DUH!

Brenda’s Blog – September 26, 2017

“Ring the bell and something happens”

The line at the post office grew, as did the frustration. “Where is the postal clerk?” “Is anybody working today?” Our small rural facility doesn’t hold a very long line, but this agitated group made much noise.

Finally, someone saw a small hand-lettered sign on the crowded counter: “Ring the bell for service.” Quickly the first person walked up, dinged the bell (several times), and sure enough – a friendly postal worker arrived from the backroom. Each person was served efficiently. The man behind me smiled and said, “Ring the bell and something happens.”

I looked at him, smiled, and said “That’ll preach.” As a lay preacher, he thoughtfully said, “I think I will have to figure out how to use that.” I knew immediately – it was a blog post.

I also thought of the times in my life when I either figuratively or literally sat behind a parked car, fussing and fuming. So many times when I am stuck or at least at a standstill it isn’t because the system is broken, but because I am not in sync. The postal workers didn’t hide in the back wanting to frustrate us. No, they did their sorting work knowing that when they were needed in the front someone would ring the bell.

What bells need ringing in our lives? Are there relationships that seem to be at a dead end, but really just need the ring of a bell to enliven it? What are the assumptions we make at work that create long lines? Is there a solution waiting if we would only read the fine print on the signs? Where are the obvious log jams which only require an objective evaluation and appropriate action? Where are you standing in a line complaining when just a simple action would result in something happening?

Asking Myself

Weekly Thought – September 26, 2017

Fred practiced mentoring by listening, asking questions, and applying principles. His ability to ask astute questions was part of his discernment gift which he developed through discipline and focus. We continue to provide questions he proposed to one of his monthly breakfast groups.

Thank you for praying for BWFLI. As we develop our 2018 and 2019 schedules, we do solicit your support.

Asking Myself

(The AM/PM group asked Fred to capture some of the mentoring questions they discussed monthly. Later on, the BWF Project asked him to give his thumbnail answers to them. Fred had no preparation – these are his top of mind responses while lying in his hospital bed.)

1) What are my areas of greatest discipline? We are most disciplined in the area in which we desire the most progress. For example, we can be highly disciplined in particular areas of our lives while remaining relatively undisciplined in others. I know musicians who are serious about their practice, but care little about their personal appearance! Or sadly, a singer may strive to perfect the singing skills while remaining a moral reprobate. Greatness always requires strict discipline. Exceptions and the desire to live that way are the enemy of discipline.

2) What do I learn and retain easily? I learn and retain those things that are most natural to me. I am convinced this is one of the indicators of our uniqueness. What I learn (and want to continue to learn) is a sign of my giftedness.

3) What destructive weaknesses do I have and how am I trying to buttress them? There are two things I need to know about myself – my constructive strengths and my destructive weaknesses. If the weakness does not work against the strength, I do not spend much time correcting it. I believe in developing my strengths and buttressing my weaknesses. I find a person will work much harder to improve strengths than correcting weaknesses. They have more energy displaying strengths than overcoming or improving weaknesses.

4) Do I expect more perfection from others than I do from myself? Generally we expect more perfection from others than ourselves because we understand our own limitations and not those of others. However, there are those who impose such high expectations on themselves they become difficult to work for and work with.

5) Am I willing to share credit easily? One of Canada’s most successful construction CEOs had this sign on his wall: “I can accomplish almost anything so long as I don’t care who gets the credit.” I find a great many problems in business are caused by those who want credit. Generally, they end up in competition with everyone.

This week think about: 1) Which question hits me hardest? 2) How can I use these questions in mentoring others? 3) What is God teaching me through Fred’s words?

Words of Wisdom: “I want to know two things: my constructive strengths and my destructive weaknesses.”

Wisdom from the Word: “After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions.” (Luke 2:46 NET Bible)

Mentoring Questions

Weekly Thought – September 19, 2017

Fred met monthly with men named “The AM/PM Group.” They met in the morning (AM) and Peter McNally (PM) organized it. The purpose was challenge and growth. The members gave Fred a photo-shopped picture of themselves as taller than real life with the inscription: “You stretched us.”

