Counsel to Mentorees

Weekly Thought – December 31, 2013

Fred spent every January 1st in the office reviewing and assessing the past year and setting goals for the next. Even though his nature was strongly creative, he enjoyed a bold analytical capability. This combination allowed him to approach any topic subjectively and objectively.

As 2014 begins, we thank you. The Apostle Paul constantly gave thanks to those who formed his community. May 2014 bring wisdom, enthusiasm, and awareness.

Counsel to Mentorees

Having been mentored for years and now serving as mentor, here are some observations I hope are helpful.

Have your mentor to help you learn to ask the right questions, search in the right places, and stay interested in the right answers. “Ask a question the other person wants to answer” is my response to all those who probe this area. There is an art and science of questioning.
Decide what degree of excellence you want to attain. The object of mentoring isn’t perfection, but progress. Only a few can be truly excellent, but all can be better…begin with better.
Assume a subordinate learning position. Few people can be humble enough to accept concentrated mentoring. They let their ego get in the way and begin competing to impress the mentor.
Respect the mentor, don’t idolize. The relationship is created to enable growth, not to establish hero worship. When a mentor is placed on a pedestal it is often for the mentoree to claim affiliation. (more…)

They Call Me Virginia

Brenda’s Blog – December 24, 2013

“They call me Virginia, the navigator…I am glad you found us.”

It was getting late; I had driven many miles; I was ready to quit. All well and good except for one thing: I couldn’t find the hotel. It was a national chain with an address near an interstate exit. No problem, so why was I lost? Why was I getting frustrated?

Finally, admitting defeat I called the hotel and sweetly said, “Where are you?” (Probably not so sweetly!) “People get lost all the time,” she answered before giving me turn by turn directions.

“You are without a doubt the hardest place I have ever tried to find.” Laughingly she said, “Yes, everybody ends up calling, so the regulars have a name for me: “Virginia, the navigator.” Her voice and manner was truly sweet.

“Why in the world are you built so far back on this crazy site and why in the world don’t you have signage?” “Oh, that’s easy. Our owners are from out of town and they already had this piece of land. The other hotels are owned by one man and he made it impossible for anyone else to put up any signs. You have to really want to get here!”

Virginia was a model employee with a tremendous sense of hospitality, but her employers had put her in a tough spot. Virginia understood making lemonade from lemons.

Max DePree says servant leadership is providing all the resources necessary for the employees to be all they can be, accomplishing all they can. Where do we hinder others from achieving? Where do we tie weights around their ankles, expecting them to run a winning race?

And then, what circumstances hamper our progress? Do we recognize the power we have to become a Virginia, or do we collapse into complaining and mediocrity?

How can we create an environment for others that challenge them to succeed? And how can we respond to our challenges with humor, and professionalism?

A well-known newspaper column years ago began his answer to a little girl’s question: “Is there a Santa Claus?” with the famous words, “Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus.”

The same spirit of love, hope, and goodwill the newspaper correspondent described still exists in this modern day Virginia. Merry Christmas to you, Ms. Navigator. Thank you for being a lighthouse on a dark night.

Growing Others

Weekly Thought – December 24, 2013

Fred’s family had a tradition of buying presents and decorating a tree on Christmas Eve. It was years before the family knew their Dad started the “tradition” because trees went on sale that afternoon, as did gifts. He and Mary Alice made it special and festive.

The year is coming to an end. Has 2013 flown by for you? It is fun to look back and see all BWF (and BWFLI) has accomplished. Without your help, it would be impossible to continue this work. You are a gift to us. Thank you so much. And please know we will be praying for you to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ with joy and contentment.

Growing Others

We need instructors as well as mentors. With an instructor we share an interest in the same subject and can communicate easily around that particular material. Instruction is what Plato referred to as “transferring information from one mind to another.” Instruction includes showing how to use the data transfer to maximize gifts and talents for usefulness. Instruction is helpful for the learning of techniques.

Mentoring is different. Our best mentors are those with whom we share a common philosophy of life, knowing that what we do is an expression of our mindset. Personally, I have found that I can best be a mentor to those whom I respect most. That respect creates an atmosphere in which the mentee can learn the arts of development since we are talking about more than technique. Mentoring is the process of developing unique qualities in the art of learning. For example, such things as thinking, feeling, and dedication to excellence cannot be given by instruction – they can only be coached.

Mentoring involves the heart as well as the head.

