Weekly Thought – September 15, 2020

Fred-in-the-Bed was a weekly event drawing anywhere from 17 to 36 participants who listened to his accumulated “dialysis university” thinking. Chairs were placed around his hospital-style bed and he held court. He taught for 90 minutes, enjoying every single minute! The binder of notes from 2004 and 2005 assembled by Donna Skell and JoyLynn Hailey Reed reflect the breadth of his thinking. The cover of the binder bears a metal plate with the words: “a teacher inspires.” This is the third of five excerpts featured in September, his birthday month.

November 27, 2004 Fred in the Bed, part 3

“We should have the feeling of progressing in life,” There are five disciplines in life:

a) Financial – Money is important because it gives you options, Money is like blood in the body. “I make blood to live; I don’t live to make blood.” It is healthy to live on 80% of annual income. When Mary Alice and I married we had $5.00. I always kid her saying if she wanted more, she should have saved more! We committed to living on 50% of our income until we had a year’s income in the bank. We believed in giving 10% as a minimum and definitely saving at least 10%.

Learn the difference between saving, investment, and speculation. Investment is playing WITH the odds, Speculation is playing AGAINST the odds. Make friends of compound interest. Don’t spend interest, invest it.

We used the rule of putting deposits in our “memory bank…” We invested in experiences through travel, associating with interesting people, and education. We knew that children learn financial management based on what they see their parents do.

b) Physical – I laughingly say my favorite form of exercise is stopping by my favorite donut shop, parking on Willow Lane, and watching my friends run the track at The Cooper Center. I have been blessed with good health until my kidneys decided they needed extra attention 3x a week. Childhood exposure to lead based paint slowly deteriorated their functioning. I am not disabled by dialysis, but only “delightfully dependent.”

c) Mental and associations – My good friend Charlie “Tremendous” Jones likes to say “Except for the people you meet, the places you go, and the books you read, you will be the same person in 5 years as you are today.” I know travel, reading, and associations are the pillars of my development plan.

d) Emotional – Maturity is stretching your wheelbase. Think of going over a road bump in a Smart Car then think about going over in a stretch limousine…what a difference. In the Smart Car you almost climb the bump with front and back wheels simultaneously. The limo gives a long space between front and back. Children’s emotions change from laughing to crying in just moments… they have a very short wheel base. My grandson Jeff Horch and his wife have a baby son named Jack. When he starts fussing they say to him, “Jack, SYW!” meaning stretch your wheelbase.

e) Spiritual – Know what you believe. Know what your standard of belief and truth is. I accept the Bible as the compass which indicates true north. I can wander through various intellectual forests, but still find my way home if the Bible is my source and guide. Have a clear answer for “who do you say I am?”

This week carefully think about: 1) Which of the disciplines requires significant thought? 2) How do I build memories with my family? 3) How would I measure my life progress?

Words of Wisdom: “I never think of myself as disabled, just delightfully dependent.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I pray that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, will give you spiritual wisdom and revelation in your growing knowledge of him.” (Ephesians 1:17 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 8, 2020

Fred experienced four hospitalizations which were predicted to usher him from earth to heaven. Each time he recovered, returned home, and continuing stretching and blessing. After an early one he spent a restless, frustrating weekend. His daughter in whose house he lived realized this pattern would drive the both crazy. She called dear friend Ed Yates saying, “Dad is definitely not satisfied with no activity. Would you invite some friends and come by next Saturday?” Ed began a Saturday tradition which continued until his death. Because chairs were placed around him as he lay elevated, but horizontal, it became known as Fred in the Bed. Donna Skell and JoyLynn Hailey Reed compiled their notes for two years as a gift for his 90th birthday. During his birthday month of September the compilation will be excerpted.

August 21, 2004 Fred in the Bed, part two

Fred talked about stress quoting St. Avalon “The imagination is the fool of the house.” So much of our stress comes from imagination, My ancient mystic friend Francois Fenelon says when we move away from gratitude for today and imagining a better tomorrow we are “insulting the opportunities of today.”

How do you maintain inner strength during stressful periods?

A helpful metaphor is a submarine. As the ship goes down the pressure (strength) inside needs to increase to counter-balance the pressure outside. When we are in stressful seasons we must make sure our internal strength is adequate to offset the external forces pushing against us.

Anger also produces stress. Have you ever known people whose lives seemed to have a thin veneer of civility and calm yet once the surface was scratched anger bubbled up like a volcano? Because of my love for food I also like the picture of Crème Brulee. The crust is thin and fragile. Once punctured the custard is exposed (and in my case, quickly consumed). Stress and anger go hand in glove.

I am convinced there are two types of stress: vertical and horizontal. The vertical is healthy because it pulls you up, Think of a flower on a stem. Without turgor pressure the stem droops. Without the fluids pushing through the cells the flower dies, We can grow limp, as well, One of the best examples is the sense of awe (reverential fear) of God.

Horizontal stresses pull us apart and create damage. Designing our lives to meet others’ demands and standards is horizontal. All the current talk about self-image leads to horizontal stress. We want to have a clear definition of self-worth because we were bought by God through the work of Christ. That is settled and doesn’t change just by what others think or say.

In our competitive society there is a prevailing stress – the fear of losing. The losing by our choosing stresses us. When we make one decision we give up other options. These are the “Y”points. Marriage and career are two of the biggest examples. One of the pitfalls of our current day is buyer’s remorse. “If I choose the left fork and it grows dull, I opt out and choose another road.” The stress of always looking around for the better option steals the joy of commitment.

This week carefully consider: 1) If I were immobilized how would I use my time to benefit others? 2) How clear am I on the differentiation between vertical and horizontal stress? 3) What is creating unhealthy stress in my life right now?

Words of Wisdom: “Scripture emphasizes shelter, refuge, and shadow as roles of God… great antidotes for stress.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one true God acts in a faithful manner; the LORD’s promise is reliable; he is a shield to all who take shelter in him.” (2 Samuel 22:31 NET Bible)