BWFLI has the privilege of relationships which continue beyond the campus events. During the hurricane disasters we have joined in prayer with several of our schools affected by the destruction. What a privilege to connect with these institutions of Christian higher education during these times.

Mentoring Questions

1) How do I define integrity? To me, integrity is when all the parts do well what they are supposed to do.

2) What are my allergies (things that turn me off emotionally, mentally, spiritually, and physically)? I want to have an allergy to error, superficiality, and elements of a weak character. As my friend Steve Brown says, “The things that God dislikes I should dislike. The things He likes I should promote.”

3) What equally touches my head and heart? One of the most difficult things emotionally is to get the thoughts from our head into our hearts. Yet out of the heart are the issues of life. This means we must have our emotions join our mind before we are effective in what we do.

4) When do I feel guilty? A Christian should never feel guilty, but repentant in response to conviction. Once we confess we can be assured of His forgiveness. Sin should not be met with guilt, but with confession and forgiveness. One of the mystics said often our guilt is worse than our sin. This is because our guilt is self-imposed.

5) What can I concentrate on at length? Our passion should be for that which needs doing, is worth doing, and is do-able. If I can’t do it, then it is foolish to spend time thinking about it. I am strong on concentration because it is a discipline. I find focused concentration is one of the hallmarks of successful men and women. Solutions come through long term concentration.

6) How much change can I comfortably undergo? Change is always necessary for improvement. But change is not always improvement. Evaluation is required by comparing past, present, and consideration of the future to determine its value.

7) What necessary disciplines do I have (or lack)? Discipline is the ultimate result of habit. We must first decide what habits are necessary in every area of our life, and then we must practice until they becomes reflexes. Once they are reflexes then they easily become the disciplines which we do automatically. We should occasionally review our disciplines to make sure they are applicable to our progress and development.

Think carefully about this week: 1) Which of these questions should I think about this week? 2) Who needs me to ask them one of these questions? 3) How can I develop the skill of self-examination?

Words of Wisdom: “We must practice our habits until they become reflexes.”

Wisdom from the Word: “When the queen of Sheba heard about Solomon, she came to challenge him with difficult questions.” (1 Kings 10:1 NET Bible)

Joy on the Journey

Brenda’s Blog – September 12, 2017

“This is not just a bar – it’s an adventure.”

Driving through farmland of Illinois, I entered Minden (population 250). I pulled up to the stop sign in mid-town and looked around. The words on the building made me smile. What a positive outlook.

Wouldn’t it be fun to fill in the blanks for our own journeys? I am not just a ________; I am a ________. This pushes us to move beyond the boundaries of what we do to the consideration of who we are. The art of being is often put on the back burner as we focus diligently on the science of doing.

Hurricane Irma is bearing down on the Gulf Coast of Florida. The Governor Rick Scott has given regular updates. Each time he uses the language: “I am a father and a grandfather. I love my family. I want them to be safe and I want every single Floridian safe, as well.” These heartfelt words express more than his function as executive officer of the state. He is talking in “Am” language.

Who else did this? Our Almighty God when He conversed with Moses. “I AM that I AM.” He was the creator of the Universe, savior of the Hebrew nation, and sovereign God – He had much to put on His business card. But He chose to identify Himself in being words.

Following Him is not just a religion – it is a relationship. The adventure of faith is worth the dedication of our lives. He is not just a force, or a spooky Grandfather – He is our ALL in ALL. He is the ultimate definition of true life. HE IS AN ADVENTURE.

The Sporting Life

Weekly Thought – September 12, 2017

Fred followed sports and enjoyed the company of athletes. He appreciated the discipline and the “price they paid” they displayed. One of his closest friends, Bill Glass (founder of Behind the Walls prison ministry) exemplifies character and devotion. Recently, his lifetime love, wife Mavis Glass, went to heaven. Please pray for the Glass family.

The Sporting Life

Sports are valuable. They teach us not only how to play, but how to live. We see the value of opposition: mano v. mano, defense against offense. The one or the team who handles opposition best wins.

What if they decided to do away with the oppositional factor in sports? What if they decided to just play nice and not challenge each other? What if the quarterback stood still so it would be easier for the defense to sack him? The crowd would become the opposition, wouldn’t they? They would boo both teams and probably walk out of the stadium. The game is thrilling and exciting because of the tension and the one against another. Sports thrive on opposition.

