Step By Step

Brenda’s Blog – February 27, 2024

“When I start a project I think through all the steps then I begin knowing exactly what the end result will be.”

Eric Hollenbeck, the prominent craftsman from Eureka, CA is featured on a Magnolia Network TV series titled The Craftsman. He infuses his philosophy of life, work, community, and service throughout each episode. He often emphasizes that each project is unique, not a mass production. Therefore, each one requires serious thought, solutions, and plans. He points out that a crucial part of his strategy is to think through each step of the project to the very end. When that is complete then he begins with a clear sense of the outcome.

It makes me consider the way God works with us in our Christian lives. He knows the beginning from the end; He is the author and finisher of the work He undertakes. The maturing process is called sanctification and is a serious, series of steps which God takes. The project has a pre-determined conclusion – looking like Jesus… Being transformed into the image of God’s own dear Son. He, like Eric Hollenbeck, considers the entire work. When He drew us to Himself He set us on a path with definite steps which reach a beautiful conclusion in glorification and time with Him forever – just as He planned.

Years ago as a young family we regularly entertained church groups. When preparing for a large dinner I would think through each and every step just as if I were doing them. I always said “when I see it and can walk through it in my mind, I am ready to get to work.” I knew the steps to take, and having prepared mentally I could begin.

Are you facing a daunting task? Are you considering a change? Think through the steps to take between the outset and the outcome. Then get started.

Qualities of Worship

Weekly Thought February 27, 2024

Fred grew up as a – PK (preacher’s kid) which often sent mixed messages about the church. One thing sustained him – the reality of worship. The greatness of God and his awe for the Father never diminished.

Qualities of Worship

What do you think about worship? Here are some of mine through the years.

1) Quiet creates an atmosphere of reverence. Some of my deepest experiences of worship have come in empty churches. Whether it was downtown Chicago, the mountains of Colorado, rural Mexico, or Europe I have gone into churches alone just to sit and worship God quietly. One night in Colorado I stood outside with nothing but starlight illumination. Out loud I asked “How big is God?”

2) In worship we establish a proper position to God. The poem “Invictus” is not my creed. I am NOT the master of my fate; I am not the captain of my soul. God is my Father, Christ is my Savior – He is my Lord. In prayer we position ourselves in humility. It is interesting to me that I have never found a place in scripture where we are told to pray for humility – we are commanded to humble ourselves – We position ourselves in gratitude in worship… not only for the things we have received but for the many unknowing times of protection. We understand our position by faith. And we position ourselves in submission. “I am the vine; you are the branches” Jesus tells us.

3) In worship I evaluate myself. The worshipper’s view of life is the ultimate perspective – revealing and reversing our earthly take. The ultimate challenges us to consider the warning on the car’s side mirror: images in this mirror are larger and closer than they appear. Our eternal position is actually nearer and way larger than we imagine it to be. To live with an eternal perspective alters our priorities.

I think that possibly our children and our grandchildren are one ultimate way we evaluate ourselves. Last night, one of our granddaughters and her friend were at the house about midnight baking cookies (a glass of milk, a dozen cookies, and a granddaughter is about as good as life gets). And I said to her, “Ultimately my life will be evaluated more by our children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren than by any other factor of my life.”

4) In worship we lose ourselves. I think “turn ourselves loose” is a better way of putting it. While walking on the gulf beach and studying a shell I picked up I was caught up in the awe and wonder of God. I was briefly distracted by a man who struck up a casual conversation. It quickly moved from “how are you?” to “who are you?” and it became competitive. I lost my focus for when I was looking at the shell and the ocean and thinking of God I turned loose of everything but worship. When my “Type A friend” came by jockeying for position I turned my focus back onto myself… a loss. In true worship I am “lost in the majesty of God.”

Worship is recognizing who He is and who I am in Christ. Worship is the natural response of my heart to a right relationship with myself, with Him, and with others.

This week carefully consider: 1) Where do I experience true worship? 2) What causes me to stop in wonder and awe? 3) How can I pause this week to truly worship?

Words of Wisdom: “Quiet creates an atmosphere of reverence.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The man bowed his head and worshiped the LORD,” (Genesis 24:26 NET Bible)

Life Lessons

Weekly Thoughts – February 20, 2024

Fred asked questions – not just random, shallow ones, but queries which went deep to the heart of situations. When there were problems to solve he asked questions to break up the “log jam.” His philosophy was very simple: “ask a question the person wants to answer.” This week the thought features two questions Fred liked to ask himself.

Life Lessons

I have spent my life asking questions. I always work to find the key question. Here are two that I have meant a lot to me in my development.

