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  • Articles posted by mandate (Page 83)

Imperative in Effective Speaking (Part 5)

Weekly Thought – March 17, 2015

Fred identified his uniqueness early in his life. He consistently challenged others to do the same. He looked at his gifts, and his opportunities to define his purpose. Fred believed each and every person was born with purpose and should operate from this position.

Thank you for believing in our purpose and supporting us. We are always grateful.

Imperative in Effective Speaking (Part 5)

My speaking was greatly influenced by a drive across the farmlands of Indiana on the way to give a business talk in Indianapolis. It was spring and I watched a farmer plowing. In front of him was his faithful mule; following him were about fifty chickens. They were not following him to admire his plowing. They were following him because he was turning up worms. I said to myself, “Fred, turn up the worms and the chicken will follow.” Chickens need a reason to follow; so do listeners.

To me, it is pious irresponsibility to pull some religious Mother Hubbard gown over my lack of specificity by saying, “I want to give the full counsel,” or “We know God’s word will not return void.” My responsibility is to know which part of the full counsel I am to give today.

To communicate with purpose, we need to start at the close. Before you try to communicate, determine what you want to happen at the close:

1) How do you want the audience to feel?

2) What do you want them to do?

3) What attitude do you want them to have?

4) What do you want to happen because you spoke?

And be specific about your answers. (more…)

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Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 4)

Weekly Thought – March 10, 2015

Fred’s generosity of thought and spirit created a fertile environment for mentoring. He liked to keep “running mental files” of material for others. His analytical approach to subjects enabled others to develop their skills. This week will focus on basic presentation skills with Fred’s unique take on the points.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is working on the 2016 schedule. Please pray as we begin meeting with the steering committees. Thank you for your continuing support.

Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 4)

There are a few basic techniques which make listening and assimilating easier.

1) Fire in the voice. This is the most important of all for a speaker. Fire is contagious, clearly identified, yet difficult to describe. It is a proper combination of enthusiasm and conviction… enthusiasm about the subject and a conviction that requires expression. Fire commands listener attention. When the fire is gone, so is the audience. It must be alive, never synthetic. Be sure your volume is appropriate to the subject and the size of the crowd.

2) Rhythm. Rhythm is cadence. There should be highs and lows, peaks and valleys, changes in volume, words, and tone so they never become sonorous or drone on. Be particularly careful in repeating old material to maintain a fresh rhythm. Old content without fresh rhythm sounds like a broken record. Proper rhythm helps to place the emphasis at the right places.

3) Pace. This is important for both ideas and words. The larger the crowd, the slower the pace. The heavier the idea, the slower the pace. This largely determines the ability to receive. Pitch the ball at the speed the audience can catch it comfortably. Familiar material can be presented more quickly. The less familiar the hearer is with the content, the more time it will take for assimilation. Generally, emotional material can be given faster, for you are creating a feeling, not a rational response. A great example of this technique is the auctioneer who generates more and more excitement by his increasing pace. (more…)

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Just One Thing

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“Oh, excuse me – may I ask just one more thing?”

Peter Falk, as TV detective Columbo, was famous for his casual turn around as he left the room before asking the key question. His nonchalant attitude took the suspect off guard and usually triggered a most revealing response.

My Dad was a master at asking questions. He was able to unpeel business, faith, financial, and relationship onions by moving from one query to another – never offering advice. In his later years I asked him about this strength. “How do you open conversations with people?” “You ask them a question they want to answer.” Thinking there would be a simple follow-up I asked, “How do you know what that is?” “You just do.” This exchange taught me something critical about the process: there is an art and a science to questioning.

My friend Bob Tiede collects excellent, effective questions – and those who ask them. His blog www.leadingwithquestions.com features outstanding writers and recommendations for asking powerful questions. Each post points out the necessity for putting this skill into your toolbox.

Listening is a critical leadership element. What is the best way to create a listening environment? Asking questions. My Mom accompanied my Dad to many business dinners, often seated next to the host or another high-powered executive. On one occasion the host apologized to my Dad saying, “I am so sorry for placing Mary Alice next to Mr. X. He is a tough nut and he will make her miserable.” “No, you watch tonight and see what happens.” Soon, my Mom and this man were engaged in conversation. The host was stunned. “How did she do that?” “She asked him questions about himself and she truly was interested in the answers.”

What is your favorite ice-breaking question? What is your favorite family question? What is your favorite decision-making question? What is your favorite self-evaluation question?

As we learn the art and science of questioning, we will develop our increase our effectiveness in business, church, community, and relationships. And I leave you with two of my favorites: When do you feel most alive? When do you feel God’s pleasure?