The requirements of a good mentor are: 1) share a comparable philosophy; 2) sincerely believes in the mentee’s potential; 3) both understand where he/she wants to go; 4) able to make assessments and be willing to offer alternative directions; 5) recognizes when the “season” is over; 6) attached to mentee through accomplishment; 7) being mentored themselves; 8) willing to be committed, serious, and available. (more…)

Models for Living

Weekly Thought – December 17, 2013

Fred thought in categories. His gift of clear thinking was aided by his mental filing system. Long before computers, he had his own storage and retrieval process. He created major categories (philosophy, psychology, theology, for example) and when he read, or conversed, he mentally filed the information into one of his categories. When he needed to retrieve, he accessed the proper file. Many of Fred’s mentorees modeled this system.

One of Fred’s favorite quotes was, “Gratitude is the emotion with the longest shelf life.” We, at BWF, want you to know how truly grateful we are for you. The Weekly Thoughts give us an opportunity to share Fred’s words, and his heart. Thank you for your ongoing encouragement.

Models for Living

While our heroes teach us to be, our models help us to do. Models teach us to achieve the best use of our talents; models teach us how to link our passions to our activity.

Early on, I developed this purpose statement: “I have been given a talent; therefore, I am responsible for using it for the common good of my society and for the glory of God.” One of my first challenges was to determine my dominant talent.

Our philosophy of function is critical for a productive life. My personal belief is that service is the rent we pay for the space we occupy. And, the better the space, the higher the rent. We should never complain about the service expected of us. The Scripture reminds us, “To whom much has been given, much is required.” No one inherits rent-free life space.

Poachers on life’s territory eventually are dispossessed and exposed as frauds. We often hear, “There is no free lunch.” I firmly believe there is no free space. If you aren’t paying the rent, someone else is. It is our moral obligation to contribute. (more…)

Meet The BWFLI Team – Dr. Ramesh Richard

Dr. Ramesh Richard is President/CEO of RREACH International, a global proclamation ministry. He enjoys an international influence through his own organization as well as through the Dallas Theological Seminary students he touches in his faculty role. He has been part of the Dallas Baptist University, and LeTourneau University BWLI events. He is scheduled for the Taylor University team in April, 2014. He and his wife Bonnie are parents of three adult children.

Brenda A. Smith, President of BWFLI asked Dr. Richard three questions :

BWFLI: “How has Fred stretched you?”

RR: “Fred stretched me in his role as my (1) ministry mentor: by making me see and own God’s ministry gifts in my life as part of Christian stewardship. While I hesitate to “step up,” as many leaders counsel, he knew I would find it spiritually justifiable to “serve up” in my better usefulness for God. (2) leadership tutor: by giving me practical organizational wisdom. While academically heavy, I needed street-perspective, especially in the context of American culture. (3) personal sponsor: by lending me his credibility until I made my own. Not sure I have succeeded in the latter.

I am also applying his art of nuancing complexity to make matters simpler in understanding and communication. ” (more…)

Heroes Are Real People

Weekly Thought – December 10, 2013

Fred revered reality. He advised others to “stay current.” When considering heroes, his principle held, as well. He didn’t expect perfection from those whose lives he considered heroic. He admired men like Lincoln, DaVinci, Edison, and the apostle Paul. He identified their key character traits and understood their frailties.

The year is closing. As you give, would you consider BWF? Your tax deductible gift is necessary to grow the ministry, allowing us to expand Fred’s reach and impact. Your encouragement through emails, calls, and donations “stimulate us to love and good works.” Thank you so much.

Heroes Are Real People

Every generation contributes to the list of heroes. Every age selects those whose lives reflect heroism. Heroes inspire us and show us the heights to which the human spirit is capable. In looking up, we are drawn upwards.

It takes times to correctly identify one. We are better to use those with heroic qualities to remain models until a generation has passed. True heroes arise in retrospect. Looking back, not glancing around, is the test. Will Rogers put it this way, “Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.” Genuine heroes finish well, so tapping one in mid-life is premature.

Our society seems intent on “demythologizing” our stories of valor. It is popular to deconstruct the men and women of history, casting a shadow over the lives of those we greatly admire. The striving for a common ground on which no one ascends higher than another kills our vision. These social experimenters want to create a way to bring our heroes down by “telling on them.” (more…)

Balanced Spirituality

Brenda’s Blog – December 10, 2013

“The boy didn’t make it snow – God did!” My three year old grandson Will had it right.

The story told of a little boy who badly wanted snow. His Grandfather told him to try all sorts of silly things to bring down the white, fluffy stuff. Nothing worked. Finally, he did a snow dance and sure enough, the rain turned into flakes and covered the ground. “I did it! I made it snow!”

Without even a word, my grandson looked me in the eye and reminded me of the true truth.
His candor reminded me of a cold, snowy Christmastime in Dallas when I parked the car in a crowded mall lot, went in with my grandson Andrew to enjoy time together. When we left it was dark, and I couldn’t remember where I parked. We walked and walked and walked. Finally, Andrew spotted the car! “Thank you, Jesus” was my response. “How come you thanked Jesus? I found the car!”