1) Does my will control my feelings? Integrity is more a matter of the will than those of feelings. Certainly feelings are important for without them are mechanical. We are unable to connect with others through empathy or compassion. They are great implementors but poor leaders. Our will must control our feelings. The will is the single most distinguishing feature of our character. I was fortunate enough to have a Mother with an indomitable will. In spite of many physical disabilities, she persevered, often quoting Galatians 6:9: Be not weary in well doing, for in due season you shall reap if you faint not.” Leadership demands a strong will – not a selfish or stubborn will but a determined will to do what needs doing. By will we overcome our yen for pleasure and our satisfaction with mediocrity. There is a will which the leader must give to them in the organization who lack it. This does not blind us to the importance of emotion. It does, however, wring out the rationalization and procrastination that can attack us. Our will, not our feelings must be charged with the ultimate responsibility for our actions.

2) Is grace real for me? The great saints knew grace was genuine, real, personal, and palpable. Brother Lawrence, Frank Laubach, Francis Fenelon all had no doubt that they were the constant recipients of God’s amazing grace. It was a practical part of their everyday life. For example, Brother Lawrence said that when he made a mistake he didn’t spend any time thinking about it — he simply confessed it and continued on. He told God that without Him falling is natural. Before I read that, I lingered over guilt, thinking “immediate grace is too good to be true.” Brother Lawrence’s experience and counsel greatly released me. Nevertheless legalism appeals to our human nature. I must remind myself that the very Scripture that makes me know my guilt lets me know God’s grace. By refusing grace we play God and punish ourselves. We then view events as punishment; we redefine discipline. In reality it isn’t discipline – just the natural consequences. Mistakenly, we inject our own reading of it as God’s judgment. Why? Because we feel we deserve judgment rather than grace. Grace brings freedom. If only we could accept it fully, then we, like Brother Lawrence, could admit failure, accept forgiveness, and keep on to make forward progress. Such grace cannot be deserved. When I forget that it is a gift and available, I lose its power, depth, and richness until I stop and understand that “he who is forgiven much, loves much.”

This week carefully consider: 1) What are key questions I ask myself? 2) How would I evaluate the ratio between will and feeling in my decision making? 3)When is grace most evident to me?

Words of Wisdom: “I must remind myself that the very Scripture that makes me know my guilt lets me know God’s grace.”

Wisdom from the Word: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.” (Colossians 6:9 NET Bible)

No Matter How You Spell It

Brenda’s Blog – February 13, 2024

“Your [sic] the best Mom!”

I moved from a home where I had lived for decades. There were several cabinets unopened for years. As I looked in to check contents an aged post-it note fluttered down into my hand. The words made my eyes water… “Your [sic] the best Mom.” Everyone who knows me understands my reaction. “You’re, not your…” That is what they would assume. But no, tears, not jeers came. The little hand that wrote those words now belonged to a woman who is a wife, mother, and friend extraordinaire.

Grammar was my last thought. Feeling the effort and emotion displayed in that little yellow note overwhelmed me. Those words were not written during an “all is great” time. No, that note came after a very difficult Mom/teenage daughter season. It was her way of reaching out. Tears? YES!
When my Mom died I cleaned out drawers in her nightstand finding piles of greeting cards she saved. It chronicled the passage of time as three children sent birthday and Mother’s Day greetings. The childlike love grew into adult messages of appreciation and trust.
Too often we let the minutiae get in the way. Perfection is way oversold. Seeing the heart and acknowledging the love is the only thing that matters. Forget the spelling errors, and the grammatical flaws – see the expression and experience it with a grateful heart.

Take A Note and Ask a Question

Weekly Thought – February 13, 2024

Fred, in his mid-to-late twenties, met Maxey Jarman. That introduction grew into a lifelong friendship. A job offer and years of learning under Mr. Jarman and other strong, wise men helped Fred set a path for accomplishment.

Take A Note and Ask a Question

One form of mentoring helps the mentoree define the principles of living. Recently a young man said to me, “Mr. Smith, my grandfather was everything to me. He loved me and he taught me how to live.” That young man was surely blessed by a relationship like that. As we look at lifestyle mentoring in scripture, we think of Paul and Timothy. From the text we don’t know how much technical “how to be a missionary” time was spent between them. But we do know Paul was an excellent sponsor – a father in the faith. He allowed Timothy to work with him, observing, and absorbing. The words of Paul to Timothy were pointed and key to establishing healthy life patterns.