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Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 3)

Weekly Thought – March 3, 2015

Fred was recognized as an outstanding speaker early in his career. His first major address was in Los Angeles and received coverage by the L.A. Times. This was only his second public speech. But his years of applied thinking along with his God-given communication abilities prepared him for this opportunity. This week we continue with points 5, 6, and 7 of his outstanding article on speaking.

The Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute is making plans for 2016 and 2017. We will be returning to schools in Florida and Kentucky. Please join us as we pray for God’s leading. Thank you for enabling us to continue the work of BWF and BWFLI.

Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 3)

A) Be Personal. Television has made our communications focus on the personality of the speaker. This creates the feeling of actually knowing each other. The best are those who make the audience feel like you would want to know them. There should be something in ever communication involving the audience individually. Billy Graham accomplishes this one-on-one by saying, “You are not here by accident. You are here by the will of God. This message is for you.” Zig Ziglar does this by asking questions early in his presentation and getting individuals to raise their hands. I sometimes stop at a controversial point and voice the question I have raised in the minds of the audience. They feel I know how they feel. Eye contact helps in developing the personal relationship. Try to get direct eye contact with as many individuals as possible without seeming obvious. But don’t focus too long on any one person because it feels invasive.

B) Be Enjoyable. Take the message(but not yourself) seriously. Let the people join in the enjoyment with you. No matter how heavy the material, it can be made enjoyable by a master communicator. The information may be new, vital, useful, even humorous at times. When it is profitable to the audience, it is enjoyable. (more…)

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Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 2)

Weekly Thought – February 24, 2015

Fred was a lifelong learner. He believed in preparation. The words of Paul to Timothy to “study to show yourself approved…” were burned into his value system. He was unable to further his formal education after high school but never allowed that to be a limitation to his studies.

This Weekly Thought is part two of the Speaking series.

We want you to know how grateful we are for your continued words of encouragement and support.

Imperatives in Effective Speaking (Part 2)

A) Be Believable. Believe the messenger and it’s easier to believe the message. Christ was believable because He spoke with authority, “not as the scribes,” who were professional quoters. Christ personified His message. I cannot teach effectively anything I don’t personify (or at least am trying to personify).

A truth that is not believed is useless. Ask yourself, “Can I make this truth believable?” If not, then wait to express it until you can. When Father Hesberg became President of Notre Dame, his predecessor Father Cavanaugh gave him this injunction: “Be right. Be humble. Be human.” This is the heart of believability.

Simplicity lends itself to credibility. General Colin Powell said, “Great leaders are simplifiers.” Cleverness, on the other hand, creates doubt. (more…)

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Words That Last

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Brenda’s Blog – February 24, 2015

“Thank you for loving us and being so kind to us.”

Thirty-six hours later my 94 year old friend unexpectedly died. Those were the last words I heard from him.

Have you ever considered your final expression? Would you want it to be an affirmation of your faith? How about a message of love to your family?

Jack didn’t have time to craft final words for he fell into unconsciousness never waking up until he opened his eyes seeing the face of Jesus. He lived with words of blessing on his lips. He lived prepared.

What would a lifestyle of readiness look like? Would our relationships benefit from more “I love you” and less “I told you so.”

Years ago an older woman came by my house. Noticing the unfolded laundry on the dining room table, the dishes in the sink, and the toddlers wanting my attention, she offered this advice: “Always leave your house dying ready.” “What?” “If you were to leave the house like this and not make it back, all the sweet church ladies would come in. They would offer condolences adding, “Bless her heart – she tried her best but her house was certainly a mess.” I appreciated her words, but at that point a helping hand with the children would have been much more helpful!

I cannot say my house is always dying ready, but I think about it every time I walk out the door.

Perhaps our relationships should be dying ready. As we leave each other, words of encouragement should be the last ones they hear. At my age, many of my friends enjoy marriages of 50 and 60 years. One of the common denominators is the “say I love you when we leave” rule. The heart is softened when these words cross the lips.

Speaking life and blessing to one another demonstrates the life of Christ. Being ready for our last words to be strengtheners emanates from the Spirit. Creating a community of encouragement flows from our Father God. What a privilege!

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Imperatives for Effective Speaking (Part 1)

Weekly Thought – February 17, 2015

Fred’s article on Speaking is a classic example of his clear thinking. He loved taking a big subject and breaking it down into manageable bites. This week we present principles one and two: 1) Prepare your attitude and 2) Prepare your content.

Thank you for helping us continue stretching and blessing through the outreach of BWF.

Imperatives for Effective Speaking (Part 1)

A. Prepare Your Attitude – Speaking starts with attitude – attitude colors every word, every gesture, and body movement. My checklist runs like this: 1) Do I feel obligated to speak or privileged? 2) Am I prepared, therefore confident? 3) Do I know what is expected of me? 4) Do I know I expect to accomplish? 5) Am I sure of my opening so I won’t be tentative or negative? 6) Do I like the people I’ll be speaking to?

