicate the destruction of revenge. Psychologically, revenge is known to be one of the most damaging emotions. Dr. Hans Selye, the noted Nobel Prize winning scientist, lists revenge as the #1 emotion to avoid. This just makes good sense. If you have a “hate list” – tear it up! I was having lunch with the President of a corporation going through some difficult competition. “I’m going to get those suckers!” I reminded him good, clean competition is perfectly acceptable for Christian businesses. But revenge is beyond acceptable boundaries. Filling our lives with vengeance destroys our peace, our health, and even our ability to operate with clarity.

Emotional health is part of the bedrock for good living. Establishing anchors for a life well lived is critical.

This week think about: 1) How effectively do I audit my emotional health? 2) What triggers my unhealthy emotions?3) Where are my strengths for a balanced life?

Words of Wisdom: “Revenge is not part of the emotional repertoire of healthy people.”

Wisdom from the Word: “A bright look brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the body.” (Proverbs 15:30 NET Bible)

Of Tempests and Teabags

Brenda’s Blog – May 21, 2024

A cup of English Breakfast tea with lemon and local honey in a hand-thrown mug is a marvelous way to begin the day, or to reflect mid-afternoon on the day. My British friends consider my use of teabags rather crass. Loose tea steeped in a beloved pot then strained and poured into a delicate porcelain tea cup with a flourish is the only civilized way to enjoy tea. Cream and sugar are the traditional accompaniments, not my lemon and honey from a friend’s hives.

I truly enjoy the sensation of wrapping my hands around the heavy mug, thoroughly heated from the boiling water while sitting on my couch dressed in my sweats. On the other hand, my tea aficionados dress in frocks, and fascinators to enjoy the afternoon ritual.
Tea serves those of us who love analogies. Eleanor Roosevelt is credited with “A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong she is until she is put into hot water.”

I enjoy British mysteries. One of the requisite lines in every episode is the “come in, I’ll put on the kettle.” Isn’t that true of life? Don’t we feel like we are invited to participate while the water heats up and the quality of our tea is tested?
It is in the boiling water we find the truth of our faith. It is also in the boiling water we are changed into something useful to many. It is in the boiling water we find purpose.

Whether in a mug which is the “work of the artist’s hand” or from family Royal Doulton, the tea can teach us life lessons. We can learn to appreciate the boiling waters as they transform us into a fragrant, delightful source of joy.

Committed to Service

Weekly Thought – May 21, 2024

Fred carried a pocket tape recorder with him. He always had scraps of paper (envelopes were a favorite) for catching thoughts and quotes. Margie spent nearly twenty years transcribing. Her typing speed was dizzying! One of the binders held one-liners, poems, humorous lines, miscellaneous quotes, and one labeled “Stories.”

Committed to Service

I was speaking in Kingston, New York, and my host planned to meet me at LaGuardia, driving me to the town. It was a cold February day, with snow and ice on the road. When he arrived, he had a young man with him doing the driving. He was not part of the “executive training program,” so I engaged him in conversation to hear his story. He was a local delivery truck driver who worked for a local firm.

He had insisted on driving because he thought my host was “getting up in years” and wouldn’t be comfortable or confident to drive in the bad weather. Along the way he made a stop saying he thought two gentlemen of our age would appreciate a cup of coffee and a restroom. I think I had just turned forty!

After the meeting I discovered someone took my overcoat. The young man thought an older man with a bad memory had taken it by mistake, so he drove to his house, rescued my overcoat, and returned it to the hotel. As he left, he wrote down his home phone number telling me I could call anytime for any reason. Earlier in the evening he heard me mention I was experiencing gallstone pain, so he included the phone number for the local hospital. As he left for home that night he asked if he could join the group for breakfast the next morning. He said he just liked to listen to the conversation.

He joined us and a few minutes before we finished. he left the table. He returned with an envelope in his hand. He passed it to me saying, “It is Valentine’s Day and you’ll be traveling. I was afraid you might forget to get your wife a card.” It was one of those extremely frilly, over-the-top romantic valentines which I would hardly have picked out for Mary Alice, but I was extremely proud to give it to her and tell her the story.

This was a young man totally committed to service. The menial tasks were done with a noble spirit.

This week carefully think about: 1) How aware am I of those who are committed to service? 2) What helps me be alert of stories around me? 3) Who deserves recognition for an outstanding attitude?

