Weekly Thought – May 9, 2023

Fred had no patience with those who complained, “I’m bored!” whether voiced by a child or adult. He and Mary Alice handled their responses differently when hearing those words from the children: Fred encouraged study, thought, or writing while Mary Alice could immediately think of a household task which would cure any amount of boredom.

Nothing To Do

Boredom is the dry rot of our souls. It comes when we feel what we are doing isn’t worth the time, isn’t interesting, challenging, or entertaining. I find boredom can be the result of living too efficiently, and less effectively. That is, when our life becomes a series of habits and routines, drying up our creative juices.

Oftentimes children say to their parents, “I’m bored!” The best answer for that is one question: “What are you going to do about it?” We must learn early in life it is our responsibility to handle that emotion. It is not the job of others to keep our life interesting.

An extended state of boredom opens a door into pseudo-sophistication or melancholy. We refuse to lift ourselves by our emotional bootstraps our of the quagmire. Here are three actions I have suggested to those who come to me with the “I am bored” complaint.

1) Break off the repetitive pattern of life. In other words, make a change that will help us use our minds, and not just be habitual. Routines are helpful, but they can also lead to malaise.

2) Add something good to your life. Start a new activity, begin a new hobby, see the old things in new ways, and do something specifically helpful for others each day. I sat down with a young person with the “boring” words. I challenged him to make a list of all the activities he could name in five minutes that would bring positive change. With no hesitation, a list of nearly ten developed. Remember, the more bored you are, the less interesting you are as a person. As you start a personal development program, you will become interested and then interesting.

3) Take something bad out of your life. We all have things that need correcting. Eliminating a sedentary lifestyle, an unhealthy diet, or lazy mental activity – these are places to begin. Some of us may need to stop activities that are just busyness adding nothing to the quality of our lives. Surely you can find something to throw out. Mary Alice and I spent a New Year’s Eve in Naples, Italy. We were surprised as the new year arrived, people stood on balconies up and down the street throwing items out of windows and over balconies. Why? Traditionally they threw items away they didn’t want to carry into the new year. It seemed everyone had something to jettison.

As we war against boredom in our personal lives, we might think about what we need to throw out. And as we analyze our blah attitude we must accept the responsibility of poor self-management because boredom is a sure sign and symptom.

This week think carefully about: 1) How often do I feel bored? 2) What do I do to create energy and enthusiasm? 3) What score would I give myself on personal self-management?

Words of Wisdom: “Boredom is the dry rot of our souls.”

Wisdom from the Word: “I am weary of my life; I will complain freely without restraint; I will speak in the bitterness of my soul.” ( Job 10:1 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 25, 2023

Fred believed vision is a key element of strong leadership. His thoughts on vision generate thought and conversation. This week’s email highlights his response to a question about the nature of vision as part of a healthy, mature life.

Seeing and Leading

A journalist recently asked me about my thinking on vision. I think he expected me to give reasons for a lifelong plan with an overarching theme. But I don’t believe a vision has to be set for life. I think a vision can be crafted for periods of time and for specific areas. For example, a young athlete might envision a professional career. However, skill and experience don’t match up to the demands and expectations. The vision must change. And wise professional athletes might realize the vision of elite performance, but age or injury will inevitably end that career – and the vision, though complete, must change. The saavy athlete makes plans for the next stage of life, not assuming to ride the coattails of athletic performance sustain them after playing.

I now see many of my friends who had a strong vision for executive success – and attained it. But retirement came. The vision which motivated and generated energy is now a fait accompli. A new picture of the future must absolutely be developed.

One exception is the vision of who we want to be as men and women of character… that vision can be lifelong, and should be. In fact, we should be growing in maturity the older we get. The picture we have of ourselves should include a clear idea of who we are becoming, not just what we are doing.

I find it helpful to seriously survey my life as I age, recognizing the key areas of interest and activity. It is sad to see older men and women madly dashing from place to place filling time and trying to satisfy their need for significance. My mentor, Maxey Jarman, looked at the philanthropic sector of his life and decided he only wanted to give to four outreaches. This gave focus to his giving. He expressed his thinking by writing out a clarified giving vision.

Let me say this: I believe a vision should be broad enough and far enough out in the front of us that it gives us an idea of what we want to accomplish, who we are as people, how we want to be judged, and what reputation we want to carry. All of this requires discipline and repeated assessment.

Defining who you want to be as a person should be foundational, and many of the aspirations and dreams can be expansive. But all visions should be consistent with who we want to be during each stage of our lives – and how we want to be remembered when it is our time to go.

This week think carefully about: 1) What are my current visions for myself as related to family, career, friends, and faith? 2) How can I effectively assess my current vision? 3) Who do I respect with clear vision?

Words of Wisdom: “The picture we have of ourselves should include a clear idea of who we are becoming, not just what we are doing.”

