Weekly Thought – November 19, 2019

Fred thought systematically. He once said about a friend, “He has an impeccable mind… everything is in place.” Fred, too, had a mind which organized for maximum usage. Mary Alice loved order, too, but in the house. She finally gave up on having his environment (covered with books, articles, scraps of notepaper, etc.) match the pristine nature of his thinking process.

2019’s Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute schedule completed with a successful time at Palm Beach Atlantic University. Thanks to Mark Modesti and the BWFLI team for their work. And deep gratitude to President Fleming and his outstanding staff for their devotion to the growth of their students.

Four Things

(Fred categorized as an effective way to organize content. This week’s thought is built on sets of four things.)

1. Four great questions:
   
   1. Adam, where are you?
      
   2. Am I my brother’s keeper?
      
   3. Who do you say that I am?
      
   4. Do you love me?
      
2. People are searching for these four things:
   
   1. a. Identity and individuality
      
   2. Community – a sense of being home
      
   3. Meaning and significance
      
   4. Hope
      
3. Those who have a high need for achievement display four characteristics:
   
   1. They set realistic, not impossible, goals for themselves
      
   2. They prefer work situations in which they can take personal responsibility for the effort and the goal achievement
      
   3. They desire feedback about their own performance
      
   4. They show initiative in researching their environment, traveling, trying new things, and searching for new opportunities
      
4. Four elements of entrepreneurial pursuits
   
   1. The emotional strain of playing with your own chips.
      
   2. Wearing more hats and being required to handle more detail than customary
      
   3. Realization that working with people takes twice as long and at least 50% more money.
      
   4. Consider early change in lifestyle and social status understanding money alone is not the full satisfaction in life.
      
5. Four steps to helping people reach their potential
   
   1. Locate the path of potential. People cannot do anything they want to or anything they can think of, despite current clichés.
      
   2. Have faith to believe in the potential. Faith is an act, not a feeling or simply a word. Faith is acting as if it were so.
      
   3. Initiate discipline to accomplish the potential. This is the operating system.
      
   4. Have gratitude to enjoy the potential. Gratitude recognized that we have nothing but what we have received.
      

This week think about: 1) Which set of four things particularly stirs my thinking? 2) How can I organize my thoughts to be more helpful to myself and to others? 3) Who should I be investing in this week?

Words of Wisdom: “Have faith to believe in the potential (of others) knowing faith is an act, not a feeling or simply a word.”

Wisdom from the Word: “There are four things on earth that are small, but they are exceedingly wise.” (Proverbs 30:24 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – November 5, 2019

Fred lived with eyes wide open. Every experience fell into a mental file, easily accessible for future application. In a binder he accumulated what he titled “Stories.” This week’s blog gives two excellent examples of Fred’s ability to collect – and then use for the benefit of others.

Thank you for supporting the legacy work of Fred Smith, Sr. Your messages and Facebook shares are encouraging and invigorating.

Out and About With Fred

Well Done Service

I was speaking at a civic meeting in Kingston, New York. My host was scheduled to pick me up, even in the cold, inclimate February weather. A young man appeared who immediately told me he was driving me because he was concerned my host, who was older, would be nervous about the bad roads. As we rode, I found out this young man drove a delivery truck and worked in a warehouse for a local firm.

He was one of the most committed people I had met – committed to service. As we drove, he pulled into a rest stop saying, “You might find a cup of coffee or a restroom among the more pleasant things of life.”

After the meeting I found someone had taken my overcoat – a dire necessity in the cold New York weather. My driver immediately thought about an elderly man whose memory was not quite as sharp as it had been. He drove me to the hotel, tracked down my overcoat, returned to the hotel with it, and handed me a card with his home phone and the number of the closest local hospital. In our conversation he heard me say I had been having gallstone pains. He then told me I could call him any time day or night and he would be happy to come get me.

As he left he asked if he could attend the breakfast the next morning because “I just want to listen.” Afterwards he made a quick exit to his truck, bringing me an envelope which he handed me. “It’s Valentine’s Day. I know you are traveling and was afraid you might have forgotten to get a card for your wife.” It was one of those gaudy, gushy valentines which I would have never picked out, but I was proud to give Mary Alice via the man who was totally committed to service – a man with a noble spirit for whatever task, however menial.