Life is like that, too. As we face struggles and overcome, we grow and succeed. We get stronger as we shoulder one burden, shove aside one temptation, climb the hill of adversity – and claim the victory flag. Life with no challenge weakens us.

The hand is a miraculous creation… the oppositional thumb sets us apart from other creations. (Also, we have a soul… I haven’t wandered into evolutionary thinking). When the fingers press against the thumb we are able to life, grip, and twist. When we lose the use of those digits we are then crippled. When I was five I fell on a glass jar, severing the artery in my wrist. The inadequate medical care has taken the use of my right hand away. I can use it as a claw, but the smooth movement of thumb and finger doesn’t exist. I learned from a friend in the insurance business that disability claims for a thumb have a higher pay-out than for a regular finger. Opposition is important.

In life we learn to operate with opposition in such a way we maximize our efforts. We don’t look at it as an enemy, but see it as an opportunity for development. Just as positive stress and tension are necessary for a healthy life, the presence of opposition is crucial for proper growth. The confidence we experience as we learn to manage opposition well leads us to further wins.

Be thankful for opposition for it is key in success.

This week think about: 1) How often do I bemoan opposition rather than seeing its value? 2) What is creating an oppositional force in my life right now? 3) How can I maximize the adversity in my life?

Words of Wisdom: “We get stronger as we shoulder one burden, shove aside one temptation, climb the hill of adversity – and claim the victory flag.”

Wisdom from the Word: “In times of prosperity be joyful, but in times of adversity consider this: God has made one as well as the other, so that no one can discover what the future holds.” (Ecclesiastes 7:14 NET Bible)

The Will to Win

Weekly Thought – September 5, 2017

Fred processed continually. He looked at life through the lens of philosophy, psychology, and faith. He saw the nature of God and the nature of man as the groundwork for all worldviews and thought structures. He loved thinking and thankfully he preserved thousands of these thoughts and inklings for us.

Please know we are thankful for your support of BWF. Your support enables us to continue Fred’s legacy through these emails, the Breakfast with Fred Leadership Institute, and www.breakfastwithfred.com Financial gifts are tax deductible and deeply appreciated.

The Will to Win

Mary Alice and I have six grandchildren. Our three children keep us amply supplied with pictures. Mary Alice is now thoroughly enjoying the second generation and the opportunity to be a grandmother. I am grateful for them and all they represent. They are great pictures, but that isn’t what is important. It will be what the children see in themselves that matter. An eminent psychologist told me, “Fred, what a boy thinks it takes to be a man and what a girl thinks it takes to be a woman then tells me what I need to know to predict their behavior.”

But there is more – and something we can’t see in the photographs… the will to win, the drive to be a pro. Only time will show if they have the willingness to play hurt, to concentrate on becoming the best at one thing. I have always liked Paul’s focus: “This one thing I do.”
Just this week I was playing golf with the head of a marketing company who said, “We can now test for most things in a man’s ability and personality, but we can’t test to ascertain the price he is willing to pay for success.”

A highly successful executive and I were listening to world-class athlete Bob Richards tell what it meant to win an Olympic gold medal. My friend leaned over and whispered to me, “I may not be an Olympic winner on the outside, but I am one on the inside.” He has the will to win.

That is where the real champion starts for all of us. The desire, training, and ability to stay in there, lose, and then keep on coming on – that is the will. And this is not just an attribute of an athlete – this is seen in the factory, the home, the office, and in church life. We can all be pros.

When I look into the eyes of our grandchildren, I see promise and greatness (after all they do have our DNA), and I pray they will see in themselves a reason to pay the price of accomplishment and achievement. More than that, we want them to be people of character – that is the true win.

This week think about: 1) How serious am I about maximizing my gifts? 2) Who needs my encouragement and word of hope this week? 3) What is stopping me from doing my best?

Words of Wisdom: “That is where the real champion starts for all of us. The desire, training, and ability to stay in there, lose, and then keep on coming on – that is the will.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Not that I have already attained this – that is, I have not already been perfected – but I strive to lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus also laid hold of me.” (Philippians 3:12 NET Bible)