All these affect the attitude. Anyone who feels the audience is fortunate in having them speak is prostituting the opportunity.

B. Prepare the Content – A speaker’s self-respect and sense of responsibility should start with content. If there is no content, there is no reason to speak. The best communication comes out of the overflow. There should always be that feeling that there is so much more in the spring from which this talk flowed.

It is insulting to hear a speaker who has nothing to say but insists on saying it anyway. In Texas we say he is “all hat and no cattle.”

Whenever I begin thinking of the honor of having been asked, I immediately shift to the responsibility of being asked – a responsibility that demands preparation. Each occasion should have its own special preparation. Speech notes, like bread, soon get stale. In each preparation there must be the yeast of newly discovered truth: exciting, new, and expanded insights along with practical applications. (more…)

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The Privilege of Participation

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Brenda’s Blog – February 10, 2015

“My entire life is ‘have to.’”

Steve Martin’s woeful response in Parenthood struck a chord with me. For the last few years I have worked on a discipline: changing my language replacing have-to with get-to. It is so easy to slip into the habit of thinking life falls into have-to categories: I have to get to church; I have to pick up the grandkids; I have to eat dinner. Funny, I don’t think I ever say, “I have to eat some chocolate!”

When I realized how negative this sounded to myself and to others, I began the exercise of translating my language to match my heart’s feeling. I love to go to church; I adore picking up the grandkids; and nobody likes dinner more than I do. So how did I fall into such a sloppy pattern?

I think I gave into the “oh, how busy I am” lifestyle. I immersed myself in the multitasking style. When that happens, good things become duties. How sad!

Then I stepped back and looked at the privilege of being a part of others’ lives. I looked at the joy of participating in my life. So, I shook my finger at myself and did some self talk arriving at this conclusion: “Life is a precious privilege and I am thankful for all I get to do.”

Beverly Sills, the world-renown operatic soprano, was once at a pre-concert cocktail party. She prepared to leave saying, “I have to go sing at the Met so I will leave you all.” Then she stopped almost mid-sentence correcting herself. “NO, I GET to sing at the Met.” Big difference, isn’t it?

As leaders of families, ministries, companies, and communities, we often make to-do lists that devolve into have-to lists. We must continually train our minds and hearts to know these are opportunities granted to us as blessings.

I want to be a get-to person, don’t you?

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Effective Speaking – Introduction

Weekly Thought – February 10, 2015

Fred’s speaking abilities gave him opportunities throughout his life. Even in his last years of immobility groups gathered to hear what him. On Saturdays they encircled him in what affectionately became known as “Fred in the Bed.” His last session was less than two weeks before his death.

We thank you for the gracious support through prayer, financial gifts, and words. We want to continue sharing Fred’s wisdom. And, as we grow the Breakfast With Fred Leadership Institute, our goal is to “stretch and bless the next generation of leaders… to the glory of God.”

Fred’s article on Imperatives in Effective Speaking will be excerpted over the next five weeks in a series of Weekly Thoughts. Today’s is an overview of the points. Build a file for these excerpts – they are keepers.

Effective Speaking – Introduction

Speaking to an audience is an awesome responsibility. When you speak to a thousand listeners for thirty minutes you have used five hundred hours of human life.

Only a few speakers are great, but many could be better by recognizing both the science and art of speaking. Like great musicians, there must first be a natural talent, then years and years of coaching and practice to achieve the art. (more…)

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Older but Never Old

Weekly Thought – February 3, 2015

Fred thought much about aging. One of his best received and best known articles for Leadership Journal carried the title, “Older, but Never Old.” He lived just like that. Some of his thoughts were encapsulated dynamite. This week features many of them.

Older but Never Old

1) I’m for aging – slowly, if you please. When I asked my friend what period of life he would have liked to live in he said, “As far in the future as possible!”
2) I started aging the day I was born….on the back of my birth certificate is my death certificate.
3) Memory is the way we keep in touch with our past, but it should not be the way we keep living in the present. Joining the “used-to club” is counter productive.
4) Activity helps the mind forget what’s going on with the body. There is nothing wrong with me that a little excitement won’t cure.
5) Start the aging process early – avoid surprises through preparation financially, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and especially relationally. Don’t make a junkyard out of your old age.
6) Life is divided into two groups: those who are aging and those who are not. Those who are aging are breathing.
7) Health has four elements: mobility, energy, lack of pain, and ability to accommodate suffering.
8) As we age we become mutual mentors with our children.
9) Make a list of annoying “old people” habits while still young and read it to as you age. Make peace with physical limitations and show grace to others.
10) Finish well by focusing on the right things. Forget the fading: looks, power, position and accent the forever: relationships, spiritual, contribution. (more…)

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