Well Done Commitment

Eating in a country café in Grand Saline, TX I noticed a forty-ish couple sitting behind me. They looked like “salt of the earth” people. Of course, Grand Saline is the salt capital as the home of Morton Salt production! When he got up to pay the bill he came back, stood a minute, and then reached lifting her from the booth. Her arms went around his neck. He backed out the café door, putting her into his pickup parked right outside the door. I saw she was wrapped in a full body brace and unable to stand. As we all watched wordlessly, the waitress commented, “He took his vows seriously, didn’t he?”

This week carefully consider: 1) How well do I notice people and experiences around me? 2) What way can I apply these life lessons? 3) Who models this skill in my daily life?

Words of Wisdom: “A man with a noble spirit for whatever task, however menial.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I know your deeds: your love, faith, service, and steadfast endurance.” (Revelation 2:19a NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 29, 2019

Fred often remarked about his one liner style as an outgrowth of sending telegrams. He learned to say the most in the least number of words. He tweeted long before the technology ever developed! He was well-known for his punchy wisdom bites.

Please pray for the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute team as they travel to West Palm Beach, Florida to engage students in the “What’s Next Roundtable.” Your prayer and financial support is greatly appreciated.

Scattershooting with the Sage

1. I can tell a great deal about you from: the recurring subjects in your conversation, the time allocation on your calendar, and how you spend your money.
2. A good conversation should unwrap an idea like a gift package: slowly, mysteriously, and interestingly.
3. We find that most people are logical if we know the base (premise) from which they operate.
4. A job well done is its own reward.
5. Blessing is not a synonym for success.
6. Earl Palmer has on his desk a hand-sculpted sign: “It’s never easy.”
7. I’m not for the old times because I like these times when you have a bedroom and a bath, not a shared bedroom and a path. (Note: Fred remembered the hollyhock lined way to the outhouse!)
8. Opportunity is not mandate.
9. Humility is not denying the power you have but admitting that the power comes through you and not from you.
10. A man does not grow old, but becomes old by not growing.
11. Service is the rent we pay for the space we occupy in life.
12. No matter what age you are, you only have now… that is all you’ve ever had or ever will have, so at any age you have as much as you’ve ever had.
13. God does provide food for the birds of the air, but He doesn’t put the food in their nests.
14. One of our spiritual mistakes is giving God a timetable.
15. One of the greatest Christian rationales for greed is “The Lord blessed me.”

This week think about: 1) Which one liner can be applied right away? 2) ) Which one liner can be applied right away? 3) What am I doing to develop my thinking?

Words of Wisdom: “Opportunity is not mandate.”

Wisdom from the Word: “God gave Solomon wisdom and very great discernment; the breadth of his understanding was as infinite as the sand on the seashore.” (1 Kings 4:29 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 15, 2019

Fred thoroughly enjoyed being a substitute teacher at the Elliott Class (Highland Park Presbyterian Church, Dallas). His influence in that class continues even years after his death. He dedicated himself to preparation for these lessons. And time the class members commented on the way he stretched them.

Ministry of Ushering

The President of this class also serves as the Head Usher. In a recent time together I asked him, “What does it take to be a good usher?” “The first thing is you’ve got to love Jesus Christ with all your heart… so much so that it comes through in your enthusiasm and warmth.”

I have to admit, that wasn’t one of the first things I thought about. In fact, in my own upbringing I surmised there was a bidding system for the center aisle on Sunday mornings which usually went to people who sold insurance or cars and wanted to give themselves an honest name. I thought you had to have a dark suit, and a lapel wide enough for the carnation, too. In fact, I figured those who didn’t really want to be in the work of the church volunteered for church work. And I must confess, in my experience, it gave the advantage of stepping out for a smoke between passing the plate and sitting down. His quick response certainly brought me up short.

Then in typical Smith fashion I started thinking about the potential in the ministry of ushering. It is an exercise of the gift of hospitality. And there are others, as well, which relate to the functions of the church.

1) Many come to the church as if it were a hospital. They might be dressed in designer outfits and not hospital gowns, but they hurt just the same. Who is in a better position to recognize the hurting than the first contact?