For years Zig Ziglar and I meet regularly to talk. Without fail the first thing Zig does is pull out his notepad and pen even though his memory for material is far better than most. I told him I was writing about mentoring and he said, “Be sure and tell the person being mentored to take notes. No one should trust his memory with anything this important.” Another friend, Dr. Ramesh Richard always puts his electronic notetaker on the table when we begin talking. “Mr. Smith, I have a completed recorded file of all our conversations.” For forty years as I worked with Maxey Jarman first as his employee, to a trusted consultant, fellow Christian board member, friend, and confidante I wrote down everything I saw him do or say that I thought was key. I was continually learning and wanted to remember both the principles and the illustrations.

Having a lifestyle mentoring relationship is not the same as a skill-based, or situational mentorship. This one focuses on a long time walking with another. The mentor is to be open, real, and to consistently personify their values before the young mentoree. Asking questions is a significant part of this process. One man with whom I have an ongoing conversation always comes prepared with questions to ask me before I enter that “senile eclipse.” (Editor’s note: Bill Glass, who considered Fred a mentor for 60 years came to the ICU for his last visit with Fred notebook and pen in hand. “I still have some questions for Fred,” he told the family in the waiting room.)

The mentor must provide a comfortable environment in which the mentoree feels free to ask any questions he considers needed. These may be questions about the mentor’s life or situations that may be coming. Questions like: “What were the major decisions in your life? What were the circumstances? What were the principles involved? How did you evaluate the outcome?” The more probing the questions, the better the learning.

A good mentor never ridicules a question. The mentor may choose to not answer, but must never ridicule for that shuts off the pump which produces the flow.

Lifestyle mentoring is coming alongside another for the purpose of learning and development. This won’t be the ordinary process. In fact, it will be reserved for very few, but for the right combination it provides an opportunity for a mentor to pass on more than techniques. As Paul said to Timothy, take what you are learning from me and build it into the lives of others who will then teach. Lifestyle mentoring is an effective method of torch passing.

This week carefully consider: 1) Who do I seek out for meaningful conversations? 2) What questions should I be asking a mentor?3) How can I become available to learners?

Words of Wisdom: “The mentor must provide a comfortable atmosphere in which questions can be freely asked.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Let the wise also hear and gain instruction, and let the discerning acquire guidance! (Proverbs 1:5 NET Bible)

Lessons from the Beach

Weekly Thought – February 6, 2024

Fred and Mary Alice enjoyed owning a condo in the Padre Island area for ten years. She loved walking the beach and collecting shells. He appreciated watching and writing down his observations.

Lessons from the Beach

I once went to our beach condo during Spring Break – not by intention! Have you ever been sober among the drunk? Old among the young? Outsider among the insiders? Fully clothed among the….well, you get the idea! It seemed to me the kids wanted three things:

1) Fun – it appeared the fun must always be eluding them because they were frantically looking for it. Fun is a phantom. Their laughter was hollow. They were loud, profane, and destructive Judging by the trash on the beach, fun is expensive. This search for fun was the definition of hedonism.

2) Irresponsibility – the essence of their irresponsibility could be summarized by three words: drunk, nude, and drugged. Signs encouraging women to “get naked” were plastered everywhere. I don’t have any experience with the drug culture, but judging by their behavior I had to believe they were “spaced out.”

3) Anonymity -The group provided a way to blend into a social mass, but it became more of a social mess. Behavior which would have been unthinkable alone gained acceptance with the mob mentality. I walked into our condo lobby as the police were interviewing four males who had raped a female. Not one of them carried any ID – they weren’t individuals for they were just part of the amorphous spring break culture. Spring break would end and the students would return to school with tales of beach conquests. These males, instead, may find themselves in jail and the female would leave scarred for life. They had chosen anonymity, but in so doing, had given up much of their unique identities.

We don’t automatically grow out of the search for fun, irresponsibility, and anonymity. Someone asked me, “what would it take to reach maturity?” For these beach goers they would have to 1) turn fun into joy; 2) exchange irresponsibility for accountability; 3) exchange anonymity for understanding identity and the outcome of having our name written in the book of life.

The danger of the beach week is not so much the three or four days of binge, but it is the danger of thinking the sinful appetite can be satisfied. It can be much more – it is a fire which constantly changes its appearance. What can be beach week turns into adult patterns with the same principles. I have known adults who never outlive the beach but disguise the search in more “adult” expressions. It can be greed, hunger for power, or desire for status. No matter what they try, the fire isn’t extinguished.

This week carefully consider: 1) What have I done to eliminate any Spring Break thinking? 2) How can I help younger ones understand the long term consequences of a lost week? 3) When do I see colleagues falling into immature thinking?

Words of Wisdom: “We don’t automatically grow out of the search for fun, irresponsibility, and anonymity.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The wise person accepts instructions, but the one who speaks foolishness will come to ruin.” (Proverbs 10:8 NET Bible)