There is a balance, isn’t there? Taking credit for weather conditions is foolish. Failing to acknowledge the diligence of a 9 year old is negligent.

I truly believe God is evident in all things. I believe He allowed Andrew the joy of finding the car. And, I also believe He gave Will the insight to understand who is the true maker of weather.

Showing Andrew the power of prayer and the joy of being the beneficiary of God’s providential grace was the “teachable moment” that cold December night. Celebrating with Will in his belief in our sovereign God allowed us a time to share the goodness and awesomeness of this same God.

As the Mom of three young ones I didn’t have the patience or strength to look for these spiritual vignettes. Aging brings the blessing of perspective. I thank the Lord for these “wee bites” which strengthen my heart and stretch them.

Your Heroes

Weekly Thought – December 3, 2013

Fred considered those others chose as heroes to be strong indicators of their values. He believed in the power of having someone to admire and emulate. This excerpt from You and Your Network speaks to his thoughts on the role of heroes.

As the year end quickly approaches, everyone at BWF Project wants to thank you for your constant encouragement. A man in Florida wrote to say, “Thanks for the weekly emails. I really learn alot from them.” Another recently wrote to say, “These emails keep Fred alive and his wisdom applying to our lives.”

Your Heroes

We cannot live fully without heroes, for they are the stars to guide us upward. They are the peaks on our human mountains. Not only do they personify what we can be, if we diligently pursue our ideals in the furnace of our opportunities.

Heroes are those who have changed history for the better. They are not always the men and women of highest potential, but those who have exploited their potential in society’s behalf. Their deeds are done not for the honor, but for the duty. Through our study of heroes we enter the realities of greatness.

Heroes are the personification of our ideals, the embodiment of our highest values. A society writes its diary by naming its heroes. We are individuals do the same. When Socrates said, “Talk, young man, that I might know you.” He could have added, “Talk of your heroes, that I might know not only who you are, but who you will become.” (more…)

Meaningful Associations

Weekly Thought – November 26, 2013

Fred was asked about his recommendations for personal growth. He answered, “Books, travel, and associations.” He believed we stretched ourselves and others through what we read, new experiences, and associating with interesting people. He always wanted to be the “smallest one in the group.” He said it took great ego control, but it also enabled him to develop.

On this Thanksgiving week, it is most appropriate for us to express our profound gratitude to each member of our Breakfast With Fred community. Your emails, your calls, your financial donations, and most of all — your prayer support allows us to continue our work. When the BWF Project started, we established three goals: expand the reach, deepen the impact, and preserve the work. You allow us to do all of that!

Meaningful Associations

Associations make a broader person. Most of them don’t just happen- they need to be planned. The “birds of a feather flock together” isn’t always the best formula for profitable, purposeful associations.

Character is the foundation upon which worthwhile association are built. Choosing the right people can create strong building blocks. Here are some of the positive traits of healthy associations:

1) Integrity – the person consistently seeks to do what is right

2) Love of Truth – We must all search for truth, for it isn’t always on the surface. It helps to be in the company of those who know and respect the truth. (more…)

Uniquely You

blog-5-unique-happy-face Brenda’s Blog – November 26, 2013

“World famous glass bathrooms” read the billboard luring travelers to stop in Sulphur Springs, TX. Personally, it raised more questions than interest. But it made me think about distinctives.

Companies work hard to distinguish themselves. Some do it by product design, others by advertising campaigns, and still others by pricing strategies. Businesses want positive name recognition.

A friend once worked for a CEO whose genius was creating bizarre morale builders. His head first dive into a pool of Jello fired up the sales force. Another thrilled the employees each day bounding into the international headquarters two steps at a time dressed in running shorts. Definitely distinctive They chose to be recognized for their independent quirkiness.

While working as a recruiter for a large insurance company we used a personality test consisting simply of fifty descriptive words on two sides of one page. The only difference: one side said, “Check the words you would use to describe yourself.” The other side said, “Check the words others would use to describe you.” Surprising how many saw themselves one way and expected others to view them differently.

Peter Greer, speaker at a Catalyst meeting, talked about ways to enter into conversation without leading with “what do you do?” In his list of alternative opening questions, he included, “What one word would others use to describe you?”
What one word would you use to describe yourself? What is your distinctive? What differentiates you from the other hundreds of millions sharing this planet?

I want my word to reflect my purpose and mission. I want my word to identify my heart’s desires. I want my word to express my longing for a life that counts. My word? Connect. What’s yours?

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