2) Some come through the doors who are spiritual lost, without a relationship with God through Jesus. They have not had a new birth experience. Others are believers but are still lost, having wandered off from the Shepherd.

3) Most attending formal services want a reverent atmosphere. Even though I have friends who claim to worship more fully on the golf course or in a boat on the lake, many still find a sense of communing with God in a corporate environment… a “time and place” format for worship. The mode of physical gathering changes, but the idea of bringing honor and glory to God doesn’t. The idea of reverential awe still exists and the ushers are the very first ones to set the tone.

My friend’s comment about warmth and enthusiasm emanating from a love of Jesus Christ is truly the bedrock. The ushers are the very first handshake, greeting, and contact. They serve well as ministers of grace and hospitality.

This week think about: 1) How often do I consider the ministry of my church ushers? 2) What spurs me to notice those who need a friendly word? 3) Who sets an example in my church and how can I express appreciation?

Words of Wisdom: “Ushering is an exercise in the gift of hospitality.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Contribute to the needs of the saints, pursue hospitality.” (Romans 12:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 8, 2019

Fred believed in maturity. Despite his reputation, Fred did not relish confrontation, but he knew it was part of growth. In typical Fred fashion, he did a great deal of thinking on the subject. This excerpt from musings and notes highlights his process.

Please pray as BWFLI continues deepening relationships with students, faculty, and administrators. Watching them navigate the challenges with faith excites us. Recent articles trumpeting the lack of faith, decline in belief, and evaporation of hope emphasize the importance of the relationship between Christian laymen and the schools.

Confrontation is a Responsibility

Control of confrontation is important. Too often it is seen as a loaded gun open on the desk. That is a faulty way of thinking – and using – it.

It is a very purposeful tool, and I like to think of two basic types:

1) In a work environment between employer and employee

2) In a personal environment between friends or family

In the first one, you deal primarily with the facts of the case. It usually includes “this is the failure – here is why it is unacceptable.” Creating a strategy to rectify the situation is part of the outcome. It is a formal process.

The second involves feelings, motivations, and deep sources that require careful handling.

Confrontation requires a correct environment. It is very important the other person hears what you are saying. And not only what you’re saying, but why you are saying it. For that you have to go below the surface by asking questions.

In the personal confrontation I have found taking a “third party persona” works well. For example, I tell the story of somebody else who had a similar problem. I may not even mention the offense in the story. As it unfolds it is not unusual for the person to say, “You know, that is pretty close to my situation.” The opening up of the problematic situation permits the conversation to move ahead. I know the parallel in the stories but I do not create a scenario that manipulates the situation. And I am careful to never confront anybody with anything that they can’t change.

In confrontation it is not necessary to take the position that it is the immovable hitting the unstoppable. I like to think sometimes it is like running along and jumping on like you would a San Francisco trolley car. But you have to have the right environment for this to happen.

1) You have to have the right motive. Itching for a fight is not the way. It is always to enable the other person to grow, never to humiliate them. Accomplishment is the goal.

2) You have to have the right modus operandi (MO). I am careful about confronting anyone in business or the family before others. Correction is private. These conversations need to be respectful, even in the most difficult circumstances.

3) You have to have the right follow-up. Many times the right follow-up is no follow-up. I don’t want the person to give me blame or credit for the steps taken afterward.

This week think about: 1) How careful am I about confrontation? 2) Who models this skill well? 3) What situation am I facing right now?

Words of Wisdom: “In confrontation it is not necessary to take the position that it is the immovable hitting the unstoppable.”

Wisdom from the Word: “The one who refuses correction despises himself, but whoever hears reproof acquires understanding.” (Proverbs 15:32 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – October 1, 2019

Fred admitted an intentional effort to handle anger. He spoke of bridling bad temper and diverting the energy into a positive, productive direction. He helped many honestly confront their struggles.

Fred’s son and namesake has a new book titled Where The Light Divides. This “collection of essays on the life of faith” allows the reader to glimpse life through his eyes. It is now available on Amazon.com

Thank you for praying as the work continues. Please lift up our Christian colleges and universities. They stand strong in the midst of cultural disturbances and turmoil.

A Leash for Anger

I say a leash for I don’t believe it is possible to live without anger. Anger is a cat which far exceeds its nine lives. It can only be controlled. Just the presence of human beings assumes the reality of anger.

