What is Success?

Weekly Thought-September 27, 2022

Fred met many business people at Cindi’s Deli in Dallas at 6:00am for breakfast. When our project began men were asked, “What do you want to hear from Fred?” Every single one began answering with “When I had breakfast with Fred, he said… ” Thus, the project founded in 2004 was named BWF Project, and the leadership event for Christian higher education became the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute. For thirteen years we introduced students to Fred’s ideas on right thinking.

What is Success?

Let’s define success. Many people misunderstand it.

For Christians, success can never be measured by money. When people say to me, “That man’s worth ten million dollars” that tells me he is wealthy, but it doesn’t prove he’s successful. In some cases it could illustrate the opposite. For instance, if Mother Teresa,(whom I consider a tremendous success) confessed she had personal assets of over one million dollars I would think she was a hypocrite. Money would prove her a fraud, not a success.

Success can never be measured by numbers, regardless of what the numbers are. I know churches which measure budget numbers, membership, and size of the facility. One unfortunate measure is the number of young men and women who enroll in seminaries after being encouraged by home churches. I read 40% of many seminaries are populated with students encouraged to get a theological degree as they search for the will of God.

The measurement of success is simply the ratio of talents used to talents received. This definition encompasses the process of growth through the focused, purposeful development. Are you maturing? Are you clear on your strengths and gifts? What percentage of your talents are you using with intentionality? If you can answer these questions in the positive, be glad — you are successful.

Some of us tend to think “I could have been a success, but I never had the opportunity. I wasn’t born into the right family, or I didn’t have the money for more education.” But when we measure success by the ratio definition it eliminates those frustrations. I have known people with limited resources who maximized their equation, had a great sense of responsibility, a love for God, and other people. Out of all that flowed a full use of talents.

At GENESCO I promoted a young man from machine operator to lower management he wanted the challenge. Shortly afterward, he was killed in an automobile accident near Lewisburg, TN. Maxey Jarman, the CEO, wanted to go to the funeral. We drove seventy-five miles each way. On the way back Maxey said, “I believe Bill was one of the most successful men we have had in the company.” I said, “He was an hourly employee and was just promoted to a small managerial job. Why would you say that?”
“Because he used what he had.”

This week carefully consider: 1) How do I measure success? 2) What is motivating me to grow? 3) Who encourages me to maximize my potential?

Words of Wisdom: “The measurement of success is simply the ratio of talents used to talents received.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The LORD grants success to the one whose behavior he finds commendable.” (Psalm 37:23 NET Bible)

Three Cheers for the King

Brenda’s Blog – September 20, 2022

The voice rang out: “Three Cheers for the King!” What started as a prelude to a toast has now become a familiar chant for the monarch. In that large crowd, the calls rang out! Hip, hip Hooray! Hip, hip Hooray! Hip, hip Hooray! They were expressing their approval, their encouragement, and good wishes.

This joyful noise immediately brought my friend Becky to mind. In her last weeks of completing her Doctorate of Ministry from Dallas Theological Seminary, she received a severe diagnosis of uterine cancer. She took it on as a calling, creating a vibrant support group at Dallas Baylor Hospital, speaking, putting together volumes from stories of the support group women’s journeys. Her ministry looked much different than her plan. This was not serving in a church as Women’s Minister, but working day by day in a world of women whose lives were about pain, suffering, and death.

In a speech she spoke the promise of God’s presence. She lifted up the reality of Christian faith in the darkest of times. She challenged the women to look to Jesus for meaning, security, and confidence.

As she concluded her stirring message she lifted her hands and exclaimed “Hope, Hope, Hooray! Hope, Hope, Hooray! Hope, Hope, Hooray!” Becky expressed her approval of the God who was with her, the encouragement for those who were walking the cancer road, and eternal good wishes for life with Him even when the earthly time ended.

Fear

Weekly Thought – September 20, 2022

Fred understood the value of disciplined emotions. He did not deny their presence, but respected their role. He acutely analyzed them with objectivity. He had a particular gift of “standing outside himself” and doing personal assessments. In so doing he sought to know two things: his constructive strengths and his destructive weaknesses. Managing then became a process.