Words of Wisdom: “The menial tasks were done with a noble spirit.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Do not lag in zeal, be enthusiastic in spirit, serve the Lord.” (Romans 12:11 NET Bible)

Effective Organizations

Weekly Thought – May 14, 2024

Fred believed that two men early in his career verified his gifts of discernment and intuition. One was Ray Stedman, pastor of Peninsula Bible Church, and the other was Baxter Ball, Vice President of Mobil Oil. Combined with his ability to analyze and evaluate, he made great contributions to leadership thought.

Effective Organizations

Highly effective executives develop effective organizations. Of course, there is great variety in corporate cultures, but in my experience, there are two types of leaders: one with a focus on things and the other who operates focusing on people. The “things” style is strong on technique. There is a great need to know all the details of the operations. This style tends toward micro-management. To be successful the organization must remain small enough so that ongoing supervision is possible.

Let’s think about “people-focused” leadership. I have three points for you to consider:

1) Be sure you have the right people. Someone told me, “One of the biggest sins of management is not firing enough people.” The foot-draggers, the free-loaders, and the obstructionists should be put out. Incidentally, if you are ever in trouble, these are the first one to turn against you. It takes a tough-minded leader to get and keep the right people. It takes real courage.

2) Reserve for yourself the things that only you can do and delegate the rest. What are the things in your business that only you can do? It will vary. Some of you are creative; others are administrative. However, in every business there are things which only the top executive can uniquely do. If you are the kind who says, “I am the only one around here who can do anything…” you, my friend, are my number one candidate for a heart attack!

3) Develop your people. A study by a large corporation found that 85% of truly helpful development came on the job, not in extra development programs. Most of the answers for leadership development comes right from the job, not expensive and time -consuming programs. Probably most of you were primarily developed by someone who was willing to delegate to you.

Theodore Roosevelt said: “The art of good management is the ability to pick good people and the humility to leave them alone.” What an excellent choice of words. Strong leaders build people who can operate wisely and well without constant supervision. The leader who “needs to be needed is professionally needy and has some serious executive flaws.

Pick good people, delegate well, and grow the them. You will enjoy the fruits of an effective organization.

This week think about: 1) How would I assess my leadership style? 2) Who has been instrumental in my own personal development? 3) What is my unique contribution to the organization?

Words of Wisdom: “It takes a tough-minded leader to get and keep the right people.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Teach me proper discernment and understanding. For I consider your commands to be reliable.” (Psalm 119:66 NET Bible)

Don’t Settle

Brenda’s Blog – May 7, 2024

Mrs. Preston was my first grade teacher at Westwood Elementary in Cincinnati, Ohio. I noticed birthdays were celebrated in a special way. The celebrant would leave the room with Mrs. Preston, returning with a colorful crepe paper streamer which would be tied to the chair. All day they enjoyed the attention. Right then I knew when March came I would walk out the door and choose a pink streamer.

As March arrived I could hardly wait! Finally the day came, Mrs. Preston escorted me to a supply closet, opened the door, and said, “Pick one, Brenda.” The overflowing box overwhelmed me. “Where is a pink one… I can’t see a pink one, “I thought to myself. Impatiently, Mrs. Preston said, “JUST PICK ONE!”

So I did – a purple one. I HATED that purple streamer. She tied it to my chair instead of a pink one I had anticipated since school began. But I didn’t say anything.

Nearly 50 years later the story surfaced from my memory bank. Then associated reminders poured out. I had settled for purple because I didn’t know to politely ask for help finding the pink streamer. I didn’t know that it was important to me to express my desire. Settling became a way of life for me.

Invited to speak to a women’s group in Kansas City a short time later I decided my topic would be “Don’t Settle.” A few weeks before I stopped overnight in Dallas, I was sharing the story and the outline with my Dad, a recognized and respected author, speaker, and mentor. He encouraged me to go boldly.

The week of the trip to Kansas City a package arrived for me. As I opened it tears ran down my eyes. Yes, it was a package of pink crepe paper. Written in his scribbly hand were these words “Don’t Settle… and Be A Blessing.”

At the end of my prepared talk I reached into my bag, pulled out the crepe paper, passed it around with a pair of scissors and encouraged each woman to cut a small piece as a reminder.

How often fear stops us from stepping out. How often we don’t want to “get in the way” or inconvenience someone. How often we fail to experience the joy of a realized dream. This is the time to pick your own streamer!