Anger can be dangerous when we begin thinking “two wrongs make a right.” Slipping into the thought that we can get even is foolishness. It is easy to recognize a “mad” in ourselves and others when ideas of retribution arise. Our litany of bad wishes even draws God into the mix by wishing lightning would strike!

I believe there are two emotions we label anger: 1) mad and 2) righteous indignation. The difference is crucial. The spirit which generates the emotion differs. Mad is self-centered and comes from the loss of personal power and the inability to force our will. Righteous indignation is being angry with what makes God angry. The desired outcome of one is retaliation; the other is willingness to stand even to martyrdom for the glory and honor of God.

“Mad” results from personal demeaning. For example, when someone insults, insults, assumes, or spites us. We want to fire back to defend and protect ourselves. It is all about our own ego. We seek to avenge the disdain. As Christians we know this is sin. “Vengeance is mine; I will repay.” But it is often hard to wait for Him. And what if He forgives and expects that from us? What if I deserved what I am getting? The more I dwell on it, the deeper I fall into the desire for revenge and “getting them back.”

Scripture tells us to “not let the sun go down on our anger.” This makes great sense. My friends at Mayo Clinic tell me anger churns up acid. Many stomach ailments occur with persistent anger. God gave us a remedy. We are to purge it before we sleep and not let it settle into the value structure of our subconscious. This way we start each new day with our souls fresh. The rancor of yesterday has not festered overnight.

I must always be the one to take the offensive in settling the matter. I must remember Christ died for the other person, as He did for me. I must maintain the spirit of forgiveness. A leash on anger is a worthy goal and an excellent exercise in spiritual maturity.

This week think about: 1) How do I handle my anger? 2) What sets me off? 3) When do I find myself getting angry?

Words of Wisdom: “We are to purge it before we sleep and not let it settle into the value structure of our subconscious.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on the cause of your anger.” (Ephesians 4:26 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – September 24, 2019

Fred thought… and thought… and thought. And as he thought he scribbled down notes (thousands are still extant in daughter Brenda’s garage files.) He fed on the writings of those who deeply considered life.

Thank you for the ongoing support of BWF and BWFLI. Each week messages arrive applying Fred’s wisdom. How strengthening it is to hear from you all.

Learning from Others

I enjoy contemplation. It is a solo experience between God and me. Often it occurs in the wee hours of the morning when I come face to face with myself. Some of these sessions go well – others leave me in agreement with God I have been shortcutting.

I also enjoy meditation. The distinction for me is that I see this as a guided study using the help of others who have walked closely and faithfully with God. I look at their writings to find principles which enhance my appreciation of the spiritual experience.

Let me share just a few examples of those who help me drive my spiritual roots down deeper where the drought cannot wither, unlike grass with shallow roots which die in the heat. I can honestly tell you they help me withstand the pressure of external circumstances.

1) Augustine – “Love God and do what you will.” The freedom of obedience. My friend Steve Brown keeps the message of liberty in Christ before me.

2) Francis of Assisi- “It is not so important that I be loved as that I love.” Jesus said we would be known by our love not of ourselves, but of one another.

3) Chambers – “Sit loose to things.” At this age I can look back on sudden losses which would bring devastation without this principle as foundational. Things should never define our lives. Chambers also imprinted another: “God isn’t interested in my success, He is interested in my maturity.”

4) Kelley – “Develop a quiet center in your life.” There must be a place where storms do not hit. We must have a gyroscopic center from which the other instruments get their orientation.

5) Tozer – “My flame may be small, but it is real.” Spiritual growth starts with reality.

6) Brother Lawrence – “Dishwashing is just as sacred as prayer.” He emphasized to me the “practice of the presence of God.”

The joy of contemplation is a necessary part of internal strength. The mutuality of meditation allows me to walk with the old saints. When I add these two elements to prayer, scripture, and fellowship I build a healthy system for a life of devotion.

This week think about: 1) How do I define a devotional life?2) Who have been my meditational teachers? 3) Which of these principles strikes home?

Words of Wisdom: “There must be a place where storms do not hit.”

Wisdom from the Word: “We proclaim him by instructing and teaching all people with all wisdom so that we may present every person mature in Christ.” (Colossians 1:28 NET Bible)