Fear

Dr. Clayton Bell, when pastor of Highland Park Presbyterian Church, had the chilling responsibility of telling one of his parishioners her husband, daughter son, and son-in-law were killed in their private plane. He suggested she keep a diary of her experience. She published a magnificent record of this intimate encounter with catastrophe. It has been an exceptional blessing to many. Mrs. May faced her fears honestly and dealt constructively with them. In so doing others have been enabled to deal with their fears.

In sharing our fears, we are able to overcome them.

All our fears are not directed toward death. Most are everyday, garden variety fears. Those nagging fears of self-doubt and discouragement… fears of sickness, and fears of loneliness all pull at us. While we know “God has not given us the spirit of fear” (the constant feeling of fear), we still must fight against those destructive fears which rob us of the “love, power, and sound mind” as He promised.

Some of our fears are the natural reaction to hurt and inadequacy. They are not phantoms; they are real. Therefore, we must deal realistically, not running in terror or striking out blindly without a plan.

It is only when fear becomes a hindrance to our concentration, an impediment to our normal function of enjoying life, that we have to attack it. Oftentimes we wait and it goes away. If it doesn’t, then we are responsible to keep it manageable.

Some fear is good. A proper existence needs healthy fear. The fear of failure has for years motivated winners. Athletes call it “playing for pride.” Therefore, fear can be a healthy driver so long as a moral, value structure keeps it in place. Fear turns on our juices – it is up to us to use them constructively.

Properly controlled fear becomes our cautious guide. Treated intelligently, it guides us around danger. Only when it gets out of control emotionally it leads us into dark places and finally immobilizes us. We rightly fear lions on the loose, but in the zoo they are something to study and enjoy. Just so uncontrollable fears must keep our emotional control towers in good working order. In vigilance we can control and use fear correctly.

Many years ago, Charlie McCormick of Chicago and spice fame, gave me a line he said he saw on an English pub wall: “Fear knocked at the door; faith, answered, and no one was there.”

This week think carefully about: 1) When have I been gripped by fear? 2) What plans do I have in place to deal with fear? 2) How am I modeling faith over fear?

Words of Wisdom: “Properly controlled, fear becomes our cautious guide.”

Wisdom from the Word: “It is the LORD who goes before you. He will be with you; he will not leave you or forsake you. Do not fear or be dismayed.” (Deuteronomy 31:8 NET Bible)

Handling Pressure

Weekly Thought – September 13, 2022

Fred thrived on analyzing the human condition. One of his favorite topics was stress. He read broadly on the subject and created frameworks for handling negative pressures. He was quick to offer gratitude as the strongest antidote.

Handling Pressure

We all have pressure. In my experience I see people choosing one of six ways to handle pressure:

1) Deny it: this is immature and shallow, but often chosen as the preferred option;
2) Be overcome by it: allow the circumstances to paralyze and short-circuit thought processes. One of my favorite lines is from Prof Hendricks of Dallas Theological Seminary who responded to a whining student’s reason for incomplete work: “Prof, I did the best I could under the circumstances.” Prof’s reply: “Son, what are you doing under there?”
3) Relieve it: a common approach leading to alcoholism, infidelity, and various addictions. It is a temporary fix with permanent consequences;
4) Classify it: This one is a particular favorite of mine. Identify whether it is vertical stress which focuses concentration and pulls us together or horizontal which pulls us apart and is destructive;
5) Rejoice in it: Christians learn to expect pressure and ask what can be learned, not how to avoid it;
6) Use it: the greatest energies can come from redirecting the pressure from negative to positive.

My first reaction to stress is: Don’t Panic. I have great admiration for race car drivers. There is a part of me which vicariously takes those turns and flies down the straight aways. One of the greatest lessons I learned from watching them – and talking with them at Indy one year: Don’t Panic.

The amount of stress, it has been shown, has a lot to do with the feeling of being out of control. Dr. Kenneth Greenspan, Director of the Center for Stress-Related Disorders at Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center said, “How stressful it (a situation) will be, depends upon the sense of control, or mastery of the situation.”

Executive stress has been called one of the most debilitating medical and social problems in America today. The Christian faith should have good answers for this. For example, our trust in the adequacy of Christ should take us above the current stress. Oswald Chambers always says, “Sit loose to things.” This has helped me tremendously. Twice in my consulting career mergers cancelled my primary client accounts – each done with little notice and serious financial implications. Reminding myself of Chambers’ admonition was crucial. Other fundamental tenets of the Christian faith like forgiveness, our temporal state, the sin nature of man, and the all-encompassing power of God help us put stress into proper perspective. Losing control is predictable; gaining perspective is profitable.