Wisdom from the Word: “There are many plans in a person’s mind, but it is the counsel of the LORD that will stand.” (Proverbs 19:21 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 18, 2023

Fred often crafted his own word usage. This week’s message demonstrates one of his favorites: “residue.” Despite its current negative connotation, Fred used it to describe legacy. Rather than a sludgy deposit, he employed it to describe what we leave behind when we die.

Leaving Good Behind

As a young man I thought much about what I wanted to leave behind when I died. Growing up as the son of a pastor in the mill district of Nashville, I had no social position, no accumulated wealth, and not even a college education. But I knew I had been given talents and skills which it was my job to develop. One day I walked into a cemetery and studied the tombstones. After awhile I sat down on a bench and considered what I wanted on my own when the time came. “He stretched others” were the words that came to mind. I didn’t know how that would set a direction for my life, but I knew that was the aim.

The question is: “What residue do I want to leave when I go?” What future activities should I engage in to achieve this? For me this meant investing in individuals, not institutions.

Once I was introducing Ray Bolger at the Convention Center in Las Vegas. To prepare I went to “catch his act.” It was one of the most touching, philosophical dance numbers I have ever seen. He came on stage alone with the orchestra out of sight in the pit. He paid homage to the greatest dancers of all time by demonstrating snippets of their famous routines. For example, he danced up steps like Bill Robinson; and jumped from one surface to another like Fred Astaire. Then in a dim light he very poignantly said, “Each of the greatest left a little something on the floor.”

They were unique, leaving a residue of their art. Suddenly and silently the lights went out and a pencil-point spot picked up a lone stool sitting on the stage. On top of the stool were Ray Bolger’s shoes. His voice sounded, “When I go I would like to leave a little something on the floor.” Of course, the audience broke out in applause. He was saying what we all hope secretly – to leave a residue of life for others to follow.

This week carefully consider: 1) What do I want to leave behind? 2) How well will I finish? 3) Who can I help think through the importance of legacy?

Words of Wisdom: “What residue do I want to leave when I go?”

Wisdom from the Word: “O LORD, your name endures, your reputation, O LORD, lasts.” (Psalm 135:13 NET Bible)

Weekly Thought – April 11, 2023

Fred often asked his children “Are you pleased with the direction you are going?” Then he would talk about “revectoring,” and the impact of even a miniscule change in long range direction.

Setting the Course

“What direction do I want my life to take?” That simple question is a major key to meaning. I personally am much more concerned with the direction than the goal. Whether it is business, ministry, or even family relations, I see people set goals, accomplish them, and too often put a period afterwards. A popular 1960s vocalist sang “Is That All There Is?” Reaching a goal can temporarily deflate momentum. Many express the idea that the joy was in the journey, not the checking it off a list.

I walked through the den where the family was watching TV. A commercial came on featuring an animated character slurping through a straw. The tag line played: “That’s the saddest sound I ever heard.” Apparently the chocolate-flavored milk drinking rabbit hit the bottom of the glass and kept on sucking on the straw. I don’t know if it sold product, but it was a catchy description of frustration. When the emphasis is on goals, not direction, we set people up for that “sad sound.”

Goals should be touchpoints along the trajectory of our stated direction to measure our progress, not an end in themselves.
An outstanding young friend called to tell me after reading my great undiscovered classic You and Your Network sat down and wrote four pages outlining his direction with plans for implementation. At 44 he outlined what would define his direction, setting near term and intermediate goals to maintain the direction, not serve as terminal points.

The Apostle Paul said, “This one thing I do…” He knew the secret of the direction of his life. He did not say “I am going to win 2,000, organize 14 churches.” He set his direction as knowing and serving Christ, crucified.

I like to interpret the word “righteousness” as “rightness.” When I say the rightness of God I mean we accept God’s definition of right and wrong. In the scripture we are told not to conform to this world. But actually I see an awful lot of Christians who think they are avoiding conformity if they sin slower than the modern society. They think as long as they stay on the conservative side of the population they are living as Christians. But this is counter to scripture and distorts the direction.

When we measure our progress by what the world deems acceptable we are taking a wrong turn on our decision to live for Christ as our direction. It is critical to stop and assess, “Am I satisfied with the direction I am taking?” If not, it is time to make adjustments in order to avoid arriving at a destination far afield from our original commitment.

This week think carefully: 1) When was the last time I assessed my life direction? 2) How easy is it for me to become goal oriented and lose sight of the theme of my life? 3) What is foundational and non-negotiable for me?

Words of Wisdom: “Goals should be touchpoints along the trajectory of our stated direction to measure our progress, not an ends in themselves.”

Wisdom from the Word: “Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself to have attained this. Instead I am single-minded: Forgetting the things that are behind and reaching out for the things that are ahead.” (Philippians 3:13 NET Bible)