This week think carefully about: 1) What is stressing me right now? 2) How am I choosing to handle it? 3) Who needs encouragement to more constructively deal with their pressures?

Words of Wisdom: “We all have pressure.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Not only this, but we also rejoice in sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance.” (Romans 5:3 NET Bible)

Growing Up and Liking It

Brenda’s Blog – September 6, 2022

“I am proud of myself for adulting today.”

My comment to my daughter made both of us laugh. At nearly 80 wouldn’t you think I had conquered all possible hindrances to maturity? But no –

Last week an allergy attack left me with puffy eyes and a most unattractive stye. Ordinarily I would ignore it. However, on Saturday I was beginning a ten month program of study with a required meeting in Dallas. A short email message tied me in knots: “The first thing will be an individual photo session for the directory. Come prepared.”

I looked in the mirror, hoping the lumpy, bumpy eyelid was now smooth. Instead, it seemed enlarged. I actually entertained thoughts of asking permission to have my photo done with sunglasses. Then, it got serious – I considered not attending.

Then I started the growing up process. First, I got up at 4:30am, drove to Dallas, took off my sunglasses, got in the photo line – and adulted!

You know what happened? I stopped thinking about myself, engaged in the lectures, discussion, and group interactions. No one drew back in sheer horror, or proposed to eliminate me from the program.

C.S. Lewis says, “True humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” It reminds me maturity includes developing humility and a sense of reality. Adulting is an exercise in humility.

At the end of Saturday I thought back to high school and the time I missed an important leadership conference because it was a bad hair day and I couldn’t face anybody “like that.” At least I have made progress in the intervening 60 years.

Have fun as you practice adulting and let me know how you are doing.

Men of Meditation

Weekly Thought – September 6, 2022

Fred highly esteemed Francois Fenelon and other early Catholic mystics. Their inclusion of contemplation and meditation influenced his thinking. Laity Lodge in Leakey, TX, was built by the Howard E. Butt Foundation for spiritual growth and development. From its inception Fred and Mary Alice participated in Hill Country weekends with their friends.

Men of Meditation

Meditation is guided study with those who have long walked with God. I find the path to meditation in reading those who focused on closeness to God. One goal: to put down spiritual deep enough to endure times of drought. We put up hedge against withering times. We compare this with the scripture which reminds us grass with shallow roots dries up in the hot sun. Deep spiritual roots help us withstand the pressure of external pressures.

Let me give you a few examples of the men who influence me with their meditative thinking, priming my pump.

1) Augustine: “Love God and do what you will.” Jesus said, “If you love me you will keep my commandments.” Love and obedience come together. This thought helps me to deny legalism and choose true freedom in Christ.
2) Francis of Assissi: My paraphrase: “It is not so important that I am loved as that I love.” He understood the priorities.
3) Oswald Chambers: “Sit loose to things.” In Dallas it is very hard to learn to sit loose to things. We measure so much of our life and value by material possessions. Yet we must remember we are more than what we own. We must keep in mind if the things go we can’t feel like we have gone. Too many accumulate and say, “This is living.” That is not sitting loose.
4) Oswald Chambers: “God isn’t interested in my success; he is interested in my maturity.” This has been foundational in my own meditations.
5) Kelley: “Develop a quiet center to your life.” There must be a place where the storms do not hit. There must be that gyroscopic center from which the other instruments get their readings.
6) Tozer: “My flame may be small, but it is real.” This one I repeatedly consider. Growth and reality are integral, integrated elements.
7) Lawrence: “Dishwashing is just as sacred as prayer.” The value of work is scriptural. A friend of mine ordered a handcrafted gazebo from an African country. A year after the order the excellent piece arrived. With it came a little plaque: “Our work is our worship.” Too many worship their work instead of seeing work as a form of worship.

This week carefully consider: 1) What thoughts come to my mind regularly? 2) How can I deepen my ability to meditate? 3) Why do I get distracted when wanting to meditate?

Words of Wisdom: “Growth and reality are integral, integrated elements.”

Wisdom from the Word: “May my words and my thoughts be acceptable in your sight, O LORD, my sheltering rock and my redeemer.” (Psalm 19:14 NET Bible)